SerenityValley
Surgically happy.
Just feeling sorry for myself I guess and for petty reasons. But I had my hopes all built up, that the swimming would give me that extra push to get back to 5lbs a week loss. I skipped my meeting as I couldn't be bothered sitting through a session.
So I swam all week - 5 days in a row, and tonight lost 3.8 pounds.
I know it's petty and childish to be gutted over what should be considered a good loss but I fall way below the average for men, despite starting bigger than most - I'm watching people who barely had 3 stone to lose, lose 5 or 6 pounds a week.
It's woken up my very real fear that the weight loss will stall - it will deteriorate down to 2 a week and I will fail if that happens as I cannot face the thought of this lasting the extra 4 months that would mean.
Logic says that won't happen but my heart, and the nasty little voice in my head says it will. I have after all, had a lifetime of failure.
This week I have been better than ever - meeting my water intake most days (I aim for 4L plus my shakes and soups and usually get close). I did have a rubbish weekend water wise. But then exercise seems to have made no difference. I'll do it all again next week and see what happens.
I think coming on top of my photos being rubbish, I'm just going to be a bit of a misery tonight and will then start to get over it but my positivity is so low just now I've gone from beign sure I will succeed to being very worried I won't.
In the past I would have given up tonight but obviously I must have some hope as I have no intention of cheating.
I know I have hit some targets and milestones, including one pretty big one tonight but I couldn't care less - all for the sake of not losing another 1b. That's pathetic but it's how I'm feeling tonight, so I'm not going through my usual reoutine (updating things like facebook status, trackers, sig, etc.
I guess that is what I get for getting my hopes up. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.
Sorry for anyone sat there thinking what the hell is he on? Especially as I know some of you have smaller losses than this - and because in the grand scheme of things, it's hardly a crisis. I just have pinned too many of my hopes onto my weightloss and tonight I'm floundering. It was a bit of a rubbish day today emotionally and now I just want to go to bed and write the rest of the year off.
So I swam all week - 5 days in a row, and tonight lost 3.8 pounds.
I know it's petty and childish to be gutted over what should be considered a good loss but I fall way below the average for men, despite starting bigger than most - I'm watching people who barely had 3 stone to lose, lose 5 or 6 pounds a week.
It's woken up my very real fear that the weight loss will stall - it will deteriorate down to 2 a week and I will fail if that happens as I cannot face the thought of this lasting the extra 4 months that would mean.
Logic says that won't happen but my heart, and the nasty little voice in my head says it will. I have after all, had a lifetime of failure.
This week I have been better than ever - meeting my water intake most days (I aim for 4L plus my shakes and soups and usually get close). I did have a rubbish weekend water wise. But then exercise seems to have made no difference. I'll do it all again next week and see what happens.
I think coming on top of my photos being rubbish, I'm just going to be a bit of a misery tonight and will then start to get over it but my positivity is so low just now I've gone from beign sure I will succeed to being very worried I won't.
In the past I would have given up tonight but obviously I must have some hope as I have no intention of cheating.
I know I have hit some targets and milestones, including one pretty big one tonight but I couldn't care less - all for the sake of not losing another 1b. That's pathetic but it's how I'm feeling tonight, so I'm not going through my usual reoutine (updating things like facebook status, trackers, sig, etc.
I guess that is what I get for getting my hopes up. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.
Sorry for anyone sat there thinking what the hell is he on? Especially as I know some of you have smaller losses than this - and because in the grand scheme of things, it's hardly a crisis. I just have pinned too many of my hopes onto my weightloss and tonight I'm floundering. It was a bit of a rubbish day today emotionally and now I just want to go to bed and write the rest of the year off.