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Enough is enough

Miss Scarlett Blue

Silver Member
S: 21st11lb C: 18st2lb G: 11st10lb BMI: 41 Loss: 3st9lb(16.72%)
I started on here at pretty much an identical weight in January having been in denial and full of excuses for too long. I’m now 48lbs lighter and determined to keep going. I’ve spent a lot of time finding food and recipes I know I’ll enjoy so I won’t feel I’m missing out or as likely to cheat. I felt overwhelmed at the start as I have so much I need to lose, so I’ve broken it down into mini targets and I also got a lot of inspiration on here reading other peoples diaries, particularly those who started at my weight or more and have successfully lost.

You’ve made the first step by deciding enough is enough. I wish you the very best of luck.
 
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Dolly Rocker

Gold Member
S: 16st11lb C: 13st0lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 30.3 Loss: 3st11lb(22.55%)
Welcome and good luck.

You can do this.

What plan are you going to follow?
 
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eeo

Member
So, day 1 was good. They usually are. Kept myself busy. Planned my meals for the week ahead, went grocery shopping (only bought items on my shopping list. Yay me!). Did some meal prep. Mood is good. Overall, a good start.
 

Dolly Rocker

Gold Member
S: 16st11lb C: 13st0lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 30.3 Loss: 3st11lb(22.55%)
Well done on getting your first day under your belt.

It's always good to be prepared for the week ahead.

Keep it up and you will see results in no time.
 
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eeo

Member
Day 2. All good on the food front. No cravings just yet. I wish I could just eat some blah meals all the time, and not desire variety in taste, smell, texture, etc. Food from a tube, get everything you need, and move on. No need to spend time on planning, shopping or prepping. Turning tastebuds on and off might also be awesome.

Finished playing Assassin's Creed Black Flag, loved it. It's a good way to keep my mind occupied, among other things.

Mood is restless, though. I keep wanting to move to a new place, but there's nothing wrong with my current one. So, basically, it's just my brain's way of trying to escape the current situation, and get constant stimulation while knowing all along it'll never last. Dear brain, what gives?
 
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eeo

Member
I have to find something to motivate me to lose weight. Being healthier is not it. Being liked by others is not it. Fitting into pretty clothes is not it. Finding love is not it. Being happy is not it either. I've lost weight and gained it all back numerous times because there's really nothing to do it for. Nothing changes, so why go through it over and over and over again? What's it all for? Seeing the progress, enjoying the success of it, making the puzzle pieces fit perfectly? Food for thought.
 

eeo

Member
I've got it. Because it feels good to give my body exactly what it needs. Not to deprive it of anything, not to fill it with more than is needed. That's exactly why I should eat good healthy food, feel good in my body, be in sound mind, and not ruin it with excess food that gives me nothing substantial. I can work with this.
 
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Dolly Rocker

Gold Member
S: 16st11lb C: 13st0lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 30.3 Loss: 3st11lb(22.55%)
You seem to be getting into the right frame of mind which is good, you are totally right that we are not doing this for other but for our own health and state of mind.

You can do this, just keep the focus daily and come on here as much as you can.
 
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eeo

Member
Day 3. Followed my meal plan, no surprises there. However, I did try a new Calcium powder supplement drink mix, and it was nasty!

Have a slight headache. It was to be expected, I'm eating less calories and carbs now. It should be getting better in a few days. I'm drinking plenty of water, but my body needs some time to adjust.

I should really reset my sleeping pattern. I've been going to bed at 3-4 AM, watching Netflix and YouTube, and waking up at noon. It's not really a problem, but it's better to have a set structure, eat my meals during 8 AM - 8 PM, and get to bed before midnight. Otherwise I know it will start affecting my eating habits in the future. It's much easier to binge at night when feeling lonely, tired or bored. It's not physical hunger, that's for sure.
 

eeo

Member
Day 4. Followed my meal plan. It's always easy at first. But I know it will get harder to fight the urge to binge when boredom starts to set in, usually a month or two into following the plan. So far it's like I don't have any problems with food, no cravings, no urges to binge whatsoever. Such a relief, even if it is for only a short while.

I also visited my parents and mom bought me chocolates. Even though she knows that I've restarted my meal plan this week. Even though I've been telling her for years, and years, and years not to buy me anything I haven't asked for. She's a good person, but she's in complete denial that she's sabotaging me. I visit my parents several times a week, so it's not as if we haven't seen each other for a long time. She just went shopping and got chocolates. She doesn't eat chocolates herself. I've given up on her already, she has her own issues to figure out and deal with. But it still sucks not to have any family support. Just let me do my own thing. I don't think I'm asking too much.

So, now I have chocolates that I don't intend to eat today. I am going to eat them at some point as cheat meal (my meal plan allows it once a week), but I don't feel like it today. It would be easy to throw or give them away, but real world has chocolates in it. My goal is to enjoy my life with everything it has to offer in moderation, not binge on food, not use it as an excuse to not follow my healthy meal plan anymore, and not let it sidetrack me from following things through. Enough is enough.
 
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Dolly Rocker

Gold Member
S: 16st11lb C: 13st0lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 30.3 Loss: 3st11lb(22.55%)
Well done on resisting the chocolates, my Mum is also a feeder so I know exactly how you feel.
 
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eeo

Member
Day 6. Planned next week's menu, did some grocery shopping. Kept myself busy. Feels good.

Sleeping pattern is still not getting better, though. Went driving late last night, and then played some video games all the while knowing I had to get up early. Why do I sabotage myself like this? It's not causing any problems yet, but I know that it will all accumulate and I'll end up stuffing my face some day.
 

eeo

Member
Well done on resisting the chocolates, my Mum is also a feeder so I know exactly how you feel.
Thanks! It's funny though. Knowing that I have them, but I'm not going to touch them feels really empowering. It's not a huge internal battle, it's not like I'm drooling over them like crazy. I guess that's how 'normal' people feel about food. I've done this before where I've resisted the urge to binge, and the sense of pride in that feels great. However, the downside is that when things get bad, I eat double or even triple the amount, or for months on end. Like an alcoholic who's fallen off the wagon. It's just something I have to work on. Emotional eating is tough.
 

Dolly Rocker

Gold Member
S: 16st11lb C: 13st0lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 30.3 Loss: 3st11lb(22.55%)
Oh I'm the same. When I'm good I'm really good but when I go on a binge it is totally ridiculous!

I used to be terrible for secret eating aswell to try and hide it from people even though the result of that which is the flab I'm carrying around is very clear for people to see.
 
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eeo

Member
Day 7. Oh hey, it's weigh day. Current weight 294.7 lb. 11 lb lost. Good first week.

Did some cooking today, meal prep for a couple of days. Mood is good.
 




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