Friend throwing in CD towel

[MissPinky]

Would welcome some views from y'all on the progression (...I would say natural) of my friend who's been doing CD, and announced to me today he's thrown in the towel to 'go it alone'. Some of you already know about this from my initial post in the recent thread 'The cost of CD'.

His reasoning? - it's too costly, if he's only losing 1lb per week. Stuff the fact that he lost 5lbs last week! - it was only 1lb this week, and he's not tolerating that anymore. Apparently!

Another reason is that he believes his body chemistry isn't suited to CD and that's why it "isn't working for him" - I'd say 37lbs in 13 weeks is the diet working for him - would you? He simply doesn't believe his CDC when she says 'the diet works'. He doesn't believe me when I say 'the diet works - if it isn't working, what's the underlying reason? - there must be one!'. This latest 'chemical' reason is a new one on me - up to now it's been the cost alone as a concern, but coming out with it's not working because his 'body chemistry isn't suited', and he's 'genetically predisposed to being overweight' - then saying he'll go it alone to lose the last stone he wants to lose seems contradictory.

I thought I may have managed to sway him a little by suggesting a higher plan with fewer CDs a week to buy... but sadly not! I think the mindset has gone for him and is not redeemable.

Anyone else think the body chemistry thing is weird, or is there something about this diet that I have somehow missed in my time on it?

 

[Angela83]

Im sure its the same with other diets, thinking the last bit will be easy because you've lost so much allready, (KD calls it the near goal chatterbox and its visited me recently, trying to tune it out just now!)Guess you need to show him by example by sticking to it how this diet does work and maybe he'll return, maybe not. its maybe just now his time just now.

 

[louisaL]

To be honest it just sounds like he doesnt want to do it anymore, his lost his motivation and your CDC or you are not going to change his mind.
his probably out there now eating something.

its sad but true but i've been there

 

[mrsessex]

Nothing to do with body[STRIKE] bullchit[/STRIKE] chemistry

If ya head aint in it.....it aint in it

Shame but cant make the horse drink....as it were

 

[lunar jim]

CD does work. Look at my sig; look at all our sigs, we all know CD works but if his head isn't in the right place then it 'aint going to happen. It sounds to me like the motivation has gone and he's making excuses, hence the cost, the 'predisposition' and the 'body chemistry' thing.

Like mrsessex said: 'you can lead a horse to water'.

BTW mrsessex, every time you post I have to do a double take, as I keep reading your forum name as 'Mrs Sex'! Sorry

 

[cazmilligan]

Its sounds like hes just not in the "zone" hun, and if he has made up his mind to stop, then nothing will stop him, there are five steps in the cycle of (food/drug/alcohol etc) addiction,
1. Precontemplation: one does not recognise the need for change, or is not ready to change.
2. Contemplation: one recognises a problem and thinks about changing it.
3. Preparation : getting oneself ready for change.
4. Action: initiating a life change
5. Maintanance: adjusting to change, and pracising new behaviours and thought patterns, in order to subsain change.
Then there is RELAPSE, which can happen anywhere between action and maintanance.
It sounds like your friend has replased and is now straight back to the PRECONTIPLATION stage.
Its sad but most of us have been through this cycle many, many, many times with diet, upon diet, I just hope I stay in my Maintaining stage till I am at goal! x

 

[Blingbabe]

Like the others I think that your friend's mindset has changed, and it has been influenced by the 'inner chatterbox'. I have been there myself in the past, announcing to people that I will now be doing Weight Watchers or another diet and listing all sorts of (fictitious) reasons as to why Lighterlife (my former diet) was no longer suitable. Unfortunately I never used to replace Lighterlife with another diet, hence the weight went back on plus more.
Not sure that there is anything you can do, sounds like your friend has made up his mind even though you have already given logical and sound reasons for him to keep up CD.
As a mate, offer your support for his new diet plan and see what happens next?

 

[broxi]

The thing is though I sympathise with your friend as this diet is really hard to do and stick to I think. If I get a poor result, it kills me because it's so hard so maybe he's feeling the weight isn't coming off fast enough for the effort he's making.

 

[imagisal]

Your friend has his own journey to make and it's no use you wasting your energy and getting frustrated because he is in excuse mode....a place where most of us have been. Go your own CD journey.......you can still be his friend but you are not responsible for controlling his path apart from friendly support and gentle honesty regarding his CD objections. Say your piece to him(that CD works if you work the rules) and leave him be and concentrate on yourself.......lead by example. Best wishes.

 

[louisie]

my friend and I started the diet at the same time. I am still on it but she has since stopped.

At the start she was totally focused but then would slip for no reason and eat. I would always be really annoyed by this especially when she lost more weight than me .

it took me a long time to realise it was not up to me what she did, what she ate or if she did the diet or not.

She has since stopped completely and is doing her own thing and good luck to her. her head or heart obviously wasnt in it at the end and you just have to support their choice no matter what.

 

[ClareyMary]

I did cambridge last year with my sister... she dropped out saying it wont work etc... then i lost over 2stone.. and she was so misserable.. i know this sounds mean.. but the fact that she gave up.. gave me more motivation of get the weigh off!... i am mean.. but she is my identical twin!.. way to much competition there!..ha!

xx

 

[MissPinky]

Thanks all - he's going his own way, and I'll certainly support him there (probably with the same 'blunt' honesty I get from him, though - we work that way, by mutual agreement!)... but the 'body chemistry' thing is just the strangest reason/excuse I've come across.

Pushed him on it a little today - he believes this because every diet he's done has 'worked for 3 months then stopped'. From this, he has concluded that his physical makeup will only permit him to diet a specific way for that length of time. He remains convinced that he will gain weight with anything over 750 calories of intake and that he can't maintain his weight at a 'normal' maintenance intake (e.g. around 2000 calories for chaps).

It's now even more glaringly obvious than it was that the root of the problem is not in CD, or any of the other diets he's tried over the years. Sad really - as I now have to watch him battle again, knowing full well if he'd stopped blipping and drunk enough water things may be different. His wife is so-o-o frustrated with him because this is the best he's done with weightloss ever! She's got the really hard work to do...

 

[broxi]

I know this seems mad to you but I honestly understand him. Every diet I've been on has stopped working after about 3 months and I'm terrified this will happen with CD as this is my last chance and also because it is so hard to do. So tell him there is someone on this forum who feels the same as him!

 

[MissPinky]

I know this seems mad to you but I honestly understand him. Every diet I've been on has stopped working after about 3 months and I'm terrified this will happen with CD as this is my last chance and also because it is so hard to do. So tell him there is someone on this forum who feels the same as him!

Will do

Can I ask if you have any inkling why this happens for you?

 

[broxi]

I have no idea. some people say it's all in the mind but that's c**p! I did Atkins and got right down to about a stone off my goal and it just stopped! I didn't do anything different cos I'd been doing it for 3 months. It doesn't work to this day. I did SW last year lost only a stone and half but that stopped dead too after 3 months. I've not managed to stick to CD for that long yet but hopefully it wont. I think my body gets wise to weight loss and the diet stops working, I don't know!

 

[MissPinky]

Thanks broxi - it may help him to know someone else has a similar experience. I think he feels a bit isolated and was certainly defensive (didn't need to be!) when he told me and another girl we know who's doing CD about it.