Consolidation Eilidh's 285 days of conso!
- Thread starter xeilidhx
- Start date
Timetogetserious
Gold Member
xeilidhx said:I haven't contacted him. I've behaved. He's added me on fb tho! But that's his move. Need to go and pick my car upmot so it's pricey!
He's added you on fb!!! What!!!!
Don't accept!! You don't need hourly updates on what he's doing! Xx
Timetogetserious
Gold Member
Your not going to add him are you???!
You don't need to see his life!! Xx
You don't need to see his life!! Xx
ellie1969
Gold Member
when i split with an ex it was like your situation... he loved me... i loved him but he didnt want to be with me. we tried to stay friends but it hurt both of us in the long run. occasionally he would text saying he couldnt live without me blah blah and that he was going to end his life... leaving me very worried and contacting ppl to go and check on him ... everytime it was a hoax... his way of getting attention and trying to ruin things as i was in another relationship after about a year of this I cut contact completely after yet another text saying this and i replied back saying "goodybye then" I hadnt heard from him for years untill last week when he messaged me on facebook then asked for my number as hed changed his which i didnt give him as it moved on and gotten over him
cutting all ties is often for the best and you can move on and be friends in future when its not so raw
cutting all ties is often for the best and you can move on and be friends in future when its not so raw
xeilidhx
Gold Member
Thanks Ellie- I don't feel like he's attention seekin cause he doesn't see what he's become. It's me doing the worrying. When he's texting it's just chatty too.
I'm just gutted. I realise how mch time I spend with him and filling that's a nightmare. It's just a wee 10 min phone all here, a wee chat there- it makes me feel so lonely that he's not there for it.
I'm just gutted. I realise how mch time I spend with him and filling that's a nightmare. It's just a wee 10 min phone all here, a wee chat there- it makes me feel so lonely that he's not there for it.
xeilidhx
Gold Member
Didn't call- result
Menu:
B: porridge
L: toast and cheese. Pickled onions (about 10)
Pack roast turkey
2l diet coke
Haven't eaten enough today. Have missed a starch meal and the fruit but not in the mood. Missed fruit yesterday too. Will improve! Can't be bothered gettig out of bed to eat an apple!!
Menu:
B: porridge
L: toast and cheese. Pickled onions (about 10)
Pack roast turkey
2l diet coke
Haven't eaten enough today. Have missed a starch meal and the fruit but not in the mood. Missed fruit yesterday too. Will improve! Can't be bothered gettig out of bed to eat an apple!!
alottolose
Gold Member
honest opinion:
he never added you to facebook before now - he's keeping tabs on what you're up to since he quit the relationship....from my experience it's classic behaviour of the push me-pull me type of bloke...sorry if you think this isn't the case, but perhaps you're not as impartial about this situation (too close) as is necessary to realise this
From experience this type of guy or indeed girl "Doesn't want you, Doesn't want anyone else to have you" They dangle themselves intermittently like a carrot on the end of a piece of string always staying slightly aloof and out of reach emotionally...
2 things - him knowing your every move sucks....he didn't want you...why should he know what you're up to...if he wants that...he KNOWS what to do...keep your life separate, if he wants insider knowledge that's his own look out....
and secondly, OMG sweetheart I've been there with access to my exes fb after a break up and it (pardon my french) f*cks with your head BIG TIME....every time they add a friend, make a comment...they're drawing you back into the flame and burning you each and every time....
for instance how are you gonna feel if he starts adding women you don't know? You don't need to see that, it would just be him rubbing your nose in it
there's another reason why I hate social media
disclaimer: I'm under the influence of several meds, out of my head with viruses and been burnt by relationships too many times then I'd like to remember...and seen my fair share of emotional vampires....take my advice with a grain of salt - I mean well and have no intent to cause offence, but can't stand to see people hung out to dry, held on the end of a fishing hook etc etc
If any of this helps I'm glad and if it doesn't I'm sorry and I'll shut up in future xxx
he never added you to facebook before now - he's keeping tabs on what you're up to since he quit the relationship....from my experience it's classic behaviour of the push me-pull me type of bloke...sorry if you think this isn't the case, but perhaps you're not as impartial about this situation (too close) as is necessary to realise this
From experience this type of guy or indeed girl "Doesn't want you, Doesn't want anyone else to have you" They dangle themselves intermittently like a carrot on the end of a piece of string always staying slightly aloof and out of reach emotionally...
2 things - him knowing your every move sucks....he didn't want you...why should he know what you're up to...if he wants that...he KNOWS what to do...keep your life separate, if he wants insider knowledge that's his own look out....
and secondly, OMG sweetheart I've been there with access to my exes fb after a break up and it (pardon my french) f*cks with your head BIG TIME....every time they add a friend, make a comment...they're drawing you back into the flame and burning you each and every time....
for instance how are you gonna feel if he starts adding women you don't know? You don't need to see that, it would just be him rubbing your nose in it
there's another reason why I hate social media
disclaimer: I'm under the influence of several meds, out of my head with viruses and been burnt by relationships too many times then I'd like to remember...and seen my fair share of emotional vampires
....take my advice with a grain of salt - I mean well and have no intent to cause offence, but can't stand to see people hung out to dry, held on the end of a fishing hook etc etcIf any of this helps I'm glad and if it doesn't I'm sorry and I'll shut up in future xxx
Paulinegin
Gold Member
Morning E
Happy new day, sweetheart. Thinking of you.
P x
Happy new day, sweetheart. Thinking of you.
P x
xeilidhx
Gold Member
Thanks lotto- it was something we talked about the other night as it used to be our main method of communication when not together but he shut his down (or was forced to) a while back. When we were having a heart to heart the other night I said it stressed me our that he had got rid as a. We talked on it and b. at times it was the only way I knew he was alive. So yesterday he added me to a new page, the old ones still dead and said he'd made it to stop me worrying so wouldn't be adding others. I'll play it by ear- it was me who brought it up initially so I can't really not accept!
Good sleep last night, feel better this morning but am exhausted generally don't feel so sick though, have spoken to his friend for a wee moan and am not textin him again. I know I'll need to see him but I think a few days to sort his head out would do us both good, so he can maybe tell me how he's really feeling when we meet to get our stuff sorted out and then I'll not be able to keep any false hope. That's my aim anyway.
Good sleep last night, feel better this morning but am exhausted generally
don't feel so sick though, have spoken to his friend for a wee moan and am not textin him again. I know I'll need to see him but I think a few days to sort his head out would do us both good, so he can maybe tell me how he's really feeling when we meet to get our stuff sorted out and then I'll not be able to keep any false hope. That's my aim anyway.
xeilidhx
Gold Member
Had a wee cry again today and spoke to a mutual friend who thinks he's trying to hide his feelings. Feel in my heart there's no chance for us as as you guys say even if he gets sorted out his issues re marriage and the future will make our futures incompatible. Wish he'd known earlier! Never mind. As I say, I'm gutted cause I've lost my best friend. I don't want to lose him as that. Today I've been between selling my house and moving away to get a fresh start and staying pals, and that's what i truly hope we can do.
Paulinegin
Gold Member
Hey sweetheart, another day done and dusted.
Don't make any big decisions at the moment, okay to think about them, just don't sign your life away whilst you're so vulnerable.
Hope you get some good, healing sleep tonight.
Much love
P x
Don't make any big decisions at the moment, okay to think about them, just don't sign your life away whilst you're so vulnerable.
Hope you get some good, healing sleep tonight.
Much love
P x
xeilidhx
Gold Member
Thanks guys. I haven't spoken to him at all. Longest ever I think spoken to his friend a fair bit tho to have a moan. First time this week I've eaten lunch and dinner. Forced the starch meal into myself tonight. Not been hungry at all. Food feels all I'm in control of- bad thoughts! Mum wants me signed off work as I keep breaking down but I think more time to think would be worse! X
spoken to his friend a fair bit tho to have a moan. First time this week I've eaten lunch and dinner. Forced the starch meal into myself tonight. Not been hungry at all. Food feels all I'm in control of- bad thoughts! Mum wants me signed off work as I keep breaking down but I think more time to think would be worse! X
Paulinegin
Gold Member
xeilidhx said:
Update to his pal ... he can stroll on, you'll be busy that night!!
High five to us
Xxx
