Feel out of control :(

[Dan8317]

Hey all,

Feeling so out of control around food at the moment that its getting me down. Then because I'm down I eat more and so the cycle continues :'( I just can't seem to break it.

I've been going to meetings for months now and lost a grand total of 3lb. Not because of the diet but because I can't control my binges. I have people telling me I'm wasting my money (not that its their business) but I continue going in the hope that something will fall into place sometime soon and while I go to meetings I'm somehow managing to keep my weight stable.

I know people say have a little of what you fancy so you don't feel deprived but I honestly think I'm going to have to cut out rubbish foods completely as once I start I just can't seem to stop. This isn't the case though with healthy foods so thinking filling and healthy maybe worth a go. I maybe beable to introduce treats at a later date but for now it seems like my only option.

Sorry for the moan but I just don't know what to do anymore

Dan x

 

[ununpentium]

Hi Dan,

Not having a go, but did you read my reply to your other thread? Did anything help? Did you take a look at the books I suggested?

Hi,

I struggle very much with food and binging. I'd go as far as to say I have binge eating disorder, it really is that bad. I am definitely an emotional eater- I eat when I'm happy, sad, angry, afraid. You name it.

I gained and lost the same amount of weight at WW and felt like I was wasting my money. It took me about 3 months to lose 7lbs! Then I decided to leave, and in a few weeks I'd put 6lbs back on. So I re-joined, determined to lose weight.

I bought a book to help my binge eating. I have two that are really helpful- Getting better bit(e) by bit(e): A survival kit for sufferers of bulimia and binge eating disorders by Ulrike Schmidt and Janet Treasure. The second is Overcoming binge eating by Christopher G. Fairburn.

The thing that made me sit up and think "I REALLY need to sort my eating out NOW" was after doing an exercise in the first book. It makes you write out a letter to a friend as if you hadn't seen them in five years. Imagine that your overeating continues during this time. In five years what weight would you be? What health problems would you have? What job would you have? What about your family? I gained 2 stone in the past year, so in five years that would be ten stone putting my BMI at 54. At that weight I doubt I'd be able to walk far, if at all. I wouldn't be able to work or start a family. I don't even know if me and my partner would be together because of the strain on our relationship of my secretive binging would cause and how unattractive I would be at that weight. My boyfriend is not shallow and he is not overly concerned about weight, but it would be very hard for him if I was morbidly obese. I know my depression would be extremely worse if I was at that weight.

The second exercise was to write another letter to the same person five years in the future, but as if you listened to their advice about stopping your overeating. What weight would you be? How would your life be different? I know my life wouldn't be perfect if I stopped binging and lost weight, but my confidence would definitely be higher. I'd be able to finish my university course and get a job. I'd probably get married and have kids.

Out of the two options I know what I want. And I know if I don't do something now about my weight then I will be facing a life of obesity and depression.

It might sound dramatic, but it was a wake up call I needed.

I still get some urges to binge, but it's easier to resist because I keep reminding myself of where I don't want to end up. I try and eat my meals at the table without distractions, as if you eat in front of the tv you're more likely to overeat because you won't notice that you're full.

All I can say is I empathise having been where you are.

Maybe you're not in the right frame of mind to lose weight at the moment.

But it IS possible to reduce or stop your binges. What opened my eyes was writing those letters I mentioned in my post.

 

[Dan8317]

Thanks for replying, Im going to look into the books thanks for the suggestions. Suppose Im just looking for reassurance that there are others that struggle with the same issues and that they have overcome it.

Dan x

 

[ununpentium]

Yeah, I know how it feels. It really, really sucks when you feel out of control with binging. Have hope that it does get better!

 

[Maria2206]

Dan

Years ago, I lost over 4st on WW and looking back it seemed "easy". For the last couple of years I have yo-yo'd, sometimes been miserable, felt out of control, binged etc etc. Almost a month ago, I decided to give myself a kick up the backside and stop making excuses for my lack of staying power.

I have now been back on plan for 3 weeks and have stopped looking for low cal substitutes for my favourite "rubbish". I have gone back to basics - fruit based desserts, no sweets, crisps, bakery style cookies (my particular weakness, I would eat a bag of 5 massive cookes at a time) or chocolate. I have largely given up the booze - another weakness of mine - and have had just one all day drinking session during which I drank spirits in long glasses with low cal mixers.

To get myself going, I had to tell myself that tomorrow is the start of a new regime and that I wasn't messing around this time. Track absolutely honestly and properly and stick within your limits. The plan itself I have not struggled with. Getting myself into the frame of mind and making a commitment to myself was the hardest but once I got going, it took about 2 days to get into the swing of it again properly.

Set yourself a goal (eg half a stone loss) and do something about getting there.

As I mentioned in my reply to your post of a week or so ago, make sure you get plenty of exercise as it really raises the spirits.

Good luck.

 

[Dan8317]

Thanks both. I've decided that in the morning Im having a fresh start. However Im going to give rosemary conley a go. Ww is too flexible for me at the moment and knowing i can have anything aslong as i point it is not good when Im in this frame of mind.

Plus it incorporates exercise so hoping it will lift my mood as previously mentioned.

Just wanted to say thanks again and good luck with your weightloss

Dan x

 

[ununpentium]

Good luck with RC

 

[BettyOnSea]

Dan...i assume you're a guy sorry if not...have a look at http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dGPa6OWjakA&feature=plpp
This is my cambridge diet counsellor but i'm posting the link because his story shows it CAN be done. I' ve known him for years amd he was fat for years...what a change! If the link doesn't work look on youtube 'mitch jones cambridge'
Good luck
Becky x

 

[Sashkie]

Hi, I feel the same.

I lost 2 stone in 2010. I'd split up with my boyfriend of several years and was doing a course from home whilst working fulll time, so was just dedicated, I had no outside influences and the friend I spent most of what little free time I had with was doing WW with me. We lived and breathed WW and it was the old plan, so u had to plan ahead and save points for nights out. That structure and strictness works well for me. It also allows me to eat normal foods, as opposed to a shake only diet or something, but I needed the strictness and structure to lose weight. I lost every week, about 2lb, and put on 4lb on a holiday and lost it the week I came back. IT WORKED!

I got to goal - 8st 10lb. I felt amazing. I was confident. I loved my body (apart from my now rather floppy boobies!!)

I lost my nan in 2011 to cancer. It kicked me hard. She was like my mother - my mum did 3 jobs so we spent a lot of time with her, and for the past 15yrs we all lived togehter. I comfort ate to cope. I then met my amazing boyfriend in the Nov. Hes an amazing cook and I became happy and comfortable and ate and ate!

I joined WW again in Feb this yr at 9st 11lb. Ive lost 1lb here and there, 1 week I lost 3lb. But never gotten lower than about 9st 9lb. Im now 10st 1lb. None of my clothes fit. I feel vile. I look pregnant. My boyfriend is sick of me moaning about my weight but continuing to graze. I live at home, but spend weekends at his. At home, my slim mum has share bags of crisps and chocs hidden for her to enjoy but not to tempt me. I hunt them out, steal them and eat the lot and try to hide the bags - its making me laugh to type that, but i actually do, its pathetic! My other half generally helps, he buys low fat ingriedients and we cook from scratch. But sometimes he fancies takeout, he isnt a saint and likes a treat and I give in and I eat until I feel sick. At work if theres ever cakes or biscuits I will take as much as I can without anyone seeing.

I start off weighing my breakfast, by dinner time Im eating while im cooking and have what I want until I go to bed. Im out of control.

I could do the old plan becuase of how strict it was. But this new plan gives me leaway, not sure it helps me. But I wanna do the new plan, because I like the meetings and the apps for support and the old way isnt supported anymore unless I do it alone of course...

Someone help me!

 

[Maria2206]

Oh Sashkie. Your honesty really made me smile - and I mean that in a nice way - particularly the part about pinching your mum's naughties and eating them!

I was watching the TV program about compulsive cleaners a few weeks ago and there was a lady there who was a hoarder. She had to surround herself with piles of junk and wouldn't let any of it go. As the program developed it became clear that she had not dealt with the loss of a close family member (one of her children I think can't quite remember now) and she was filling that void with "collecting". Reading your story brought that TV program back to mind.

You were clearly very close to your Nan and are probably still grieving. Reading your comments, you have clearly made the link between losing your Nan and the eating issues. Do you think you are still using food to help with the void? Do you feel like you went through the complete grieving process or did you bottle it all up?

x

 

[Dan8317]

Hey Sashkie,

Know what you mean about the old plan because I found it easier aswell and think the reason was because I felt like I had to earn my treats. Done it a few weeks back from old books and done well in the first week or two but felt like I needed group support. Then when I went back I wanted to try the pp (again) because as you said that's what its all aimed towards. I was going to switch to rc but I'm going to speak to my leader this morning as I'm on monthly pass to see if she can suggest anything. At the moment I'm thinking maybe simply filling (as I don't binge on healthy foods only junk) or possibly dividing my weekly over the 7 days so I can't binge on them all in one day or as you liked the old plan you could save them up then for a treat so you feel more like you earned it. Hope that makes sense

Thanks for link Becky will have a look as I need to do something and I'm a girl by the way lol.

Good luck all,
Dan x

 

[ununpentium]

Sashkie I am very similar to you in that my mum is slim and often buys 'naughties' for herself. I hunt them out and try to eat what I can get away with without her noticing. One time I made her hide my chocolate in her bedroom. I lasted a couple of weeks without thinking about it, then I snapped and frantically searched her bedroom. I found my stash and gorged on it until I felt like I would explode. I must have had 10 chocolate bars in about 10 minutes.

It was at that moment, crying and eating, that I realised I had a problem. I dumped the rest of the chocolate in the dustbin and ordered some books from Amazon about how to overcome binge eating (I referenced them in my earlier post).

Since reading the books my binging has lessened, but not completely stopped. I know that I am an emotional eater. I suffer from depression and anxiety and use food as a coping mechanism. But from experience I know that when I'm busy and doing things I forget about food and can actually follow the WW plan rigidly and lose weight. I go back to uni in October and I'm hoping because I'll be busy, I won't have time to think about food much.

The other thing is that I know that if I don't have any binge food in the house then I'm not likely to binge. Yes, sometimes I will go to the shops to buy food, but that takes time- I have to find my purse, put the dog away, lock the door, walk to the shop etc. Usually somewhere along that process I decide it's not worth it.

So maybe the harder you make it to access your binge food, the easier it will be to talk yourself out of a binge. Talk to your mum about it, see what the two of you can come up with. Maybe designate Friday nights to be treat night- that night you use your weeklies on a nice meal and some chocolate. And then all other nights you're 'good' and there's nothing tempting in the house.

Dan- good luck on simply filling. Lots of people here find it a really good way to lose weight. Give yourself time- you will get there.

 

[Sashkie]

Thanks for ur replies...

I didn't grieve but its been a year and I think I have now... I have anxiety and became very anxious and depressed around Easter which I think was the grieving coming out.

I do emotionally eat but I managed to lose the weight before which annoys me more! I do eat when I'm bored or if I know I'm not meant to I steal food from around the house..

I live between my mums and boyfriends and I'm at uni and do placements as part of my degree. Doing different shifts and not having much routine does make it more difficult but I did shifts before and managed...

I'm very big now, bigger than ever. And I wanna get on it now...
I just don't believe I can now. I just don't do it...

I've asked my bf if he minds me planning what we will eat when I'm at his, as even tho he buys low fat and cooks from scratch for me I want it to fit in my 26pp.
I don't want to use my 49 unless its to go out, so its more like the old system.

I considered filling and healthy but it doesn't seem structured enough...

What were the books u brought?