Feeling awkward?

[mandyafc]

Thank you am glad it wasn't just me being sensitive. Well done on SOTW and SOTM

Sensitive?? More like extremely well restrained!
..and thanks (aw shucks lol)

 

[mandyafc]

It gets easier when you have won five previous Slimmer of the Months

Show off!!
Is there a jealous smiley? :jelous: oh yes there is lol

Well done on them there shiny stickers gazter, your weight loss is totally awesome and inspiring

 

[loolahoop]

i totally understand what u mean jenna as much as i do love that SW is OBVIOUSLY working enough for other people to notice and i appreciate when someone pays me a compliment based on my weightloss (especially as i, like many others cant seem to see the results in the mirror!), i dont quite know how to react, makes me feel kinda awkward too lol, i tend to just say aw thanks, been trying to loose a few pounds. but at the same time can feel my face burning up! lol i then usually just change subject, like so how r u? lol xx

 

[*Emsie*]

Whether you have one stone or five stone to lose it still means you are unhappy with your body x

And you don't even have to have weight to lose to be unhappy with your body I would imagine! I wonder how many people actually are happy with their bodies? Sadly I don't think it would be many :sigh:

 

[*Emsie*]

I'm definitely of the "don't want to talk about it" camp cos I don't comment on others appearances and wish they wouldn't on mine. It does set me off. I'm losing weight for me and hate it when people notice. I even had someone say the other day "you're always going on and off diets and losing and gaining weight aren't you?". I felt like punching her lights out. Whilst its true I just wouldn't dream of saying something like that to someone. In the past it would have affected the way I ate but luckily I seem to be getting better. I'm doing this for me and my health, not for others who think I should which is how it's always been in the past since I can remember. I think it's something which is very personal to each person and I'm happy to say I'd rather not talk about it. I'm perfectly happy talking on here where it's never about how you look.

I hate it at the moment because after getting to target I have gained a bit of weight back and now trying to work on that and am concious of what people may be thinking like oooh she is going to put it all back on etc and hopefully I'm not its just learning a different thing for me that have never done in the past (maintaining or trying to!)
I'm not saying they should have said that to you but do you think they meant to be rude though? People who have a battle with smoking probably get comments like that all the time and though its not personal to their appearance it must do their head in too. I'm not trying to say you were being oversensitive as I would have been gutted to just trying to look at it from the other side x

 

[kingleds]

And then on the other hand we regularly see threads on here from people who are upset because other people haven't commented and don't seem to have noticed!

"Other People" just can't win, can they?

It would make you feel much less awkward if you could just put yourself in their position for a moment. If you were them, what would you say? If someone is offering a compliment, even though it might not be quite what we wanted to hear, it is kind and polite to accept it graciously - just as you would want someone else to do if it were you giving the compliment.

So very true Anna. I actually have a friend who goes to my SW group who whenever she gets compliment will say 'its only because xyz'. I made her promise to respond to every compliment with a simple thank you for a week to see how it felt.

I tend to make a bit of a joke about it all now. Whenever someone I haven't seen for a while says 'you're looking well' I just respond, thanks! I've lost a shed load of weight. It gets them over the arkwardness, plus it gives me the total right to get annoyed when someone doesn't notice

 

[peacelily]

I hate it at the moment because after getting to target I have gained a bit of weight back and now trying to work on that and am concious of what people may be thinking like oooh she is going to put it all back on etc and hopefully I'm not its just learning a different thing for me that have never done in the past (maintaining or trying to!)
I'm not saying they should have said that to you but do you think they meant to be rude though? People who have a battle with smoking probably get comments like that all the time and though its not personal to their appearance it must do their head in too. I'm not trying to say you were being oversensitive as I would have been gutted to just trying to look at it from the other side x

Think you're right too cos what she said is actually the truth and I have yo yoed up and down all my life. So really don't think she was being rude just stating the obvious. It's just maybe that I don't state the obvious cos I'm never sure what peoples feelings are on discussing personal issues. It's just such a minefield and who knows what upsets people depending on what they are feeling at the time. We are such complicated creatures aren't we and I guess sometimes people can't do right for doing wrong!

 

[sparty]

i get embarrassed too - i think its more the idea that someone is looking intently at my body. i have always been self-conscious...even before i put any weight on and i hate being the centre of attention. (a surprise party, birthday meal with a cake and rendition of happy birthday etc are like torture to me!!)

i tend to argue with the compliment - not in a horrible way though more like brushing it off. it will be something like 'wow you have lost a bit of weight' and i will say something like 'oh not really only a pound or two'. this is just to deflect attention and stop the person from looking at me.

if someone was to say something like 'i love your shoes' i would not feel that way. i would just say 'arent they cool....i got them from blah blah blah' and that would be totally fine.....but i just dont like the feeling of people looking at my body and judging it [even though they are judging it to be nice!]

 

[sparty]

another thing i dont really like is people asking how much i lost at WI each week. I find that all a bit awkward - what if i havent lost? its not a nice feeling to gain or STS and i dont particularly want to have to go through that feeling everytime i bump into a friend.

the only person i tell if my bf - he gets the happy whoops and tears when i STS (and strops on the one occasion i gained - actually realistically it was a mini breakdown lol)

 

[*Emsie*]

Think you're right too cos what she said is actually the truth and I have yo yoed up and down all my life. So really don't think she was being rude just stating the obvious. It's just maybe that I don't state the obvious cos I'm never sure what peoples feelings are on discussing personal issues. It's just such a minefield and who knows what upsets people depending on what they are feeling at the time. We are such complicated creatures aren't we and I guess sometimes people can't do right for doing wrong!

Thank you for understanding where I was coming from with my comment and yes we definitely are complicated creatures x

 

[ThatBubbs]

I understand this feeling, it used to weird me out that people said anything, but its happening s lit more lately (literally like 8 times so far this week ) and I'm trying my best to accept the compliment, I usually mention slimming world too if the conversation continues. Despite feeling better in myself, and learning to accept compliments etc I still find it uncomfortable in image therapy when its my turn and people clap me. I think that's just that I'm no quite used to that level of attention - I can deal with one person but 30 is still a little much!

 

[Jenna88]

Pleased to say I was a bit more gracious in my response today as I took note of what all you people said I actually said allowed 'yeh, thanks' when told id lost weight!

In saying that, this is the battle other people do face as I worked with all five of the people who have mentioned my weight to me in June and I maybe weigh a pound or 2 less than I did then yet it's like they've just noticed haha! Made me chuckle thinking about it given some of the comments made earlier in this thread lol!

 

[Weejocklassie]

Nobody that I work with mentioned the fact the I suddenly started eating fruit and salads instead of crisps and toast, until I came in bursting about my weight loss. Now they all ask me what I am cooking for dinner, how much I have lost etc and are really lovely and supportive!
i think they were worried about offending me.

I know my weight is too high, I know I am fat, and while I don't want anyone to mention that, I do want them to tell me how fab I am looking for having lost weight as it helps boost my confidence.

I am also in the same boat as some of the others, in that I know I am smaller, I have had to buy smaller clothes, yet I look in the mirror and see the same sized me as I did before!!! I think it's because you look at yourself every day so you don't see the changes.


My mum and dad came over the other week when it was roasting and I had a pair of my hubby's shorts on (mine are falling down!) and my mum told me my legs were looking really great, at first I was a bit like hmmmm so they weren't before then.... But then I took it as the compliment that it was meant as.

Most people just want to encourage and congratulate you. Being fat/ overweight is a very public thing, everyone can see, so even if you are in denial to yourself that it was that bad, comments aren't meant to hurt you, just to say how fab you are doing.

 

[kingleds]

Pleased to say I was a bit more gracious in my response today as I took note of what all you people said I actually said allowed 'yeh, thanks' when told id lost weight!

In saying that, this is the battle other people do face as I worked with all five of the people who have mentioned my weight to me in June and I maybe weigh a pound or 2 less than I did then yet it's like they've just noticed haha! Made me chuckle thinking about it given some of the comments made earlier in this thread lol!

Glad you were able to say thank you. Its very difficult, and even though I have always tried to jsut say thanks when pe3ople notice, I still struggle with how I actually look compared ot how other people see me - regardless of how I reat outwardly when complimented by people

 

[*Emsie*]

Its when people say I must feel more confident it bugs me because in lots of ways I don't and actually don't like more about my body now than before but thats because I take more notice of it now and it deserves the attention for health reasons even if for appearance reasons it will never be 'right' in my eyes.
The comments and attention are noice to a degree but I think it actually gets easier to adjuct to yourself when all that dies down a bit and you can get used to the new you.

 

[kingleds]

Its when people say I must feel more confident it bugs me because in lots of ways I don't and actually don't like more about my body now .

Totally get this one.

 

[*Emsie*]

Totally get this one.

And now I know there are things I can't do sod all about at least before I thought I could diet and improve my bod