frustrated fatty mcfattypuss' diary

[mantha16]

fatty mcfattypuss was the nickname I gave my cat who wasn't fat but I just liked it, I also wanted to call the cat sir meowser despite her being a girl but thats a whole other story. but I like the name for my diary.

Well its exactly 7 days till I go to my first ever slimming world class so I shall be calling this week the final fattypuss week, cos I'm a bit weird like that.

I'm spending this week eating up all the junk in my room ready for the far healthier shop I will be doing next week. reading other peoples diarys has been pretty inspiring so I thought I'd give it a go, now I can't swear I'll post every day but I think making myself come here and post when mr temptation comes knocking at the door might be helpful, I'll also come and post my WI's etc as I'm not telling my RL friends until I've lost a few stone so I know I'm gonna stick it out this time.

I guess I should start with why now, well after gallstones last year I knew it was a matter of time before I had to address my weight but I'll be honest the main reason is I'm 36 single and childless and I can hear the biological clock ticking at a furious rate. I know big women get married and have kids but I'm disgusted by what I see in the mirror and I think tht disgust and lack of confidence probably puts men off.

I'm sick of abuse in the streets and people treating me with contempt. my weight also holds me back career wise as my weight makes me lazy and unable to try to progress even in my current job working in a supermarket. I work on a checkout and I don't want to multi-skill as the other jobs I could do all involve being on my feet constantly which I simply cannot do because the pressure on my feet and back is physically very painful. I hate how customers look down their noses thinking I'm "just" a cashier. I have a degree (admittedly in criminology but still I got a 2:1 and worked damn hard for it) and want to retrain as a social worker next year (if the government doesnt withdraw the NHS bursarys for social work) I also volunteer for victim support and hopefully will soon be helping them out with some admin work so I have positives in my life but my body image and weight depress me so much sometimes I just don't see the point.

Well I'll be darned if I'm gonna turn 40 and still feel like that!!!!!

 

[willownat1]

Hello, and may I commend you on the honesty in your post!

I also get treated with contempt just for being a 'shop girl' I have a 2;1 in fine art plus I am a fully qualified chef (where a lot of my excess weight came from)

Last year my OH and I moved down to Cornwall and it was whilst buying myself a wetsuit that I was embarrassed into losing weight. I had to buy a mans wetsuit just to get one to fit me and I cant tell you how soul destroying it was. Every time I look in the mirror I become depressed at the image looking back at me, I mean I have always been on the larger size but NEVER this big :cry:

Anyways sorry to ramble but I just wanted to say Hi

 

[mantha16]

hi oh I could never face the trauma of a wetsuit lol so kudos for at least wearing one I love swimming for exercise its one of the few things that doesnt hurt that much but can I face wearing a cossie and the looks that accompany it?? nopeeee not a chance.

and yeah I figure no point in not being honest thats the joys of forum posting the privacy it affords ones "real" identity

 

[Skinny Sia]

Hello! Here to follow. You seem like a lovely person and I sincerely wish you all the best with your weight loss journey xx

 

[mantha16]

thanking you kindly

 

[mantha16]

well as I wait for my pizza to cook I thought I should come and post 5 days (well 4 really) till operation no more fattypuss begins and im slowly getting rid of all the crap thats in the house. oh how I will miss pizza oh i know there are healthy versions of pizza but they suck if anyone can come up with a double decadence texas bbq (minus peppers) pizza and garlic herb dip that tastes as good as dominos and is healthyish then frankly I'd promise you my first born i dont know maybe ill be able to save up a years syns for one slice lol. I've also spent some of this evening looking for work out videos on you tube I was feeling very virtuous until I realised lying on your bed and just watching the vids doesn't count as a work out ah well I have two to start with zumba type videos of lmfao "im sexy and I know it" and flo rida ft david guetta "club can't handle me" they are both pretty speedy songs with high intensity beats so it will take me about 6 months to actually learn the routine and if i can do them without requiring medical attention at the end then that would be a job well done

can someone have 999 on speed dial just in case

 

[Skinny Sia]

I couldn't stop laughing at your promise to give up your first born for a good pizza recipe!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! I cannot stand most low fat foods. I'd rather eat less of full fat and be content. Well, that's in theory because I'm not content until I've gobbled it all down hence why I'm dieting now.

I've been using Jillian Michaels 30 day shred DVD. 20 minutes of pure pain but I'm seeing the results on my wobbly bits. Also, I love how it's condensed into 20 mins as opposed to the usual 40-60 minutes. However, Zumba is a really fun way to get moving. When I first started out with exercising, I followed some 10 minute YouTube exercises as I couldn't do longer than that without my chest hammering like mad. I liked the SparkPeople exercises.

 

[Skinny Sia]

Here's one of the YouTube vids http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlX_Gy4HP2E&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Xx

 

[mantha16]

is gillian micheals the women from the american biggest loser, she scares the crap outta me lol

 

[Skinny Sia]

Thats the one She is scary but effective! Couldn't have her as a personal trainer but feel safe with her on the other side of the tv

 

[mantha16]

id have bob as a personal trainer and by personal trainer i mean horizontal naked rudey dudeys ditto for jesse pavelka

 

[Skinny Sia]

id have bob as a personal trainer and by personal trainer i mean horizontal naked rudey dudeys ditto for jesse pavelka

Hehe!

 

[mantha16]

just a couple of days to go yesterday i ordered a goodbye dominos that i couldnt really afford cos as much as i don't want to deprive myself of my fave foods i simply cannot carry on eating dominos I also realised tht after I get paid I may not have enough money after rent and a £100 phone bills to buy enough healthy food to last but as I get paid 4 weekly (with some housing benefit fortnightly) and rent is due per calender month I may be able to juggle stuff around a bit hopefully ive also due to the choccy i ate today triggered toothache again, i've had probs for a while but couldnt afford to visit the dentist, luckily ive now got a HC2 certificate so dont have to pay, unfortuntely no appointment till the 31st

even tho I havent actually started the plan yet Im filling a bit dispirited esp when I realised I'll be using my last £10 to join on wednesday and have to seriously juggle finances to be able to eat healthily id like to start swimming too but cant afford it so will have to do walking which i loathe but then I cant afford the bus to work anyway so have to walk anyway

my problem is im incredibly impatient with little willpower and considering i need to lose around 7-8 stone having the fortitude to stick to something for the long haul because its prob gonna take at least a year to drop the weight is difficult. mind you I did manage to stick to uni for 3 years so I know I cn do things if i'm determined enough of course losing my last job due to too much sick leave (a lot of weight related problems) I'm now degree educated working the checkout at asda part time sometimes seriously just FML obv I have plans for the future but after an almost entire lifetime of being made to feel not good enough I dont know if I'm strong enough

meh wow Im having a total pity party today lol oh well onwards and upwards

 

[LittleFlutterby]

just a couple of days to go yesterday i ordered a goodbye dominos that i couldnt really afford cos as much as i don't want to deprive myself of my fave foods i simply cannot carry on eating dominos I also realised tht after I get paid I may not have enough money after rent and a £100 phone bills to buy enough healthy food to last but as I get paid 4 weekly (with some housing benefit fortnightly) and rent is due per calender month I may be able to juggle stuff around a bit hopefully ive also due to the choccy i ate today triggered toothache again, i've had probs for a while but couldnt afford to visit the dentist, luckily ive now got a HC2 certificate so dont have to pay, unfortuntely no appointment till the 31st

even tho I havent actually started the plan yet Im filling a bit dispirited esp when I realised I'll be using my last £10 to join on wednesday and have to seriously juggle finances to be able to eat healthily id like to start swimming too but cant afford it so will have to do walking which i loathe but then I cant afford the bus to work anyway so have to walk anyway

my problem is im incredibly impatient with little willpower and considering i need to lose around 7-8 stone having the fortitude to stick to something for the long haul because its prob gonna take at least a year to drop the weight is difficult. mind you I did manage to stick to uni for 3 years so I know I cn do things if i'm determined enough of course losing my last job due to too much sick leave (a lot of weight related problems) I'm now degree educated working the checkout at asda part time sometimes seriously just FML obv I have plans for the future but after an almost entire lifetime of being made to feel not good enough I dont know if I'm strong enough

meh wow Im having a total pity party today lol oh well onwards and upwards

Hello Just thought I'd jump in

Firstly- you don't want to pay a tenner the new bella magazine comes out tomorrow (not that i read it) and there is a voucher for free membership- so you only have to pay a fiver in your first week!

I say this in the nicest way- but you really need to change that attitude missy! Slimming World does work, I have lost 10 stone in 14 months following the EE plan, with group support. It was a bit more extreme for me. Mentally I was battered, I had had enough. I was at a point with my weight that I knew I couldn't live like I was living and had to do something about it.

I joined SW because a friend of mine had lost 2 1/2 stone on it, without doing much exercise (she has ME) and I knew I needed the support from others. I ended up buying a countdown for 12 weeks, in my first week (with the help of a friend and selling a few items I didn't need, because I couldn't afford it right off). I do recommend them because 1) you're committed for 6 or 12 weeks, you've paid and you more or less have to go
2) it saves you money. with the 6 week you pay for 5 and with the 12 week you pay for 10, so you save a fiver or a tenner each time, depending on what you get.

I can tell you now- a year is nothing. I couldn't believe it when I got to the year mark. It came round so fast! 9st 3lb i lost in a year. i got my 9 stone award that week i think. it was amazing!

Good thing you're getting the crap food out now. You can be thrifty with shopping- go to aldi/lidl for your fruit and veg, even try your local butchers for meat as it might be cheaper than the supermarkets. I stock up on staple foods when they're on offer, the likes of my mugshots, alpen lights, beans and frylight. I ended up buying about 8 boxes of alpen lights when they were cheap the other week

Look forward to your first weigh in. Once you step off those scales for the first time, your journey starts- and your "fabulous first week" begins. You'll be armed with your pack and hopefully some recipes and motivation to start you off in good stead.

Then you just plan! Read the books, do your shop as soon as you can (the day before is ideal, just to get a few bits to begin with) and just focus on the next weigh in.

since you have a lot to lose, I would recommend just cutting it down into chunks- each half stone award, getting into the next stone bracket, getting to the next bmi number....don't look at the whole picture- its scary and seems far away- but you will get there, if you follow the plan and keep with it

Try and stay at group every week- if you can't stay at that one, you can flit between groups- but try and stay for image therapy- because that is where you get the support and motivation

I hope this helps some- I will be stalking you every so often, heehee

xx

 

[mantha16]

Hello Just thought I'd jump in

Firstly- you don't want to pay a tenner the new bella magazine comes out tomorrow (not that i read it) and there is a voucher for free membership- so you only have to pay a fiver in your first week!

I say this in the nicest way- but you really need to change that attitude missy! Slimming World does work, I have lost 10 stone in 14 months following the EE plan, with group support. It was a bit more extreme for me. Mentally I was battered, I had had enough. I was at a point with my weight that I knew I couldn't live like I was living and had to do something about it.

I joined SW because a friend of mine had lost 2 1/2 stone on it, without doing much exercise (she has ME) and I knew I needed the support from others. I ended up buying a countdown for 12 weeks, in my first week (with the help of a friend and selling a few items I didn't need, because I couldn't afford it right off). I do recommend them because 1) you're committed for 6 or 12 weeks, you've paid and you more or less have to go
2) it saves you money. with the 6 week you pay for 5 and with the 12 week you pay for 10, so you save a fiver or a tenner each time, depending on what you get.

I can tell you now- a year is nothing. I couldn't believe it when I got to the year mark. It came round so fast! 9st 3lb i lost in a year. i got my 9 stone award that week i think. it was amazing!

Good thing you're getting the crap food out now. You can be thrifty with shopping- go to aldi/lidl for your fruit and veg, even try your local butchers for meat as it might be cheaper than the supermarkets. I stock up on staple foods when they're on offer, the likes of my mugshots, alpen lights, beans and frylight. I ended up buying about 8 boxes of alpen lights when they were cheap the other week

Look forward to your first weigh in. Once you step off those scales for the first time, your journey starts- and your "fabulous first week" begins. You'll be armed with your pack and hopefully some recipes and motivation to start you off in good stead.

Then you just plan! Read the books, do your shop as soon as you can (the day before is ideal, just to get a few bits to begin with) and just focus on the next weigh in.

since you have a lot to lose, I would recommend just cutting it down into chunks- each half stone award, getting into the next stone bracket, getting to the next bmi number....don't look at the whole picture- its scary and seems far away- but you will get there, if you follow the plan and keep with it

Try and stay at group every week- if you can't stay at that one, you can flit between groups- but try and stay for image therapy- because that is where you get the support and motivation

I hope this helps some- I will be stalking you every so often, heehee

xx

thank you for the tip i'll pick bella up on the SW website it says first meeting free but if i can save the tenner rather than fiver tht would be good.

Luckily as I work at Asda I get staff discount so can obviously save a bit tht way, after my first meeting im gonna sit down with my info and plan a shopping list to buy on friday when I get paid as much as I hate getting up early my 10am meeting will be good (and yes thts early to me cos I work evenings lol) cos I dont pick up overtime in the mornings so can always go to meetings,

i think the countdown things will be good after the first month if its working for me i'll get one then so i know its worth spending the money

i know the plan works my worry is do I? lol im not known as the most optimistic person in the world lol, I have to do it this time before i really strt developing serious health complications such as diabetes or heart disease

I will have these pity partys frequently but i thinking sharing them here instead of turning to bingeing cn only benefit me in the end even if it bores everyone lol

 

[mantha16]

well I'm all ready for tomorrow walked to the papershop in the stifling heat (migraines and sunstroke are just two of the reasons i loathe the hot weather and being out in it lol) to buy my copy of Bella magazine so I've got my free membership coupon and my £5 for the first class, I know the first two days wont be good cos I dont have any money for food shopping till friday but then I have no crap left in house so there wont be any massively damaging binges either so hopefully I will still lose in the first week.

I'm massively terrified I don't like walking in places on my own and its in a conservative club so my liberal self almost breaks out into the hives at the thought of spending time in a tory club lol but I really feel like tomorrow is gonna be the start of a brand new life,

 

[mantha16]

how the flump can i have let myself get to 24 stones and 5 lb arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh heartbroken.com oh well at least I know my starting point now nd can start working the plan

 

[tranquility]

I wouldn't worry too much about the numbers on the scales or how you got there. Just focus on eating good healthy meals from the plan. Never look further than half a stone ahead.

 

[Fredcat]

Just read all your posts with a mixture of laughter and total understanding. How you can sit there and say 'oh my degree is only in criminology' is beyond me! I'm well impressed. You come across as being a very intelligent funny lady so don't put yourself down. I've started doing sw again this week, just cos I'm fed up being a big fat lump, we came back off holiday a month ago, we went to Spain and I just felt like a beached whale the whole 2 weeks I was there. I went to a sw class last year but packed it in after about 4 months and losing just over a stone cos I got bored, that's me all over though. So, I've got the books etc, just need to keep the motivation! I know it works if you stick to it, and at least you don't feel hungry all the time like I did on ww. Anyway, you've started now so onwards and downwards!

 

[mantha16]

holy crap so yeh i def wont be having dominos anytime soon for one slice of cheese and tomato medium double decadence pizza = 13 syns I had a whole one of those on monday before starting the plan lol so already had 5 syns from eating some pretzels but like ive previously said dont have much money for shopping till friday. I've got a couple of quid which i'll spend on fruit after work tonight (hopefully the customers havent stripped the shelves bare of reduced stuff lol) as I'm a new member I got a booklet about slimming world summer which came with a bunch of money of vouchers including one for 50p off fry light which im pleased about its shocking some of the stuff thts free food cnt wait till friday when I can have my first prob sw fry up bacon eggs beans tomatos and my own body weight in mushrooms yummmmmmmmmmmyyy gonna be a change not to fry em in butter but i reckon they must do well cooked with a spray of fry light. im utterly delighted that potatos arent restricted reducing bread is gonna be hard so I suspect ill be synning bread on top of my healthy extra.

I reckon it will take me a few weeks to properly get into the swing of things but tomorrow when im not so tired ill write my shopping list my only disappointment is that tinned fruit in its own juice isnt free I find fresh fruit goes off too quickly but then thats prob when i wasnt eating tht much of it so. and im gonna try some of the weird and wonderful fruits we sell at work like sharon fruits and doughnut peaches which just make me giggle everytime I see them lol think i'll get a bag of carrots later cos ive always liked munching on raw carrots

so I dont think ill be hungry on this plan its staying motivated thats important right now after 3 hours sleep last night and a 4 hr shift starting at 630pm coming up im pretty tired so im not sure how much of the info im taking in so shall leave it for today think ill have to buy some scales on friday too for weighing my healthy extra's hmm