do people who lose weight ever forget they were once fat

Discussion in 'General Weight Loss Discussion' started by jfc, 29 July 2006 Social URL.

  1. jfc

    jfc Full Member

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    and become patronising to others fighting the battle with the bulge?

    All of you lot are adorable and supportive to everyone regardless of which stage on the journey you are on. but....I was thinking about someone I know who lost a dramatic amount of weight..through a combination of diet and then thyroxine tablets (excuse spelling)...basicaly her reason for getting so large was more due to an imbalance...now she can eat a lot more as long as she takes her medication...

    she seems to be condescending towards others with weight issues now...or maybe I am being over sensitive. Have you ever experienced this? A friend suddenly forgetting they were once where you are regardless of the reasons for it...they should be more understanding, shouldnt they?
     
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  3. DQ

    DQ Queen of the Damned

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    OMG yes this definitely happens :(

    I experienced it at university. A friend went home for the summer holidays, and lost approx 5 stone by eating salad and smoking :eek: She came back a changed girl - unfortunately not for the better. We were sat having a discussion about weight and stuff, and she basically said 'If I can do it, anyone can. But if you guys are happy to look like beached whales still....' There was a deathly silence while we waited for her to realise what she had said, but basically she didn't see anything wrong with her attitude, and thought we were just jealous of her success!! :mad:

    I have also experienced it later in life - people who have previously been large coming out with comments that if said to them would have made them cry in their larger days, but now it's just 'normal' and I'm being over sensitive if I say anything about it.
     
  4. jfc

    jfc Full Member

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    talking of the things people say that hurt...

    I play bridge and last year one man was very appreciative of my weight loss...kept saying how amazing I looked and was I a different person!....anyway he has said nothing whilst the weight crept back on which I thought was very tactful of him (or perhaps he hadnt noticed...wishful thinking)...anyway last week...he offerred me a sweet. I said no thanks I am back on the Cambridge and he then ruined all his hard work by saying " did you notice I havent said a word whilst you have regained all that weight".....!!!
     
  5. DQ

    DQ Queen of the Damned

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    Bah!! Like he wants a pat on the back!! Twonk! :mad:
     
  6. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    Diet:
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    I think it's really hard to get a balance and for that reason, I've chosen not to mention the diet to my friends. Of course, they know I've done it, but it's not discussed.

    The most I've said is "I've done Cambridge...and been lucky....it's worked for me", but only when they've commented on my weight...not when they're discussing their own.

    I'm so frightened of people feeling that I'm showing off because I would never mean to....after all...I have been lucky to get my head in the right place this time.

    Tricky one though. People are sensitive about their weight, and others who have been successful in their own journey often believe they've found the way for everyone.

    Not sure that makes sense:confused: Confuzzled myself now :D
     
  7. DQ

    DQ Queen of the Damned

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    I don't mean people like you Karion (hope that came out right :rolleyes: ) - I'm more thinking about the people who seem to completely forget how difficult it is to do it and be going through. Hope that makes sense!
     
  8. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    Oh I know DQ. I was just thinking about it from the 'other side':rolleyes:

    You know, I have a similar problem with my brother. He is rich....very rich...very, very rich (are we all clear on that:D )

    If he tells me about something extravagant that he has bought, I can't help but turn it (in my mind anyway) into something more than him just sharing the joy of his new item.

    Is he rubbing it in that he's more successful than me...is he telling me that he can't understand what I do to squander my money?

    Nah...he's probably just pleased with his purchase and likes to say and he should be able to.

    What I'm saying is that when the boot is on the other foot, it's easy to misunderstand and take it all personally.

    Yep, people aren't always tactful. They can be condenscending...but it's quite hard to get it dead right. I know I'm useless on the tact front...so have to keep my big gob shut :eek:
     
  9. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    Wish I could keep my messages short.:eek:

    Just practising here :D
     
  10. annie_h

    annie_h Member

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    I know this is quite an old thread but thought i'd share m experience on this too...
    Two girls i know at work both lost loads of weight on slimming world maybe two three years ago, and they have worked hard to maintain it...the first girl vicki is lovely and is still sensitive about her weight and stuff shes an 8/10 a lovely figure and carries herself really well.
    julie the second girl is smaller and a 8/10 but recently went on holiday and with vicki being a bit taller looks abit heavier than what jlie is.
    so when julie came off holiday, she was going on about how much food she had ate and stuff and came out with this corker "omg vicki i'm nearly the weight of you now i've ate so much"
    and this totally devastated my workmate i thought how rude.
    and we all work at evans which makes it even worse as thats a shop where women of all sizes are accepted.
    julie has also got drunk and told a girl we work with that she should lose weight as shes a size 24/26
    and also asked me whether its disheartening when i go shopping if i dont fit in anything.
    just shows you once shes lost her weight shes become stuck up towards what she once was

    i for one know that when i finally lose my 40 pounds i will never be like that

    x x x x x x
     
  11. DQ

    DQ Queen of the Damned

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    Oh Annie, that must have been so awful - I would have slapped her, but then I'm a bit evil like that!!
     
  12. Sweetpea

    Sweetpea Full Member

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    I must admit that in retrospect I'm glad that 20 years ago after giving up smoking I put on 5 stones in weight. It gave me a great appreciation of the problems that overweight people suffer, both physically and psychologically. I didn't know that when people get too overweight their thighs rub together in the summer and become sore and that they wear through their tights and trousers.

    When I went on CD and lost a lot of weight it was amazing how many slim people would then have the cheek to include me again in their little jibes against fatties. I always vowed that I would not forget that I have been there and got the t-shirt.

    Well I've now got 3 stones to lose after comforting eating my way through problems over the last year and am on CD again. I'm still glad that I've been on both sides of the fence. It makes you very aware that everyone has feelings and I really think I'm a better person for experiencing both sides of the coin. Some say they are happy being fat (which I must admit I don't really understand) although I feel that my self-confidence increases the fatter I get (no idea why) and it stays with me as I get slimmer.

    Lots of people talk about how fat people are in ceratin parts of the U.S. but what is good there is that there isn't a massive stigma attached to it - the people are treated for who they are and now what they look like. I've seen so many stunningly beautiful slim girls with enormous and unattractive man (or vice-versa) yet I like the fact that it is quite normal there too. Yes they aren't healthy so probably should lose weight but they don't vilify each other like we do here. Here in the UK there seems to be a totally different outlook on the overweight and obese.

    I've no doubt most of us would prefer to be slimmer and therefore more attractive but my past experience has taught me that everyone is beautiful in their own way and that we all deserve happiness whether we are fat or slim.
    Inside my body when it was fat was a slim person with a pleasant personality and I'm sure that is the same for most. Thankfully the fat goes and you still keep your personality but those with ugly personalities who laugh and ridicule the overweight will always be ugly.

    We should never judge a book by it's cover.


    Well I'n now on
     
  13. DQ

    DQ Queen of the Damned

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    Very nicely put Sweetpea :clap:
     
  14. Barb

    Barb Gold Member

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    Sweetpea you are so right. Why do we think its ok to instantly make a judgement on a person based solely on their weight.

    After years on steroids i had a massive weight problem to deal with, I'm still struggling but less worried than I was. During that time, when I was so heavy, all my friends and family were so good to me, I never felt fat or out of place amongst them. the only one who really made my life a misery was myself with my constant criticism and self doubt. How I would have coped if anyone had been cruel I just don't know.

    I believe 'fattism' really exists and is on the increase. It's funny how we don't pick on other 'defects' like height or length of hair or similar!! It seems being anti fat is socially acceptable.
     
  15. DQ

    DQ Queen of the Damned

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    Definitely seems like it is the last socially acceptable 'ism' :mad:
     
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