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Heartbroken

#1
my OH of 13 years has revealed he's been seeing someone else since Christmas. On top of everything else this may well be the last straw to push me back into turning to food for comfort.

Just feel so betrayed. Sick. heartbroken. Don't know who to talk to. He's the one I talk to about everything
 
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asilasil

Full Member
S: 18st12lb C: 14st12lb G: 10st0lb Loss: 4st0lb(21.21%)
#3
Oh my god rachel. I am in shock for you my darling.
When did all this happen? Today? Is he there now?
I dont know what to say to help you. If you need to chat you can give me a call if you like.
I am hoping you can talk this through with him but is he serious about this other person??
Im so sorry honey.
xx
 

catgirl

Full Member
S: 14st3lb C: 12st1lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 25.7 Loss: 2st2lb(15.08%)
#4
I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm afraid i have been in a similar situation and even just thinking about it makes me feel uneasy. all i can say is look after yourself, put yourself first and take some time out on your own if you can. telling a friend really helped me as you need some support right now and in time you will feel better again. if you can, use your resolve to stick to the diet as that is doing something kind for yourself rather then hurting yourself more then he has already by bingeing.

good luck and hugs x
 
#5
He's not serious about the other woman no. It's just been about sex even though he gets plenty from me. Can't think I'll ever forgive him. I'm at my mum's house. He called to tell me about it.
So stupid, he got together with her when I was looking my best, at my goal weight.

Have to remind myself this isn't about me being a bad person. All I've ever done is love him and show I care in so many ways.

Just in shock. I had no idea. Feel like such a fool
 

asilasil

Full Member
S: 18st12lb C: 14st12lb G: 10st0lb Loss: 4st0lb(21.21%)
#7
Its as simple as this Rachel...the world is full of 'drains and radiatiors'!! Its a simple way I use to distinguish between lifes givers(radiators) and lifes takers (drains). Im not gonna ask people to guess at witch one of those your OH is at the moment!!!
Rachel, let the shock die down and then take stock of the situation in the cold light of day. You are a good and strong person...keep believing that and you will come through this a better and more whole person.
I could cry for you hun I really could.
Big hugs to you.
xxx
 

thin_inside

I Can Do This!
S: 18st12lb C: 12st9lb G: 9st6lb BMI: 29.5 Loss: 6st3lb(32.95%)
#8
Rachel - sending loads of hugs to you.

How did your OH feel about your new look and confidence? Was he at all threatened?

I'm not trying to defend him, just to understand what makes someone throw away a relationship of 13 years. That's a lot of trust and commitment just tossed aside.
 

susianna

Full Member
S: 16st13lb C: 11st4lb G: 11st0lb Loss: 5st9lb(33.33%)
#9
Oh Rach I am so sorry, but asil is so right. Don't make any rash decisions as you need to get your head around things and make sure you make full use of your close friends and family for support .... don't try and face things alone.

It may seem like it now but this isn't the end of the world and you will come through this a stronger person .... turning to food now although completey understandable will just make you more unhappy in the long run and you have try and put yourself first and do what's best for you.

You are not a fool, without doubt he is the fool and you so do not deserve what has happend.

Sending lots of hugs hun .... keep strong. x
 
#10
I don't think it's anything to do with how I look. When I met him I was 9 stone and a size 8. Over time I piled on weight for various reasons and he stood by me and still loved me. He supported me completely doing LL and loved my new body.

He's been going through all kinds of stuff and I just think he's gone off and done something really stupid. Somthing that has shattered all the trust.

I love him. I always will. He's a good man. I can't ever forgive him though
 

Isis

Ancient Egypt Nut!
C: 18st3lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 39.9
#11
Sorry sweetheart and thinking of you too. :hug99:
I agree, rash decisions are not good when you are in shock. Take good care of YOU and yes, vent about this as much as you feel it helps..xxx
 

Kik

Full Member
S: 16st1lb C: 15st9lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 35.3 Loss: 0st6lb(2.67%)
#13
I new here but wanted to say how sorry I am for you. Be strong, dont give in to food, then you would never forgive yourself. My OH left 8mths ago after 18yrs. I also can never forgive or forget.
Remember how far you have come, for you. Im just starting the new me.
 

thin_inside

I Can Do This!
S: 18st12lb C: 12st9lb G: 9st6lb BMI: 29.5 Loss: 6st3lb(32.95%)
#14
Rachel - Look after yourself and make sure you have plenty of support close by. Time will help the right decisions to be made. Whatever the outcome it will be a painful and emotionally turbulent time. We're here to listen. xx
 

Blonde Logic

Yes. You can.
S: 258lb C: 228lb G: 168lb BMI: 35.7 Loss: 30lb(11.63%)
#15
Rach, really sorry to hear this has happened to you. :( You have been under so much strain recently too, this is the last thing you need.

Never say never - you will see things more clearly as the dust settles. Couples can learn to trust again, and if things are worth saving, they can and will be saved. But that is a decision to be made at a different time.

Now is the time to first recover from the shock, and to look after you.

Thinking of you.

xxx
 

SerenityValley

Surgically happy.
S: 23st8lb C: 10st7lb G: 11st11lb BMI: 21.1 Loss: 13st1lb(55.45%)
#16
:(

I am so sorry. I can only imagine.

Please do not let this push you to food. It won't help or make you feel better. It won't comfort you It won't mask these awful feelings. You're in pain, and you don'#t deserve to be. You also don't deserve to be derailed from being thin and healthy.

You're in my though.
 

Foxtrot

Is back in the saddle!
S: 15st1lb C: 14st5.8lb G: 12st7.0lb BMI: 31.6 Loss: 0st9.2lb(4.36%)
#17
Huge hugs Rachel. I hope things are looking a little different this morning and you can focus on you with more clarity. Don't let him derail you into bad eating too!!
 

lucylastic

Silver Member
S: 17st6lb C: 11st8lb G: 11st10lb BMI: 24.6 Loss: 5st12lb(33.61%)
#18
I'm so sorry to hear that Rachel. I can offer no advice, but just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you and really hope things turn a corner for you soon xxx
 
#19
Gosh you poor thing - you must be heartbroken. I know its hard but be gentle with yourself and get as much support as you can. I know you must be worried about the LL stuff too but really try and keep the two emotions seperated. We are all with you in spirit. xx
 

EmVeg

Do a little dance!
S: 13st9lb C: 8st2lb G: 9st7lb Loss: 5st7lb(40.31%)
#20
Rach - solid advise from all above. I hope you're feeling a little better this morning, but I'm so sorry that with everything else you are being made to go through this as well.
Keep strong love x
 


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