batlo8
Full Member
Well, what a complete tool I am. I woke up in such a good mood today and felt thinner and more confident and, low and behold maybe even vaguely attractive. But as the day has gone on of course that little inkling of confidence has been trampled out of me as usual!
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For the entire time I have had weight on me I have felt like a complete ugly loser, not believing that anyone in their right mind would fancy me. I have known my place in society and I have known who is and is not in my league. Then, along came the office hotty. Now, when I first started my job (I was a size 12) he fancied me, I knew he did cos everyone told me, but I had always assumed that he no longer did because of my weight gain. But this last few weeks he has been Mr charming, he has been sending emails with plenty of kisses, confiding in me, stopping me for chats in the corridor, smiling across the office and begging me to attend the xmas do and guess what? Like a complete and utter idiot I believed that finally, FINALLY someone fancied me anyway, despite the weight gain.
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But today, over pops one of the other office girls for an innocent chat and it comes about that in fact, the office hotty has been asking me to go to the do because without me, my size 8, glamorous blonde friend will not attend. So if I go, he has a chance to get in with her. That is the same reason he has been chatting to me, because he is SO over awed by her beauty that he’s too shy to speak to her directly so was hoping I would pass on good reviews!
*
I feel like an idiot, a fat, disgusting waste of space idiot. What a fool I was to believe he would fancy someone as vile as me :cry:
*
For the entire time I have had weight on me I have felt like a complete ugly loser, not believing that anyone in their right mind would fancy me. I have known my place in society and I have known who is and is not in my league. Then, along came the office hotty. Now, when I first started my job (I was a size 12) he fancied me, I knew he did cos everyone told me, but I had always assumed that he no longer did because of my weight gain. But this last few weeks he has been Mr charming, he has been sending emails with plenty of kisses, confiding in me, stopping me for chats in the corridor, smiling across the office and begging me to attend the xmas do and guess what? Like a complete and utter idiot I believed that finally, FINALLY someone fancied me anyway, despite the weight gain.
*
But today, over pops one of the other office girls for an innocent chat and it comes about that in fact, the office hotty has been asking me to go to the do because without me, my size 8, glamorous blonde friend will not attend. So if I go, he has a chance to get in with her. That is the same reason he has been chatting to me, because he is SO over awed by her beauty that he’s too shy to speak to her directly so was hoping I would pass on good reviews!
*
I feel like an idiot, a fat, disgusting waste of space idiot. What a fool I was to believe he would fancy someone as vile as me :cry: