Friends

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by sbridge7, 9 September 2009 Social URL.

  1. sbridge7

    sbridge7 Silver Member

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    What is it about some friends and weight loss? I've lost nearly 3 stones and they don't happen to notice :rolleyes: It's not that I really care, but a lot of people have commented on the difference. I guess sometimes friends don't know how to react.
     
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  3. hopefullyslimmer

    hopefullyslimmer New Member

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    Ah I'm sure it is just because they see you all the time, they just don't notice it. Just wait you will just be sitting there minding you own business one day and they will see how much you have lost! And they won't be able to stop telling you how great you look ;)
     
  4. LizzMB

    LizzMB WILL be Slim!

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    ha ha ha!
    I have this!
    My friend has only ever said to me that i looked like i'd lost weight on my face! yeah, cos 6 stone comes of my face only...nothing to do with going from an 18 to a 10! lol
    Its just jealousy hun!
    xx
     
  5. sbridge7

    sbridge7 Silver Member

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    How can you're friend not notice that you've 86lbs?! I agree, definitely something to do with jealousy xxx
     
  6. cazmilligan

    cazmilligan Happiness in a shake!

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    Some people just don't "look" at you, I don't think it is malicious or anything, they just don't pay too much attention, until it is screaming at them in the face, these people are usually either too wrapped up in their own lives or are embarressed to pay people a compliement, and others, well, they can just be jealous!
    Fabulous weight loss hun, as long as you are noticing the changes, don't worry about your "friends" x
     
  7. sbridge7

    sbridge7 Silver Member

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    That is so true. I haven't told them about the diet, but said I wanted to lose a bit of weight, so I haven't made a big deal. However after 2 months on CD and losing over 2 stone, one friend asked me 'How it was going?' I thought you'd be able to at least see a difference :)
     
  8. Claudine004

    Claudine004 Oh Yea!

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    Hey Shantel,

    People get used to you being the'fat friend' and so it means they have to view you in a different way when you lose weight. It's hard for some people babes.

    Not only do you look great/different but they have to rethink the person they though you were.

    Bare with them......it takes time!

    You'll know when it's the Green Eyed Monster making an appearance cos the *****iness comes along with it!

    I'm sure they are happy for you!!

    You'll be making some new mates anyway at uni!!!
     
  9. bmthsue

    bmthsue Full Member

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    I have a very close friend who hasn't mentioned my weight loss once since I started CD. Everyone else has noticed and been very complimentary and encouraging but I feel this particular friend has shown her true colours through her silence. She even mentioned to another friend that I was damaging my liver by doing CD!!! Hey ho, I've decided it's her problem and I won't let it upset me or hinder my diet. I'm proud of what I've achieved and am very excited about finally feeling like I look like a normal person.
    As has been said before, some people just can't cope with change very well particularly if it means they have to move out of their comfort zone too.
     
  10. mrsessex

    mrsessex Gold Member

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    Ive lost 4 stone now and a girl down the school yesterday morning went 'OMG!!! you've got glasses i didnt recognise you'!!!


    ............... she was DEADLY serious too..i havnt seen her since June! she honestly is one of these people soooooo busy (4 kids and a full time job) she genuinelly doesnt notice much!!!

    Goes to show ya! and yes...my glasses ARE new! lol
     
  11. Hoping2LoseBig!!

    Hoping2LoseBig!! Silver Member

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    Some friends are just weird and i know for sure its def to do with jealousy! I have told everyone i am on CD and they always ask how its going on the phone etc but not once have any of them said they have noticed any difference, but my family have all noticed and told me, and my EX's family have all noticed and told me even ex told me....Also a few of my friends have said they can't imagine me being "skinny"...well ill show them aye! Ive always been the fat friend but not for much longer!
     
  12. crimson_vixen

    crimson_vixen Shoe Lover

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    I would say that it is jealousy. I had a friend that lost 10 stone, and I was a little jealous, but interested to find out what she had done and how I could do it too. But one of our mutual friends was almost mean. She never congratulated her, made snide comments and acted as if she was still hugely overweight. I think it was because she didn't like the fact that our friend was now the slim one, and slimmer than her.

    Relationships can be difficult, and often you take the place of the "fat" friend, and your friends see you a certain way. When you begin to move away from this idea they hold of you, it can be difficult for people to adjust and it can cause some resentment, i.e. your moving on and leaving them behind, kind of thing.

    I suspect that they will come around when they see how well you are doing, and how much the weightloss is helping you etc.
     
  13. Laura Croft

    Laura Croft Happily maintaining

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    A lot of your true friends will support you, will notice and be happy for you. Those that don't notice will be for a few reasons:

    1) They aren't weight conscious themselves so they genuinely don't notice. I'm not saying they are overweight but some of my thinner friends don't really think about weight so they didn't see me for my weight
    2) You are still wearing the same clothes ie not more fitted so it's harder to see the weight loss. Or they see you so often it's harder to notice
    3) They are jealous/ it's flagging their own issues. I lost weight and lose some 'friends' in the process. They were both insecure about their weight, were happy when I was their fat friend (not that that put it in those words) but couldn't deal with me being slimmer than them.
     
  14. exp107

    exp107 Silver Member

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    I agree with the "still wearing the same clothes" I noticed that too nobody seemed to really notice til I had to buy new smaller clothes that were more fitted, I have also had a couple of people recently who have passed comment and said "I noticed you'd lost weight but didn't know what to say or how to say it" but these were more acquaintances than friends.

    I've also had a touch of the green eyed monster too! such is life and I'm sure they'll get over it ;)
     
  15. JimmyShoo

    JimmyShoo Silver Member

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    i have a friend who when i have been big saying you look fab and you are so toned. No i am nearly 16 stones at 5ft 4. I am now 14 stones and she still chooses to ignore it. She has just started Lighter Life and i am pleased she has because the CBT she gets with it mat make her outlook change. She has a jealous streak with me anyway but i will make sure i compliment her all the way because thats how i am.

    Some people don't notice because they don't look beyond your face. I am sure there is no malice there.

    I bet you look fabulous and the good thing is you are feeling fabulous too.

    XX
     
  16. Melanie_x

    Melanie_x size 8 skinnies ..yesss!

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    Well i think your doing fab and if people dont notice then its there problem, most people i see dont say it but my family do and there the people I see most often would you believe .... I saw my gran yesterday and she has been pretty mean since i had the baby, she would say everytime i see her 'oh your not getting any slimmer are you' .... yesterday she was just about to say it then she said actually you do look slimmer! wahooooo at last a compliment from my tactless gran! lol
     
  17. lunar jim

    lunar jim Gold Member

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    Lol the elderly *can* be pretty tactless... Bet that put a grin on your face though :D
     
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  19. GeMzY

    GeMzY Silver Member

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    Don't let the jealousy of others get you down, use it to your advantage it will help your incentive to lose.
    I believe true friends see you for who you are not what you look like... Keep up the good work :)
     
  20. Hoping2LoseBig!!

    Hoping2LoseBig!! Silver Member

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    Mel my nan is the same, 3 days after i had arianna she asked if i had lost any weight yet...mm well i gave birth to a 6lb baby does that count! And she tried offering me her clothes she is a size 30 im a 18/20.....she is very rude with it and thinks cos she is big and bothered that everyone has to be as bothered as she is, i was never bothered untill after i had the baby! Silly Nans!
     
  21. crimson_vixen

    crimson_vixen Shoe Lover

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    My Nan was the same! Never held it back and told it like it was! x
     
  22. exp107

    exp107 Silver Member

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    Can't they just! my Father in Law (78) the last time we went to his house passed some comment about 'my large behind' after totally ignoring the fact I've lost 6st! he's coming here this weekend won't that just be fun!! :rolleyes:
     
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