Thanks BL
You are right I need to step back a bit as it is dragging me down a bit and as you say I will be more helpful when I am strong.
I think admitting to you all that I am not doing too well with the programme at the mo is going to help. It is difficult to admit especially when everyone is doing so well. When you are down and slipping you feel, or I do, that you dont want to bring others down. Anyway I have decided you share it all with you now and not hide it away. Feeling better already.
When I check my posts I and read how well I have done I sometimes feel at the mo that that person isnt me. I am gonna get through this and when I am out the other side will look back and see how much I have learnt. I have been almost clean today, yesterday was awful, so hopefully tomorrow will be 100%