Food without the angst - Vegan SW

Aaaaargh, I let myself get hungry and saw the spring rolls no-one ate last night. 8 syns gone on something I didn't really want. Back to the kitchen to knock up some hummous with peppers and have that as a proper meal with a big salad.
 
I've screwed up big time with chocolate. A sadly unpleasant learning experience. i got stressed, badly stressed but didn't admit it to myself or deal with it properly. I've had well over a weeks allowance of syns.

Recovery plan for the WI the week after next (this week is a bank holiday) Light on the syns and heavy on the speed soup. But I know if I push myself too far on the no syn route and speed soup I will have an inner rebellion and blow it again. So, being realistic, perhaps four or five syns a day and at least one liquidiser ful of soup a day with other foods I like in the evening to allow for the getting tired and resentful about the restrictions feelings.

And inner work on mindfulness regarding bad feelings. Acknowledge and talk about them, ah blow it, I am getting better, just this one particular issue got to me more than I thought it did.
 
I got home to find a dhal made of spinach and lentils, salt and pepper. Lucky me, it's nice ;)
 
Just been reading through your diary and your food looks fab & you are v.inspirational. I'm a newish vegan and back on the SW wagon.
I've never done SW while being vegan. Do you find it easy? I'm a sucker for vegan junk food ? xx
 
Hi, slrayner, thanks for visiting. Have you a diary yourself? I've only ever done SW as a vegan so didn't have to adapt anything except my crap eating habits. Its funny how people tend to think of vegans as so healthy isn't it? Perhaps in the old days when you could hardly even find a vegan biscuit in the supermarket, but now, it is so easy, with loads of junk.

Fortunately the Fry's original burgers are really low syn, and the Linda McC red onion sausages are free. Tbh, I do feel better when I'm eating fresh foods. Ha ha though to the idea that SW teaches healthy eating, the synthetic rubbish that they promote is far from healthy, although it can be very healthy when used carefully.

I do find it very easy when my head is in the right place but as I eat as a coping mechanism for stress and oh gosh, have I had some stress for the last eight years or so, sometimes it goes a bit haywire.

Hence the two packets of Lidl dark chocolate and amaretto eggs a few days back, and the rest. Still, I am getting better with dealing with my known stresses, it's when I'm not admitting them to myself that it goes wrong.

Food lately has been very focused, no syns for a couple of days and lots of soup. Today's was rather good. Tinned carrots liquidised with almond milk and the Indonesian spice mix that includes a bit of miso. I think it would be nice with the Koko coconut milk too, not the Alpro. I think that would be too sweet.

Later I'm having a warm rice salad with tomato, pickled peppers and chick peas.

Last thing at night: 2 x HX B of poridge, the rest of my almond milk and about 1 syns worth of cinnamon agave syrup
 
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05.04.2015

Mostly apples, tangerines and a big casserole of spicy cauliflower based stewy soupy stuff that lasted most of the day - no one else liked it. Finished up this evening with a bowl of my 2 x HX B porridge oats, almond milk and a chopped apple. 1 biscuit - 2.5 syns

There is the option of a a special WI tomorrow despite the bank holiday which I plan to go to. I fear a gain as I had two extremely chocolatey and biscuity days but as I've been very focused since then and also just feel smaller possibly I will have a small loss. How strange and exciting to have no idea. No scale hopping in this house anymore.

I've spent a couple of hours sorting clothes and putting too small clothes away in vacuum storage bags so now everything I can access fits, it is a good feeling. Of course, this has meant trying on clothes and I've been pleasantly surprised as to what I can now wear. What a history I have with my clothes now. I can see a garment and remember it being too big for me, and when it was that it again became too small. Whilst I was doing this I had a thought. Do I actually want to look the same, and wear the same clothes as I was wearing last time I was a size I was happy with? I'm not sure about this, I hate throwing good things out but they would not be wasted as I would freecycle them or give them to a charity shop. There are some lovely things I am very eager to wear again, but I've been very selective about which jumpers I put away and which went into the discard pile.

Previously I would think, 'nice colour, right size'. But now I'm also thinking, 'a bit bobblier than I like', or 'nothing special about this jumper, why store it, I deserve a nicer one than this when I am that size' so I have also ended up with a large bag that for convenience's sake will go into a clothes bank in a supermarket car park tomorrow.

This, I think, is a very positive step in valuing myself more.
 
06.04.2015

4lbs off!!!!!! This should be tempered by the fact that it was a morning WI, and normally I get weighed in the evening and I was wearing lighter clothes as it is a lovely spring/early summer feeling day today. But still ... I'll have to be extra focused to keep that up next week. I shall make a point of wearing the same clothes though :)

Food today - 1 very very wonderful Tesco Free From ice cream cornet, worth 10.5 syns
 
I looked at my SW chaRt, I've hit my old Club 10 target, I was last there on 10.08.2014. I don't know what my Club 10 target is this time as I started from a lower weight this time. Woo hoo :) :) :) This feels very exciting.

Edit. I have just worked out that my new Club 10 figure will be 15st6lbs so another stone to go. Gosh, and when I've got there, it's only another three and a half stone to go till target. I'll change my sig to give me some mini targets

It's crazy. The weight I'm aiming for tells me I'm overweight according to the BMI charts, so we shall see how I feel when I get there. However, I am heavy framed, with big wrists and wide shoulders with the residue of more muscles than the average woman due to my years of training for strength.
 
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Back on the veggie soup for a few days now. Assuming that my body responds well to a regime of high sugary fatty foods one day and a very limited calory and healthy foods for the next few days I gave myself permission to eat easter eggs and mucho other chocolate goodies. Aaaaagh, Tesco bourbon chocolate spread was put on this earth as a snare for vegans who want to lose weight.

Anyway, we shall see. It will be a fairly energetic day today as I've ten large fence panels being delivered any moment now and they will need taking through the house, painting and the old panels clearing out .... lots of jobs. M'boy is meant to be helping him but getting him up and going will be a job in itself, I'm expecting .

DH is extremely down, so although of course I am very concerned about him, I have to guard against getting caught up in his depression. I shall encourage him to go back to the doctor and go back on his anti Ds, they do help. Talking of doctors, I had a blood test a while back for diabetes and am due there next week for the results. fingers crossed. My recent eating behavior isn't anything that would be good for someone with diabetes.
 
07.04.2015

Oh the fence. My boy helped me get them through the house into the back garden, then later on we tried fitting some into the slots between the concrete posts. It was very hard as you have to lift the panels to the top of the posts and then slide them in. These things are far heavier than I expected. But the concrete posts have shifted in the ground a bit and the panels don't fit in all the bays. Some serious adjusting and fixing will have to be done. Oh poop, me and my little red drill will be facing our most serious challenge yet.

DH did want to help but he is so exhausted. He thinks that is why he was so down yesterday. Today he has been fitted with a heart monitor to see if there was any underlying heart condition that made him collapse last year. He thinks it was all down to the embolisms but it's good to have every thing checked. More news is that the bloke who saw him unconscious and did not help did actually get sacked. this man saw my husband lying unconscious on the floor in a corridor and photographed him and sent the images to my DH's manager to show them one of the engineers sleeping on the job. Sheet. Poor G came home very confused with a face all bloody were he had fallen when he lost consciousness. This was about a year or so ago, and he is going back to shift work tomorrow, we're all a bit worried about it tbh.

Anyway, food. I made a delicious soup with tomatoes and butter beans flavoured with dill, lots of dill, smoked garlic and onion salt. I had that for most of the day, had a couple of bananas and then made a dressing of kidney beans and bouillion powder in the liquidiser wich I had on broccoli. I've also been eating ryvita and the Tesco cheddar style cream cheese, I think I can have 40g of that so it's been 2 x HXB and some minimal syns as I still haven't got round to putting batteries in the food scale. Oh yes, there were some roasted courgettes and carrots too. Roasted carrots are so nice. Slice them,spray with frylight and bung in the oven. I'm not sure if they are an S food as I've put my book down somewhere.

I hope to stay predominantly on the soup and veggies this week, it will make a difference being weighed in the evening afte the big loss last week.
 
08.04.2015

I've stayed focused with food again

4 or 5 ryvitas (HXB) with a most marvelous sort of mexicanish dip - 1 tin of kidney beans, drained, some cooked broccoli, a tspn cumin. tspn coccoa powder, onion salt, tomato puree and minced chillies So a small amount of syns for the chilli stuff and the cocoa powder but it was very good.

Soup made of broccoli and lentils

Curry made of red lentils, onions, sweet potato and ordinary potatoes cooked in coconut milk

Snacks - bananas and cherry tomatoes
 
09.04.2015

I have been so very very tired today. My son has a friend staying for a couple of nights and although it's been a holiday for them my boy still needs to keep to some sort of routine. Left to himself I could see it going on till the early hours of the morning so I stayed up till 1.00 to make sure they went to bed. Obviously this didn't work too well - the new sofa bed is SO badly designed and uncomfortable- as I woke this morning to find my boy on the settee and the guest in his bed. I went out shopping and came back to find them both in his bed ... both carefully wrapped in their own duvets ... awwwww.

Anyway, I've stayed awake and made SENSIBLE food choices.Roast carrots and potatoes with home made hummus with pickled peppers in it and while it was cooking I was seriously hungry, that tired hunger that screams for something in the belly but is really a need for more energy. I managed to restrict myself to raw porridge oats as a B choice with coconut milk.

Otherwise, I can't remember what I've eaten. Oh yes, a banana and a couple of mouthfuls of a toasted bagel as I was checking to see if it really was as overdone as it looked. I'll cook some fried rice for us all in a while, with frylight and lots of veggies and put more oil on DH's portion.

Ooooooooh, 3.5 lbs to get to having lost my first stone. Yay! More good stuff, my daughter will be here next weekend, staying a couple of days whilst en-route from living hundreds and hundreds of miles away to a town only a hundred miles away.

ETA made the fried rice with Koko coconut milk, red pepper, green beans, onion and peas, and did a sauce ofred kidney beans whizzed into a runny past with some instant stock and smoked paprika. Flipping yummy that was. More fruit, a mango and another couple of bananas. so not very strong on the S foods but all good healthy choices. Particularly seeing how tired I was. I've been baking pain au chocolat and cinnamon swirls plus doing chocolate covered crumpets as well and not touched a crumb.
 
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10.04.2015

Prepared a large quantity of soup to keep myself going until this evening. Butter beans, tomato, chilli, stock, dill. About to also prepare other's food so will eat my own first. Nothing like a full tummy to beat temptation.

ETA: Breakfast was melon and banana and pineapple, skipped lunch, later on I had a couple of slices of marinaded and baked tofu with a large mixed salad and more fruit salad


Snack: Grapes

Evening meal, two bowls of the soup I made earlier.

Snack later can be some porridge

A choice has been coconut milk

Snack - 5 breaded mushrooms. I'll claim 15 syns for them - I'd thrown away the packet and the website didn't give Morrison's own brand, only Aunt Bessies. But then they might have been Aunt Bessies. They are the only two makes I buy as they are dairy free.
 
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11.04.2015

Here's an interesting article about why we things that we know are bad for us. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/obesely-speaking/201504/we-break-our-own-hearts

Food: Breakfast, 1 whole box (6) free Linda McC free sausages and a tin of mushy peas

Lunch, 4 small slices of wholemeal bread (2 x HX B) and a load of salad to make 2 rather mundane salad sandwichs, a few bananas and strawberries

The next meal, too early for dinner, too late for tea, was a wonderful soup made by OH with lots of different veggies, chick peas, almond milk and coconut milk. He's not completely sure how much milk I've had in my bowl but we could assume its at least one A choice, probably more.
 
Just logged in for a look to prepare for if/when I move as that's my healthy restart. You're so dedicated - great it's all paid off. X
 
Well, hello you ;) Thanks X Why wait till if/when you move? If you don't move you'll still be in the same house and the same body. If you start tomorrow you could be moving when your body is already closer to being how you want it to be.

But, hey, I understand not being in the right place emotionally, this was a suggestion, not a hassle.
 
12.04.2015

Brunch, sitting in the garden. 2 small orangy things and 4 ryvita with homemade hummus.

Now to improvise some fencing. The panels aren't fitting properly, I'm going to try nails and if that doesn't work, large screws and/or bolts. But that will need a big drill bit, maybe a drill with a bigger chuck, which I don't have. I have a hammer, a small amount of strength, and a teenage son, which is why nails are the first option.

ETA: I've been checking dates, I think this will be my 4th WI next week, so close to losing my first stone :)
 
Well, hello you ;) Thanks X Why wait till if/when you move? If you don't move you'll still be in the same house and the same body. If you start tomorrow you could be moving when your body is already closer to being how you want it to be. But, hey, I understand not being in the right place emotionally, this was a suggestion, not a hassle.

Haha this made me laugh because as I wrote it I thought 'what a cop out that sounds'. I have been cutting down and being 'good' but proper dieting while shifting everything into storage or 'round my nans, as well as with all the hassle we are having, plus working full time is tricky as cooking time is non existent and most evenings I just want a bowl of cereal. My aim was always: get it done and then really focus. I will have to register with new GP and that will motivate me I can tell you. If we stay I will be on it immediately. Probably calorie counting again this time as it worked really well last time.

Very impressed with your willpower, and the fact your weight is much lower than it was.
 
You never know, with all that extra activity you might be losing anyway. Nowt wrong with a bowl of cereal in the evening anyway.

I'm quite chuffed today, went to W! and lost 1.5lbs. Which takes me to exactly were I was the last time I went to that group on the first of September last year. I was celebrating losing nearly 2st, it's taken me nearly 1st to get there this time. That was when my mother was increasingly ill, I did go to another group just the once in November, got home and got the phone call that she had died, SW went totally out of the window until a month or so ago.

Anyway, after each set back I like to feel I get a little stronger. Which is lucky as my brother is far from coping on his own, and he is a long way away and I have family closer to home who also need support. Phew, the boy who has severe anxiety and rarely (and I mean rarely!) gets to school is meant to be taking the easiest and least stressful exam option they've got for him, and going to college in September. I'm rather expecting this to be rather challenging.

Food today hasn't been anything except 10 syns worth of fudge. Not had all of it yet but I've worked out my portion and stashed what I still have to eat. My boy and I are planning to split a bottle of the alchoholic ginger beer between us, so will check syns on that. Soup and roasted veggies and tofu I think but will update.
 
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13.04.2015

10 syns worth of fudge
Water melon
Carrot and butter bean soup with almond milk, smoked paprika and onion salt

eta Later, no more than 6 syns worth of the alcoholic ginger beer and a few handfuls of criss from a big sharing bag, I'm going to allow myself a generous 10 syns for them and make sure I have no more than 1o syns tomorrow.

More of that yummy soup, and an orange.

More fruit, grapes and bananas andmore fudge (woops) more soup , ratatouille, and 70g (2xHXB) of Grape Nuts. What a strange cereal. And what a small bowlfull for 70g, I felt very short changed. Still it is good I've sorted out the food scales at last.

Definitely a low syn day tomorrow.
 
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