Hannah's Lighter Life: The RTM Edition!

[hanmac]

Day 19

Hi all,

Today i've eaten:
Breakfast-Vanilla Shake
Morning snack-Apple
Lunch- LL Veg soup
Afternoon snack- Muller light
Dinner- Prawn and tuna (from a can) salad
Evening Snacks- SF Jelly and a WW yoghurt.
Have also been snacking on frozen berries throughout the evening (need to stop this!)

Have the day off tomorrow, which is great as can go to my spinning class at 10am, then go for my weekly shop at tesco's to get all my stuff for RTM Week 4. I'll post more info about week 4 and what I buy tomorrow. Then at 6pm I have my meeting. Am really not sure what to expect weight wise this week, have read mixed reviews of week 3 with some people still losing and others gaining due to re-introducing fruit. So will just have to wait and see. Have my fingers crossed!

Have planned out all my meals for next week and am really looking forward to being able to cook veg again! As much as I love my nightly salad, I do need a change, and now the weather is getting even colder it'll be nice to have warm meals

Hope everyone is doing well
xxxxxx

 

[hanmac]

Day 20

Hi everyone,

Had a good day today as had the day off work, so did lots of random bits and bobs which needed doing!
Woke up and went to the gym, as there is a spinning class at 10am which I love as its 30 minutes long, not the usual 45 minutes. Thought it would be better to ease myself back in to spinning, and I love the instructor as she is really motivating, so really enjoyed that. Then stayed at the gym for a bit longer, I really do love the gym. Once I get there I never want to leave! it's just finding the time to go that's the problem.

I'll get back to the rest of my day in a minute, but of course today was WEIGH IN DAY!!
So this week I lost....
0 ibs!!
Haha, I stayed exactly the same! Which I was expecting, as a) I ate my dinner literally 10 minutes before I went to the meeting b) I've been snacking way too much on mushrooms and c) it's RTM so technically i'm not meant to be losing weight anymore.
So overall I wasn't surprised in the slightest!
Am just happy to be maintaing my weight, and not gaining!

Since I had the afternoon off, it meant I could go do my big weekly shop and take time to pick out food, not the usual mad dash I do after my meeting! So with my shopping list and meal plan in hand I headed off. I really liked my outfit today so thought i'd post a pic!

So in Week 4 you can add:
More vegetables (including aubergines, asparagus, courgettes etc.) which can be frozen, tinned and bottled.
But the most exciting news of all is that fruit and veg can be COOKED!
Wahooooo! Now the weather is getting colder, i'm really looking forward to warm meals

Here is what I bought today:

Bought some aubergines and greek yoghurt, as on Saturday am going to make my low-fat, low-calorie Mousakka, which I am already excited about! Have lots of new meal ideas for this week so will be posting up pics again, as for the past couple of weeks i've been in a food rut!

So today i've eaten:
Breakfast- Frozen berries and yoghurt
Morning Snack- Apple
Lunch- LL Veg Soup
Afternoon Snack- WW Yoghurt
Dinner- Bolognese Sauce with salad
Evening Snacks- SF Jelly and have a LL toffee bar for later.

Random, but today I froze my jelly by accident. Put my jelly in the freezer to make it coler and meant to take it out, but completely forgot! So when I went to eat it this evening it was frozen...but tasted amazing!!! Kind of reminded me of a big cold wine gum! Bizarre I know. And it took me longer to eat which was a bonus.

In my LL group tonight we talked about boundaries. So my mission for this week is to cut out the unnecessary snacking. No more mushrooms filled with salsa or sweet chilli sauce (my latest downfall)!

Wish me luck
xxxxxx

 

[hanmac]

I'm sat here on the verge of tears and i'm really not sure exactly why, think loads of things have just built up over this week.
I've been searching for a job and getting nowhere, and the emails of rejections were ok at first but now it's just getting really disheartening and depressing. I've almost run out of companies to approach and I just don't know what to do. I emailed my uni tutor and her reply said 'oh dear that is bad news'.
I keep going back to my house after work and feel claustrophobic, the people I live with are all at uni so pretty much have everyday off, and don't understand that when I get home I really do just want to chill. Tonight we are having a party for my friends birthday and I don't want to go, as none of my friends are invited, and it's going to be boozy with lots of 'yummy' food that I can't eat. After a horrible week I really am not in the mood to be at a party, drinking water and trying to resist eating when all I want to do is eat cake and feel sorry for myself. But since it's at my house I have no choice.
I really wish I could just move somewhere else, i've never been truly happy since I came to uni, and would love to just escape. I just feel trapped at the moment in this situation, and have no clue how to make things better.

I know this isn't technically to do with Lighter Life. But I think Lighter Life has given me the confidence to put myself first, and it's dawned on me how unhappy I am at the moment.
Ah I feel better getting that off my chest!
I know thing's will all work out in the end, but today it just feels far away.

 

[MagdaX]

Move to London darling! This is the place to be and I am sure you'll have a better chance finding a good job!

Joking aside, sending you a virtual hug! Don't give up, failure is not an option! Not for a fighter like you!

 

[hanmac]

Morning all.
I've always been completely honest in my diaries, so feel that I should share with you what happened last night. It was my friends birthday and she had a party at our house.

After a really bad week, I phoned my mum and had a good old cry! About the job situation, food...everything. And she told me to 'just have a bit of cake'. Now I know this may sound unsupportive of lighter life, by my mum has been by biggest support the whole way through. Over the past few months i've almost become 'scared' of normal food, and the fact that I built it up in my head so much before the party last night goes to prove this. I've started to memorize the calorie contents of food and stuff like that, which is becoming a bit of an obsession. So I made the adult decision to have an evening off. I decided after my dinner (which was a nice healthy stir fry), that I would allow myself what I wanted, but that it would only last ONE evening and i'd go straight back to normal today.

(*WARNING*- food talk below!)
It was all going well, I had some chocolate, a fairy cake, and a few rice krispie cakes. I was enjoying the party, and it actually felt nice to 'eat normally'. I wasn't drinking alcohol, but felt more relaxed being able to eat and not feel like the 'freak' in the corner.
At about 12pm things went downhill. I'd given myself the cut off time of 12pm to stop eating. So I decided to have another fairy cake, and rice krispie cake to 'make the most of it'. I then felt really sick, and angry at myself and i'm ashamed to say that ran upstairs and made myself sick. I spent the rest of the party drinking water.

Reflecting on it this morning, I realise I should have either a)Still eaten what I did, but accepted that I had eaten it, not made myself sick, and just dealt with it. My LLC always talks about the 80/20 rule and I need to learn when to treat myself and when to restrain or b) Not have eaten at all.

Right now i'm still not sure what the right decision would have been. But I am dissapointed with how I reacted, and how I went back to my old ways. I know it's awful that I feel better today knowing I got some of it out my system last night. But today things are going back to normal, i'm off to the gym in a minute. And instead of having 2 LL packs today combined with meals, snacks and fruit etc. I am having 3 packs, 1 meal and no fruit or snacks. Hopefully by compensating for some of the calories today and over the week I won't have a gain on Thursday.

Sorry for this long post, things will be back to normal today!

 

[tracyd]

hannah i really felt for you when i was reading this post! and do you know what i think i would have done the exact same......dont want to admit i would but its true! you poor thing thats not good making yourself sick honey. over the past few weeks im becoming more and more scared of "food" dont like how its making me feel and i havent even started eating again yet, big hug for you xx

 

[nutty me]

Hi Hannah,

I realise it must have been hard for you to be truthful with us. This is positive that you are aware of what happened, why it happened. In life we will all be in situations where we will be tested, we have to live our lives and at times we will indulge. We know that we cant do it every day because if we do all the hard work will disappear. do not beat yourself up - you are back on track again today and thats what it is about not continuing down that road. Please dont be making yourself sick, that is not a road to go down ,I realise this was most likely in a state of panic. Remember dont feel guilty about enjoying yourself, was this the first time you did not follow LL? I would think most people would go a bit mad, and i personnally think that would be normal. A friend of mine ate bags of crisps in one day ( an unbelievable amount!!) like you felt guilty, got back on track like you the next day and times after was more in control and 18 months down the line follows the 80/20 rule and has kept the weight off but still enjoys her food.
In life other things put us to the test and it sounds like you have a lot of things going on in your life at the moment and this is the test. I always use food at times of stress and unhappiness and have not always been aware of this. For me this is an area i will need to work on. So you had a moment of weakness in months of success - this is ok and these are our tests and today you have moved on.
Well done Hannah for picking yourself up today, dusting down and carrying on. Hope you had a good work out at the gym. will be thinking of you today, and thank you for sharing.
best wishes
Sam x

 

[hanmac]

Thank you Tracy and Sam for your replies, and being so supportive.
I felt disappointed in myself this morning, was just amazed at how easily I went back to my old habits (making myself sick) but I actually feel more positive now, as I don't want to feel like this again so it's given me a renewed focus and determination. Plus I got all my cravings out my system last night so it'll be easier to stay on track from now on.
I'm putting in the past and moving on

 

[hanmac]

Evening everyone!

If your like me your probably watching the X factor right now!
Have had a busy day today, had a party at our house last night for my housemates birthday so it was a late night, but was woken up at 8.30 by a man from parcelforce delivering a parcel! Was a blessing in disguise though as since I was up I went to the gym, and was enjoyed watching Saturday Kitchen! Then came home, went in to Manchester to get said housemate a present, and then by the time I got home it was dinner and X factor time!

So today i've eaten:
Breakfast: Vanilla Shake
Lunch: LL Vegetable Soup
Dinner: Omlette with salad
Snack: LL Toffee bar for later!

REALLY enjoyed my dinner.
I made a omlette with peppers, mushrooms and red onion, using two eggs. Also grilled some asparagus and aubergine and mixed it in with some spinach to make a warm salad, with balsamic vinegar dressing. YUMMY!

As you can see the omlette got a bit scrambled haha! Didn't use a very good non stick pan so it didn't flip very well...but it tasted amazing and that's what counts!
So now I will divert my attention back to Cheryl and Danni's lovely outfits. Hope you are all having a lovely weekend
xxxxxx

 

[hanmac]

Day 23

Today has flown by, and I now have that 'Sunday evening' feeling. It's like being back at school and dreading having to wake up early in the morning! But oh well, am going home for a week on Friday so am very excited about that!

Woke up this morning, far too early for a Sunday, so decided to make the most of it and go to a spinning class at my gym. It was great, I sweated like a beast and really felt the burn! The instructor was hilarious! I do love spinning, I really love pushing myself.
Then I just stayed in the gym on the machines and using the weights, couldn't believe it when I left and i'd been there for well over 2 hours! Popped in to tesco to get some more onions, I swear the amount of veg i'm getting through at the moment is shocking!

Got home, did my weekly 'clean', and just sorted my life out really.
Then for dinner I made my own version of Mousakka, which was low fat and low in calories! Roughly 267 cals a serving! But I added some extra peppers and onions which pushed the cal content up a bit. I took my eyes off it for 2 seconds so it ended up a bit browner than I would have liked, but was still yummy!

I served it with a warm veg salad. Here is the recipe if you would like to give the mousakka a try! Hannah's Lighter Mousakka

So today i've eaten
Breakfast- Yoghurt and berries
Lunch- Lighter Life Vegetable Soup
Afternoon Snack- Kiwi fruit (which tasted really bad!) so I had a WW yoghurt
Dinner- Mousakka and salad
Evening Snack- SF Jelly and have a toffee bar for later

I'm about to snuggle up in bed and watch the film 'Up' as i've never seen it!
xxxxxx

 

[MagdaX]

Hi Hannah.
Looks like you're feeling much better already!
You seem to be on top of things again which is great!
I'm sure spending some time at home will help too! (jealous!)
Hope you enjoyed the movie.
Very inspiring isn't it?!

 

[hanmac]

Day 25

Just a quick update from me tonight as I am shattered!
I'm really loving making big stir fry's with lots of yummy veg at the moment, so my meals have been quite similar day to day!

Today i've had:
Breakfast: Yoghurt and berries
Morning Snack: Apple
Lunch: LL vegetable soup
Afternoon Snack: WW Yoghurt
Dinner: Soy Salmon with stirfry
Dessert: Sugar Free Jelly
Evening Snack: LL Toffee bar.

Went to the gym this morning and really enjoyed my spinning class. Have been going 4 times a week and it seems to be working for me so am very happy Fingers crossed for my weigh in on Thurs!

Heres a piccy of my dinner

My favourite salmon! With a lovely jubly stir fry, am loving beansprouts at the moment as they remind me of noodles so makes me feel like i'm eating my favourite food, pad thai!

Hope everyone is doing well
xxxxx

 

[River]

Hannah, Ive been reading your diary and your doing so fab. I just hope i can do as well as you huni! Your food looks so amazing, i cant wait to use some of your recipes when i get to my goal because they look so good! I just cant believe how much you can still eat, i honestly thought id be on lettice leaves for the rest of my life lol but you have made some truly yummy food and given me an insight on rtm . x

 

[hanmac]

Euuugh am feeling really under the weather today, think a really stressful week, combined with the flu/cold/bug that seems to be doing the rounds at the moment, I just feel rough! My head literally feels like it's going to explode.

But it's weigh in day, wahooooo!
This week I feel like i've put on weight, not 100% sure why, but it wouldn't surprise me if I had.
But am trying to think sensibly, if I have put on weight then it's only one week and i'll lose it easily by healthy eating and going to the gym. Have just felt like i've been eating loads lately, even though its all 'RTM approved' stuff.

Will see how it goes!
xxxx

 

[Kim26]

Good luck with your weigh in Hannah - you are doing amazingly well! I keep looking at your diary thinking "when i am on rtm i can eat that" haha i'm only on week 5! But you are seriously a huge inspiration

 

[kathryn B]

Hope your weigh in went well Hannah and hope you are feeling better.
Im loving reading your posts -you are so inspiring. I just wish I was doing RTM now!!

 

[hanmac]

Morning everyone,

Had my weigh in last night and lost just under a pound, which was great! Wasn't expecting to have lost anything so was very pleased, I went from 73.9kg to 73.7kg, so think i'll be happy if I get to 73kg by the end of RTM.

Am going home for a week today which I am very excited about! Packed up all my fruit and veg this morning so will definitely been sticking to RTM whilst i'm at home, but now I am on week 5 of RTM I can have starchy veg like carrots and sweet potatoes, as well as alcohol! So am looking forward to going out for a nice meal with my family

Hope everyone is doing well
xxxxx

 

[hanmac]

Thank you Kim and Kathryn!
Am glad you are enjoying reading this blog, sometimes I worry that people must be sick of me blabbing on by now! Haha, I was exactly the same and started looking forward to RTM in week 1 of abstinence!
But you'll be on RTM before you know it Time flies by!
xxxx

 

[MagdaX]

Well done Hannah!
You look amazing in your new pic!
Men in your hometown- better watch out!!!

 

[Spanglymum]

Love your new photo - you look so happy and beautiful! I'm in awe of what you have achieved on LL. You give me hope! You're so honest in the way you write your posts - especially your recent ones - and I feel I can identify with a lot of things in your journey. Just hope I end up as slim as you are - you look brilliant!