Don't you just hate it when....

kingleds said:
Have you considered telling him? Some men do struggle to see the blantantly obvious in front of them & need it spelling out in short blunt words.

I don't want to make excuses for him, he obviously needs to pull his finger out, but often when men are made redundant & find it difficult to find another job it seriously affects their self esteem. They feel worthless as they are exected ot the breadwinner, and they aren't. This probably contributes to his lack of attention to you, and general apathy towards doing anything.

I would in the 1st place discuss with him some of the things he could be doing to take the pressure off you. For example, take the kids to school, if they are that age, walk the dog (its a bloke job anyway), clean the house, do some washing. As long as you don't expect him to do everything it won't be unreasonable.
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I have tried talking to him about it & he says I'm hen pecking him, then we have an argument about it. I know he's feeling down coz not only did he loose his job but his 11 year old son from previous relationship took his own life last November (it hit us all hard & still does) but I still can't help feeling resentful at times. I am always tired because of working to try & make ends meet. We don't get any help money wise because we have a mortgage, if we rented would get most paid for. So at moment everything is really stressful.
But thanx for your reply's x
 
dancinglilly said:
I have tried talking to him about it & he says I'm hen pecking him, then we have an argument about it. I know he's feeling down coz not only did he loose his job but his 11 year old son from previous relationship took his own life last November (it hit us all hard & still does) but I still can't help feeling resentful at times. I am always tired because of working to try & make ends meet. We don't get any help money wise because we have a mortgage, if we rented would get most paid for. So at moment everything is really stressful.
But thanx for your reply's x
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That is shocking. It must have been a terrible time for you all. I can not imagine an 11year old taking there own life.

Can you change your mortgage to an interest only one for a couple of years the approriate benefits department would then pay the interest for you so freeing up that money.

My sister gets help and this is one of the things she gets help with.

hugs xxxx
 
dancinglilly said:
I have tried talking to him about it & he says I'm hen pecking him, then we have an argument about it. I know he's feeling down coz not only did he loose his job but his 11 year old son from previous relationship took his own life last November (it hit us all hard & still does) but I still can't help feeling resentful at times. I am always tired because of working to try & make ends meet. We don't get any help money wise because we have a mortgage, if we rented would get most paid for. So at moment everything is really stressful.
But thanx for your reply's x
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God how horrible, I know this isn't directly in response to your original gripe but have you all had counselling about what happened? Being out of work and having time to think isn't always a good thing when you are in a dark place. Could he be suffering depression that isn't being treated?
I can understand how frustrating it is being the one doing everything in the house but if his mind is consumed elsewhere it probably doesn't occur to him to do those things. The counselling may be something he has already done, but depression can last much longer and not always for such a horrific reason.
Hugs for all of you xx
 
Perhaps a list on the fridge of jobs to be done and time allotted may help him see how much time is taken up by it all.

So sorry to hear of your awful loss xxx
 
ScarlettStar86 said:
God how horrible, I know this isn't directly in response to your original gripe but have you all had counselling about what happened? Being out of work and having time to think isn't always a good thing when you are in a dark place. Could he be suffering depression that isn't being treated?
I can understand how frustrating it is being the one doing everything in the house but if his mind is consumed elsewhere it probably doesn't occur to him to do those things. The counselling may be something he has already done, but depression can last much longer and not always for such a horrific reason.
Hugs for all of you xx
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I have suggested counselling, but my fella is a manly man & just won't except he needs it (I know he does) I feel like were just going round in circles all the time with arguing ect..
 
Shirleen said:
Perhaps a list on the fridge of jobs to be done and time allotted may help him see how much time is taken up by it all.

So sorry to hear of your awful loss xxx
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Thanx shirleen, I have tried that, not on the fridge but giving him a run down of what I do & how long it takes. In 1 ear & out of the other. Xxx
 
When you've fallen off the wagon big style over the last few months and have put loads of weight back on.

Eating up the last of the 'naughty' things in the house then back on SW as of next week... though even this week will be far better eating wise even with the eating up of the naughties!
 
KittenKat said:
When you've fallen off the wagon big style over the last few months and have put loads of weight back on.

Eating up the last of the 'naughty' things in the house then back on SW as of next week... though even this week will be far better eating wise even with the eating up of the naughties!
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Was wondering where you'd gone kk x
 
KittenKat said:
When you've fallen off the wagon big style over the last few months and have put loads of weight back on.

Eating up the last of the 'naughty' things in the house then back on SW as of next week... though even this week will be far better eating wise even with the eating up of the naughties!
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been there plenty of times! all the naughty stuff has to be eaten up before i start to be good..u live like a king for a week! lol
xxxx
 
kingleds said:
Was wondering where you'd gone kk x
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I have been peeking in now and again but not posting, but plan on being back on plan as from next week, so you will no doubt be seeing a lot more of me!

But other than the weight gain, life is good :)
 
KittenKat said:
When you've fallen off the wagon big style over the last few months and have put loads of weight back on.

Eating up the last of the 'naughty' things in the house then back on SW as of next week... though even this week will be far better eating wise even with the eating up of the naughties!
Click to expand...


yay the Cat is back xxxxx
 
Shirleen said:
yay the Cat is back xxxxx
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Yep, I is back!

Reality hit at the weekend when I defended one of my parents' cats, saying he wasn't over-weight, it was just all fur... and then realised the same couldn't be said for me, lol! I'm feeling it now, don't feel good about myself anymore so time to shift this pesky weight (again!). I've done it once, can do it again, and hopefully stick at it this time and get to my goal! :)

Hope that everyone here has been doing ok while I've been awol, and am looking forward to catching up with peeps now I'm back :D
 
.....I tried to do my shred, but over the weekend I had taken our rug up as summer has now arrived. Trying to do any kind of push up was a nightmare - towel, feet and sweaty hands sliding all over the place on the tiled floor. It must have looked more like Dumbo on Ice than Bambi on Ice.

The good news is my exercise mat has now arrived so it should be far more 'elegant' today!
 
M Louise H said:
.....I tried to do my shred, but over the weekend I had taken our rug up as summer has now arrived. Trying to do any kind of push up was a nightmare - towel, feet and sweaty hands sliding all over the place on the tiled floor. It must have looked more like Dumbo on Ice than Bambi on Ice.

The good news is my exercise mat has now arrived so it should be far more 'elegant' today!
Click to expand...

Sorry but the vision made me laugh, I hope the mat helps xx
 
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