Heartbroken

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by Emma1904, 14 April 2011 Social URL.

  1. Emma1904

    Emma1904 Working on it

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    Hello all,

    Today I found out that my access to my 5 year old niece has been stopped as has my brothers (Her Dad). Her mum claims that my brother has a mental health problem (he doesn't) and is dangerous (he isn't) and that my lifestyle (being a lesbian) is having a detrimental affect on my niece, I would just like to point out that I am engaged to be married, in a very loving and successful relationship and am raising a happy, healthy, perfectly well adjusted 4 year old boy. I am heartbroken, I knew my ex-sister in law was spiteful but this is crushing, I'm heartbroken, for my brother and my family and mainly for her, she isn't going to understand where we have gone and is going to think we've just left her, my son isn't going to understand why he can't see his only cousin.

    I covered the heartbreak with food, KFC to be exact and if I had been able to get child care I would have gone out and got wasted with my brother. Now I feel a bit sick but the pain of losing her is more, it's going to take a long and nasty court case to gain any kind of access to her again :-(

    Just felt like I had to confess that I had eaten x x x
     
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  3. PinkMantha

    PinkMantha time to get focused

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    tomorrow is a new day hun x chin up x
     
  4. Lily

    Lily Gold Member

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    Oh Emma... {{{hugs }}}. I'm so sorry x

    What an awful thing to happen. Having been through something similar, I really can sympathise x x

    There's nothing I can say to make things better - except, and it's tiny in the circumstances - don't worry about the food. You had to do 'something'.

    Thinking of you and hoping that maybe, just maybe, she'll have a change of heart.

    :hug99:
     
  5. loveablemonkey

    loveablemonkey Full Member

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    Surely unless she can prove her allegations, she doesn't have a foot to stand on, legally? Courts are very reluctant to stop access unless there is a very good reason!
     
  6. tinkerbellsmum

    tinkerbellsmum Gold Member

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    oh hun. i'm so sorry. I can imagine how heart broken you both must feel but I agree with loveablemonkey I know it will be a long job but the courts will let you see her again because her reasons are silly and unfounded.
    I think its terriable when people use there children to get back at people.
    hope it all gets sorted for you quick hun. stay strong it will fly by.
     
  7. sasha63

    sasha63 I ♥ CD !!

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    (((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) HUN
    lm really feeling your pain hun my sister died nearly 8yrs ago and her husband went away with his new '' woman'' a couple months later taking her children with them we had no access for a long time, we see them occasionally now as they are both in their late teens and they wish to see us l hope everything works out xxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  8. B2B25/8

    B2B25/8 Full Member

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    I'm sorry to hear that Hun but having had experience of this myself in my possession and on what you have said i would say your brother should go and see someone fast about making an application to the court. The courts frown on situations where a mother has stopped Contact with a parent for no justifiable reason but the sooner he acts the better. Good luck!
     
  9. B2B25/8

    B2B25/8 Full Member

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    Sorry i meant profession!
     
  10. *Mrs*J*

    *Mrs*J* Member

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    aww im really sorry to hear the awfull suitation your in but dont worry about your blip you will get back on the wagon and the courts will surely reinstate your accesss xxx
     
  11. PinkyBoo

    PinkyBoo Member

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    Get some good free legal advice. You can always take a break from CD until your in the right frame of mind to get back on it. Be strong, people never think of the kids on these situations as they're the ones who miss out when parents stop them seeing family. When will they learn they're not pawns xx

    Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
     
  12. sumayyah

    sumayyah please try again

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    so sorry the mother is doing this to your family
    definatly get your brother to see a lawyer as soon as humanly possible to put in a request for access
    ive been thru the system ( thou slightly different in that i was trying to get my ex to see my daughter ) and i saw mothers turning up to cases where they had messed around the dads and paternal relatives access, one in fact the courts got sick of her games and handed custody to the father.
    so sorry you have to do this but her lies will catch her out and the courts take false allegations in these cases very seriously

    the food issue, dont even think about it, its insignificant compared to what your dealing with

    ((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))
     
  13. Caroline83

    Caroline83 Full Member

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    I have no real advise or anything just wanted to send my love and say thinking of you. Some of the advise from the otheres sounds spot on though. Hope she see's that the only losser in that situation is her child!
     
  14. Emma1904

    Emma1904 Working on it

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    Thank you so much for your kind words, my brother and I have been to the solicitors this morning and there is light at the end if the tunnel it's just may take us a while to get there. In the meantime my mother is devastated, my niece is her only biological grandchild (she treats my son no different but we only came into his life when he was two and has a very special bond with his biological nanny) I don't really know what to do to make her feel better as I know that all she wants to do is give my niece a cuddle and hear her say 'i love you nanny' .

    I've got my head back into CD today but am feeling awful having firmly booted myself out of ketosis, more exhausted than anything else. So I'm lying in bed now and I'm going to get some rest whilst little man is at nursery... The housework etc can wait for another day. Hope you are all well today xxx
     
  15. PinkyBoo

    PinkyBoo Member

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    Hugs and best of luck :wave_cry:
     
  16. Spitfirex

    Spitfirex Full Member

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    I am very sorry to hear that. I really do hope that you are granted access to her again. Surely no one, at all, within the legal system is going to take her side about your sexuality being an issue, especially as you have a child of your own!
     
  17. sasha63

    sasha63 I ♥ CD !!

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    (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))) for your mum too
     
  18. Bethuk1

    Bethuk1 Full Member

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    This is much more common than people realise, around 2 years ago my evil and quite frankly insane sister in law stopped all family contact with our now 7 year old niece. We fought a long court battle with her and to cut a long story short she now lives with my in-laws permanently. I know first hand how you are feeling, don't let the anger get to you there will be a resolution to this xx
     
  19. old_user45

    old_user45 Silver Member

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    Hi Hun,

    Just to reiterate what others have said. This is awful and I really feel for you. Hope seeing the solicitor this morning helped you both. For when it comes to thecourt case just make sure your brother has a much proof as possible of:
    1) his attempts to get contact (even texts, FB messages, emails, letters will count)
    2) attempts by you and you mum/family to get contact
    3) any things she's said/done wrong over the years
    4) his stable mental health
    5) the stable environment he can offer his daughter when he has contact

    As for your sexuality being brought up, that is ridiculous. The childs mother may not agree with your lifestyle, but she has no leg to stand on saying it affects her daughter at all.

    Hope it works out for you all soon

    :)
     
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