Help and advice needed urgently!!!!

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by poppyowner, 14 July 2010 Social URL.

  1. poppyowner

    poppyowner Silver Member

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    Hi all

    I really need your help / advice.........

    My Daughter, Amber , has just sold some items and earnt herself £20. She has now told me she has booked a table for her and me to eat at COSMO Restaurant tomorrow evening as a thank you for all I do for her..... Cosmo is a restaurant where everything is buffet style eat as much as you can kind.... one of my fave restaurants!!

    My problem is this.......

    (1) I feel awkward as KNOW that the 2 meals will take up all of her £20 which I feel is wrong

    (2) Not long been back on diet plan and I KNOW I cannot be trusted in that restaurant and would want Amber to get her monies worth !!! It would ensure a gain come Monday and I still wouldn't know if my new stricter plan works or not.....

    Yesterday she told me she'd been thinking of this then told me she might want to spend the money on herself instead to which I agreed AND offered to accompany her to town as a bonding experience like the meal would've been - one 2 one....

    NOW she has texted me to say the restaurant is booked!!!!! Tomorrow night 6.30pm !!!!!!

    What should I do? I don't want to hurt her feelings , I don't want to ruin my chances of a loss, I don't want her to regret spending her money on me once spent...

    I have no spare cash to contribute AND IF I DID then I'd have to equal it for Aimee and Michael making it 3 times as much..... ALSO Dean is wondering why he hasn't been invited so got him feeling left out too....

    WHAT DO I DO?

    Do I GO, ENJOY the meal and thank her?

    Do I refuse to go, thank her anyway and insist the money is spent on herself?

    Do I blame the diet and ask her to delay til say nearer my Birthday so as to combine treat ?

    Please bear in mind I have already suggested the latter two but to no avail.....

    What if we do go, I gain, she's poor then she tells me she wishes she hadn't done it .... what would I say then? I CANNOT repay her without equalling elsewhere!!!

    Confused - help please a.s.a.p

    Jill
     
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  3. alwyn

    alwyn Silver Member

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    I wouldn't worry about your daughter getting her "money's worth". She obviously wants to spend some one-to-one time with you, so I would go, but just be a bit stricter on what you would eat.

    If you eat all you can, but the foods you choose are healthier, then Amber will still have gotten her "money's worth" out of the meal and she will have been able to spend some quality time with her mum.

    Your relationship with your daughter is worth more than the number on the scale. There is always next week to pick it back up.

    Hope this helps xx
     
  4. Karen

    Karen Serial Foodie!

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    could you not decide between you to cancel that booking and re-book at nandos or somewhere syn-friendly? you could eat at nandos or have a pub meal cheaper than £20 too. whatever you decide to do, enjoy your time with daughter and the food :) xxx
     
  5. Lonestitcher

    Lonestitcher Silver Member

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    Go and enjoy the meal. As a daughter, I sometimes just want to treat my mum. She is also probably really proud of having the money and being 'able' to treat you.

    SW will still be here when you get back.

    You could always use this week as a trial for your 'stricter plan' and fully focus on it next week. After a 'trial week' you will know what the pitfalls of your 'stricter plan' are, and could fully implement some coping strategies for the tougher times.

    I don't know your family situation (so don't know who Dean is, in relation to you), but if Dean is your son, 'It's a girl thing' usually suffices. If Dean is your husband/partner tell him to SUCK IT UP AND BE A MAN!!!!! You are having some quality time with your daughter!!! It's not like EVERYONE else is going and HE isn't!!!!! Also, he will know about the money situation and should be glad that you are having a well deserved treat.

    If your daughter regrets spending the money after, that is her lesson to learn. That money can't be spent twice. But even if she wishes she could spend it twice, and buy herself something, she probably wouldn't regret spending any on you.... after all, you are her MUM.

    So please, be grateful that you have a thoughtful daughter, don't worry about the plan, and enjoy yourself. Don't feel guilty about ANYTHING. Life is too short for regrets. Instead think of it a a very small part of the great big reward you get for being a fabulous mum.
     
  6. poppyowner

    poppyowner Silver Member

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    we don't have a Nandos here :(
     
  7. poppyowner

    poppyowner Silver Member

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    Lonestitcher - Dean is my hubby..... he's my kids Father (have to say that nowadays!) but he doesn't have such a close bond with them as I do......
    Last week was the first week of my stricter plan but then ofcourse I'd gained the week before through being off plan so not an official test... was intending this week to be the prover.....
     
  8. MadameLaMinx

    MadameLaMinx Gold Member

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    Go, thank her, enjoy your meal and dont worry about it. This is not a short term fix plan, its a long term change in eating style and habits and it allows for flexibility. Choose wisely where you can but just get straight back on plan the next day. Whatever difference it makes to your weight this week, you can sort next week. Its a special thing she wants to do and a one off. Relax.
     
  9. poppyowner

    poppyowner Silver Member

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    Thanks Madamelaminx - am starting to feel a bit guilty now for not wanting to go...... I love Cosmo, I know SW is long-term, I just also know what it is to have no money and to regret spending what little you have on something you later wish you hadn't :(
     
  10. MadameLaMinx

    MadameLaMinx Gold Member

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    Why would she regret it? She obviously loves you and wants you to know it and this is how she wants to show you! Dont overthink this too much, just have fun and spend some really nice one on one time together!
     
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  11. Gettingthinnerbytheday

    Gettingthinnerbytheday Gold Member

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    So its an all you can eat buffet type place - what kind of dishes??? Is there anyway we could try & help you choose the right ones??

    Sounds like your daughter really wants to go though, so if it were me, i'd go along & just try to pick out the best options :)
     
  12. Gettingthinnerbytheday

    Gettingthinnerbytheday Gold Member

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    Is this the place??

    Cosmo
     
  13. Rayven

    Rayven Addicted to Minimins!

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    She's obviously thought about what 'she' wants to do with the money she's made for herself and i'm sure if she really didn't want to take you out then she wouldn't have planned such a lovely meal for you. Make sure she's sure that its what she wants to do and go out and enjoy.
    As for the money thing, just because you spend on one doesn't mean you have to spend on the others straight away, if you DID want to treat her to something then that leaves a treat open for the others when you have the spare cash.
    Also ONE meal doesn't have to ruin your chances of a loss. You CAN'T put your life on hold 'just' because you're losing weight. If you stick to plan for the rest of the week and make sure you're drinking lots of water you're still in with a good chance at a loss. *hugs*
     
  14. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

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    I have to agree with the others. Your Daughter has been really thoughtful and wants to spend some one-to-one time with you, which in this day and age is a rareity!
    Go, its one meal out of a week. Enjoy the time with her, you never know what could happen tomorrow.
    xxx
     
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