Ellie's musings on SW

ellierose988

Silver Member
Thought I might start up a little thing about my feelings and thoughts about how slimming world is working for me.

I started on January 5th, a Thursday, but I was nervous about weighing myself. My mum has always sort of got mad at me when I weighed myself because I always felt depressed afterwards, and that had sort of stuck with me, so originally I was saying I wouldn't weigh myself until I felt a physical difference. But then, I joined this forum on the sunday, and decided otherwise, because how else am I going to monitor how I'm doing, and know how much I've lost?

So I weighed myself that day, Sunday 8th. Now, Sundays will be my weigh days. (In case you haven't guessed, I haven't joined slimming world officially. I can't afford it. But I bought the books on ebay).

Technically I've been on the plan for 10 days, although didn't start the weighins and the forum part straightaway.

I've been really enjoying it so far. The only thing is I can't shake the cynical feeling - I can't help thinking, will I really lose weight? If anything I feel like I must have put on, I feel like I'm eating a lot, but I am following the plan 100% as far as I know, have been researching things I'm unsure of on here, and have only been eating until I'm full.

I've been getting tummy aches quite a bit since I started, well, about three or four days into it, which I think is down to the increased amount of fruit/veg I've been eating. Hopefully my body will get used to it soon as it's getting a bit annoying, although in a weird way I like it because it's showing me a physical sign that my diet has changed.

The fact I haven't weighed myself yet means that I'm still unsure how well the plan is working for me, but to be honest i'm enjoying it either way and already feel better about myself, which in turn means I carry myself better, with more confidence, therefore feel I may look better as well, which is always good.

SW has been a revelation to me. I've attempted "diets" in the past but they've always been a bit make-it-up-as-I-go-along or calorie-county which has never worked for me. Psychologically I feel like as soon as you deny yourself something, you want it more which makes you more likely to binge. This is why I love SW's ideals.

I was feeling guilty about the amount of wine I was putting away before but now I can have my 13 syns worth a day and not feel guilty at all.

I've also noticed that I've been almost repulsed by high fat foods... the idea of KFC, McDonalds or Dominos is gross to me, I'd rather cook myself up something tasty and syn-free.

I love cooking and experimenting with recipes.

In many ways SW is perfect for me - but we shall see if I'm feeling the same after my first WI tomorrow... hehe, I'm so glad I joined here though: I think that without this place I may have been disappointed if I stepped on the scales and only saw a pound loss, but now I feel like that is an accomplishment to be proud of. I saw that someone on here pointed out that a pound a week is still three stone a year loss. I want to lose around three stone and am happy for it to take a year!
 
Hi Ellierose, Very interesting points that you make. Glad you have been able to get to grips with SW routine and plenty of fruit and veg is bound to be much better for you.
I well know the feeling of being concerned about whether you will lose by this regime but plenty of people do so I am sure you will find it successful too.
All success to you ... :)
 
Thank you very much for your kind words and support :)
 
Just had my first weigh-in and I lost 3 pounds so feeling very happy and positive.
 
My appetite has seriously decreased. It had yesterday as well. I don't know if it's to do with SW - part of me thinks it could be some kind of psychological effect, perhaps the thought that I can eat lots is automatically making me not need/want to. Or it could just be me, I've found this before SW, I just have days where I'm not feeling food at all.

I feel sort of guilty today because I haven't had lots of fruit and veg like I have been trying to since I started, but the main thing about SW seems to be eat until you're full, and I feel full... or at least, not hungry. And it seems pointless to randomly eat an apple or something when I don't want to.

Hmm.
 
Thank you!

Had awful abdominal pain today but it seems to have gone now. Was sort of like period pain but I don't have them as on the mini pill. Sometimes get symptoms still though so it might have just been that.

Going well again today. Aiming for 5 syns a day atm as going out Saturday and would like to have some lovely alcohol with my friends. The way I see it is if I have 5 syns a day this week, I'm still sticking to the plan, but technically I have 10 to spare each day to save for saturday, so it's sort of a compromise between flexi-syn and saving syns. won't be doing this every week obviously.

Feeling positive today.
 
Mad at myself about last night. I'd intended on flexisynning some alcohol for a night out for a friend's birthday but I drank much too much, got stupidly drunk. Been embarrassed, hungover and regretful all day today. Not even sure what I had altogether so can't work out syns. just got to put it past me and move on to a better day and a better week. At least it happened early on in the week so I have plenty of time to make up for it before weigh in on sunday. Superspeed foods for me, and some alka seltzers today. ha.

Pleased with myself with regards to food last night though, went to smith and western and I'd studied the menu beforehand. I got sirloin steak (grilled) with a jacket potato (no butter), a grilled tomato and plenty of lovely salad with no dressing (which I asked for instead of coleslaw). Lovely meal that was almost syn free. I assume they probably put some oil or something on the steak so probably not totally free but a lot better than a burger and chips would've been. :)
 
On further reflection, I'm actually quite glad that Tuesday night happened. It's genuinely really put me off alcohol. I know everyone says that when they have a bad night, but I seriously feel like I want to give it a rest for a while. I know most people did no-booze january but I might do it for Feb.

I feel sort of free! I can now use my syns for other stuff, I can drive to pubs and stuff, save money.

I had some problems with depression a couple of years ago and it's been creeping back for a few months. I've been in denial about it, but today after a particularly odd and terrible day at work I finally bit the bullet and made an appointment. The doctor was lovely and is going to arrange some counselling for me. I am going back on meds but only half dosage and it's a different one that I was on before, apparently a calmer one. I asked about possible effects it might have on my weight and she said none at all. Even if it does affect my appetite, on SW that doesn't really matter because I can just have some free/superfree stuff if I'm hungry.

I feel like tomorrow is the start of a new me. I'm looking forward to a fresh start.
 
Hi ellie,
Well done on you losses so far, your doing really well! Good on you for making that appointment at docs and taking steps to making a better future for yourself. I have also suffered from depression in the past so I know how hard it is to deal with that and battle with diets too. It made me go around in circles with my weight and was also very relieved when I got the help I needed, counciling and tabs.
Will be popping in now and again, to see how your getting on :) Keep going, you will be at goal in now time :) xx
 
Glad to hear you are going to get some help with those depressions...horrible stuff to deal with I know, as I have been a life time sufferer myself. As I always say, it is rather like an alcholic, we have to take one day at a time and steer clear of those things that we know may well trigger off another bout. It never goes away but I have just learnt how to deal with it and to recognise the signs of another downer.

However, sound like you are doing very well so far. Keep up the good work..:)
 
Hi Ellie,

Popped in to see how you are getting on, you are a great contributor to the forum!

Sorry to hear about your depression but you have absolutely done the right thing in taking steps towards beating it. I suffered from depression quite badly after having 2 miscarriages in 2009- it was the hardest thing I've ever been through. But I'm through it now and a better person for it. Funnily enough I LOST weight with my depression, it's happiness that makes me fat :confused:
 
Thanks so much Jez, that means a lot!

so sorry to hear about your troubles, but it sounds like you've got a great attitude about overcoming it.

Been on some meds for over a week now, but only a half dose as I expressed to my doctor I was a bit nervous about going back on them. However I don't feel like they're making any difference so far, I've had some pretty low days recently. :( Still, looking forward, going back to the docs next week so will express my concerns then. She also said she'd try and get me some counselling which I think will really help!

Really enjoying SW though, I think if I didn't have this, and this forum I'd be much worse. There's something about taking control over my food intake and feeling part of a group that really makes a difference!
 
I really benefited from counselling. I don't know if you been before, when I went I was convinced it was a load of tosh! My counsellor had me doing all sorts of mad crap- drawing pictures, writing down my feelings and planting them. It was all very odd. Then one day I was planting some pages out of my diary and my 4 year old niece was helping; she asked what we were doing and I told her that I was burying some of my bad thoughts and she asked, as only a child could, "So something pretty will grow from them?". It summed the whole thing up for me and I enjoyed and benefited from the counselling from that point forward.

As for medication, I stayed away from that side of things (apart from sleeping tablets) so i can't offer much advice there. You sound as if you know what you are doing though.

While I'm here, may aswell add a bit of love to the proceedings:
brad_pitt_01.jpg


Always cheers me up :D
 
Loving the Brad :)

Just wanted to post about how happy and positive I'm feeling about SW at the moment. Just got back from a meal at the chinese, and yet again I've been able to have a meal out and come out of it knowing I've had a small amount of syns, been good and really enjoyed myself. I only had 10 syns, asked for extra salad and chow mein with soy sauce instead of oil (but still didn't go mental on it) and feel nicely full without feeling bloated or gross. I still have enough syns left for the week to have some wine. I really feel like I've cracked this whole weightloss business. I feel on top of the world with it, like there's nothing to stop me from losing this weight. Just wanted to gush a bit. And I really couldn't feel like this without this place. Big squishy hugs. :D
 
Aw that's great- you should be REALLY pleased with yourself.

:happy096:
 
Having a terrible day depression-wise which is such a shame because I was feeling really good yesterday and starting to think my meds were starting to work. Today feels like a total undoing.

I STS last week (weighed yesterday) and I know that logically it's fine, it was deserved, I've had good losses and at least it wasn't a gain. But I do feel really bad, like I've let myself down. Just feeling sorry for myself today.

On the plus side it has really spurred me on to be extra good this week. Went on a shop and got lots of good speed foods and stuff and am feeling positive about it. Just hope the rest of my brain catches up with my positivity.
 
Chin up Kiddo. Anything we can help with?
 
Thanks :)

No, it's really all in my head. That's the most frustrating thing! I know it's all me and I just can't "snap out of it"! but I do feel a lot better today. I just had some magic pancakes which were delicious. :)
 
Feeling really uber uber positive about things atm. The medication is starting to work (been on full dosage for two weeks now, up from the half dose), but it's not all that. I've also got an appointment next Friday for an assessment to start CBT and counselling which I'm really looking forward to. Just can't wait to get my head sorted and think more positively.

Put a pound on last week but it was deserved, and I'm glad it wasn't more. I had a nice time with friends having lunch of doughballs and pizza tee hee. And that pound gain has really spurred me on to get back to the plan. Being on SW for only 9 weeks - it's incredible, feels like forever. Although I did enjoy the pizza and doughballs, it was almost a relief to get back on track and feel in control of my eating.

Have really upped my water intake (well I drink NAS orange squash, but a very weak dilution) and am drinking 3 cups of green tea a day. I'm weeing loads. Haha. It feels like it's going to really help.

The only thing that's getting to me a tad atm is my motivation to a) write and b) exercise. I go to work, I eat well, but when I get home I just want to sleep. That's the only symptom currently of my depression. I need to just give myself a bit of a kick and get this writing done (it's for a competition, the deadline's the end of this month) and get on my wii and do wii fit, just dance and my new zumba game (bought today).

In general, really happy.
 
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