Funny poem for you. Get your mammies grammed here

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by KD, 29 October 2006 Social URL.

  1. KD

    KD Gone fishing

    Was Cambridge, now maintaining
    The Mammogram

    For years and years they told me,
    Be careful of your breasts.
    Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
    And give them monthly tests.

    So I heeded all their warnings,
    And protected them by law.
    Guarded them very carefully,
    And I always wore my bra.

    After 30 years of astute care,
    My gyno, Dr Pruitt,
    Said should get a Mammogram
    "OK," I said, "let's do it"

    "Stand up here real close" she said,
    (She got my boob in line),
    "And tell me when it hurts," she said,
    "Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."

    She stepped upon a pedal,
    I could not believe my eyes!
    A plastic plate came slamming down,
    My hooters in a vise!

    My skin was stretched and mangled,
    From underneath my chin.
    My poor boob was being squashed,
    To Swedish Pancake thin.

    Excruciating pain I felt,
    Within it's viselike grip.
    A prisoner in this vicious thing,
    My poor defenseless tit!

    "Take a deep breath," she said to me,
    Who does she think she's kidding!
    My chest is mashed in her machine,
    And woozy I am getting.

    "There, that's good," I heard her say,
    (The room was slowly swaying.)
    "Now, let's have a go at the other one."
    Have mercy, I was praying

    It squeezed me from both up and down,
    It squeezed me from both sides.
    I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
    To HER tender little hide.

    Next time that they make me do this,
    I will request a blindfold
    I have no wish to see again,
    My knockers getting steam rolled.

    If I had no problem when I came in,
    I surely have one now.
    If there had been a cyst in there,
    It would have gone "ker-pow!"

    This machine was created by a man,
    Of this, I have no doubt.

    I'd like to stick their "you know what's" in there,

    And see how they come out!!
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  3. Summerskye

    Summerskye Gold Member

    Start Weight:
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    Cambridge Weight Plan
  4. DQ

    DQ Queen of the Damned

    Absolutely PMSL!!!! :D :D
  5. Lesly Cambridge

    Lesly Cambridge Cambridge Consultant

    Something like this, you mean?

    Attached Files:

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