Food Issues all your life?

[Delli]

thanks KD! good to know im not completely loopy, and even if i am, at least im not on my own!

 

[Mumof2girls]

Some very good points here.. I could have written most of them myself. I suppose then its good to look at our eating patterns like alcoholism.. we may lose the weight but we will always have food issues?

I know I am an emotional eater like a lot of you, but I also eat when I am happy... again, maybe it goes back to childhood etc... but if I make myself aware of it before a binge strikes (and I wouldnt always call them a binge, just over-eating or eating the wrong foods)... then hopefully I will beat it.

 

[Bagpuss]

I'm a binger. I got to goal in September 07 and kept at target until Christmas. Since then, I've been losing and gaining the same 10-11 lb. I'm currently 7lb above my goal and 11lb over my lowest weight. I react to stress and uncertainty by overeating and 'treating' myself. I recognise now that I'll probably always have this issue. two things that give me heart: first, since losing almost 10 stone (heaviest weight 5 years ago) my binges are nothing like they used to be, either in frequency or sheer volume of food. In a sense the quantity doesn't matter - it's the fact that I'll still sit down and eat 4 hot cross buns followed by a bar of chocolate after a particularly crappy day at work that bugs me - but I do eat less, and stop sooner, since losing weight. second, the pause between a period of 'to hell with it' and losing the weight again has grown much shorter.

I'm currently very worried that I'm letting my personal 'danger zone', 2-3 lb above target, creep up and up and I know I need to address the binge issue NOW. I've learned for myself what other maintainers posted about while I was still on CD - that you can never afford to take your eye off the ball. I wasn't really prepared for the fact that my weight and eating issues were going to be a lifelong issue. I need to keep revisiting my goals and what losing weight gave me. And what it can't give me, and can't solve, and can't be expected to solve.

 

[Mumof2girls]

Can I ask, for those of you at maintenance, I know I have to accept that it is a lifelong battle (could probably use a better word there)... but is it AS hard as losing the weight in the first place.... has the happiness of the weight loss in itself made it a bit easier?

Looking for hope here.... at a low moment. I'd hate to think that if I got to goal that I would still be struggling on a daily basis.

 

[KD]

but is it AS hard as losing the weight in the first place....

Umm. I find that hard to answer, because it's so different. In many ways it's easier. Other ways it's harder Sometimes the 'harder' seems impossible.

I know when I was losing the weight, there was that joy of seeing the scales go down. Seeing them stay the same day after day, week after week...well, the novelty seems to wear off.

Also, there is nobody cheering you on, and I found that quite hard. It felt like a very lonesome journey...one with little guidance and support...one where I had to work out the rules and 'cures' myself.

There's also the length of the journey. When dieting, you can see the end, and chose to go for it or not. Seems to be less to lose. After all, if you don't 'go for it' you may stay the same, but with maintenance, it's easy to pile it all back on.

Keeping your eye on the ball gets tiresome after a while. People don't mention your weightloss any more, you begin to forget how fab it is to be slim. When the binge monster arrives, it's scary. Knocks your confidence for 6.

There again, it is fab being slim and the good days are easy. I don't even think about them any more.

The sheer fact that we are maintaining, only goes to prove that it's a better place to be

 

[JustJo]

Tracey and KD: Lots of things you've said are very true, so you're certainly not alone! (You knew that anyway, right? )

Sorry to disappoint, but I feel that, in many ways, maintenance is harder than losing weight in the first place. When you're on cd you have a goal in sight, and know that in so many months/weeks/whatever you'll be finished and where you want to be. Once I started maintaining, it suddenly occurred to me that this is forever - I had know 'end of the road' to aim for, after which i'd then be able to start stuffing my face again! I find that it can be a bit of a depressing thought at times.

I also agree that eating crap makes very little sense, yet we still do it - I too enjoy every mouthful of a healthy meal, yet just stuff the unhealthy food down, and feel bloated and rubbish afterwards!

My main problem times are special occasions - Christmas (which of course lasts for a few weeks, running into New Year), Birthdays (which seem to be a week of celebrations in our house!), holidays (of which I have quite a lot of), etc. I still can't get rid of the thinking that these are times to 'treat' myself and over-indulge. I always come out of the other end of these times having gained weight, and finding myself having to diet again for a while to get it back off again. It's become a bit of a frustrating cycle, bearing in mind that I went away for four holidays last year, and obviously had one Christmas and a Birthday (not to mention the Birthdays for my OH and two kids) - that's a minimum of six occasions, meaning that on average of every two months i'm gaining weight and having to diet again.

Sorry, i'm rambling now!

Anyhow, on a normal day-to-day basis, when i'm in my routine of work, etc, I can control what I eat, and enjoy the 'healthy' me, but my food demons do still haunt me at other times. Of course, i'm hoping that will get better with time, and the good news is that it's been almost three years since I lost my weight, and i'm actually now weighing a little lower than I did back then. My way isn't ideal, but I think that, so long as you keep your eye on the ball, and are prepared to correct any gains immediately, you'll be just fine. Once I became slim, there was no way I was going to become 'fat' again.


Jo x

 

[minilady]

I'm a lot happier trying to maintain than I was struggling to lose the weight.

I've tried to lose weight for nearly 30 years and I don't ever remember a day in that time when I didn't look at myself in the mirror and like what I saw. Food and weight has dominated my life. Now I am slim I seem to able to appreciate myself more. Most days I'm on an even keel and I honestly don't worry about the foods I'm eating as I don't overeat at mealtimes and the foods I enjoy are healthy. My tastes have definately changed since following CD. It's if a binge has happened that the old insecurities start flooding back and I jump on the scales and panic if I see a lb has crept on, in these times I feel quite down and things seem harder than they actually are.

When I was overweight I constantly binged, now I'm at goal the binges are a lot fewer and I am starting to be able to control them a little more. I still go through periods of panic though.

I think maintainance is different for everyone, it depends on what food issues you have and whether once you've reached goal you can or want to work on these issues.

Tracey
x

 

[Mumof2girls]

Thanks very much for your honesty. I suppose it would be tough not having the 'buzz' of seeing yourself getting slimming every week.. but if one thing comes of this, its that while I am dieting, it is good to already be considering how to handle maintenance...that could have been where I (and possibly a lot of us) have failed before.

Thanks again...

 

[minilady]

Tracey and KD: Lots of things you've said are very true, so you're certainly not alone! (You knew that anyway, right? )




Once I became slim, there was no way I was going to become 'fat' again.

Jo x

Hi Jo

We must have been posting at the same time I quite agree, no way do I want to put that weight back on, and I won't

Jo well done for maintaining for 3 years that's wonderful. Do you feel being a CDC has helped to keep you on the straight and narrow? I feel that's helping me, sort of gives me a motivation IYKWIM.

Tracey
x

 

[JustJo]

Hi Jo

We must have been posting at the same time I quite agree, no way do I want to put that weight back on, and I won't

Jo well done for maintaining for 3 years that's wonderful. Do you feel being a CDC has helped to keep you on the straight and narrow? I feel that's helping me, sort of gives me a motivation IYKWIM.

Tracey
x

Yes, we must've been!

I agree with your other post, in the sense that I am certainly a lot happier now, even though I find it somewhat 'daunting' at times. When i'm in control (which is the majority), then I feel great about myself, and, well I guess kind of 'smug' that i've done this and can continue doing it. You're right though, that on 'bad' days I think I overreact, and panic that it will all go to pot! That notion has faded a bit with time though, as I now know from experience that I can easily lose any minor weight gains - if i've done it for this long, I can continue doing so, right?

Thank you for the compliment. I became a cdc pretty much as I got to goal, and I definitely believe that it's helped to keep me on the straight and narrow. On Sunday, for instance, I just came home after being away for ten days, and felt fat and bloated from all the carbs i'd eaten and beer i'd drank! It would have been easy for me to continue 'indulging' for at least another week, as i'm still on my hols and not back at work until Monday (i'm a teacher). However, because I knew I had two Cambridge sessions this week, it motivated me to get straight back on the horse Monday morning, as I didn't want my clients to think 'Christ, she's gained a bit'! It also helps that none of my work colleagues have ever known me as a 'fat person', as i'd just finished uni ('mature' student!) when I got to goal. Most of the people I spend time with now have no idea that I ever had a problem with my weight, and are always commenting on how disciplined I am with food. I think it would be a lot easier to have slipped back if I wasn't a cdc, and still only associated myself with people who thought of me as 'fat Jo'... if that makes sense.

I have a lot of clients who are afraid of gaining all their weight back after reaching goal, and I like to think of myself as an example of the fact that it doesn't have to happen, and maintaining is achievable.


Jo x

 

[JustJo]

Thanks very much for your honesty. I suppose it would be tough not having the 'buzz' of seeing yourself getting slimming every week.. but if one thing comes of this, its that while I am dieting, it is good to already be considering how to handle maintenance...that could have been where I (and possibly a lot of us) have failed before.

Thanks again...

It's certainly a good thing that you're thinking about it now, as I think you're less likely to simply fall into eating what you like when you like!

At the end of the day, however tough maintenance can sometimes be, there are plenty of people on here who are proof that it can be done. I also believe that going without food for so long teaches you to appreciate 'good' food - I now enjoy an awful lot of healthy foods that I really didn't like before.

I'm going on a bit now, but... I also believe that it's important to stick to your original goal. On many previous diets, i'd lose two or three stone before quitting, and the weight always went back on again. If you're still overweight, you don't tend to notice the weight creeping back up. Once you're in a 'slim' size, you can really feel the difference with just a few pounds gained, and you also have the motivation to stay slim, because you are slim!


Jo x

 

[KD]

Once you're in a 'slim' size, you can really feel the difference with just a few pounds gained, and you also have the motivation to stay slim, because you are slim!
Jo x

So true. I can feel a 3 pound gain.

It is the 'forever' that gets me, but as Tracey said, I am happier being slim. It hasn't sorted out every area of my life, but it's helped in some. My confidence has improved, I enjoy being able to move my body.

I often think about becoming a CDC to help me really. Not that I don't want to help others, I spend most of my working day doing that (I hope), but becoming a CDC would feel almost like a present to myself. It would give me another reason to stay on track when I went through spells of hating myself, but also that ready supply of shakes would come in useful

But anyway...so despite the downs of maintaining, the pros are so worth it. I would never want to be back trying to lose that 8 stone again. Never...ever.

 

[hopefilly]

Im glad Im not loopy all on my own lol xxx.

 

[minilady]

Yes, we must've been!

I agree with your other post, in the sense that I am certainly a lot happier now, even though I find it somewhat 'daunting' at times. When i'm in control (which is the majority), then I feel great about myself, and, well I guess kind of 'smug' that i've done this and can continue doing it. You're right though, that on 'bad' days I think I overreact, and panic that it will all go to pot! That notion has faded a bit with time though, as I now know from experience that I can easily lose any minor weight gains - if i've done it for this long, I can continue doing so, right?

You're right! Glad to hear the overreacting fades in time That I feel (for me) is the danger point, when I am at my most vulnerable and could potentially do the most damage. In the past I've binged felt guilt etc. and binged again normally nightly If I can learn to accept the occasional binge without freaking out and having another one, I think life will be a lot easier. I am trying to do this now and I'm getting there

Thank you for the compliment. I became a cdc pretty much as I got to goal, and I definitely believe that it's helped to keep me on the straight and narrow. On Sunday, for instance, I just came home after being away for ten days, and felt fat and bloated from all the carbs i'd eaten and beer i'd drank! It would have been easy for me to continue 'indulging' for at least another week, as i'm still on my hols and not back at work until Monday (i'm a teacher). However, because I knew I had two Cambridge sessions this week, it motivated me to get straight back on the horse Monday morning, as I didn't want my clients to think 'Christ, she's gained a bit'!

It keeps me motivated for the same reasons. I knew I would feel this way and this was a major reason for becoming a CDC.


I have a lot of clients who are afraid of gaining all their weight back after reaching goal, and I like to think of myself as an example of the fact that it doesn't have to happen, and maintaining is achievable.

Exactly




I'm going on a bit now, but... I also believe that it's important to stick to your original goal. On many previous diets, i'd lose two or three stone before quitting, and the weight always went back on again. If you're still overweight, you don't tend to notice the weight creeping back up. Once you're in a 'slim' size, you can really feel the difference with just a few pounds gained, and you also have the motivation to stay slim, because you are slim!

I totally agree, every diet pre CD I embarked on I never reached my goal, was always a stone or 2 from my goal weight. I personally felt a failure every time as I never quite succeeded in my mission. I never looked at my loss I actually acheived as a positive thing, always thought negatively that once again I had failed, so as soon as I was off the diet I was back to binge mode.



I often think about becoming a CDC to help me really. Not that I don't want to help others, I spend most of my working day doing that (I hope), but becoming a CDC would feel almost like a present to myself. It would give me another reason to stay on track when I went through spells of hating myself, but also that ready supply of shakes would come in useful

Lol Never a truer word spoken
You'd make a great CDC KD. I'd have felt privileged if you'd been mine!

 

[JustJo]

So true. I can feel a 3 pound gain.

It is the 'forever' that gets me, but as Tracey said, I am happier being slim. It hasn't sorted out every area of my life, but it's helped in some. My confidence has improved, I enjoy being able to move my body.

I often think about becoming a CDC to help me really. Not that I don't want to help others, I spend most of my working day doing that (I hope), but becoming a CDC would feel almost like a present to myself. It would give me another reason to stay on track when I went through spells of hating myself, but also that ready supply of shakes would come in useful

But anyway...so despite the downs of maintaining, the pros are so worth it. I would never want to be back trying to lose that 8 stone again. Never...ever.

It's definitely the 'forever' bit that feels daunting, but I try not to think of anything in terms of 'forever' anyway! Of course, being slim can't solve everything, but I think it makes a huge difference to a lot of things - i'm not sure i'd have been as confident embarking on my new career had I still been fat, and I actually believe that being slim may have helped me get jobs, too... although that's a debate for another thread.

You'd make an excellent cdc, KD. Perhaps you should go for it.
You're right, too - the great thing about being a cdc is having the ready supply of packs... and the bad thing about being a cdc is having the ready supply of packs. I do sometimes believe i'd have managed my goal weight in a more 'conventional' manner if I didn't have a huge stash of diet in my office, but then, maybe I wouldn't have managed it at all?

I too never want (and never will) to lose that six stone again, but I can cope with the occasional 7lbs!


Jo x

 

[JustJo]

You're right! Glad to hear the overreacting fades in time That I feel (for me) is the danger point, when I am at my most vulnerable and could potentially do the most damage. In the past I've binged felt guilt etc. and binged again normally nightly If I can learn to accept the occasional binge without freaking out and having another one, I think life will be a lot easier. I am trying to do this now and I'm getting there

Yes, it definitely fades, simply because the longer you maintain for, the more confidence you have that you can maintain for life. I think it's only natural to be scared of ruining all of your hard work, but nine months of maintenance is no mean feat, so i'm sure you'll be just fine.

It keeps me motivated for the same reasons. I knew I would feel this way and this was a major reason for becoming a CDC.

I totally agree, every diet pre CD I embarked on I never reached my goal, was always a stone or 2 from my goal weight. I personally felt a failure every time as I never quite succeeded in my mission. I never looked at my loss I actually acheived as a positive thing, always thought negatively that once again I had failed, so as soon as I was off the diet I was back to binge mode.

It's probably a combination of both that has helped to keep you on the straight and narrow, along with your will and determination of course!

I'm not sure that I ever thought i'd failed before, as getting down into a size 14/16 felt like a huge achievement to me at the time - I don't think I actually believed that I was ever 'meant' to be any thinner than that, at the time. I'm not quite sure why I gained the weight back so quickly before doing cd (I probably never maintained for more than a week!) - perhaps my head wasn't in the right place anyway, but I really just didn't seem to notice it creeping back on. Those elasticated waists have a lot to answer for.

You'd make a great CDC KD. I'd have felt privileged if you'd been mine!

Wouldn't she just?!


Jo x

 

[NooNoo1966]

What an interesing read! I am a serial VLC dieter and before that WW, SW, you name it I have tried it! But CD has been the most successful for me. I was an overweight child (altho not by today's standards! - I am 42 now) and got sent to a dietician. As a child I ate in secret and hid the evidence and to this day don't really remember why as I come from a loving family and had a balanced upbringing. My family were/are religious and maybe it was my way of rebelling - who knows!!

I fear the normal "day to day" of eating when I reach a healthy BMI but I have to say this time round it does feel different and on the numerous "breaks" from CD (weekends away, holidays etc etc) I have been indulgent and then cut back and have ever only put 2lbs over a 6 weeks period max when I was off the programme last summer. I have been seeing my CDC for about a year now and have lost 2 1/2 stone this time round, not brilliant as I would have reached my goal if I had SS-d all the time, months ago but feel that for me this time my attitude has changed towards food which is a real plus.

My husband is a real "foodie" and is overweight so I don' think I will ever be a size 10 but my aim is a curvy 14 which isn't too far away now. I wouldn't say I am a binger, I just love all the wrong stuff and love starchy carbs, cakes, bread, rice, pasta, which are my trigger foods so I try to keep off them or steer towards healthier ie brown rice, bread etc. However I have noticed food is my coping mechanism and I veer towards the fridge/biscuit tin when I feel stressed/happy/angry - any emotion really!

I have joined a gym this time round but only do swimming at the moment which has made me feel better in myself as I am doing something positive... I raise a large glass of flavoured water to us all and hope we can all get rid of our food demons!!!