Going to group is becoming a chore not a pleasure

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by marmiteman, 19 October 2010 Social URL.

  1. marmiteman

    marmiteman Member

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    I have been going to group every week for the 12 weeks and at first I found it was very rewarding and useful, and still do. The problem is I get there at 6.50pm get weighed in and then sit there while the others come in any time between 6.50 to 7.30. get weighed have a natter about what they have done this week at work ect etc, It's meant to be a 7pm start but we never start until 7.30 and it finish's at 8pm and it all seems very rushed sometimes.

    I also find it hard to sit there while the same people every week ''can't believe they have put on 3lb'' as they only had 2 bottles of wine a small chocolate bar and fish and chips on Friday night but did a 2 mile walk to work it off. It's always the same people and sometimes I just want to say something but every week the consultant goes through there food diary and points out, no thats not free, thats classed as a syn, oh, so is that one and that one,

    I want to shout out, listen to the consultant, she's telling you exactly what to do, where your going wrong, so just listen and act upon what she say's and you will lose !

    I know I am not the only one feeling this way as a number of others only get weighed in now and then leave because of the reasons above.

    It's called ''group'' for a reason and we should all support each other but some people just seem to use it as a night out and don't seem interest in following the plan to change there life around.

    I want to lose weight and I want to change my life for the better and love SW but there are some who seem not to care one way or the other and I question why they are there?

    That turned into a rant, Sorry about that
     
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  3. Divster

    Divster Banned

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    Think they are just paying lip-service. Alot do it, not sure why, but some think that paying £4.95 a week will make them lose weight, without doing anything inbetween class! Like follow the plan, at least for 80% of the week.
     
  4. kirstabubble

    kirstabubble Silver Member

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    I have to say, I completely agree. I don't really see the point of going if you're not going to give 100%. Obviously, everyone's allowed a wobble and if you want to go out and drink three bottles of wine, then do it...but at least try and limit the damage the rest of the week!

    I think it's pretty disrespectful to all the people that are actually trying to lose weight, if they're going to waste the consultant's time. That means she (or he) spend less time talking to everyone else, which just isn't fair to the rest of the group who do try.

    Maybe speak to your consultant and tell them how you feel...you pay for SW and shouldn't feel ousted from group because of these time-wasters.

    Kirsty x
     
  5. BrittW

    BrittW Timelord

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    I really feel for you.
    The later group where i go is just like this and i really couldn't stand it.
    I had to go to the earlier group once due to time constraints and it's so much better, so i go there full time now.

    There were women who would make excuses for everything and i really hate when people talk incessantly like children over the consultant.
    Either be part of a group, respect the group - or don't go.
     
  6. Mrs Mickey

    Mrs Mickey Member

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    My group was exactly the same, i thought i would burst if someone else mentioned how much chocolate they ate in a week and just laughed about it. The consultant was absolute rubbish, so i left.....I am still on SW but doing it alone at home and with the help of this wonderful website!! :)
     
  7. aliben

    aliben Full Member

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    Glad I read this - after the crap group this morning, I left so hacked off that no one listens to the C, and just chatters. I think the morning group is treated like a coffee morning and social. I keep reading about support from group - I don't think there is any. No one in the room has tried to speak to me after 6 weeks, including C, though I try to talk to people it is very cliquey - no can't spell that. I am going to try other groups for a couple of weeks to see if they are more friendly. I am too scared to go it alone, but can't believe all groups are as crap as mine. The success stories you read all rave about group support. Our group struggled to clap weakly when a lady today reached her target. We should be cheering, not chattering. Yep - rant over too!! Sorry - think I am on one today, better stop posting!
     
  8. jigglymum

    jigglymum Full Member

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    been to the odd group like that,i think unfortunately most are in a small way!
    the one 1 go to now does over run some what but not as bad, which is a good thing given that I'm quite likely to say something!
    it drives me loopy when the "I've eaten a gateaux, 4 chippy dinners, 3 grab bags of crisps and a small Romanian village, hummm I've gained???" comments start. i admit to saying "is that all you've put on??? wow!! don't brag" :D
    but i am a cow :p
    i think as has been said see if there are any other groups near you or talk to your C you cant be the only 1 feeling like this as you've said maybe if a few of you spoke to her together?
    or you could turn up later to get weighed and they ppl who are the worst offenders are the most likely to comment. point that out to them!!
    the other problem is that every1 at class is supposed to be a grown up, and the C is not the class teacher (unfortunately cant cane the cheeky beggars :confused:)

    xx
     
  9. soccermom

    soccermom I AM A WEMITT x

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    Is the class suppossed to start at 7 ?

    What I mean is .. if the class is given a start time of 7 that usually means image therapy starts at 7.30 the first half hour is used to get weighed in and have a natter while the consultant gives the newbie chat.

    Our class is advertised to start at 7 and IT starts at 7.30.

    If thats the case cant you go a bit later for when the actual class starts.

    I also hate it when some of the class talk over the consultant and feel like shouting at them to shut up :eek:

    Do you get involved with giving ideas and suggestions I find that helps in keeping group more interesting as it creates more sw based conversations.
     
  10. gemmm

    gemmm Full Member

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    Some of the comments have reminded me of when I went to meetings about a year ago. Some woman had kept gaining weight as she ate a lot of chocolate, one night she complained about it for about 15 mins and as a result the meeting over ran. Other members and the consultant gave her suggestions such as using hifi bars as a HEB, lower syn alternatives etc but she just kept pulling faces and tutting at their suggestions!
     
  11. amy2307

    amy2307 Full Member

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    Im so glad im not the only one who feels like this!! I keep thinking id like to be a consultant if i get to target, but i really dont know if i would be able to bite my tongue!! I do normally stay to group and if i dont its not because of these people, but it is always the same people who put on, and the same suggestions are made everyweek to help them but they dont listen!!! Why do they do it!? I get so frustrated!!!! I dont really know what to suggest as i just sit through it, but you should maybe try another group as others have suggested or just try to ignore those who dont seem to get such a simple eating plan!? Keep smiling :) xx
     
  12. Kim&Leah

    Kim&Leah Silver Member

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    edited
     
    Last edited: 16 November 2010
  13. Maximus

    Maximus Gold Member

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    In answer to the original poster, I think some people (I class myself as one of them) probably take it very serious - some might say too seriously, but for me it was a big step to join a group as a male in what is essentially (though not exclusively) a female domain. It isn't easy.

    I had been warned by previous SW'ers tha a lot of people use it very much as a "social" - my ex used to say they all went for a drink after club and then onto the chippy!

    I can understand frustration. I think RESPECT is the key word as mention, respect yourself, others and especially the consultant.
     
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  14. downsizingmycurves

    downsizingmycurves Silver Member

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    It must be incredibly hard for a consultant to please everyone.

    Some people do seem to go more for social reasons and dont really ever lose weight. To me, that would be a waste of money but I guess they started with the intention of wanting to lose weight and enjoy going. As we all pay, I dont see that my needs are any more important than theirs and so I smile and clap along. Its no skin off my nose, I still get something from the meetings.
     
  15. laura2481

    laura2481 Silver Member

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    I understand completley. I attend a very small group (seriously- only about 5 of us :p) and there are 2 ladies in particular who are difficult to cope with 'i've just eaten 3 bags of crisps a bar of chocolate and had a curry at the weekend an lost 2Ib' or as above but 'gained 5Ib and I don't know why!' Grrr. I looked sideways at some crisp last week and gained 3Ib :p Anyways, it is difficult to bite my toungue sometimes. Last week I didn't even stay to class as I had had a bit of a gain and couldn't stomach listening to their 'i ate this, that and other and still lost'
     
  16. MadameLaMinx

    MadameLaMinx Gold Member

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    We get that occasionally in our group but not as much as there could be by the sounds of things. I guess thats one of the benefits of being in an evening group, if people are taking time out of their evening to show up to group then more often than not they REALLY want to be there and take it a bit more seriously. We also dont seem to have the cliquey aspect of other groups, I guess because there are not so many "regulars" but lots of people that come and go from time to time so the group is more loosely connected and dont treat it as a social thing so much.

    We did have one person who came and hardly ever lost - seemed to think that simply by paying the 4.95 they would lose the weight without actually having to follow the plan, and then took up half of IT complaining about it when they ate in restaurants half the week and wondered why they didnt lose - but that is a rarity. I guess there will be an increase in people eating more during the winter months anyway because that is what we are inclined to do. Its cold, its dark, the cupboards are beckoning...
     
  17. Naomi F

    Naomi F Full Member

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    As Laura touched on, to me the most annoying thing is people saying they have eaten like that but have still lost, and I can have been 100% and had a gain! There is nothing more annoying than that I promise you! As for people eating off plan and gaining... again annoying, but some people will naturally have more determination and self-discipline than others... just thank your lucky stars that you are in the right mindset to do this while others are not :) all that said, i don't go to group anymore... because tbh i believe i have the determination and self-discipline to go it alone... there again if it aint broke don't fix it but like op have said maybe try another group, some are most definitely loads better than others
     
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  19. avisk

    avisk xx

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    The "timewasters" have a right to be there - they have paid their fiver for the privilege!

    There are always difficult people in any group (you should just hear some of the consultants talking about us behind our backs!) - although I have to say that we don't seem to have anyone too bad in ours.

    We just have to put up with other people's funny little ways in the fervent hope that they will put up with ours!
     
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  20. marmiteman

    marmiteman Member

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    Glad I'm not alone,Did start to think I was becoming an old grumpy git !!

    I just wish there was more time to share recipes, ideas and general tips, as that would be fantastic and much better than listening to the same thing week after week.
     
  21. MadameLaMinx

    MadameLaMinx Gold Member

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    It does to some degree depend on the size of the group - we have about 30 members at the evening group and by the time the group has been gone through and discussed their week individually, its getting pretty late. My C does mention new products and recipe ideas as part of that though. We also have taster sessions, where we dont do image therapy in its usual form, but just the awards for the week and then we bring things for others to try, and discuss the recipes.

    It might be an idea for you to perhaps suggest when it comes to your turn that you have been struggling a bit for inspiration lately and would love some new ideas to try - open the discussion yourself without being confrontational about it and it might inspire your C to suggest some stuff, which will then lead on to others making suggestions.

    As Avisk said in the other thread along these lines, you get out what you put in, so do ask, or chat to others during the wait for IT to start about what they do during the week and what plan they follow etc... Its a great icebreaker and fills the time nicely until the group starts.
     
  22. Maximus

    Maximus Gold Member

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    Can I just say as a new starter, absolutely delighted for you and your loss - you're within touching distance of target, and if I can achieve similar I will put up with all the grumpiness (inc. my own) in the world.
     
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