'Girlfriends'??????

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by fatpossum, 19 May 2009 Social URL.

  1. fatpossum

    fatpossum Silver Member

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    I am doing very well on my diet and feeling very motivated to stick at it for the next 6 weeks or so by which point I should be to my target weight (or very near it anyway).

    I work with a woman with whom I am very friendly and she knows that I am desperatly trying to get back into last years summer clothes.

    In the main she appears to be very supportive but every so often she 'encourages' me to give myself 'a break' and have a few glasses of wine - the longer I maintain my stance the more insistant she becomes.

    She is particularly keen to see me drink at weekends (I don't socialise with her outside of work so she's not after a 'drinking buddy') and, in particular, to break my diet next week when I go on holiday for a week (not with her).

    Today she told me "You'd be mad not to eat and drink next week - you deserve to relax. Just come off it for the week and go back on again when you come back".

    Well ........... I know that she is not deliberatly trying to sabotage me but I am fascinated to know if she might be trying to do so on some unconscious level.

    She is quite a 'big girl' (quite a lot bigger than me) and forever on and off Atkins with little effect.

    Her insistance hasn't been botheing me - I have been finding it quite amusing but of late it has become ......... a bit irritating.
     
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  3. haggard_hannah

    haggard_hannah Proud to be a Loser!

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    She reaks of jealousy! Some friend she is! I've had this too from so called friends, they obviously thought I was gonna fail miserably at it, and now that they can see that I haven't, they don't like it. So they drop snide remarks and encourage me to ditch the diet. No chance of that though, I'm more likely to ditch them! xx
     
  4. Shopaholic

    Shopaholic is back to finish the job

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    Maybe if she encourages you to break your diet it validates her not doing well on her diet...

    I'm impressed with your will power. Keep it up you are doing great :)
     
  5. tillyfloss

    tillyfloss Gold Member

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    Sometimes these people we call our friends, are really very mean!
    One thing I have learnt is that as a fat friend I was a constant booster to certain friends, always made them feel more attractive , more sexy, more interesting.
    One girl in particular now is constantly telling me, I should have a break.
    I would guess that this girl is very insecure with her body size and has always seen you as a fat ali.
    Now she sees you doing well, she sees not only her fat ali literally dissapearing, but also she feels more of a failure because she has not suceeded to lose the weight.
    Keep on with your plan, who knows one day she might join you!

    x
     
  6. Ice-Skater

    Ice-Skater Full Member

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    oh gosh i have/am going thru this too so much so i have had to cut ties with this so called friend......u stick to ur diet hun and u show her!
     
  7. shrinkingsarah

    shrinkingsarah Member

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    :8855:that's how I feel about a couple of 'friends', think we've got the cd way :D
     
  8. bmthsue

    bmthsue Full Member

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    I have a friend who is similar to this and I just choose to ignore her when it comes to CD. The most hurtful thing I find is that she never ever mentions how much better I'm looking or asks how much I've lost, yet she can see how dedicated I am and how much it's improving my confidence. She's generally a great friend, so I just put this down to her own insecurities. So long as you are happy with what you are doing and having great results, just put her negative comments to the back of your mind and enjoy your weight loss - you'll be the winner in the end!
     
  9. Leahtm

    Leahtm Full Member

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    Hi There

    I am going through exactly the same, me and my best friend, out of a group of maybe 10-14 have always been the biggest, my friend is alot bigger than me but she is the only one who supports me and helps me out, all by slimmer friends havent even acknowledged I have lost a pound and all of a sudden our monthly nights out are going to be at restraunts instead of our homes and that.

    I think you are right though I think I have always made the feel better and now they feel like I am going to be competing with them!!! xx
     
  10. LizzMB

    LizzMB WILL be Slim!

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    i actually ditched my "best mate" over this!
    She was a size 10 and forever saying how fat she was, and i'd gone from a 22 to a 16 and she barely said a word until it came to getting measured for my bridesmaid dress and she said that my boobs would have to be taped down so not to outdo her!!! Cheeky Cow!
    Needless to say that i wasnt her bridesmaid in the end and although i gained a lot of the weight back, i still have my self belief to know that i CAN AND WILL do this!
    I also used to get the "aaawww, but you suit the size you are" or "maybe your just meant to be this size" etc!
    Do not let anyone else judge you hun! Your doing super, and let her have her "faddy" diets....you have the will power to get to goal and stay there!
    See this as a motivation hun, you'll show her how its done!! :)
     
  11. boardwitless

    boardwitless Silver Member

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    I am losing weight with a work colleague - keeping each other company as she is getting married in a few weeks. I have lost a stone over 3 weeks and she has lost 3lb - she is now accusing me of 'cheating' by using CD. It's all good natured really as I told her she didn't specify we had to eat takeaways! But I have to own up too as I am sure I have felt jealous in the past of friends' weight loss and have probably tried a bit of gentle sabotage if they were doing better than I was! :jelous:
     
  12. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    Doing CD really opened my eyes to how sabotaging my friends can be toward my diets. I have struggle so much on many diets over the years- now I realise how often my friends encourage me to have girlie nights in with wine, takeaways and goodies, or to sneak off to Macdonalds or the fish and chip shop at lunchtime. When I'm strong and resist, I'm called a spoil sport, after all 'what harm can one "treat" do?' But it is never one treat is it? Its normally a few litres of vodka, some snacks and a chinese!

    I am trying really hard to re-train my best friends outlook on food. I love her to bits, but it is ruining my relationship with her. Now don't get me wrong, she is far from massive, but she carries it all around her stomach which is so unhealthy and he eating habits are appauling. I'm not sure if she is jealous of my weight loss or whether she just doesn't understand how CD works (not for want of my trying to explain!!)
     
  13. cat-bee

    cat-bee Silver Member

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    Wow, it amazes me to hear how these so called friends are behaving!

    My friends have been so supportive of me, so much so, they are the ones who make sure I stick to my fizzy water when Im out, and they are always texting and phoning to keep me on track!

    If it wasnt for my friends in real life, and you guys on here, there is no way I would have been able to do so well!

    I think if this is the way some of you are being treated, whether the 'friends' know they are doing it or not, you really need to think about surrounding yourself with healthier influences. :D

    I wish you all the best of luck with CD!

    Cat Bee x
     
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