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Felix's fresh start!

#1
After messing around on this diet for far too long and not sticking to it - I have decided to draw a line and get focused again. I have left my old diary (hopefully it will be deleted soon) and I'm starting fresh with this one.

For anyone who doesn't know me, I am 20 years old from Sheffield originally but living in Leeds with my boyfriend who is 21. He's a student at the moment and finishes uni in May this year (how scary/exciting!!!!) and he's lost 3 stone on CD since November. He's an ex rugby player and was tipped to be very succesful in the sport but then injured his leg and ribs and can no longer play - hence why he's on the diet as he carried on eating the way he did before but with none of the exercise. He's managed to go down 2 waist sizes and is looking very slim at the moment! Lucky bugger...
I work in an office (so sitting on my bum all day with the occasional walk to make a cup of coffee) and don't really do much else in the evenings. I'd love to go back to college and study art as I studied fashion at college before, but am waiting for the OH to finish uni so we can afford it!

I started Cambridge on 1st November 2010 and stuck to it 100% for five weeks straight. Then came christmas and it all went downhill from there. I've been sort of on the diet since Christmas, trying to get back in to it, and have lost about half a stone since the start of January. It's half a stone in the right direction, but I can't help dwelling on the fact that if I'd stuck to CD 100% from the start I probably would have finished by now :( It's also not good that I'm spending this much money and not really seeing the results I would be getting if I wasn't cheating all the time. I am not blaming anyone for this except myself, and I am actually really annoyed at myself!!! I keep intending to stick to it every week then it never happens and now it's half way through March and I'm wondering where the time has gone.

I know many people will think 'why now, if she has intended to stick to it so many times then why will this time be any different?' Well, I've been thinking about it and this weekend I went on a massive hunt to find a dress to wear next weekend for my friends 21st birthday night out. I must have tried on a million different dresses and all of them looked horrible on me. I wasn't able to walk in to the shops I love and pick up something off the rail and look great in it (I can't even fit in the likes of Topshop!!). This has kicked me up the backside because I hate not being able to wear the stuff I want to wear :( I know it's a bit shallow, but I love fashion and I see so many girls walking round wearing amazing clothes I would love to wear but my weight is holding me back. Also it was quite warm on Sunday and it has shocked me in to wanting to lose weight now.

I have many reasons for doing this diet. Over the past couple of years I have lost so much confidence and I've become a different person. I've always had problems with OCD but recently it has turned in to anxiety too and seems to be getting worse. I know this is not due to my weight but I think it would help a bit if I was happier with how I looked and it would help with how I feel mentally. I'll not go in to this too much though because I'll be here forever!!! Also, I HATE the summer. I love the sunshine and warmth but I always have to wear loads of layers and boil to death because I don't dare bare any skin. I would love to be able to just stick on a dress and some sandals and not worry about looking stupid in tights and a cardigan when it's boiling hot. I know I shouldn't care, because I see some women larger than me who are aren't bothered but it really does bother me. It's starting to get warmer now so I know I'm running out of time. It's also my 21st birthday in August and my Mum is doing a family party for me and I don't want to look horrible on photos, and I'd love to have a nice holiday with my boyfriend but I feel like I wouldn't enjoy it as I am right now.

So, sorry for the massive rant! I'm going to make some new goals for my fresh start:

- Get through 1 week without cheating.
- Beat my 5 week no cheating record!
- Fit in to the size 16 Topshop dress I bought ages ago and never fit in to (it's so gorgeous!!!)
- Also fit in to the size 14 Topshop dress I bought at the same time (also gorgeous)
- Make it to my 'official' first goal set by my CDC originally in November of 11 stone
- Up my water intake! (I've always struggled to drink the water I should, so I AM going to do it this time)

These are my mini goals for now. I don't know what my ultimate goal weight is yet, probably around 9 and a half stone as I'm 5ft 5.

So here's to day 1!

 
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#2
So day one (take 2) has been a success! Had my choc tetra for breakfast, one for dinner and have another one left for before bed. Had a mushroom omelette for tea and it was really yummy.

Only had 1 litre of water today though :(

Roll on day 2....
 
#4
Great story Felix! I went back to Uni and did an Art degree, I have two years left till I finish, but I took a gap year as I had my third daughter, who is now 1.

Hope you manage to stick to it...I think having a break seems to be most peoples downfall... :(
 
#5
determinator said:
HI and welcome back , you sound like you ave great reasons to make it work now and we are all here rooting for you :D
are you doing SS+ all the time or easing yourself into SS gently ?
Thank you :) I am determined to finish now!!! Back with a vengeance haha.

I am doing SS+ for now but thinking about doing SS because there's no room to cheat. My manager at work has started CD because of me and she's done really well on SS and says we could do it together haha. Shes lost 17lb in three weeks which is great!
 
#6
festivalgirl said:
Great story Felix! I went back to Uni and did an Art degree, I have two years left till I finish, but I took a gap year as I had my third daughter, who is now 1.

Hope you manage to stick to it...I think having a break seems to be most peoples downfall... :(
That's great that you went back to uni! There's a good art college in Leeds that does access to art and design part time over 2 years but it's very expensive. I'd like to do the 1 year full time course ideally but when the boyfriend has a good job (fingers crossed!!!!) hopefully I can do it :)

Yes having a break is what went wrong with me! Wish I'd never done it. There are a few who have had breaks and got straight back on it which is brilliant!
 
#7
I did the Access course first..for a year..I was lucky, as I had my girls, I was supported financially by the college.
 
#8
festivalgirl said:
I did the Access course first..for a year..I was lucky, as I had my girls, I was supported financially by the college.
Thats good. I like seeing people go back to education after having kids. My mum did the same when I was a toddler and my dad worked part time and looked after 4 of us and it was so worth it for her :)
 

Katyo

Full Member
#9
Hello lovely - now this is just the weirdest thing - I have been off CD since before xmas and started on Mon for the first time this year - thought I'd look you up as our weight losses mirrored eachother before - and here you are!!! We are mirroring again!!
Just a quick update - I have been off it totally since dec - unintentionally but hey ho its done now - and I know with me not to restart until I am 100% in the zone so I have bitten the bullet and its ding ding round two in this battle. (and sometimes it really does feel like a battle).
I have tried to do it slowly and sensibly but I just lose heart after a few days - I'm too used to feeling all flat bellied and empty in the first few days of CD! I even tried to "embrace my fatness" and shopped for loads of new stuff in 18's in the hope that i could learn to accept that this is who I am. But I just can't. I dont want to be this. I want to be me.
So! I am sitting here sipping my choc mint shake, basking in the success of one whole day completed but still feeling utterly miserable that I am back here again.
Anyway, I hope that knowing you have someone to commiserate ad congratulate with might make your journey a little easier, I am keeping my fingers crossed for you on Day 2 and hopefully we can both stick to it 100% like last time. Sending happy thoughts your way.....
 

mrschatterbox

2012..my year2b a size 10
#10
Hello gorgeous...well done on getting back on it...i'm the same, messed up but even moe determined this time around... xxx
 
#11
Katyo said:
Hello lovely - now this is just the weirdest thing - I have been off CD since before xmas and started on Mon for the first time this year - thought I'd look you up as our weight losses mirrored eachother before - and here you are!!! We are mirroring again!!
Just a quick update - I have been off it totally since dec - unintentionally but hey ho its done now - and I know with me not to restart until I am 100% in the zone so I have bitten the bullet and its ding ding round two in this battle. (and sometimes it really does feel like a battle).
I have tried to do it slowly and sensibly but I just lose heart after a few days - I'm too used to feeling all flat bellied and empty in the first few days of CD! I even tried to "embrace my fatness" and shopped for loads of new stuff in 18's in the hope that i could learn to accept that this is who I am. But I just can't. I dont want to be this. I want to be me.
So! I am sitting here sipping my choc mint shake, basking in the success of one whole day completed but still feeling utterly miserable that I am back here again.
Anyway, I hope that knowing you have someone to commiserate ad congratulate with might make your journey a little easier, I am keeping my fingers crossed for you on Day 2 and hopefully we can both stick to it 100% like last time. Sending happy thoughts your way.....

Wow how strange is that!!!!!! I remember you from before when we always used to lose the same every week! And now we have restarted at the same time :)
I know what you mean about being in the right frame of mind to do it. I think I'm finally there again now.
Hope you are still sticking to it 100%. I know we can do it together :D
 
#12
mrschatterbox said:
Hello gorgeous...well done on getting back on it...i'm the same, messed up but even moe determined this time around... xxx
Helloooo how are you? Thanks, I feel really motivated now!!!! Hope you do too :)
 
#13
So got through day 1 100% and been 100% today too :) My CDC just came round to weigh me. Last time I got weighed was 2 weeks ago and I had gained 2lb. Stuffed my face with takeaways ever since and I'VE LOST 3LB!!!!!!!! How is that even possible?!?! What a total fluke haha. It's given me great motivation to carry on now :D would have been gutted if I'd have put loads on!!!

So had my choc tetra this morning and had one for dinner. Drank 1l water so far and 3 or 4 coffees at work. Having some chicken and broccoli for tea :)

Bought some gorgeous shoes off eBay and they came today. I dunno if they are a bit small for me though, I can't tell :( also bought a black chiffon blouse from asos in an 18 that came today, but I think I should have got a 16! I am now a 16 in most shops but still always pick up an 18 and im always surprised when it's too big haha. It will be fine though cos I only bought it to wear open over a dress this weekend cos I dont dare get my arms out! Might post a pic of what I'm going to wear this weekend. Going to Birmingham for my friends 21st and they are all so stylish and I haven't seen them for about a year and half so I'm making a massive effort to look good!

OH also lost 3lb and looks ever so handsome as usual. He's going to start training for the great north run soon :D if he does it and raises loads of money I'll be really proud!!

Hope everyone is great this evening x
 
#14
Post what you are wearing, I love fashion, even though Im an 18 (nearly a 16 now!) I love clothes shopping, but i find it SO hard to find stuff I like to fit/look flattering...Plus I love vintage, and all the dresses are TINY!
 

mrschatterbox

2012..my year2b a size 10
#15
Wow well done for getting to size 16! That's fab! Ur so lucky to have ur oh on this plan too u can both keep each other motivated. Well done both of u. Xxx

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#16
festivalgirl said:
Post what you are wearing, I love fashion, even though Im an 18 (nearly a 16 now!) I love clothes shopping, but i find it SO hard to find stuff I like to fit/look flattering...Plus I love vintage, and all the dresses are TINY!
Same here!!!! I love everything in topshop but I can't get in their 16 yet :( and Leeds is so good for vintage shopping but I can only buy accessories because of the small sizes. Ive got a nice anchor print dress to wear. I'll take a pic now :)
 
#17
mrschatterbox said:
Wow well done for getting to size 16! That's fab! Ur so lucky to have ur oh on this plan too u can both keep each other motivated. Well done both of u. Xxx

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
I don't know how I'd do it on my own!!! He will probably have finished before me so I hope I don't fall off the wagon when he does :(
 

mrschatterbox

2012..my year2b a size 10
#18
Ah u won't babe just think by then u would maybe b close to target and U'd b inspired to keep going! Xxx

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mrschatterbox

2012..my year2b a size 10
#19
Festive I LOVE vintage too. Can't wait to get into some gorgeous gear xxx

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#20
My hubby started almost a week later, but has much less to lose, but he's a veggie, so I hope he will just eat really low fat/simple stuff for a while till I can catch him up...
 


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