Charl chica - you are definitely not alone. If every woman was open enough to admit it I suspect that you would find that at least 50% of women go through this - probably more than that if the truth were out.
Yes relationship problems can often be the cause of waning sex drive but I reckon the pill has a lot to answer for. It regulates your hormones and coming off it will certainly have caused havoc so it could be a few months before you are feeling anything like normal again.
During my 20's and 30's I had massive "female" problems so they kept changing my contraceptives around and every time they did I went seriously off sex. Took a good long time to realise what was going on - in fact is was my lovely hubs who spotted it.
Then I went onto HRT after I had a full hysterectomy in 1991 (I was only 36) and things settled down for a good few years. But when I came off the HRT I couldn't even face letting my hubby give me a cuddle let alone even think about sex. I still fancy him like mad (even after almost 40 years of being together) and he means the world to me. It was about 6 months before I could even bear for him to touch me again.
So you aren't a freak etc etc etc just a normal lady with normal worries and fears.
And yes, I still feel very self-conscious about my new body despite being 5 stone lighter and looking so much better than I did.
Go and talk to the doc just to make sure that nothing else is going on - a young, female one if one's available as I find that they have so much more empathy with these sort of things - but I'll think you'll find that it's normal for this happen.
And some old fashioned agony aunt advice coming up. Forget sex as the objective !!!!
Go back to basics and just have lots of cuddles and foreplay.
You'll obviously need to discuss it with Dan as it might get a bit frustrating for him
but believe me it should rekindle the fun and the attraction that brought you together in the first place and "it" will just sort of happen at some point. Believe me - I've been there.
And yes "Fifty Shades" was a blumin' eye opener for me. I only read it because everyone was talking about it and it worked wonders for me. Can't say that I did too much "experimentation" IYKWIM but it woke me up again so to speak *** says she blushing furiously ***
And now for the bad news. Unfortunately for most women as you grow older your sex drive will deteriorate even more as the hormones slide into oblivion after the menopause. Believe me - I know and it can be a reet royal pain when you still fancy your hubby like mad. But there are things to help which I can also vouch for! *** says she blushing furiously AGAIN ***
More ((( hugs ))) coming your way.
