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Feeling awful.

Hey everyone,

I just need to get this out, I feel awful and have done for days.

But its NOT LL!

I have some things going in my personal life that are wrecking my head. Work is a major issue and I have to make a huge descion about a friendship with someone that I need to end - for my own sanity. But everytime I think about it i want to cry (this is a big deal - i dont cry unless its a major thing) and dont think I can walk away from it -which is the best thing i could do and also causing me the pain as I cant decide.

So basically I feel worse then I have in months and it hurts!!!! Aggghhhh. But i've not turned to food or broke the diet. At least im in control of one part of my life :sigh:

I just went in the kitchen at work and said to my friend 'im gona eat one of those beef sandwiches' from the buffet (she knows whats up with me and about LL) and she came over and ate it herself and then said it was crap! Now thats a good mate!! So I didnt eat but I realised that I KNOW it wouldnt have made me feel any better anyway! Insightful.

Also after tonight - I wont be able to get on minis until Wednesday night as im on a course 2m - at my mums in the evening (another challange as all we do is eat 2gether - like partners in crime - but she should be supportive) and then have to meet my mentor wed (who i've never met before) for lunch on Wed. So wont be back home until Wed night - I use minis so much and am scared of not getting on for a few days. But its a huge support as you all know how I feel!

I also should have gone to see one of my directors today - but hid in a office as feel so crap I cant face it.

I also need to go home, pack, go to meeting and have still not done my work for my course 2m and then get up at 5am.

So all in all - I feel really crappy!

Sorry for going on - I needed to get it off my chest!

Peanut xxxx
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But hopefully a good loss night should help me feel happy xx
I will later - xxx
I hope so !

I dont even feel like going tonight! But i know i have to (and i wouldnt have anything to eat next week either if i dont!)

I'll prob feel better once i've been - maybe i'll leave early!

P x
It seems like your going through a really tough time at the moment. Ending a friendship of a person close to you is very difficult, stressful and emotionally draining. Well done for holding strong and not giving into your cravings to eat the beef roll. If your feeling really low then why don't you go and have a chat with your GP. Hope you start feeling better very soon.

Lost 4lbs! So im chuffed thats 12lbs in 2 weeks and the group made me laugh and feel happy.

Funnily enough Fenella - I have next week off work and the friend i mentioned above said that I should have a break from it all. Good advice thank you.

I do feel low - but I think that I can get through this I just need to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel cocojo. But it is there its just a dim light right now....

Thanks everyone for your words.

Peanut xxxxxx

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