DO you think this is fair? (OT)

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by amethyst, 19 March 2008 Social URL.

  1. amethyst

    amethyst Banned

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    oh=other half / partner / spouse lol

    Ok last year oh parents booked a holiday abroad would of been my first holiday abroad, they paid for it etc taking my newborn and my 8 yr old too...

    i ended up having to go bk to wales because i became ill with postnatal depression really bad so i couldnt go... anyway they all still went..

    then nov last yr oh was asked again all booked i wasnt asked because of my let down.. they went away again.. (i was still in wales)

    (am up here in leic giving it another go living together)Then this year his parents have booked another hol yet again with my oh again.. i am like i want to go so i have to pay for myself and the kids £1300 WTF week in greece top hotel etc... need money by 2nd april as due to fly out 2nd june..

    am so so gutted, they wont pay for me again cus i let them down last year as i was ill (but i dont think they quite understand) OH to me is selfish and a golden boy... :( (i know i know)

    my mum says she can understand why they expect me to pay but not why my oh prefers to use his holidays up from work to go away with his parents (ok all paid for i guess)

    we sposed to be living up here, i dont have nbot passed my test yet, and i be left alone for a week? Wtf

    is this fair? what can i do?

    all advice welcome :)

    thanks for reading
     
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  3. DustQueen

    DustQueen Gold Member

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    oh gosh, I can only say that if I was in the same situation I would be angry, not sure who at though. I do think it is odd your oh would rather holiday with parents, how would he feel if you and the kids went without him? Maybe you should take the kids somewhere fun while he is in Greece he'll soon realise what he is missing!
    Such a shame that people don't understand the post-natal depression isn't just you having a strop and is a serious condition, i'm sure they wouldn't treat you the same if you had a "proper" illness!!

    sorry rant over!

    Good luck with it hope it gets resolved somehow!!
     
  4. julesrush

    julesrush Norwich CDC

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    i would be more peed off with oh to be honest, even if holiday is free i wouldnt want him to clear off and leave me behind, as a couple we work together and that doesnt mean one jetting off if the other person isnt happy with situation.

    julesrush
    cdc norwich
     
  5. cillabatty

    cillabatty carol

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    OH is well out of order, and so are his parents for asking him. He dos'nt sound very supportive either. If your not bothered and keep letting him do this he will keep doing it.
    DSorry but had to say my bit. LOL xxx
     
  6. shinyhappyperson

    shinyhappyperson Silver Member

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    OH sounds a bit of a mummy's boy, rather than a golden boy. Of course you should be annoyed at him ~ he should be wanting a family holiday with you and the children, even if all you can afford is a camping holiday by the seaside! You don't need to go abroad to have fun.
     
  7. cora xxx

    cora xxx Full Member

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    I agree with all of the above, he sounds like such a mummys boy, it seems really REALLY strange how he prefers to go away with his parents rather then his girlfriend and kids??? Doesnt add up to me, how did he treat you throughout your post natal depression?
    Big Hugz Don, you can come away with Si and me on our honeymoon instead xxx:giggle:
     
  8. Katherine-piza-jones

    Katherine-piza-jones Member

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    men eh??

    oh hun!! u have my sympathy your man doesn't know how to treat you, you have given him lovely kids and he doesn't appreciate you as much as he should, he should stay home with you and his mum should do a favour and cut the apron strings, the last thing i would like to do when my kids grow up is to take them on hols with me, his parents should be having some space too, or take your kids so you too get some quality time and he can get to be with you and your new figure lol !!!
    sorry if its too personal. but you been through a lot and this is the time when u need support from him, he's be gutted to lose you :mad:
    chin up and tell him to put you first not his parents
    good luck
    xx
     
  9. misscheeky

    misscheeky Gold Member

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    i would give your oh a kick in the bum. he needs a good telling off. I dont really like my oh's lot but i get on with them for the sake of it but there all sly. inlaws can be tough at times. I feel real bad for you have a chat to him bout it hun. Why dont you ask oh to ask the parents to take the kids and you and him go away together?
     
  10. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

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    I have to agree with your mother. Your OH's parents are under no obligation to pay for your holiday. However, it speaks volumes that he chooses to go with his parents because they pay for it rather than spend the holiday with you - or even offer to contribute to the cost of your holiday. When I say it speaks volumes, I mean ... he seems to be a little used to things being handed to him by his parents.

    I have no advice that would be of use to you but I don't think you can expect them to pay for you. Have you spoken to your oh to discuss the situation?

    ....... and I have to say, it doesn't bode well that he let you leave on your own when you had post natal depression. I think the issue is with your oh not with his parents.
     
  11. Russiandoll

    Russiandoll Carpe diem

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    I agree with all the above.

    Me? I'd leave the kids with my own mum, book a singles holiday with a buddy and spend a week eyeing up the top tottie.
    Time for some payback I say!
     
  12. want2wearbikinis

    want2wearbikinis Full Member

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    I like your thinking Russiandoll!

    If you can try telling him how it makes you feel that he chooses his parents over you and the kids, inlaws can be a pain in the backside but if he doesnt know how u feel he will always do the same and get away with it.

    Also I think it's sooooo wrong that when you were suffering badly from postnatal depression that he left you! I would be livid! The times you need him the most and he swans off with his parents! :mad:

    Stay strong hun xx
     
  13. misscheeky

    misscheeky Gold Member

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    Brill I think this is the best idea!!
     
  14. amethyst

    amethyst Banned

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    wow thanks guys sorry for late reply i spent lastnight scovving in bed :(:(:(:(:(

    i am ok though didnt do much harm on the scales..

    i have spoke to him and i know he really wants to go, what the hell i let him go but i will be going away, will ask my friend if she wants to come with me, the only thing is i will have the kids cus i wont leave my youngest with anyone.. its all good i will get my revenge and kick him where it hurts lol lol

    selfish git
     
  15. Russiandoll

    Russiandoll Carpe diem

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    You go girl!! lol

    Revenge ... something women do well (ever seen the car / model plane ad?)
    To really rub it in and 'get to him', after you come back from your hols with your mate and he asks what you did etc, don't rave about how brilliant it was, just smile wistfully, be very cool and say 'oh, y'know ... stuff'. It'll drive him bonkers! lol
     
  16. weepoppet

    weepoppet Full Member

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    That is so wrong. I am sorry but what a selfish B. Leaving you at home with your kids while he goes on holiday with his mum and dad? What age is he, 12? What grown man would want to go on holiday with his parents and leave his family behind?

    I would have a serious talk with him and if that does not work I would get in touch with his parents and tell them how hurt you feel everytime they offer to take OH on holiday while you and the children are ignored.

    If your OH was more of a man he would pay for himself, you and your kids.
     
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