Help - having a crisis moment!!!

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by Wannabeelovely, 20 January 2010 Social URL.

  1. Wannabeelovely

    Wannabeelovely Silver Member

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    I've just had the most horrendous day in the company of my awful, twisted, manipulative, cruel mother who deems it her life's purpose to make me feel miserable and worthless while I simply sit in silence and take it because she has a bad heart and can't be upset! Now, after hours of criticism and abuse, I'm back at home - fed up and angry - and desperately trying to resist the contents of my son's choccy cupboard. I'm sitting here salivating at the thought and I'm posting this simply to stop me getting up from the computer and going for it RIGHT NOW!!!!! Please, please, please could one of you lovely people reply to me and remind me why I shouldn't just say bugger it and fill my face??? (I do actually know why but I just need to hear it!). xxxx:cry:
     
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  3. Mumoftwo

    Mumoftwo Full Member

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    Sorry to hear about the troubles with your Mother. Luckily I only see mine a couple of times a year and that is usually more than enough!! My whole life she has put me down, but my weight loss journey is more important. My loss is for me and my own family, who need me and need me to be healthy.

    You are fighting back by coming on here and posting before the chocolate reaches your mouth. You know why you want to lose weight, it's for you, nothing your Mother says should stop you.

    STAY AWAY FROM THE CHOCOLATE

    Eating it will only increase any feelings of guilt you have already.

    Sending positive thoughts and hugs. xx
     
  4. soccermom

    soccermom I AM A WEMITT x

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    wow...you could have been writing that about me :( that about sums up my relationship with my mother.

    WBL...i'm sure you already are, but I could not have said it any better than MO2.

    sending cyber hugs ((((hugs)))
     
  5. Wannabeelovely

    Wannabeelovely Silver Member

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    Aww - bless you mumoftwo! You're so right - and thanks cos that reply HAS made a real difference! I have to endure my mother once a week and its very difficult because she just uses me as a verbal punchbag and criticises me and contradicts me non-stop. It makes me really sad that she's like this and I spent many years feeling that there was something wrong with me cos she behaves this way. Now I'm older, I realise that the problem lies within her but its still painful when she goes for the jugular like she did today. I AM doing this for myself and I really need to cos, at 46, my health is going to start suffering. I made a positive start but only lost half a lb this week and, although its my star week, I've lost a bit of that 'start of diet' exhuberance and know that now its just about the hard slog. I'm determined to do it and, you're right, nothing should stop me - and I AM fighting back!!! Thanks again and thanks for listening to me witter on - I bore MYSELF silly with the subject of my mother so I appreciate it loads! xxxxxxx
     
  6. Suemc

    Suemc Member

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    I am sorry to hear about your bad day, I am new to this site just joined today and yours was the first message I read. I can fully understand about how your Mum can stress you out. I often feel the way you describe after a visit with mine, but hold on before you eat your way through all the contents of your child's treat cupboard ...think who will feel the most guilt after it ? Not your mum or anybody else just you...so hold off binging....put your coat and shoes on and go for a brisk walk. That will benefit you more, if you still feel like a binge when you return then at least you did not do it before thinking.

    Positive thoughts x
     
  7. CyberRuby

    CyberRuby Trucker Extraordinaire

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    Hey there Wannabee;

    Sorry to hear you've had a crappy day. It sounds like you've got a handle on the reality of the situation - it's not you, it's her - and you just need a little help to keep you from letting her misery and anger derail you from *your* life.
    That's why we're all here, I think - to look out for each other and get a little support when we need it.
    Hang in there - there's strength in numbers and think how you'll feel tomorrow when you realise the feat you've achieved tonight.

    Hugs
    Rx
     
  8. Wannabeelovely

    Wannabeelovely Silver Member

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    Thanks Soccermom! There are more of us about than I thought! When you have a difficult relationship with your mother, you assume that its just you and that everyone else is fine but it amazes me how many people DO have problems once you get talking. I could never treat my kids this way - its just unthinkable that the person who gave birth to you can be so hurtful. It leaves me a bit speechless at times. Ah well, its head down, avert crisis time I suppose. I WON'T raid the choccy cupboard now - I'll have some pineapple instead. I'm NOT going to let her win this time!!! Thanks so much!!! xxxx
     
  9. henna!

    henna! I can do this............

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    Aww hugs to you!

    I think deep down you know to stay away from the chocolate because it wont help you! Yeah it will make you feel better for a few minutes but then you will be filled with guilt and regret. Take a deep breath make a cup of tea!

    Good on you for posting just goes to show you can resist it and you can do it! Hugs to you and chin up!!
     
  10. malaika

    malaika Lover of Extra Easy

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    I am so sorry you are having problems with your mother.
    I wish I had one. Mine was an angel and I lost her 25 years ago but I have a MIL that I could write a book about, and makes your mum look like an angel! She has knocked my confidence severely several times in the 32 years I have been married.
    She refused to come to our wedding, as I was not good enough for her son!
    Over the years I have cried buckets. I now give back what she dishes out and it has made a big difference. Fortunately I don't see her that much as she lives in South Africa but she is coming to stay for a couple of weeks... and one word about me, my body or anything and I shall pop.
    I may have a drink or three but NO choc ;)
    So, please, please don't let anyone get you down to resort to comfort junk food of any kind. They are not worth it.
    Cyber hugs to you xxx
     
  11. Wannabeelovely

    Wannabeelovely Silver Member

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    Thanks Suemc! Sorry that my miserable rantings were the first thing you saw!!!! I'm usually quite a positive person - honest!! A walk is a good idea too - I'm soooo unfit at the moment that I'd probably just go to bed when I got in - which WOULD be good for the diet!! Bingeing does bring on terrible guilt doesnt it? I've failed on many occasions cos I've given myself a hard time over a single mouthful of cake. Hope you make a positive start to your journey and that you get many happy hours out of being on this forum - its fab and everyone is extremely supportive. Its worth its cyberweight in gold!!! xxx
     
  12. Wannabeelovely

    Wannabeelovely Silver Member

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    Again, thanks everyone who I've not already thanked - CyberRuby, Henna, Malaika! You're all lovely and its greatly appreciated - more than you could know!
    Malaika - give your MIL hell if she tries anything on and, for goodness sake, don't let anyone try to persuade her to return to the UK!!!!!! If we lived closer, we could put her up with my mum for the duration of her visit and then they could just be vile to each other instead of to us!!!!!!!
    WHAT A LIFE EH GIRLS????????? You're all fab!!!! xxxx
     
  13. malaika

    malaika Lover of Extra Easy

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    I can always post her to your mum! ;)
    At 4' 11" she is small enough... wee mini Hitler :D:D:D I could write a book, but she will no longer get me down!
    Just keep strong!
     
  14. Wannabeelovely

    Wannabeelovely Silver Member

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    Good on you Malaika! I'll remember that last sentence the next time my mother is acting up! She WILL no longer get me down!!!!!! xxx
     
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