Emotional Eaters... Any Advice?

[Smiley_Cat]

Lol! I'm sure it will be a best-seller! Certainly on this thread anyway.

You must feel so wonderful - finding that, for once, the automatic response isn't a negative one, but a positive one. That is so great.

Keep it up!

Cx

 

[Serena A]

Thank you, thank you.. *bows*

Sad to say there's no secret hahah.. hoping this will stay with me forever though. If I ever find out what caused it I will be sure to write a detailed guide on how to find // trigger it

xx

Chuck a copy over here when you're done...I'll publish your guide for you - for a nominal fee of course

Sorry you've been feeling bad hunni but well done on being as strong as ever xxx

 

[edibeedee]

Way to go Lotris. That is the stuff that shows that you are making this a lifestyle. I am striving for that also. Good work chickie.
edi

 

[Katycakes]

Well done Lostris... working up the steps is always going to be the toughest bit. Maybe there is no secret, but it's a huge achievement - breaking the pattern - and making a new one!!! So proud of you, we are rooting for you!!!
xxx

 

[Lostris]

Awww thanks guys. This really means a lot <3 Will be sure to keep you all updated on my progress and to share any bright moments I may have ;-)

It took a while for me to realise this though, seriously weird.

@ Smiley_Cat; Yes it is a nice feeling, once I've realised it that is hahah. It took a while to sink in.. strange enough :'). I guess if something has been a habit for a long time it's strange when it isn't there anymore.

@ Serena: Thanks hon, I will be sure to make use of your publishing offer ;-)

@ edibeedee: Thanks for the congrats I'm sure you can get there too, you're doing so well!!

@ Katycakes: thanks so much for your kind words! They mean a lot and inspire me to do well

Thanks everyone for the lovely responses,

xxx

 

[KD]

So pleased for you Lostris :clap:

Remember, every time you do this, the better you'll get at it. Learning new habits and all that and reconnecting the ol' brain wires

Well done

 

[Lostris]

So pleased for you Lostris :clap:

Remember, every time you do this, the better you'll get at it. Learning new habits and all that and reconnecting the ol' brain wires

Well done

Thanks KD

I hadn't had an emotional-eating moment since I started CD but going up the steps does bring a lot of feelings back etc. In a way, for me, being fat was ''safe''... and now.. I'm not fat anymore and it worries me, not concerning health or anything I know that's good, I just don't feel as safe as I did before. Probably doesn't make a lot of sense but the not-fat-ness is quite scary haha.

You guys'd better be careful though; I might get arrogant with all of you paying me so many compliments

 

[Smiley_Cat]

Thanks KD
I hadn't had an emotional-eating moment since I started CD ...

Wow, that's impressive! CD was an emotional minefield for me when I started it...though I suppose in a good way as it has helped highlight how often I think/run/sprint to food when my emotions get the better of me.

Thanks KD
... but going up the steps does bring a lot of feelings back etc. In a way, for me, being fat was ''safe''... and now.. I'm not fat anymore and it worries me, not concerning health or anything I know that's good, I just don't feel as safe as I did before. Probably doesn't make a lot of sense but the not-fat-ness is quite scary haha.

That's interesting. People say that that can be an issue. I always have wondered if that's really true, and here you are feeling it yourself.

Safety is such a big thing - in many regards. Don't let any fear of a lack of that feeling of safety get to you. Find something else to make you feel safe....sadly I have no ideas as to how to do that, but I'd be keen to hear what others might suggest on the subject generally or on the ideas.

You guys'd better be careful though; I might get arrogant with all of you paying me so many compliments

Hahaha! Noted! We shall keep our compliments to a measured pace

Cx

 

[KD]

Thanks KD

I hadn't had an emotional-eating moment since I started CD but going up the steps does bring a lot of feelings back etc.

Yeah, I remember crying a lot during those weeks

In a way, for me, being fat was ''safe''... and now.. I'm not fat anymore and it worries me, not concerning health or anything I know that's good, I just don't feel as safe as I did before.

I know what you mean. I so many feelings that I couldn't understand. I was happy to have lost the weight, but at the same time, felt very guilty about the more negative feelings that cropped up. Hard to explain really.

I was very scared though. Scared I might lose the plot, scared of not knowing how a thin person lives, scared of not being able to live the dream, scared that more would now be expected of me. But most of all, scared that I wouldn't be able to binge again...(which I did BTW), but knew that I would have to find another outlet..forever.

It was the 'forever' that frightened me the most.

When I had maintained for a year, I put a message up on here, and whilst people replied congratulating me, I sat and sobbed for about 4 hours

All sounds so daft now, and I think that my reaction to getting to goal/maintaining was probably extreme compared to most, but perhaps it has to do with my age/how long I had lived with the problem.

Or maybe I'm just a nutter

.

But OMG, it's been so worth it. I don't regret one moment of working through the plans and sorting out the eating problem once and for all.

 

[Porgeous]

Yeah, I remember crying a lot during those weeks

I know what you mean. I so many feelings that I couldn't understand. I was happy to have lost the weight, but at the same time, felt very guilty about the more negative feelings that cropped up. Hard to explain really.

I was very scared though. Scared I might lose the plot, scared of not knowing how a thin person lives, scared of not being able to live the dream, scared that more would now be expected of me. But most of all, scared that I wouldn't be able to binge again...(which I did BTW), but knew that I would have to find another outlet..forever.

It was the 'forever' that frightened me the most.

When I had maintained for a year, I put a message up on here, and whilst people replied congratulating me, I sat and sobbed for about 4 hours

All sounds so daft now, and I think that my reaction to getting to goal/maintaining was probably extreme compared to most, but perhaps it has to do with my age/how long I had lived with the problem.

Or maybe I'm just a nutter

.

But OMG, it's been so worth it. I don't regret one moment of working through the plans and sorting out the eating problem once and for all.

Still here and reading with interest, nowt much to contribute at the moment but wanted to say brilliant post KD you always know how to put my thoughts into words

 

[Kira]

Ladies thanks for you response to my confessional post earlier this week. I'm afraid I am still stuck. Managed a full day 1 on CD and I am simply stuck. I seem to be self sabotaging. I was up at 5 this morning going over the post I had printed off in this thread) but I find I am overwhelmed with fear. Fear of failing so what's the point in trying attitude is what I struggling with now. Also dawned on me prior to my initial success with CD in the summer I accept I was not only and emotional eater but a secret eater. I have again started to eat in secret from my husband and even the kids! anyone else with these symptons? Don't get me wrong, I am going to keep trying to stick to CD until I crack it again. I know once I get back on CD I will be manage to shed some weight but right now I find myself in a vicious circle I need to break. Thanks to all your posts and support I feel I can keep trying without being judged.

 

[Katycakes]

Kira, I'm sure I am not the only one who identifies with your post. When I binge, it is always in secret and always shameful for that reason... in secret you go much further than you ever would in front of your loved ones. I suppose I didn't want them to judge me! By admitting to what I had been doing I got the problem out in the open a bit but still a long way to go. I have been OK while on CD ss but since yesterday have been adding in a green & white meal on advice of my cdc as I have a rotten cold... this means stepping back into the danger zone.
Have found it helpful to read up about emotional eating and compulsive eating in the meantime, it has given me some tactics & approaches to try.
Just wanting to say you are NOT alone honey... I'm sure some of the more experienced CDers will be here with wise words and support very soon.
Hugs,
xxxx

 

[Serena A]

Hi Kira

I hope things are getting better for you.

I don't know whether this will help but you used the word restart (like most people do) in a previous post, however I think that "restart" has really negative connotations like having to start all over again etc.

Maybe try and think in terms of "resume" instead of "restart" i.e. you're just getting back to what you were doing previously, no big deal.

You know like if you're having one of those days where you have to literally drag yourself into work, and it feels like a big deal because it's the "start" of the day. 1pm and you go for your lunchbreak, then at 2pm you simply resume work again, you might heave a sigh but it's not too bad really. Now imagine coming back from lunch and instead of simply resuming your work you have all those first thing in the morning "start" feelings - you'd dread each afternoon. That's what I think the "restart" mindset does in relation to CD.

That probably makes no sense at all!! But anyway, stick with it hunni, like Katy said we are all here for you xx

 

[KD]

Fear of failing so what's the point in trying attitude is what I struggling with now. Also dawned on me prior to my initial success with CD in the summer I accept I was not only and emotional eater but a secret eater. I have again started to eat in secret from my husband and even the kids! anyone else with these symptons?

Yep. I never binged in front of anyone. God forbid. I overate in front of my nearest and dearest, but never binged. Way too embarrasing and I wouldn't expect them to understand.

I don't know whether this will help but you used the word restart (like most people do) in a previous post, however I think that "restart" has really negative connotations like having to start all over again etc.

Good one again Serena.

I refer to it as a pause. Imagine you are going up a rocky mountain. There's a great view at the top and you so want to get up there to see it.

You trip up on some of the rocks on the way. You're not hurt, just feel a little silly for not noticing them and falling.

Now, what many dieters do, is turn right around and make their way back to the bottom of the mountain, ready to try again another day.

But of course, you wouldn't do that just because you slipped on a rock? You'd stop, hold on tight..have a small rest, then continue your journey. No point in dwelling on it...off again looking forward to that beautiful view. Learn from it, and move on.

There is nothing stopping you from moving on up except yourself. Your disbelief that you can do it.

You're not in a vicious circle. You are chosing each time to fall off. I know that sounds really harsh and you probably think I don't understand, but I do! Rather like that slippery slope people talk about. It doesn't exsist. Every time you fall off the wagon, you are making a brand new choice to do so for whatever reason.

Dieters are absolutely fantastic at justifying why they need to eat more than they should. We're masters at it. Find out why you feel that eating whatever is a better choice than staying on the diet. Question yourself. Try not to move into it mindlessly. After all, if you are chosing to eat rather than be slim, you should make sure you know exactly why it's the better option. Know what I mean?

 

[Lostris]

Wow, that's impressive! CD was an emotional minefield for me when I started it...though I suppose in a good way as it has helped highlight how often I think/run/sprint to food when my emotions get the better of me.

That's interesting. People say that that can be an issue. I always have wondered if that's really true, and here you are feeling it yourself.

Safety is such a big thing - in many regards. Don't let any fear of a lack of that feeling of safety get to you. Find something else to make you feel safe....sadly I have no ideas as to how to do that, but I'd be keen to hear what others might suggest on the subject generally or on the ideas.

Hahaha! Noted! We shall keep our compliments to a measured pace

Cx

Hi C!

It's weird isn't it... I expected to have a lot of trouble with CD coz I wouldnt have food etc etc. but I find dealing with some major issues during CD has really helped me to where I am now. I have had weak moments, moments where I felt so fat, sad, lonely and miserable but I didn't eat. Looking back, those were huge achievements.

I bought new clothes today and feel very beautiful looking skinny like I do haha.. but still, I feel less safe coz the bad that happened in my life happened when I was skinny....... Sooooooo complex, how my brain works. But I'm working on it. I will feel safe as a skinny person, till then I'll just be a quieter, more shy skinny person.

Might start studying some fighting sport

xx

Yeah, I remember crying a lot during those weeks

I know what you mean. I so many feelings that I couldn't understand. I was happy to have lost the weight, but at the same time, felt very guilty about the more negative feelings that cropped up. Hard to explain really.

I was very scared though. Scared I might lose the plot, scared of not knowing how a thin person lives, scared of not being able to live the dream, scared that more would now be expected of me. But most of all, scared that I wouldn't be able to binge again...(which I did BTW), but knew that I would have to find another outlet..forever.

It was the 'forever' that frightened me the most.

When I had maintained for a year, I put a message up on here, and whilst people replied congratulating me, I sat and sobbed for about 4 hours

All sounds so daft now, and I think that my reaction to getting to goal/maintaining was probably extreme compared to most, but perhaps it has to do with my age/how long I had lived with the problem.

Or maybe I'm just a nutter

.

But OMG, it's been so worth it. I don't regret one moment of working through the plans and sorting out the eating problem once and for all.

I agree about it being hard to explain, it's a feeling and... well, it's very complex isn't it haha.

I am very scared too; I never want to be fat again and I'm so scared I'll lose it and be 35kg heavier again. Not like I ever could in a day (in which time I hope to realise I'm messing up) but, still..... scaared, worriedddddd!! I feel okay at the moment but I really have moments of panic ;-).

The part about sobbing for 4 hours sounds like something I'd do hahah. I can totally understand that

I will strive to do as well as you did, KD, and maintain (or well, lose a bit more and then maintain) forever ;-)

xxxx

 

[Smiley_Cat]

Serena, your 'resume' idea is brilliant....and KD - that climbing a mountain and slipping on a rock analogy is perfect.

As you guys who have been reading this know, i've had to come off SS as I'm having surgery on Monday. I was dreading it completely and ended up binging while I was still able to do SS. Silly me!

Thing is, now I've been eating food - and doing very well at it. I can't say that I'm following the plan completely perfectly, but I'd say I'm eating healthier than I was before I started CD.

It is as though I am savouring food for all its goodness, and because I'm conscious that I don't want to cause myself too much damage by going overboard, I'm much more _aware_ of what I'm eating. And it is lovely!

I know I'll only need to be doing this for 3 more weeks, and then I can go back - resume! - SS, and I've worked out with my CDC that following it to the letter will still allow me to reach my goal on time, even with this 'break'.

Perhaps this enforced lapse from SS will help me to appreaciate the success I had on it before - goodness knows I'm looking forward to getting back on it!

I never would have thought - certainly didn't think - when I was dreading going to 1200 that I'd feel like I do now. It is so strange!

This diet sure keeps me on my toes!!

Cx

 

[Katycakes]

I've been thinking about what Lostris said about being a bit scared of being slim again, because it brings up difficult stuff for her... I guess we are all hiding from something! I know Lostris that you'll work it out and find your confidence and courage and love of life as a skinny gal just as you did when you were bigger. It's the same you after all... and you will never have to hide again or try to disguise the person you really are. Hope you've had some help to work around those issues but I'm guessing you have as you've done so, so well...
I couldn't help noticing your signature icon Lostris, a beautiful manga gal with a veil that she looks as if she might pull down to protect herself at any moment. One day soon you won't need that veil any more. My icon is a bit like that too... half my face hidden... and I do wear my hair like that... the oldest emo in town?!!! And Smiley's icon is upbeat and happy but part of her face is missing... and Serena was really upfront and open but then changed hers to a growly dog...!!! Serena, you are kind and caring and endlessly patient, I don't get the growly dog thing!
Just gone off at a tangent but it's interesting how many of us are hiding somehow... I look at the girls who post their latest photos and envy them so much. Then again, I guess there's safety in a manga icon when you are looking at difficult stuff as we are!

Kira, hang on in there honey, you can do this. You can make a choice to succeed... don't let the chaos of life scupper you. Take control... you're worth it!

Just wanted to say Smiley, good luck for the op, will be thinking about you on Monday & wishing you well, let us know how you get on. Hugs.
xxx

 

[Lostris]

I've been thinking about what Lostris said about being a bit scared of being slim again, because it brings up difficult stuff for her... I guess we are all hiding from something! I know Lostris that you'll work it out and find your confidence and courage and love of life as a skinny gal just as you did when you were bigger. It's the same you after all... and you will never have to hide again or try to disguise the person you really are. Hope you've had some help to work around those issues but I'm guessing you have as you've done so, so well...
I couldn't help noticing your signature icon Lostris, a beautiful manga gal with a veil that she looks as if she might pull down to protect herself at any moment. One day soon you won't need that veil any more. My icon is a bit like that too... half my face hidden... and I do wear my hair like that... the oldest emo in town?!!! And Smiley's icon is upbeat and happy but part of her face is missing... and Serena was really upfront and open but then changed hers to a growly dog...!!! Serena, you are kind and caring and endlessly patient, I don't get the growly dog thing!
Just gone off at a tangent but it's interesting how many of us are hiding somehow... I look at the girls who post their latest photos and envy them so much. Then again, I guess there's safety in a manga icon when you are looking at difficult stuff as we are!

Kira, hang on in there honey, you can do this. You can make a choice to succeed... don't let the chaos of life scupper you. Take control... you're worth it!

Just wanted to say Smiley, good luck for the op, will be thinking about you on Monday & wishing you well, let us know how you get on. Hugs.
xxx

Hi Cakes <3

Thanks for your sweet reply. I have had a lot of help working around my issies, psychologist, my best friend, my parents, sisters, my schoolfriends and my studentplace-roomies and yes, this forum too ;-) Everyone has helped me, lifted my spirits when I was close to giving up on it all. This whole thing made me notice how much people care about me and how far they'd go for me.

My mum got admitted into the hospital and my roomies asked if they had to get their parents car bring me there so I could see her. (It's a 2 hour drive there from studentplace and they had to be at uni very early next morning... yet they offered)

This manga girl really struck me. She's crying, though you can't see very well in icon (see pic below), and she has that veil to protect her somehow.

She can pull the veil over her eyes, face.. her head, to hide herself and protect herself. She can hide away her tears and make sure noone gets close enough to be able hurt her again. :wave_cry: She can hide her fear and her worries so noone sees.

Icons can have A LOT to say if they're given the time and incentive to speak. :sigh:

xxx

 

[Serena A]

As you guys who have been reading this know, i've had to come off SS as I'm having surgery on Monday.

Just wanted to say best wishes for Monday, hope all goes well and you have a speedy recovery. And well done with your healthy eating, it's all looking very good for when you rejoin us

Take care
xxx

 

[Serena A]

I couldn't help noticing your signature icon Lostris, a beautiful manga gal with a veil that she looks as if she might pull down to protect herself at any moment. One day soon you won't need that veil any more. My icon is a bit like that too... half my face hidden... and I do wear my hair like that... the oldest emo in town?!!! And Smiley's icon is upbeat and happy but part of her face is missing... and Serena was really upfront and open but then changed hers to a growly dog...!!! Serena, you are kind and caring and endlessly patient, I don't get the growly dog thing!

Hi Katy

Thank you for your very kind words and those are some very interesting observations about people's avatars! My first one was actually one I drew myself of a stick person inside a fat outline shouting "let me out!". Then it was growly dog, then I found some confidence and put my mugshot up, then I got bashful and went back to growlydog. It's actually my own dog Sammy who is an absolute soppy custard of an animal...she's actually yawning so that picture makes me laugh because she couldn't growl if she tried!

But yes there is a message behind it aswell, which is appearances can be deceptive. I've always put on a brave face regarding my weight and acted like it didn't bother me but in reality I was getting more and more depressed about it by the day, to the point where I became a bit reclusive and stopped going out unless I had to i.e. work, shopping and that was it. So glad I am getting my life back.