"Fat day you say"? How rude!!!

Discussion in 'Cambridge Diet 100% Posts!' started by Sammi N, 22 June 2009 Social URL.

  1. Sammi N

    Sammi N Anything but Regular

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    Well I got the shock of my life yesterday. Me and the other half were sitting outside in the sun having a drink (treated myself to a sparkling water lol) and was chatting away with eachother. All of a sudden he comes out with "are you having a fat day today sweetheart?" I replied "Why, do I look like I am" His repsonse was "Yes!" He then proceeded to say that he didn't mean it horribly but I apparently didn't do myself any justice in the top I was wearing. He said that 2 weeks previous I looked really slim and that I look bigger at the moment. Even tho I have only lost not gained any weight, 4lbs loss since in fact. I was gobsmacked, I then had to go and look in a full length mirror and all the confidence I felt about myself evaporated. I don't know if I saw in the mirror what he was describing, which was "extra role around the middle" or whether his comments made me convince myself I had ballooned.

    I couldn't react badly as he said it with such a sincere calm tone that I was more confused at his comments then anything, I really don't know how to handle the situation. I really don't want to lose faith in myself or the diet. I thought I had achieved more than I could ever imagine seeing as I have not been this size since my early teens.

    Had to tell you all as I am still in a state of numbness.
     
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  3. Sass

    Sass Silver Member

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    Really feel for ya hun, men can be so clumsy with words. I bet he could slap himself for saying it the way it came out.

    If i was you i wouldn't worry about what he said, you have done so well so far and the fact that your now at a size that you once were at in you teens in fab, i bet before your OH opened his big mouth you had the most amazing feeling about yourself, BRING THAT FEELING BACK !!! Have you got any pics of you before you started CD, if so i would just compare yourself then and now and that should help bring that feeling of achievement back.

    DON'T LISTEN TO MEN !!! My OH is just the same, they say some silly stuff.
     
  4. ELAY

    ELAY Full Member

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    Try not to take it to heart... Men are so useless when it comes to saying... well pretty much anything! He probably is kicking himself for saying something so insensitive and realises what an arse he has been.

    You have done brilliantly and just remain positive and keep doing what you have been x
     
  5. Zoe.D

    Zoe.D loving life

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    Oh sweetie, I really feel for you. That would upset me too if my Hubby ever said anything like that. I am sure he is kicking himself for saying it that way but it is still worth telling him how his comments have hurt you and knocked your confidence a bit. I'm sure he will listen and understand and take it into consideration before putting his big foot in it next time. You are doing fab so keep it going hun. Zoe xx
     
  6. Sunshine Singer

    Sunshine Singer Dropped White Sugar & Feeling Fantastic

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    How strange!!???!! Hardly going to make you feel on top of the world.

    Just keep going, look forward, you're doing so well xxx
     
  7. Sammi N

    Sammi N Anything but Regular

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    Big thanks to you all, I know I have done well and will continue to do so, I just thought he would know that the last thing I needed to hear was a negative, even if he thought it he should of kept it tohimself. I will get back to feeling good about myself, I have come far on my own achievement and am determined to continue to do so :D
     
  8. Katycakes

    Katycakes Stubborn tortoise

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    Wonder if he is feeling a bit insecure? Stay strong honey and don't let this derail you. You've done so well... no arguing with that.

    xxx
     
  9. broxi

    broxi ButtErFly

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    Hi Sammi, I get comments like that constantly from my hubby and my son! Today my son told me I looked like a cross between my 76 yr old mum and Susan Boyle! Anyway, maybe you were retaining fluid and having a 'fat' day. I know when I was thin - 9st I have photos where I look heavier cos of water retention. Also maybe what you were wearing - clothes make a huge difference to our shapes. Or maybe he is insecure - men do get worried about us changing - I've had a million questions eg. Why are you doing this? Ilike you the way you are so why do you need to lose weight? etc. My brother's wife of 25 years lost 8st on LL last year and left him for another man! So maybe he's just worried.
    Anyway, the scales are not lying, you have lost and will keep losing so do not worry about it. x
     
  10. Daiseydoo

    Daiseydoo is looking forward

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    Men! never say the right things but don't worry sweetheart I bet he's feeling really proud of you just make sure he thinks before he speaks next time as I think when we do this diet it makes us slightly more sensitive due to the hard work we all put in. As above look at your losess they spk for themselves and when your reach goal he wont be able to keep his mits off you lol :) just remind him of that xxx
     
  11. Sammi N

    Sammi N Anything but Regular

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    I think a fair suspicion has been pointed out here, he may well be insecure. He too says that i'm fine the way I am. He did mention once that when i'm "skinny" i'll run off looking for someone else. Funny that I took that as an insult too as i took that like i couldnt get anyone else while i was big. Tho looking back he was putting himself down more. I have woken this morning and feel fantastic i feel all sucked in if that makes sense, Am looking forward to my weigh in this friday. Ive got the twinges in my back and the light cramping in my stomach so could be totm looming, just my luck, more fluid retention and another 2lb loss.:D
     
  12. Daiseydoo

    Daiseydoo is looking forward

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    That is an excellent veiw to take hun, good luck for friday you deserve a good loss xxx
     
  13. curlywurly1234

    curlywurly1234 Cambridge Consultant

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    Hey Sammi,
    Just wanted to say your doing fab, and I bet your feeling great.. Men sometimes dont say the right thing, he probably was trying to say it in a nice way but it came out wrong.. I bought a dress the other day and was really happy with it.. a size 8 if I might add.. (just in that dress) and was so happy put it on for DH and he said I dont like it on you the colour is no good for your complexion.. DAMN IT and I loved it but I loved it as it was a size 8 and he was probably right it was not bright enough for me as I have dark skin..
    Your husband was probably just trying to say that top didnt flatter your figure as much as another one for instance.. They mean well but sometimes dont say it correctly!!
    You know your doing great and feeling better .. so chin up and keep smiling xxx
     
  14. Bess

    Bess Plod, plod, plod.....

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    Poor Sammi - men huh? Glad you've got your oomph back now! You;ve done so well.

    And Curlywurly - just had to say - you look amazing in your latest photo, really lovely - you've done so well!
     
  15. Witchy

    Witchy ButtERfly

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    WOW that would have crumbled me in a second, im confidence is bad most of the time.

    I think I agree with the insecure comments, I know my husband is acting a bit wierd at the moment, not sure if its my paranoia with the diet.

    Maybe ask him nicely not to make comments that can send you back to square one and tell him how it made you feel.
     
  16. Claudine004

    Claudine004 Oh Yea!

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    Reality of weight loss!

    Hi all,

    Great Weight loss Curlywurly, what a fox you are, and well done Sammy and all the others on the weight loss so far!

    I just wanted to say a little something on this topic.

    As we lose weight a lot of things are going to change as some of you are already experiencing. Not only the way we think and feel about ourselves but the way others see us and the way it makes them feel about themselves. When people close to you change or do something brave it makes us examine our own lives doesn't it?

    Most of the time this will be a positive thing, but sometimes it won't be.:(

    People you thought were your friends may not be able to handle the new you, same as some partners.

    What is important is that you carry on and forget what others say and think. Losing weight is life changing and you must go for yours! :winner:

    I see it like this: for years I have been overweight and I got used to it and convinced myself I was happy with it. Changing that mindset took lots of adjusting. It will be the same for loved ones, they will need to to adjust to the new you.. and trust me it really is a new you, your whole attitude to life will change not just how you look. It can be a shock to the system for some.

    Remain focused on your goals forget what people say, or what we thought they said. It doesn't matter. Your doing it! This can be one of the hardest diets going, and your amazing for doing it!

    One last thing, we all get fat days as women....but I'm the only one who has permission to share it with others.
    People close to me are aware of that! :girlpower:

    Good luck ladies :D
     
  17. minibum

    minibum Full Member

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    Good advice Claudine! I think it often says more about the other person making the comments than the reality. I was just thinking the other day about how some of my mummy friends will react when I've lost all my weight as they have only ever known me bigger! I know some of them will find it strange as i am one of the biggest out of us all and have always been the one everyone associates with loving food! So it'll be strange to swap places and be the skinny beach for a change!

    Sammi I'm not surprised that you had your confidence knocked! People can be daft at times! Their problem - not yours!
     
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