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Do you worry...

about who you'll be once you've reached goal?

I was hanging up a t-shirt this morning and my first thought was 'I'll be so pleased never to wear this again', swiftly followed by a panic that I've hidden behind my fat and my big clothes all these years and I'm not actually sure who I'll be when I'm at a healthy weight. So much of my personality is based on my the big me.

Anyone else understand where I'm coming from on this?
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Totally! I got to just a bit heavier than this a few years ago with Lighter Life, and part of why I couldn't go further is I was terrified I wouldn't like who I was. I've been big since I was young, I think I was probably 12 when I first became obese, so it's been part of my identity all my teenage and adult life.
I've since worked a lot on getting to know myself and who I am, but I'm still wobbling at the moment, as I don't know what I'm going to look like, as I've never been there. And fat has always been part of my identity. It feels daft when I try and explain it, but I think you understand, as it sounds like you're facing the same.
I'm learning that when I've lost the weight, I'll be a slimmer version of me, and that my personality is still my personality - and yes, I am that sterotypical friendly, cheerful, fat person. But actually that's fundamentally because I am friendly and cheerful, optimistic and enthusiastic and I just happen to be fat, it's not because I am fat. This has helped me realise that I don't have to change my personality with my weight, it's just my lifestyle I will have to and have opportunity to change. I'm looking forward to being able to do more active things, without getting exhausted & red in the face after a little exertion and chasing my daughter round the park, even when she gets bigger and faster than she is now :)
I think we just have to take it a step at a time, but it does feel kind of scary, stepping into the unknown!
Hi onetwofour,

I have 57lbs to lose, might seem like loads to some & not much by others. I'm just hoping that I will be more confident & happy within myself. I've hidden behind my fat for too long, it's made me so shy of putting myself out there.
If you want to be a slimmer person then you will probably be happy. Maybe it won't change your personality drastically. You will still be you just slimmer. Does that sound right? I think that's how I see it. It won't change me but help me to be who I want to be xo
I can actually remember who i used to be.
I started dating my oh 4 years ago and i was a confident, if still a little shy, size 12. I felt attractive in myself and was proud to hold my head high walking down the street.
Over these years ive had 2 kids, left my work and become a virtual recluse.
I really want to be that same person i used to be again.
I am now a size 18, 15 weeks ago I was 22/24. To be honest am not sure how I feel lately, am happy to see my rolls of fat disappearing but feel like am changing in a way. I dont know how but I know I am. I haven`t been an 18 since 8 years ago before my son was born. He has always known his "fat" mummy:(. I have asked him if he has noticed any difference in size he has just said no. He is autistic so I fear that he needs to understand am changing but thus like asking too much of him :tear_drop:. I wish I had known about this diet at 20 and enjoyed my 20s, at least when I turn 31 I will be slimmer and hopefully happy:).

I totally get where you are coming from hun.... hope I havent confused you more:)


Silver Member
.........know exactly where you are coming from. However, as you reach each of your milestones I'm sure that you will also realise how much more life has to offer as a slim person. If you are like me (and I also realise that not everyone is the same) you will realise how much being overweight has held you back and that the world really is your oyster. Good luck xx:)
Im not at goal yet - nowhere near it but I am a totally different person to who I was before dieting. I have so much more confidence than I used to have and have ended up with so many more friends because of it. Ive realised that I actually like the person Ive become and cant wait to be even more confident when Im the size I want to be for the first time in my entire adult life.
Yep i get that 100%. Ive never been thin, ever. Always been big but gradually getting bigger. Ive always been confident and still am.....i never have problems with dating etc, probably cos since i dont think i have the looks, i have a pretty quick funny wit. When im thin i wonder how it will feel to be the pretty one rather than the funny one (if that makes sense lol).
I'm with you babystar, I've always been confident, even when big, and have always gone out with friends etc, and been the funny one, the friendly one etc, but not the pretty one. When I was a late teen, and was first really overweight, I used to think, well the thin pretty ones were really shallow, and hadn't developed their personality (I know, very mean.... but my way of dealing with it at 15); it's weird, now I wonder, eeeek, if I get thin, will that mean I get mean too? Daft games in our heads! When I read some of these posts out, my husband goes -eeeek, you don't need to get any more confident! I think this diet will mean we just get thin, and can still be ourselves, but can do any of the more active / energetic things that weren't really working before!
Looking forward to seeing this journey through :)
Oh yeah of course i'll still be me joanne, ive always liked to think im a witty funny person and that wont change....i meant it in the sense, how will it feel for others to see me differently. Cos as much as its crap, people tend to look at you first and "see" the real you second. Fat, thin, whatever, my personality will be the same.....but it will b interesting to see what reaction i get as a thin funny person in comparison to what i get as a fat funny person. ha...im confusing myself now hahaxx
Good point and not something Ive thought about. I think for me its more a case of people being more interested in getting to know me now whereas before they wouldnt have looked twice so it has brought me more out of my shell.
Yep thats so true. I come across as a confident person but in many ways im not. People see the person i want them to see....not always the real me. I want to actually be confident in myself, not care what people think etc. Altho i have to say, being overweight has maybe not been a bad thing for me cos now i know how shallow some people can be that i'll never be that way myself. Cos regardless of how our weight changes we are still the same people inside and i bet there are loads of ppl who would be happy to get to know a ize 12 me but not a size 22 me! Thats a hate of mine.....the shallow world me live in lol x
Couldnt agree more Mandy but Im loving being a 'normal' size although there are some people who seem to struggle with it. I commented earlier today about how a size 20 pair of trousers we saw in a shop would be too big for me and was scornfully told that of course they would. Fortunately I know for a fact that jealousy played a huge part in that comment and always will. This btw came from a family member who has spent my entire life telling me that I should lose weight coz I look terrible while she is about 20 stone herself.
Oh yeah sometimes its those closest to you who hurt you the most tho. Im in the same situation with family, most of the women are bigger built and weve all been yoyo dieters for years. I know they think i wont do it, they have already given up on the idea of me reaching goal, cos they dont think i can. Thats family support for you eh :) Youve come so far and you will get to your goal, and the family member who is jealous of that maybe should worry about her own weight as opposed to yours xx
We both will this time Mandy. Ive spent the last 3 weeks messing about changing diets and gaining weight even though Ive been sticking to the diets so decided the only way to do it was to come back to Exante. Am on day 2 of my restart and think Im back in the right place to actually get it done this time. Fingers crossed by the end of this year we will be both be size 12's.

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