I know I'm possibly my own worst enemy. I will always call attention to my size (14/16 Aus or 16/18 UK) before someone else gets the chance to hurt me. I will make myself the butt of a joke before someone else does. I think that i do this far too much and it is very detrimental to my attitude to myself. I am the one who calls me "Fat".
Fatism
- Thread starter faery_lights
- Start date
1978Emma
Full Member
so true rockford, I think most of us do that, its easier to get in there with the fat joke first before someone else does, it makes us feel as if on some level its not as bad if we are horrible to ourselves which is so wrong but I guess something most of us are guilty of doing. Em
faery_lights
Going Places
It's a defence mechanism- you're trying to let people know that you're 'comfortable' with your size but also stops them from making the comments first.
I did read a wonderful quote a while ago- you wouldn't be friends with someone who says the things you say to yourself!
TTfan
Full Member
Zanna - I'm the same, I've always been quite active and enjoy outdoor sports like hiking, climbing etc and I swear that before I went on this diet people believed that when I told them I'd gone surfing (or whatever) last weekend I was making it up! Why would I lie?!
I also think I've lost out on jobs due to size.
Also, this is the second time I've lost a lot of weight. The first time I was 18 and I went away on a gap year (don't hate me!) for 6 months and came back 3 stone thinner - because it happened so quickly, I went away obese and came back thin, the difference in the attitudes that people had towards me were even more noticeable and I must say it made me quite resentful towards a few people.
I also think I've lost out on jobs due to size.
Also, this is the second time I've lost a lot of weight. The first time I was 18 and I went away on a gap year (don't hate me!) for 6 months and came back 3 stone thinner - because it happened so quickly, I went away obese and came back thin, the difference in the attitudes that people had towards me were even more noticeable and I must say it made me quite resentful towards a few people.
Jettica
Shoot to thrill
It's amazing how people's true feeling about you come out once you've lost weight. It's still not okay to call my previous self fat even if I do!
I think making the fat jokes first makes people feel uncomfortable. I suppose I'm not technically classed as fat now but I still identify as a fat girl. I don't need people saying 'oh your're not fat', I'm not fishing for compliments. I'm just stating the obvious. I still have very fat girl habits, I just know how to offset them with fit girl habits!
Be proud of being fat and don't hate your body, even if you want to change it.
I was to be thin with great legs but that doesn't mean I hate the way I look now. I look awesome.
I think making the fat jokes first makes people feel uncomfortable. I suppose I'm not technically classed as fat now but I still identify as a fat girl. I don't need people saying 'oh your're not fat', I'm not fishing for compliments. I'm just stating the obvious. I still have very fat girl habits, I just know how to offset them with fit girl habits!
Be proud of being fat and don't hate your body, even if you want to change it.
I was to be thin with great legs but that doesn't mean I hate the way I look now. I look awesome.
JD89
Full Member
Im the same in that i will always call myself chubby or fat but i know the times iv just been around strangers or small minded family if i dont get in there first some one else will do it for me. Some times its easier to have people laugh at you on your terms than to let someone kick you in the chops and have to do that awkward laugh while inside you are dieing of embaressment. My mother in law feels that just because shes smaller than me and unhappy that she has to make my weight an issue because its an issue for her.
Jettica
Shoot to thrill
Me too rockford. Let's just go with the positivity. We are doing something great to change our bodies. No more fat jokes, and you have to tell friends/family off if they get there first. They probably only do it because you do, they think it's okay if you always try to make the jokes first.
Reading this thread is actually quite upsetting to hear what some people have gone through. It's awful. How people can be so cruel to others is just shocking!
I too have been judged because of my size and have been in an abusive relationship so it breaks you and contributes to your weight gain, i was never bothered about my weight until after i had my child as i piled on 3 stone, and since have noticed how ive been treated differently. its actually disgusting.
When i was younger my nan was also a very big woman and always looked after us while my mum worked, she used to fill us up on sweets and total s**t so we just grew up big. She has always made comments about my weight and it got to the point where my mum had to intervene. I think people push their insecurities onto you and they think they are doing you a favour when they really arent.
One word for all these people who insult people, BULLIES. Thats all they are and one day karma is going to come along and slap them upside their head.
In a way im glad i've reached this weight because it has taught me compassion and kindness and i will never ever treat anyone the way others and myself have been treated just because of how i look.
I too have been judged because of my size and have been in an abusive relationship so it breaks you and contributes to your weight gain, i was never bothered about my weight until after i had my child as i piled on 3 stone, and since have noticed how ive been treated differently. its actually disgusting.
When i was younger my nan was also a very big woman and always looked after us while my mum worked, she used to fill us up on sweets and total s**t so we just grew up big. She has always made comments about my weight and it got to the point where my mum had to intervene. I think people push their insecurities onto you and they think they are doing you a favour when they really arent.
One word for all these people who insult people, BULLIES. Thats all they are and one day karma is going to come along and slap them upside their head.
In a way im glad i've reached this weight because it has taught me compassion and kindness and i will never ever treat anyone the way others and myself have been treated just because of how i look.
1978Emma
Full Member
that is what I find Miss J, many of us are compassionate / caring people and do not deserve to be looked upon and treated as if we are something on the bottom of another persons shoes. I have always been someone who cares for others and would never say anything on purpose that I thought might hurt another person yet so often if you are big people feel they have the right to say what they want to you, it makes me see red really!
I think at the end of the day we have to accept ourselves first and then these ignorant individuals comments will not have as much power over us.
We are all basically on here as we want to change our lives, be it for looks, health or both and so good on us for trying to change things, that said whether we are bigger or slimmer nobody has the right to treat us in such an unkind way.
Em xx
I think at the end of the day we have to accept ourselves first and then these ignorant individuals comments will not have as much power over us.
We are all basically on here as we want to change our lives, be it for looks, health or both and so good on us for trying to change things, that said whether we are bigger or slimmer nobody has the right to treat us in such an unkind way.
Em xx
Jettica
Shoot to thrill
I think if people are going through a hard time with their weight then it can help them to make a change. They just have to realise that they can do something about their unhappiness. They can either give the finger to those bullies and walk around with their heads held high or they can work to get fit and show the bullies exactly what they can do.
How can you expect people to love you if you don't love yourself?
I say that I love my body and people ask me why I'm losing weight. I'm doing it BECAUSE I love my body, not because I hate it.
How can you expect people to love you if you don't love yourself?
I say that I love my body and people ask me why I'm losing weight. I'm doing it BECAUSE I love my body, not because I hate it.
