happy being fat?

[Sooh]

Its a difficult one to really answer as I am sure there must be some people who are overweight and happy but sadly I do honestly believe they are in the minority. However, some people are fortunate to be very confident and despite their size and weight, do look incredibly gorgeous and feel fit and active and if they do get negative reactions from people they have the ability to shrug them off! I suppose if you are such a person then weight is not such a big issue to you and you will be happy in both your own skin and with your life but for a lot of overweight people, life can be a living hell!

However, I urge anyone who is overweight to be very cautious and to think to the future as believe you me, sooner or later your weight will affect your body and your wellbeing and I know first hand just what damage obesity can reek on a person's life! Health is a major factor and when you are young and have your whole life in front of you, middle age can seem a lifetime away and you do not forsee the damage that being overweight can have on your life but believe you me as you get older, no matter how fit and fat you have been throughout your life, it will eventually take it's toll on your body and that is when being overweight can become for many people a very real and serious issue! Just like a smoker .......... you can get away with such bad habits for a good many years but eventually bad habits catch up with you and like so many people we only realise this when the damage is done or it's far too late and the same goes for being overweight too.

If I can offer any advice to anyone, regardless as to whether they are happy being fat or not, then it would be to get you weight down and give yourself the best chance possible of a long and healthy future and if you have a young family to care for then you owe it to them to be around to see them grow up!

Sue

 

[sweety-cheeks]

I have a friend who is very overweight and yet does nothing about it. she is always talking about losing weight but seems to be stuck in a rut. Have not seen her in a while so maybe when she sees all the weight i hope to lose she will be joining up but have a feeling she will stay as she is.

 

[msblonde]

very interesting thread!

I think you can be generally happy in most circumstances, however, being happy about being overweight, i dont think so.

unless there is a psyiological advantage or psychological advantage - there is nothing to make you happy! unless they are consuming serotoin inducing food 24/7!

allyj hit the nail on the head with the description of being happy eating, but then unyhappy about all the restrictions that being overweight causes.

I am generally a happy person, whatever my weight, and that was a conscious choice everyday to choose to be happy. was i happy being over weight - no. would i have been happier weighing less? probably. am i happy to be losing weight - defo!

being happy with yourself is different to being happy because of a specific situation. when we are all skinny mini's, we will still have the odd down day, we will still get fed up from time to time, but we will be happier with a section of our life - weight - that may have bothered us before. but we will still experience a wide range of emotions.

As for saying flat stomachs and slim people are disgusting, i think your friend has real issues that need proffessional help.

i'm sorry to say this mate, but i think your friend is either a fruit cake or on drugs!

 

[rainbow brite]

Lol msblonde! I'm not sure Julz's friend is a fruit cake or on drugs, I just think that she herself has neither a slim figure or a flat stomach and therefore makes dealing with this fact easier on herself by declaring that she doesn't want them anyway because they are 'disgusting'. I very much doubt that this is something she truly believes deep down, and if she does believe it then I think that this is only because she's told it to herself so many times that it's become a truth to her.

 

[Gene Genie]

Even tho im on LT to lose weight , I have never looked in the mirror and thought I dont like what I see, I have been big from being a kid and its a part of me. Being fat has never bothered me , It isnt an acceptance I am and have always been happy with the way I look . Being unhealthy however did start to become a problem hence LT,
I am losing weight to help me conceive and to enable me to run around after an ankle biter, but if the doctor said tomorrow give up LT its not for you I would be gutted about the whole baby issue but wouldnt really be bothered that I was still fat

as the song goes " I am what I am and what I am needs no excuses"

 

[msblonde]

no offence intended btw julz

 

[thefutureisbright]

HEY

This thread was started soooo long ago that I am suprised to see it has popped up again!

It is a very interesting subject though!

I am not that friendly with my friend anymore... I think we have grown so apart that we have different opinions on EVERYTHING now, not just weight loss, but complete lifestyle choices. We are complete opposites and she has taken her road and I am taking mine. Thats life I guess... everyone changes and forms different ideas about life and what happiness is... my friend is definitley a live for the now person, short term pleasure... but I believe that this results in long term pain... so I live my entire life very differently to her as I am always thinking of achieving long term pleasure in my life (which kinda grates on her big time)...

I was upset at the breakdown of this friendship but I feel I have accepted it as part of life's journey - I still care for my friend but I dont take her into my confidence like I used to as I know that she ridicules and rejects most of what I believe in and how i live my life.

x

 

[Sooh]

This thread was started soooo long ago that I am suprised to see it has popped up again!

It is a very interesting subject though!

I am not that friendly with my friend anymore... I think we have grown so apart that we have different opinions on EVERYTHING now, not just weight loss, but complete lifestyle choices. We are complete opposites and she has taken her road and I am taking mine. Thats life I guess... everyone changes and forms different ideas about life and what happiness is... my friend is definitley a live for the now person, short term pleasure... but I believe that this results in long term pain... so I live my entire life very differently to her as I am always thinking of achieving long term pleasure in my life (which kinda grates on her big time)...

I was upset at the breakdown of this friendship but I feel I have accepted it as part of life's journey - I still care for my friend but I dont take her into my confidence like I used to as I know that she ridicules and rejects most of what I believe in and how i live my life.

x

I think all any of us can do is be true to ourselves and live our lives according to what we think is important and a good friend respects your choices. Obviously if we see a valued friend heading for disaster we would try to guide them gently back on the right route but that is all any of us can do and in the end they make the final decisions about the road they tread don't they?

It is sad that your friendship has dwindled but if your friend ridicules and rejects most of your values and beliefs then truthfully her friendship is questionable and I for one think you are probably doing yourself the biggest favour ever by taking a step back.

I am sure if your friend ever needs you you will be there for her but it looks like maybe you have outgrown your 'old' friend along with a lot of other 'old' habits and you now realise that you only have one life and so how you choose to live it is extremely important to you. Take it as a sign that you are well and truly going to live up to your name "thefutureisbright" and that you have finally stepped out from the shadows and emerged into the sunlight and oh what a wonderfully sunny future you have ahead of you!

All the best.

Sue

 

[thefutureisbright]

thanks sue! that was really well worded... and very true xox xox

 

[izmirka]

Hi,
Are there people who genuinely love being fat? Or are they just in a stage of denial?

Well, i never loved being fat, but that doesn't mean I was always unhappy about it. Sometimes when I looked in the mirror I thought- damn, I look GOOD! As everyone, I had better days followed by worse days. I guess I actually noticed my weight problem when I went on CD. I actually feel fatter now than before the diet, even though I now lost more than 4 stone. It's not the best, because I don't actually feel my body changing, I just feel fatter and fatter even though I know I've lost a lot of weight, and all of my trousers are falling off of me.
I guess CD caused me to look at myself differently, and I don't think I'll be fully satisfied until I reach a BMI of 19/20 or smth, and at the beginning of the diet I wanted to reach a healthy BMI of 24 The closer I get to my goal weight, the more I think a BMI of 24 is way too much, and I keep thinking of going lower and lower. I am seriously worried that after CD I'm gonna have a big problem with some kind of eating disorder...

 

[Sooh]

Hi Izmurka,

Firstly, let me say a big well done for losing so much weight as I am sure health wise, you have made a really life changing and sensible move as there is no doubt about it, being overweight is not good for you! I know through my own weight battle that obesity has eventually affected my health and I truly never thought it would as many a time I would put my slimmer friends to shame with my energy levels and my hard working nature but sadly as I grew older my weight has taken it's toll - so I strongly urge anyone, regardless of fitness levels to reduce their BMI as this truly is the biggest favour you could ever pay your body!

However, I am concerned to hear that psychologically you are having such a rough time adjusting to all the changes and therefore after reading all about your worries and fears for the future etc I seriously suggest you speak to your consultant or perhaps visit your GP and explain to him everything you mentioned in your post so that he can refer to you the right person for this kind of problem and maybe someone professional and knowledgeable in the field of weight and weight related issues will be able to help you? The last thing you want or need is to swap one set of problems for another and maybe losing weight has opened up some deep rooted reasons why food is an issue in your life and you therefore may have even been hiding behind your weight for all these years - who knows your weight may have acted as some kind of security blanket for you to wrap yourself securely in? I am no expert and therefore I am only assuming such things but this could explain why as your weight reduces you are feeling more and more exposed and vulnerable? Like I say, I am no expert in this field so I cannot safely advise or diagnose you one way or another as to what may be causing you to feel so negative so PLEASE do not rely on my explanation as I am only guessing at the reasons - but I am sure with professional guidance and support you can get through this and emerge a happy and healthy lady and therefore once again, I urge you to please visit your GP for professional advice.

Good luck and well done!

Sue

 

[rainbow brite]

Well, i never loved being fat, but that doesn't mean I was always unhappy about it. Sometimes when I looked in the mirror I thought- damn, I look GOOD! As everyone, I had better days followed by worse days. I guess I actually noticed my weight problem when I went on CD. I actually feel fatter now than before the diet, even though I now lost more than 4 stone. It's not the best, because I don't actually feel my body changing, I just feel fatter and fatter even though I know I've lost a lot of weight, and all of my trousers are falling off of me.
I guess CD caused me to look at myself differently, and I don't think I'll be fully satisfied until I reach a BMI of 19/20 or smth, and at the beginning of the diet I wanted to reach a healthy BMI of 24 The closer I get to my goal weight, the more I think a BMI of 24 is way too much, and I keep thinking of going lower and lower. I am seriously worried that after CD I'm gonna have a big problem with some kind of eating disorder...

Hey doll. Personally I think this is perfectly normal. We are losing weight but as we see ourselves every day (lol) we do not notice it like other people do. Also, we set a target but as we near this target we realise that we might not be perfectly happy at that weight and so we lower it and try to attain the new lower BMI.

Perhaps you set a target of 24 as you thought that would be realistically the best you could do but now you've realised that you can indeed go the distance and want to.

I would say if you think you're having irrational thoughts/fears about weight gain or food then yes, definitely speak to a professional. However if you're just a little anxious about putting on the weight once you come off the diet, as are most of us, then continue on your merry way until you are at a weight at which you are happy.

If you get down to a BMI of 19 and still think you're fat then I do think you've got yourself a problem. Trust me when I say eating disorders ain't funny and it's best they get nipped in the bud if at all possible.

Much love xxx

 

[izmirka]

well, i guess all my life i went from one extreme to the other. when i tried losing weight before, i simply stopped eating, and then started binging again. my family always told me how fat i was, ever since i can remember (my mother is absolutely crazy about her weight, and she used to have anorexia herself when she was young, and since then every kg was like a disaster for her). every time i went to visit my mother/ grandmother/ father etc, the only thing i heard over the years was how fat i was, followed by them showing me where my problem areas were. everybody in my family is thin (well, except from my grandfather from my father's side), one of my cousins is actually desperately trying to gain weight because he is so skinny. i think that when i finally decided to try this crazy diet, i want to be as thin as possible, so that they will finally stop picking on me
it's kind of sad really, coz i was even deathly afraid of switching to the 810 calorie diet after 3 months of doing SS, and I finally managed to switch today (well, yesterday actually), more than a week later than i should have, although i am not sure if i am gonna be able to keep it up for a week before going to SS again. 810 just seems like so much now, and i'm paranoid that i'll stop losing weight. it just takes all the fun away from losing the weight. my CDC is always laughing at me, because when she tells me how much weight i lost, i don't really look like i'm happy about it. i guess i'm a CD anomaly

 

[izmirka]

i try to stay positive though- i started drawing a lot recently apparently it's supposed to help u get rid of anxiety, or smth like that

 

[Sooh]

Hi Izmirka my dear,

I think what has happened in your past and all the obsession with weight and food in your family has definitely contributed to you own issues with food and weight and to be constantly told you are fat must have truly affected your relationship with both the food you eat and more importantly yourself?

Personally, I think it is wonderful that you are talking about all this on the forum and by doing so you are a good way towards solving the problem. A problem shared is a problem halved and I am sure many members on this forum will jump to your assistance and encourage you to finally get the proper help you need.

I think you sound like a very sensible lady, which leads me to thinking that deep down you are aware that your family's unhealthy approach and unkind remarks are indeed very wrong and that in order to live a happy and healthy life you cannot afford to follow in their footsteps!

Izmirka, with all due respect to your family I must say that after reading your post I ask you to please NOT rely on your family to advise you in this matter as their interpretation of a sensible weight and sensible eating are obviously thwart with concerns and promise me that you will seek out professional help from someone who understands the benefits of a healthy weight loss by sticking to a healthy and maintainable eating plan? Please speak to your doctor asap and tell him exactly what you have told us and if he is unsympathetic ............ get a second opinion!

I know I am no doctor but I am happy to help you, even if it is simply to lend a friendly, listening ear and I am sure other members of this forum will come along and offer you the same support too. Don't bottle things up, continue to talk openly and if you can learn one thing from sharing your feelings - it is that your family need help far more than you do and maybe by you being the one to show them the correct way, this will help to put them on the right road for their own journey to recovery too!

Sue

 

[izmirka]

nah, i don't think i will be able to change their viewpoint i've been telling my mom she's too thin for ages, to no avail, only recently she gained a little weight, but that's because of her getting older.
it's a little different in poland than in the UK, most ppl here are thin, and even if u weigh 10 stone u are considered fat by many people. we don't have shops like Evans, sizes usually go up to a UK size 14 at most, and if u want a size 16 or more u really have to look for it a lot, and the clothes are usually real ugly. theoretically we have sizes 16 in "normal" shops, but they're actually 14s when compared to UK sizes. the most popular size is a size S. so basically in order to fit in here, u need to be thin:|

 

[izmirka]

for example, according to around 30% of ppl leaving comments on polish gossip sites think Eva Mendes is too fat, and Victoria Beckham is the quintessence of beauty

 

[Sooh]

Well Izmirka all I can say is it is up to you now to show by example! You clearly understand just by the comments you make, that how your family and people in general (especially those in Poland) look at weight related lissues is not the correct way and in fact it would seem that going by your own experiences in life that the need to fit into the right 'box' only goes to put more pressure on people to be slim and this inevitably creates far more problems than it solves.

I think what you need to do is concentrate on YOU, get you where you need to be and when your family and friends can see you are happy, healthy and slimmer and all whilst still being able to enjoy a well balanced and healthy diet then maybe something inside their heads will click into place and they will see for themselves that they have indeed got it all wrong - but if not, then you must just put your own life in order and do what you know is right and sensible for you! Learn by your own family's mistakes and make sure history doesn't repeat itself and just thank your lucky stars that you have had the opportunity to see this problem from a far more enlightened view point?

Good luck!

Sue x

 

[izmirka]

i think i just had a bad day, i'm fine now my bad mood might be caused by the fact that my TOTM actually lasts a month... so i'm almost constantly in a bad mood

 

[cuddlyfairy]

Izmirka, sorry to hear you have been having a rough time. Hope you feel better soon.

My mum has always been obsessed with weight and even described me as a fat baby even though I was her lightest! My sister was bulamic for years and still panics coz her size 10's are tight!

I rebelled and ate because she couldn't stop me. Not surprising I ended up morbidly obese! I finally decided to lose weight for me so I could see my beautiful children grow up. Typically, despite losing 5 stone she hasn't said much. She only made a comment when I had lost well over 3 stone coz my MIL complimented me and she couldn't ignore that. Then she just said you could see the loss in my face. She didn't tell my sister how much I had lost which was why she was so unprepared when she saw me last Sunday.

You must lose weight till YOU are happy with what you look like. I feel that even when I do get to target my mum will still find something to moan about so I'm doing this for me not her!

Good luck babe.

x