I hope I can be strong throughout my doing the steps up and that my emotions will not get the best of me, I feel very strong though and am confident I can do this!
Thanks so much for this thread, I don't post much but I do read it and it's given me some wonderful tips! I know everyone on here can overcome their emotional eating!! (If you haven't already done so) You're all very bright, strong and VERY determined.
First off - congratulations Lostris! You must be so pleased to be so close to your goal and feeling ready to take the big step towards reintroducing food again. You certainly sound like you have the perfect frame of mind for it, so I have no doubts you'll do just fine. Good luck anyway though, and please do keep in touch on here as we'll all learn much from your experiences
x
.... ex-husband issues flare up again and I let myself lose all control. Needless to say I have comfort eaten through the past several days (to the point of gluttony). Does anyone recognize these symptons? Bizarrely, I have got myself into running. Okay a gross exaggeration. I mean I have tried to jog/run albeit very slowly. Two runs during the week and over the weekend. I managed to run just over a mile this morning and planning to run tomorrow.
Yes, Kira, I think many of us recognise the symptoms. Issues come up and for whatever reasons we have deep inside, we punish ourselves - because that is what we're doing isn't it? Punishing ourselves. Afterall - if the issue is that we're upset at someone else, why do we do something that only makes us upset at ourselves? I know all too well that feeling unfortunately.
But I'm interested in what you said about running - you said 'Bizarrely'...and I can relate to that too. I'm never going to be a runner with my bad knees, but I have been powerwalking even when I have been off the rails food-wise.
But it is the choice of word (or in my case the feeling) that while we go off the rails with food, part of us can still be doing something else that is good for us. Yet we don't give ourselves credit for that do we? We use words like you did 'bizarrely', 'gross exaggeration', 'slowly'....and fact is, it is great no matter how much you're doing isn't it?
So not only are we punishing ourselves on the food front, but then we belittle our accomplishments. Argh! I see so much of myself in what you said and how you said it.
Since doing really well over Christmas/New Year, I've said i've 'gone off the rails' - but I haven't completely. In fact, with the stresses I'm facing over having to come off SS because of surgery I'm having next week, the doubts I've had about this ruining my chances of meeting my goal by June, stress at work trying to get everything done before I'm signed off, TOTM....I've done OK. At my WI on Saturday, I had stayed the same. And I was shocked. I'd had a couple binges, and been out boozing with friends for a birthday and works night out, and that isn't part of the plan. But all the while I was feeling as though I was 'off the rails' - i wasn't, not really. STS! Off the rails would be packing on 10lbs! And more important than the numbers on the scales was the realisation that I'd been beating myself up all week for failing, when I hadn't. Doh!
So I think there's definitely something in the way we talk to ourselves and about ourselves that gets us into trouble. I've never been much of a positive thinker (about myself) but something has changed. I may still not be able to be overtly positive about what I can do, but I'm starting at least to recognise what i'm doing that is setting myself up for failure. And I suppose recognising it is the first step to changing the negative behaviours.
Maybe that's a good reason for us all to stick to this thread - it forces us to put down 'on paper' how we're feeling or doing or what we're struggling with, and then we see through the eyes of others how we're thinking might be flawed. That - I hope - will help us see it for ourselves, first here, then in our everyday lives. Once we can recognise it, then we can change it.
And Katycakes is a perfect example of why this thread is so important to many of us....
... we learned the pattern long ago and breaking it doesn't happen overnight. (It didn't establish itself overnight, after all). That doesn't mean we can't break it, but it's not as easy as reading a book or getting a lightbulb moment from reading something on the forum... I guess KD has been saying that. I didn't want to accept it at first but the sense of it does start to sink in eventually!
I think people who have successfully beaten this like KD & Porgeous & Serena have focused on building new patterns and making them the norm... focusing on whatever works.
...I think your running is AMAZING... am so proud of you! It could be more important than you think, after all you are setting up a new habit/pattern there, one that will make you feel good, make you fit, and maybe help with the emotional turmoil as well.
...
Please don't be so hard on yourself, you have come so far and are still on the journey, and you're staying on it in spite of the setbacks... give yourself some credit for that. You can beat this.
xxx
Great insights Katycakes
Good luck to all of us...and thank you all for keeping this thread alive. I've struggled the past two weeks, and (typical for me!) I've withdrawn, even from this. But I'm back and determined to stay on the rails
Cxx
