Heartbroken

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by roundrachel, 11 April 2009 Social URL.

  1. roundrachel

    roundrachel Silver Member

    Posts:
    1,030
    Likes Received:
    64
    Diet:
    Lighter Life
    my OH of 13 years has revealed he's been seeing someone else since Christmas. On top of everything else this may well be the last straw to push me back into turning to food for comfort.

    Just feel so betrayed. Sick. heartbroken. Don't know who to talk to. He's the one I talk to about everything
     
  2. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Matched Content

  3. Tazzi

    Tazzi is Special :P

    Posts:
    4,645
    Likes Received:
    168
    Start Weight:
    228kg
    Current Weight:
    78kg
    Goal Weight:
    65kg
    Lost(%):
    150kg(65.78%)
    OH Rachel thats horrible. I cant offer any advice i just want to give you HUGS. Vent to us honey. We will listen :) xxx
     
  4. asilasil

    asilasil Full Member

    Posts:
    265
    Likes Received:
    5
    Start Weight:
    18st12lb
    Current Weight:
    14st12lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    4st0lb(21.21%)
    Diet:
    LL
    Oh my god rachel. I am in shock for you my darling.
    When did all this happen? Today? Is he there now?
    I dont know what to say to help you. If you need to chat you can give me a call if you like.
    I am hoping you can talk this through with him but is he serious about this other person??
    Im so sorry honey.
    xx
     
  5. catgirl

    catgirl Full Member

    Posts:
    55
    Likes Received:
    5
    Start Weight:
    14st3lb
    Current Weight:
    12st1lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st7lb
    Lost(%):
    2st2lb(15.08%)
    Diet:
    lighter life
    I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm afraid i have been in a similar situation and even just thinking about it makes me feel uneasy. all i can say is look after yourself, put yourself first and take some time out on your own if you can. telling a friend really helped me as you need some support right now and in time you will feel better again. if you can, use your resolve to stick to the diet as that is doing something kind for yourself rather then hurting yourself more then he has already by bingeing.

    good luck and hugs x
     
  6. roundrachel

    roundrachel Silver Member

    Posts:
    1,030
    Likes Received:
    64
    Diet:
    Lighter Life
    He's not serious about the other woman no. It's just been about sex even though he gets plenty from me. Can't think I'll ever forgive him. I'm at my mum's house. He called to tell me about it.
    So stupid, he got together with her when I was looking my best, at my goal weight.

    Have to remind myself this isn't about me being a bad person. All I've ever done is love him and show I care in so many ways.

    Just in shock. I had no idea. Feel like such a fool
     
  7. alibalibee

    alibalibee Gold Member

    Posts:
    5,931
    Likes Received:
    178
    Start Weight:
    21st4lb
    Current Weight:
    13st11lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st0lb
    Lost(%):
    7st7lb(35.23%)
    Diet:
    SW
    I'm so sorry hun xxxxx
     
  8. asilasil

    asilasil Full Member

    Posts:
    265
    Likes Received:
    5
    Start Weight:
    18st12lb
    Current Weight:
    14st12lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    4st0lb(21.21%)
    Diet:
    LL
    Its as simple as this Rachel...the world is full of 'drains and radiatiors'!! Its a simple way I use to distinguish between lifes givers(radiators) and lifes takers (drains). Im not gonna ask people to guess at witch one of those your OH is at the moment!!!
    Rachel, let the shock die down and then take stock of the situation in the cold light of day. You are a good and strong person...keep believing that and you will come through this a better and more whole person.
    I could cry for you hun I really could.
    Big hugs to you.
    xxx
     
  9. thin_inside

    thin_inside I Can Do This!

    Posts:
    1,334
    Likes Received:
    25
    Start Weight:
    18st12lb
    Current Weight:
    12st9lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st6lb
    Lost(%):
    6st3lb(32.95%)
    Diet:
    LighterLife
    Rachel - sending loads of hugs to you.

    How did your OH feel about your new look and confidence? Was he at all threatened?

    I'm not trying to defend him, just to understand what makes someone throw away a relationship of 13 years. That's a lot of trust and commitment just tossed aside.
     
  10. susianna

    susianna Full Member

    Posts:
    385
    Likes Received:
    15
    Start Weight:
    16st13lb
    Current Weight:
    11st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    5st9lb(33.33%)
    Diet:
    LL -5 st now low carb
    Oh Rach I am so sorry, but asil is so right. Don't make any rash decisions as you need to get your head around things and make sure you make full use of your close friends and family for support .... don't try and face things alone.

    It may seem like it now but this isn't the end of the world and you will come through this a stronger person .... turning to food now although completey understandable will just make you more unhappy in the long run and you have try and put yourself first and do what's best for you.

    You are not a fool, without doubt he is the fool and you so do not deserve what has happend.

    Sending lots of hugs hun .... keep strong. x
     
  11. roundrachel

    roundrachel Silver Member

    Posts:
    1,030
    Likes Received:
    64
    Diet:
    Lighter Life
    I don't think it's anything to do with how I look. When I met him I was 9 stone and a size 8. Over time I piled on weight for various reasons and he stood by me and still loved me. He supported me completely doing LL and loved my new body.

    He's been going through all kinds of stuff and I just think he's gone off and done something really stupid. Somthing that has shattered all the trust.

    I love him. I always will. He's a good man. I can't ever forgive him though
     
  12. Isis

    Isis Ancient Egypt Nut!

    Posts:
    12,598
    Likes Received:
    351
    Current Weight:
    18st3lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Sorry sweetheart and thinking of you too. :hug99:
    I agree, rash decisions are not good when you are in shock. Take good care of YOU and yes, vent about this as much as you feel it helps..xxx
     
  13. IslandBreeze

    IslandBreeze Castaway

    Posts:
    2,271
    Likes Received:
    100
    So sorry to hear that. :hug99:
     
  14. Kik

    Kik Full Member

    Posts:
    345
    Likes Received:
    8
    Start Weight:
    16st1lb
    Current Weight:
    15st9lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st6lb(2.67%)
    I new here but wanted to say how sorry I am for you. Be strong, dont give in to food, then you would never forgive yourself. My OH left 8mths ago after 18yrs. I also can never forgive or forget.
    Remember how far you have come, for you. Im just starting the new me.
     
  15. thin_inside

    thin_inside I Can Do This!

    Posts:
    1,334
    Likes Received:
    25
    Start Weight:
    18st12lb
    Current Weight:
    12st9lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st6lb
    Lost(%):
    6st3lb(32.95%)
    Diet:
    LighterLife
    Rachel - Look after yourself and make sure you have plenty of support close by. Time will help the right decisions to be made. Whatever the outcome it will be a painful and emotionally turbulent time. We're here to listen. xx
     
  16. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

    Posts:
    9,908
    Likes Received:
    344
    Start Weight:
    258lb
    Current Weight:
    228lb
    Goal Weight:
    168lb
    Lost(%):
    30lb(11.63%)
    Diet:
    cambridge
    Rach, really sorry to hear this has happened to you. :( You have been under so much strain recently too, this is the last thing you need.

    Never say never - you will see things more clearly as the dust settles. Couples can learn to trust again, and if things are worth saving, they can and will be saved. But that is a decision to be made at a different time.

    Now is the time to first recover from the shock, and to look after you.

    Thinking of you.

    xxx
     
  17. SerenityValley

    SerenityValley Surgically happy.

    Posts:
    1,367
    Likes Received:
    115
    Start Weight:
    23st8lb
    Current Weight:
    11st9lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st11lb
    Lost(%):
    11st13lb(50.61%)
    Badges:
    Maintainer
    Diet:
    Gastric bypass
    :(

    I am so sorry. I can only imagine.

    Please do not let this push you to food. It won't help or make you feel better. It won't comfort you It won't mask these awful feelings. You're in pain, and you don'#t deserve to be. You also don't deserve to be derailed from being thin and healthy.

    You're in my though.
     
  18. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Advert

  19. Foxtrot

    Foxtrot Is back in the saddle!

    Posts:
    1,385
    Likes Received:
    35
    Start Weight:
    15st5.6lb
    Current Weight:
    14st5.8lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st7.0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st13.8lb(6.4%)
    Diet:
    5:2 Fasting
    Huge hugs Rachel. I hope things are looking a little different this morning and you can focus on you with more clarity. Don't let him derail you into bad eating too!!
     
  20. lucylastic

    lucylastic Silver Member

    Posts:
    572
    Likes Received:
    16
    Start Weight:
    17st6lb
    Current Weight:
    11st8lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st10lb
    Lost(%):
    5st12lb(33.61%)
    Diet:
    LL
    I'm so sorry to hear that Rachel. I can offer no advice, but just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you and really hope things turn a corner for you soon xxx
     
  21. tictac

    tictac Member

    Posts:
    29
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gosh you poor thing - you must be heartbroken. I know its hard but be gentle with yourself and get as much support as you can. I know you must be worried about the LL stuff too but really try and keep the two emotions seperated. We are all with you in spirit. xx
     
  22. EmVeg

    EmVeg Do a little dance!

    Posts:
    954
    Likes Received:
    57
    Start Weight:
    13st9lb
    Current Weight:
    8st2lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st7lb
    Lost(%):
    5st7lb(40.31%)
    Diet:
    LighterLife
    Rach - solid advise from all above. I hope you're feeling a little better this morning, but I'm so sorry that with everything else you are being made to go through this as well.
    Keep strong love x
     
Popular Forums
  1. MiniMins.com is a weight loss support community helping each other on their weight loss journey. We have a multitude of forums, from Slimming World and Exante, to Success Stories. Click the logo at the top right to return to the forum home page at any time.
Loading...
Similar Threads - Heartbroken
  1. Pixie
    Replies:
    8
    Views:
    555