Laura Croft
Happily maintaining
I was just reading on another forum about reasons people were dieting. Some of the reasons were so exciting, I had butterflies for some of the people. Some of reasons I could really relate to.
Then I began to think about my motivations for losing weight, and how am I keeping the weight off this time. I don't have any hot dates coming up (unfortunately!), no parties, etc so what is keeping me going.
My first time around on CD I had a big work do, I hit target, I looked great (even if I do say so myself) but soon the compliments stopped coming, I could only arrange to meet so many people I hadn't seen for ages(!) but there was still a lot of emptiness inside.
You see eating wasn't the cause of why I was overweight, food was just the way I'd dealt with things. I'd never been on a strict diet like this before and all those times of me saying 'If only I were thin, this wouldn't have happened' weren't actually true. There was no divine intervention and I realised I wasn't being punished because I was fat. Rude people were still rude, I still looked awful when I got caught in the rain without an umbrella and fat days were still fat days.
Sure, I looked to be happier a person on the outside and to some degree on the inside too, but my motivation for losing weight was based on external reasons and not internal.
So I relapsed to try and fill that void, and for this and other reasons I was back to square one. I knew when I lost weight the second time I had to get right with self-esteem, I needed to address the things going on in my head and I needed to not just know but also practice that happiness had to come from within.
I've not discussed the work I did on self-esteem etc with anyone but one close friend yet it's amazing how many people have commented on the fact I look much happier and healthier this time around even though I weigh just the same as I did before.
And it's true - I'm more balanced, I'm more self-aware and my motivation for keeping my weight down is based on feeling healthy and things that make me happy, not external validation.
So why this why now? I guess what I'm trying to say (and unfortunately succint isn't my middle name) to not forget about the person you are inside, that there's much more to you than a number on the scale or how much the number has dropped this week. And if you know that same deep void feeling, please think about doing a check-in with yourself so once you hit goal, you don't try and fill it with food like I did.
Thanks
Then I began to think about my motivations for losing weight, and how am I keeping the weight off this time. I don't have any hot dates coming up (unfortunately!), no parties, etc so what is keeping me going.
My first time around on CD I had a big work do, I hit target, I looked great (even if I do say so myself) but soon the compliments stopped coming, I could only arrange to meet so many people I hadn't seen for ages(!) but there was still a lot of emptiness inside.
You see eating wasn't the cause of why I was overweight, food was just the way I'd dealt with things. I'd never been on a strict diet like this before and all those times of me saying 'If only I were thin, this wouldn't have happened' weren't actually true. There was no divine intervention and I realised I wasn't being punished because I was fat. Rude people were still rude, I still looked awful when I got caught in the rain without an umbrella and fat days were still fat days.
Sure, I looked to be happier a person on the outside and to some degree on the inside too, but my motivation for losing weight was based on external reasons and not internal.
So I relapsed to try and fill that void, and for this and other reasons I was back to square one. I knew when I lost weight the second time I had to get right with self-esteem, I needed to address the things going on in my head and I needed to not just know but also practice that happiness had to come from within.
I've not discussed the work I did on self-esteem etc with anyone but one close friend yet it's amazing how many people have commented on the fact I look much happier and healthier this time around even though I weigh just the same as I did before.
And it's true - I'm more balanced, I'm more self-aware and my motivation for keeping my weight down is based on feeling healthy and things that make me happy, not external validation.
So why this why now? I guess what I'm trying to say (and unfortunately succint isn't my middle name) to not forget about the person you are inside, that there's much more to you than a number on the scale or how much the number has dropped this week. And if you know that same deep void feeling, please think about doing a check-in with yourself so once you hit goal, you don't try and fill it with food like I did.
Thanks
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