Does anybody feel guilty about using their syns and hexa & hexB? I'm becomming obsessed :(

[Gummicorn]

Please excuse the essay....... I am in a little bit of a pickle and need some advice

I have been with SW (With the hubby) for 5 weeks now, my weekly weight losses have been -5lbs, -3,5lbs, -4lbs, -1.5lbs, -3lbs (So 17lbs in total) and i was slimmer of the month last month and also slimmer of the week on week 3. I have an allowance of 25 syns for my weight. (Now 300lbs)

Everything was fine for the first two weeks but on the third week my husband gained a couple of lbs and there was a consultant that was covering for the usual lady, and she was really patronising and got a bit funny with him about it. Almost to the point of talking to him like he was stupid.... obviously, that was really embaressing for him and also for me! I was so annoyed! Now, since then i have been freaking out about gaining, to the point that i am really only eating free food, mainly speed food because i am so worried that if i gain, i will get the same treatment, and it terrifies me. I've been eating a kiwi or an orange for my lunch at work, only drinking water, making free/speed meals and cycling so much that i think i am pushing myself too much. I'm aching everywhere. Also, i am weighing myself every time i go to the loo at home. I feel like i am absoloutly obsessed with food, yet i'm not really eating it, unless its speed. If i do have anything, even if its a non speed free food (I did have a chocolate bar monday as i needed a sugar boost but felt terrible afterwards and cycled for ages to make sure i worked it off) then i feel so guilty, even when i haven't really been using any of my syns!
I'm almost punishing myself for using my syns, even if its a 'healthier' syn like an avacado. I'm getting to the stage that if i gain in group, i will totally freak out and have a melt down. That's why i am weighing myself multiple times a day, just to make sure i'm not gaining. I lost 1.5lbs last week and i was really dissapointed in myself.... I feel like i have an unhealthy relationship with food since being with SW..... I just don't know what to do because mentally, that woman has really messed up my head. I genuinly have so much anxiety about it now.
A few years back, i lost 4 stone by myself and had no anxiety issues (I did put it all back on and a little more) but had no issues with what i was eating. i was eating cleanly and walking a lot and it was working. My husband used to go to SW before i knew him with him mum so this is what he knows, hence why we joined up. I want to make sure i go to support him too so i feel like i can't just stop going, despite my anxiety about it.

If anyone has any ideas of how to get my head out of this horrible space, i would appreciate it,

Thanks in advance xx

 

[matt9210]

Hi!
Congrats on the losses so far

Without being there, it's hard to comment on the situation with the consultant. A gain in any week is disappointing, but especially the first few weeks when you expect the losses to be coming off (you never said if your husband's gain was expected or not?). So if someone has a gain in the first few weeks of SW and they don't know why, a good consultant will want to help and perhaps check you were noting down all syns and measuring them, keeping a third of the plate speed, etc. All basic stuff that could sound patronizing to someone familiar with SW as you say your husband is, but perhaps meant with good intent. Of course, there are some not so good consultants out there too, which may be what's happened with you. But I just wanted to provide a different viewpoint ^^

If she was just a stand in and you like your usual consultant, I wouldn't worry about it! I'm sure in the weeks you've been there, you've seen other people gain on at least one of those weeks right? Are you OK with how your usual consultant speaks to people on weeks they've gained?

Ahh don't punish yourself and push yourself too much with regards to food/exercise! What you were doing was working well judging from those big losses before you started restricting yourself more, so you know you can lose weight and enjoy what you're eating because you've already done it recently

Also, perhaps it's worth talking to your usual consultant about? I think that would help too.

I think you're doing fantastic so far, but at this stage I think it's so important to enjoy the amount of freedom the plan gives you (especially free foods, I can't even remember the last day I didn't eat carbs! ). The most important thing is to stop pushing yourself so hard with food and exercise, and get back to eating the food you enjoy. Those 15-25 syns are there precisely so we can enjoy those treats without the guilt and knowing we've stuck to plan. No doubt in my mind I couldn't have lost almost 7 stone and kept a big chunk of that off for the past 4 years or so if I didn't have my syns or enjoy my meals with free food.

Good luck! Keep us updated

 

[TRISTAR]

Hi welcome along. I have seen it a few times where people have a 25 syn allowance per day. mine has always been between 5 and 15 (whatever I choose), even when I weighed almost 22 stone. I wonder why each consultant does things differently?

I had to get my head round guilty feelings quite quickly, and get into the swing of feeding myself up properly. It's our natural reaction to restrict ourselves too much, but it's not the answer. A burning fire needs fuelling. If you need help, could your doctor refer you to a weight management counsellor, as psychological/emotional aspects are a huge part of weight management?