Eyes on the Prize

[Jié Xī]

Self-discipline is hard enough for the average dieter when the brownie looms before you right now and reaching you weight loss goal is still months away, let alone the dieter with ADHD where your mind literally doesn't hold on to the reason you want to lose weight in the first place and can only see the answer to its current dopamine deficiency in the form of chocolatey gooeyness.

That probably sounds stupid. How can a person forget why they want to lose weight? The answer of course is to look nice in (or out of) clothes. But why? When the brownie is calling . . . who cares you're a size 8 or squishing into a size 14. Does it even matter? At least with me, and my unmedicated ADHD, I completely forget that it's because I want to FEEL good and confident when I'm talking to people. The person I'm talking to probably doesn't care if I'm a size 14 or a size 8, but I do. I have more self-assurance, present my ideas with more confidence, and speak with more authority, when I FEEL that I look good (ie. when I don't have squishy bits popping out all over my silhouette).

So, I did something last week that I've told myself to do for months (years)? I made a vision board that includes various outfits from my capsule wardrobe Pinterest board AND the YouTube and TikTok logo — to remind myself why I want to FEEL confident (not just in front of the camera but when I spend hours editing myself). I even added a dumbbell to remind myself to work out.

And today, I actually printed out the vision board and put one copy on the fridge and one copy on the inside door of the food cabinet. Hopefully this helps my unmedicated ADHD brain to remember my why. Eyes on the Prize.

 

[Jié Xī]

MEAL PLANNING

Last week, I came up with a minimalist meal plan. (I've been on a minimalist journey for a few years now and have finally purged enough from my house, my schedule, and shopping to see the effect.) A minimalist food plan is basically choosing a set amount of days (I choose 14) and scheduling the same meals for those 14 days. This takes out thinking about to eat and thinking about what ingredients to buy. I choose our favorites, of course, those go-to meals that we end up eating most anyway. And then . . . I tweaked for what I would eat while dieting vs what I would eat while maintaining. This is probably the BIGGEST change I've made from all previous diets to this one.

On previous diets, I ate diet food while the rest of my family ate real food. I was guaranteed to lose weight during the week but then would eat (overeat) real food on the weekends and put most (if not all) the weight back on. Repeat for 30 years. This time around, I am eating real food.

I'm sort of doing 5:2 and sorta doing OMAD. I'm not a purist on either. I like the concept of 5:2 weight maintenance. I've found that eating 800 calories 2x a week isn't that hard when you can eat whatever the other days. I've already tried this and can maintain my weight on it. So now I simply have to lose weight and can then use 5:2 to maintain. I'm using OMAD to to lose weight. Except that I drink coffee with creamer for breakfast and drink coffee with flavored creamer for lunch. I don't feel deprived as long as I can have my coffee. For dinner, I will eat smaller portions of whatever the family is eating, or, if I don't care for what they are eating or what they are eating is a trigger food, I will have a soup version of it.

EXAMPLE:

Monday — Italian Meatball Soup (Family eats Pasta & Meatballs, a trigger food)
Tuesday — Fish and Veggies
Wednesday — BBQ Chicken & Mac-n-Cheese
Thursday — Zesty Sante Fe Soup (Family eats Mexican Chicken & Rice, I don't care for rice)
Fri — 1/2 Ultra Thin Crust Pizza (satisfies the urge to order takeout)
Sat — 1/2 Ultra Thin Crust Pizza (satisfies the urge to order takeout)
Sun — Orange Chicken and (satisfies the urge to order takeout)

When I reach goal, the only thing that changes with this meal plan is slightly larger portions and adding dinner rolls or garlic bread. This way, nothing drastically changes. Not the shopping, not the cooking, not the menu. (I used to eat protein bars, and protein shakes, and nasty low carb versions of things, and always felt deprived that I could never have pasta or a slice of bread).

So, am hoping that this qualifies as a major change, as in the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.

 

[Jié Xī]

DAILY LOG

Coffee (3)
Crackers (3 or 4)
Grapes and Cheese
Italian Meatball Soup
Popcorn
Chocolate (90% Cocoa)

Was rather tempted by the boys' crackers, but ate less of them than usual. Stared at the pictures on the fridge which helped talk myself out of peeking inside. And, didn't have any ice cream even when hubby and kids had theirs after supper. Not a bad start to the week. I lost 2 pounds last week. Am hoping for 2.5 this week to get under 170.

 

[Jié Xī]

ANNUAL TREAT PLANNING

Another thing I am doing differently this time around is scheduling out my treat weekends for the entire year. The biggest reason why I've lost and gained the same 12 pounds for the last 4 years is because I end up feeling deprived during the week and then eating too much on weekends, OR I manage to go a few weeks (including weekends) doing well on the diet, feel very deprived, and binge eat for a week or two. Either way, I am constantly undoing my weight loss. For 4 years.

So this time, I've treat planned for the entire year. Usually there is one weekend a month where I know I will want to indulge, either a birthday or a holiday, etc. So they are the weekends I can treat myself. But no other weekend. Delay, don't deny. So instead of this vague, I can't treat myself for this indeterminate time until I at least lose 10 pounds, and end up feeling deprived all the time and then binge, it's more like, wow, that sounds nice, oh good, I can eat that next weekend. (or two weeks from now, etc). Something like that. For example, last weekend my husband wanted Chinese takeout. I've been craving Chinese takeout for quite a while myself. But next weekend, we are going away and so that is when we will indulge. I stuck to plan last weekend and hopefully will stick to plan this weekend. And then, hopefully, I can eat Chinese without it turning into a full-fledged binge. Pizza and Chinese takeout are my biggest desires, so making low carb Orange Chicken on Sundays and having ultra thin crust pizza on Fridays and Saturdays helps keep the cravings at bay so I don't feel too deprived in the mean time. This should help with finances too, lol.

EXAMPLE:

June — Conference Weekend
July — Fourth of July Weekend
August — DS Birthday Weekend
September — Labor Day Weekend
October — Halloween Weekend
November — Thanksgiving Weekend
December — Christmas Weekend

 

[Jié Xī]

DAILY LOG

We were away all weekend, only to come back to celebrate FIL's birthday and DH/Father's Day. I didn't overeat/binge, but of course, it wasn't diet/low calorie. It was the monthly planned non-diet weekend though, and I did successfully jump right back on the bandwagon today.

I'm reading a book called Hello Habits and the author talks about the need to make your future reward BIGGER than the immediate reward for not eating. So to my vision board I've added a picture of my ultimate reward for meeting my financial/business goals: a log cabin ranch on a wooded lot with (hopefully) a mountain view. So, if I lose weight, I'll look good in a smart casual wardrobe which will give me more confidence to put myself out there more in my business which presumably will lead to more sales and ultimately to my being able to purchase my dream home.

 

[tipperary]

I like your philosophy but it really sounds like too much planning for me.. Maybe thats why i fail all the time

 

[Jié Xī]

I like your philosophy but it really sounds like too much planning for me.. Maybe thats why i fail all the time

I am definitely a planner. I like all the lists. My trouble is I can stay in planning mode for weeks (while snacking) and rarely ever get to the actual doing phase.

 

[Jié Xī]

So I've just ripped out the past 2 months of my Happy Planner weightloss journal since my weight did nothing buy yo-yo and I'm starting now (my birthday week) at the beginning when I was suppossed to be half way to goal. It was far too depressing having to keep flipping 2 months into the journal and yet still be where I was 2 months ago.

So, those pages are gone.

Starting fresh.

I also bough another planner but this one I'm using as a journal because the daily part is all lines. It's actually really cute and runs for one full year from my birthday. It has pages for pursuits and possibilities and this year's goals and three goals for each month. And on the very first page it says: This is my year to keep it all together. As unmedicated ADHDer, my New Year's resolution has always been to "get" it all together let alone keep it that way. But ever since I found out I was ADHD (only a few years ago), I've been putting systems in place that help me adult. Plus, after 5+ years of repeated purging, I have finally met my minimalism goals. So other than weight loss, this really is the year I can "keep" it all together due to all that hard work. I wish I could say I had nothing else to focus on except weight loss, but I've got a very hectic work schedule to get the business I launched last year really up and running. Plus, I'm teaching my littles.

So it is what it is. Life is hectic. But I'm not going to give up. Since I didn't lost 25 pounds by my birthday like I was suppossed to, I'm now trying to lost that 25 pounds by mid-September when we are going on holiday (what was when I was suppossed to be at goal). UGH!!!!!! So frustrating. Bleepity, bleep bleep. Okay. Enough. I ripped out those pages. I'm starting again. Just looking forward.

First step is to get out of the 170's.
Then under 166 (which is the lowest I've maintained for a while, my weight yo-yo's between 166 and 172).
Then 159.
Then 154.
Then 149.
Then hopefully 4-5 pounds under 149 so that I'm still in the 140's after holiday.
My final goal is to stay within 134 and 139.

I will not give up. I will not think about the fact that I've spent most of my life fat yet on a diet. I will figure this out.

 

[Jié Xī]

I forgot to mention I signed up for one of those diet wagers again, called Diet Bet. You don't really win much over the amount you put in so I use it to not lose money. For instance, I bet $100 last Thanksgiving to basically maintain my weight in order to get my $100 back. It worked. I didn't gain. But I felt rather deprived and ended up binging over Christmas so it kind of backfired on me. Anyway . . . .

I'm working really hard on trying not feel deprived this time around. Which is hard. Because I basically want to shovel chocolate into my mouth all day long. Not exactly helpful. Even if it is 90% cocoa. So, I've bought sugar free gum and have chosen it over snacking several times this week. But's also TOM so not sure if I will see a difference. Ugh.

 

[Jié Xī]

Yay . . . 166.4. It's only .6 down from 2 weeks ago, but 166 is pretty much the low end of the yo-yo I've been on for 4 years now. I've gotten briefly (for a week) to 159, but then celebrate and weight shoots right back to 166 and stays there until something like Christmas that tips it toward 172. So 172, 166, 172, 166. Anyway . . . getting under 166 (and not celebrating when I hit 159) means I'm finally moving in the right direction again.

My weigh-in for the wager (with clothes on) was 167.8. And I have to reach 161.1 by July 29th. That's about 1.5 pounds a week.

Hahahah, remember when I said the book I was reading said you have to make your rewards BIGGER. Well, there MIGHT be an upcoming opportunity for my name to be mentioned (in regard to my academic field) which would likely open some career doors, and of course, I want to look svelte in a power suit and not, er, squishy. I found this out yesterday morning, and lo and behold, the craving to eat chocolate last night (which I eat half a bar of 90% cocoa EVERY night) never came. In fact, I went to the cupboard and grabbed the 2 squares I am "allowed" to each all night and looked at them like, "why am I going to eat 120 calories in less than 5 minutes if I'm not even craving it" and put it right back. And I was under my calorie allotment for the day.

So yes, I fully agree with and get the idea of BIGGER reward. And now I'm realizing that a far off maybe in 4 years house is not good enough (seeing as how I ate half a bar of chocolate all week despite my kitchen being plastered with photos of my dream house). The reward needs to be BIGGER and IMPENDING.

If this opportunity falls through, I will need to create something that is as big somehow.