This is something I wrote when I was in a reflective mood last time I was dieting. Seems kind of appropriate for this thread so I thought I'd post it.
I think when we're overweight we find it really hard to say no to food that is offered to us. We think that by saying no, leaving something on our plates, or giving food back, we will insult people. The truth is people will be proud of you if you can say no.
Look at those people that we're all jealous of because they're 'naturally skinny'. The only difference with them is that they can say no! No thank you I don't want that chocolate bar. Thank you but I'll leave the rest of that as I'm full now.
By even considering giving back the chocolate bar your mind is going into 'slim' mode which is it's natural setting. It's only societies pressure's that has taken us out of this. I mean how many people on here were told they couldn't leave the table until their plate was empty? It's something that has been so ingrained into us it's hard to stop.
The problem is that when the portions get bigger, and we still can't say no, we get bigger, and bigger, and bigger. It's something that is really hard to stop though.
You can almost think of that inability to stop as an addiction to saying yes. Yes I will have that cake, that chocolate bar, that dessert. You can be told what harm your addiction is doing to you but to start with you just can't see it. That addiction to 'yes' is ruling your life. That addiction to yes could give you diabetes, a heart attack, a stroke. That addiction to yes could quite literally kill you. But yes is everything.
How often do you sit there and all you can think about is that next yes? Yes to McDonalds for lunch. Yes to that bar of chocolate from the shop. Yes, yes, yes!
Now compare that to your next no. No I don't want to finish that McDonalds. No I don't want that chocolate bar from the shops. No is like the nicotine patch to your yes. And you don't really want that nicotine patch because yes just makes you so happy. For a short time.
The problem is when you look back and realise you have a problem. The thing is you don't want to admit that yes is that problem so you'll deny the problem. Put it to the back of your mind and pretend you're happy, whilst all along it's niggling at you.
There is a different thing for each of us that eventually make's us face up to our addiction. Make's us stand up and take notice. For some it will be their kids, watching them grow up but being unable to go out there and play with them like you want to. For some it's seeing the final results of a yes addiction, whether in a friend, family member, or themselves. For some it will just be that that niggling has gotten so insistent it can no longer be ignored. It's different for all of us.
Now here the problem lies. Yes is an addiction, but we can't give it up. Not entirely. Other addictions, smoking, drugs and the like, can all be stopped completely. But we will have to eat for the rest of our lives. No getting away from it. So now we face the hardest task ever. Facing that addiction, and beating it.
Again different people will take different approaches to this. Some can fight addiction while still eating normal foods, whilst some will take the food replacement option. Which ever option is taken though you have to work on that addiction, because if you don't, it will just bite you in the ass. The weight loss programs we embark upon when fighting this addiction often only provide half the battle plan. They will tell us what to eat and when. They will tell us where we can say that beloved yes. But we have to have the strength and willing in ourselves to say that other word. No. We have to say no to the foods that have got us where we are. And we have to remember that when is diet is done we need to keep saying no. No, no, no.
When fighting our addiction of yes we need to look at those people who aren't addicted. The skinny people. We need to look at how they think about food and how they use their yes's and no's. One thing that is often noticed is that no is used a lot. They don't want to finish their meal as they're full so they say no. They aren't hungry so they say no to that chocolate bar. Not because they are thinking about it but because they have formed a habit where no is just part of life. If they aren't hungry it's a no.
For us to reach our goal, and more importantly, stay there, we need to work on that no. Just say it now. NO! At the end of the day, if we can't learn to say no we can't learn to live. No is the antidote to the venom of yes. Without that antidote we will always have yes ruling our lives.
So it's out with constant yes, and in with a good balance of no. Every one can do it. It's not going to be easy but one day, we will get there.
