After messing around on this diet for far too long and not sticking to it - I have decided to draw a line and get focused again. I have left my old diary (hopefully it will be deleted soon) and I'm starting fresh with this one.
For anyone who doesn't know me, I am 20 years old from Sheffield originally but living in Leeds with my boyfriend who is 21. He's a student at the moment and finishes uni in May this year (how scary/exciting!!!!) and he's lost 3 stone on CD since November. He's an ex rugby player and was tipped to be very succesful in the sport but then injured his leg and ribs and can no longer play - hence why he's on the diet as he carried on eating the way he did before but with none of the exercise. He's managed to go down 2 waist sizes and is looking very slim at the moment! Lucky bugger...
I work in an office (so sitting on my bum all day with the occasional walk to make a cup of coffee) and don't really do much else in the evenings. I'd love to go back to college and study art as I studied fashion at college before, but am waiting for the OH to finish uni so we can afford it!
I started Cambridge on 1st November 2010 and stuck to it 100% for five weeks straight. Then came christmas and it all went downhill from there. I've been sort of on the diet since Christmas, trying to get back in to it, and have lost about half a stone since the start of January. It's half a stone in the right direction, but I can't help dwelling on the fact that if I'd stuck to CD 100% from the start I probably would have finished by now
It's also not good that I'm spending this much money and not really seeing the results I would be getting if I wasn't cheating all the time. I am not blaming anyone for this except myself, and I am actually really annoyed at myself!!! I keep intending to stick to it every week then it never happens and now it's half way through March and I'm wondering where the time has gone.
I know many people will think 'why now, if she has intended to stick to it so many times then why will this time be any different?' Well, I've been thinking about it and this weekend I went on a massive hunt to find a dress to wear next weekend for my friends 21st birthday night out. I must have tried on a million different dresses and all of them looked horrible on me. I wasn't able to walk in to the shops I love and pick up something off the rail and look great in it (I can't even fit in the likes of Topshop!!). This has kicked me up the backside because I hate not being able to wear the stuff I want to wear I know it's a bit shallow, but I love fashion and I see so many girls walking round wearing amazing clothes I would love to wear but my weight is holding me back. Also it was quite warm on Sunday and it has shocked me in to wanting to lose weight now.
I have many reasons for doing this diet. Over the past couple of years I have lost so much confidence and I've become a different person. I've always had problems with OCD but recently it has turned in to anxiety too and seems to be getting worse. I know this is not due to my weight but I think it would help a bit if I was happier with how I looked and it would help with how I feel mentally. I'll not go in to this too much though because I'll be here forever!!! Also, I HATE the summer. I love the sunshine and warmth but I always have to wear loads of layers and boil to death because I don't dare bare any skin. I would love to be able to just stick on a dress and some sandals and not worry about looking stupid in tights and a cardigan when it's boiling hot. I know I shouldn't care, because I see some women larger than me who are aren't bothered but it really does bother me. It's starting to get warmer now so I know I'm running out of time. It's also my 21st birthday in August and my Mum is doing a family party for me and I don't want to look horrible on photos, and I'd love to have a nice holiday with my boyfriend but I feel like I wouldn't enjoy it as I am right now.
So, sorry for the massive rant! I'm going to make some new goals for my fresh start:
- Get through 1 week without cheating.
- Beat my 5 week no cheating record!
- Fit in to the size 16 Topshop dress I bought ages ago and never fit in to (it's so gorgeous!!!)
- Also fit in to the size 14 Topshop dress I bought at the same time (also gorgeous)
- Make it to my 'official' first goal set by my CDC originally in November of 11 stone
- Up my water intake! (I've always struggled to drink the water I should, so I AM going to do it this time)
These are my mini goals for now. I don't know what my ultimate goal weight is yet, probably around 9 and a half stone as I'm 5ft 5.
So here's to day 1!
For anyone who doesn't know me, I am 20 years old from Sheffield originally but living in Leeds with my boyfriend who is 21. He's a student at the moment and finishes uni in May this year (how scary/exciting!!!!) and he's lost 3 stone on CD since November. He's an ex rugby player and was tipped to be very succesful in the sport but then injured his leg and ribs and can no longer play - hence why he's on the diet as he carried on eating the way he did before but with none of the exercise. He's managed to go down 2 waist sizes and is looking very slim at the moment! Lucky bugger...
I work in an office (so sitting on my bum all day with the occasional walk to make a cup of coffee) and don't really do much else in the evenings. I'd love to go back to college and study art as I studied fashion at college before, but am waiting for the OH to finish uni so we can afford it!
I started Cambridge on 1st November 2010 and stuck to it 100% for five weeks straight. Then came christmas and it all went downhill from there. I've been sort of on the diet since Christmas, trying to get back in to it, and have lost about half a stone since the start of January. It's half a stone in the right direction, but I can't help dwelling on the fact that if I'd stuck to CD 100% from the start I probably would have finished by now
It's also not good that I'm spending this much money and not really seeing the results I would be getting if I wasn't cheating all the time. I am not blaming anyone for this except myself, and I am actually really annoyed at myself!!! I keep intending to stick to it every week then it never happens and now it's half way through March and I'm wondering where the time has gone.I know many people will think 'why now, if she has intended to stick to it so many times then why will this time be any different?' Well, I've been thinking about it and this weekend I went on a massive hunt to find a dress to wear next weekend for my friends 21st birthday night out. I must have tried on a million different dresses and all of them looked horrible on me. I wasn't able to walk in to the shops I love and pick up something off the rail and look great in it (I can't even fit in the likes of Topshop!!). This has kicked me up the backside because I hate not being able to wear the stuff I want to wear
I know it's a bit shallow, but I love fashion and I see so many girls walking round wearing amazing clothes I would love to wear but my weight is holding me back. Also it was quite warm on Sunday and it has shocked me in to wanting to lose weight now.I have many reasons for doing this diet. Over the past couple of years I have lost so much confidence and I've become a different person. I've always had problems with OCD but recently it has turned in to anxiety too and seems to be getting worse. I know this is not due to my weight but I think it would help a bit if I was happier with how I looked and it would help with how I feel mentally. I'll not go in to this too much though because I'll be here forever!!! Also, I HATE the summer. I love the sunshine and warmth but I always have to wear loads of layers and boil to death because I don't dare bare any skin. I would love to be able to just stick on a dress and some sandals and not worry about looking stupid in tights and a cardigan when it's boiling hot. I know I shouldn't care, because I see some women larger than me who are aren't bothered but it really does bother me. It's starting to get warmer now so I know I'm running out of time. It's also my 21st birthday in August and my Mum is doing a family party for me and I don't want to look horrible on photos, and I'd love to have a nice holiday with my boyfriend but I feel like I wouldn't enjoy it as I am right now.
So, sorry for the massive rant! I'm going to make some new goals for my fresh start:
- Get through 1 week without cheating.
- Beat my 5 week no cheating record!
- Fit in to the size 16 Topshop dress I bought ages ago and never fit in to (it's so gorgeous!!!)
- Also fit in to the size 14 Topshop dress I bought at the same time (also gorgeous)
- Make it to my 'official' first goal set by my CDC originally in November of 11 stone
- Up my water intake! (I've always struggled to drink the water I should, so I AM going to do it this time)
These are my mini goals for now. I don't know what my ultimate goal weight is yet, probably around 9 and a half stone as I'm 5ft 5.
So here's to day 1!
