He's decided he doesn't love me anymore

[Tinytootz]

Hey, sorry to hear about your situation

I too came out of a long relationship. At the time it felt like the world ended (he also said he no longer loved me), but it was the best thing he ever did to me, lying cheating git

I also couldn't afford to rent on my own, and had an IVA hanging over my head and a credit history which was (and is) dire! I found a house I liked, did the credit check, failed, but the estate agents took me on as I seemed like a nice genuine person who would look after the house. I also got help with rent and council tax. I had the option to have it paid to me or to the estate agents, and I opted for it to go to me as I didn't want to push my luck as I knew they didn't like taking on folks on benefits

You could also rent privately. Not only is the rent sometimes a little cheaper, but you are dealing with the actual owner, rather than the estate agents, so can explain your situation better.

Good luck to you, I think you are doing a sterling job of remaining calm. I also opted for the calm option, and I think I benefited from it. Saying that, when I found out he was cheating, mum and I did go into the flat (I had not long left) and removed every single thing that 'belonged' to me, including bath plugs, curtains and washing up bowl We stopped at removing the fuses from all electricals, but only just!

Citizens advice really are great, they helped me out loads during that time x

 

[charlies_mummy]

I have the best landlord ever, he has agreed to let me stay, and has said he will help in any way he can Is coming over on the 19th to talk things over with me! Such a weight off my mind, not just need to sort out the car and get rid of him and can move on!

His mum is really ****** off that she legally has to stay my guarntor as she signed the paperwork when both of our names were on it, seems to have forgotten that this is keeping a roof over her grandson's head, and that this is only happening because of her son's actions.

To be honest I am almost certain he has someone else lined up, I just got in from work and he hurridly put the phone down, and keeps getting texts. Just wish he would be honest, surely I am worth more than that.

Thank you all so much for your kind words and advise, it means so much x

 

[fillymum]

I have the best landlord ever, he has agreed to let me stay, and has said he will help in any way he can Is coming over on the 19th to talk things over with me! Such a weight off my mind, not just need to sort out the car and get rid of him and can move on!

His mum is really ****** off that she legally has to stay my guarntor as she signed the paperwork when both of our names were on it, seems to have forgotten that this is keeping a roof over her grandson's head, and that this is only happening because of her son's actions.

To be honest I am almost certain he has someone else lined up, I just got in from work and he hurridly put the phone down, and keeps getting texts. Just wish he would be honest, surely I am worth more than that.

Thank you all so much for your kind words and advise, it means so much x

I am delighted for you that your landlord is going to help you stay in your home. I actually went PHEW!!! when I read that.

Do not let his mother get you down. You are going to have enough to contend with without her adding to it. She should be bending over backwards to make sure that her grandson is affected as little as possible by her sons cavalier behaviour.

Just tell him that you feel he should be honest with you and that whatever his reasons are for * not loving * you anymore you just want him out. If he is going to have Charlie a couple of nights a week you need to know if there is going to be anyone else involved in his life. It is important you think they are a fit and able person to have any input into his life.
hugs xxxxx

 

[Shirleen]

I'd be tempted to borrow a bloke! But as I said I have no dignity!

 

[charlies_mummy]

He has looked at a place tonight and providing he can get an advance on his wages on Monday then he can secure it and move out on the 1st! Am so pleased, I want rid, he is doing my head in now! x

 

[Mrs.S.]

He has looked at a place tonight and providing he can get an advance on his wages on Monday then he can secure it and move out on the 1st! Am so pleased, I want rid, he is doing my head in now! x

You ok though chuck? x

 

[charlies_mummy]

Will be better once he has gone thanks, he is just a constant reminder of what I was meant to have.

Have eaten so much this last few days but I really don't care to be honest, once he has gone I know I can lose any extra weight Will lose 13 1/2 stone straight off!

x

 

[Mrs.S.]

Will be better once he has gone thanks, he is just a constant reminder of what I was meant to have.

Have eaten so much this last few days but I really don't care to be honest, once he has gone I know I can lose any extra weight Will lose 13 1/2 stone straight off!

x

Lol you will hopefully be able to make a clean break.

Just look after you two and make sure you don't crash and burn. Depression and things can creep up before you know it.

Big hugs xx

 

[zanny]

hey hun, just stopped by to see how you're doing. Glad to see the news about your landlord and it's great to see that you've made a good headstart on getting sorted for you and your little one! One step at a time

 

[big bear]

Babe I can so relate to you.....I'm splitting from my H and he's dragging it out...we've a mortgage though. He is suppose to be moving out to his Mums but he's not budging keeps making excuses....I've no family here either!

His Mum being a ***** as per usual....I just want him out now I can manage on my own....

Fingers crossed he goes...we've 2 kids & I just want wots best for them....

Not told my family as yet....it'll all work out I'm sure XXX

Loads of hugs XXXXX

 

[fillymum]

Big hugs to both of you...........with strength and determination both of you will make it

lots of love xxxx

 

[charlies_mummy]

Babe I can so relate to you.....I'm splitting from my H and he's dragging it out...we've a mortgage though. He is suppose to be moving out to his Mums but he's not budging keeps making excuses....I've no family here either!

His Mum being a ***** as per usual....I just want him out now I can manage on my own....

Fingers crossed he goes...we've 2 kids & I just want wots best for them....

Not told my family as yet....it'll all work out I'm sure XXX

Loads of hugs XXXXX

Thinking of you - life can be so unfair sometimes. We deserve so much better than them though, and one day they will look back, realise what they missed out on and regret it big time

xxx

 

[tallsarah]

your going through so much at the moment, but in time you will look back and be so glad he is out of your life, your immediate future may seem scary but long term it will be very rosy indeed x

 

[fillymum]

Thinking of you - life can be so unfair sometimes. We deserve so much better than them though, and one day they will look back, realise what they missed out on and regret it big time

xxx

Absolutely.

The greater loss is theirs.

hugs to you both

 

[charlies_mummy]

This is proving to be the longest month of my life. I am a complete mess inside and the sunny facade is starting to crack. He is a being a complete t***t, screaming at me and slamming things about, not helping around the house and not really helping buy food etc. Have got far too much on my mind and it is starting to really get me down. Have so many financial worries (he is not getting me a car anymore and I live in Norfolk - hardly commuter friendly), have health concerns with an appointment for biopsies fast approaching on Monday, and in all honestly I really cannot get over losing my bubba. I have the most perfect son and love him more than I could possibly describe, but am now really starting to feel like I am letting him down. Hopefully writing some of this down will help get a bit off my mind - sorry xx

 

[xMandyDx]

Sorry you're going through this, hun. It doesn't help that he's still there. You think maybe he's being such a d**k, cos he wants you to throw him out, so he can say he wasn't the bad guy?

Either way, he needs to be gone asap, especially if he's getting violent and upsetting the bubs. And um, if he's not buying food, he doesn't get to eat, okay?! That's YOUR food. YOU bought it for YOU and your SON. Would you invite any other ex over for dinner? lol Didn't think so!
No more free meals, literally.

I know you're trying hard to be civil, but in all fairness, he's not. And the buck has to stop somewhere. Draw a line under things, tell him he has to leave, by the weekend, and I guarantee things will get better. Even the air will taste sweeter.
He's sucking the life and the happiness right out of you. It's up to you to stop that.

xxx be strong xxx

 

[ShinyShimmy]

sending virtual love n hugs your way - stay strong xxxx

 

[laura4988]

Oh Hun. Big cuddles. I'm useless at advice but I know if I was you I'd be such a bigger mess than you seem to be. Just keep holding that head high and don't let him know that he's getting you down. Show him your the better person.
And then 6 months down the line when you've lost x amount of weight n he realises what a **** he was for letting you go it'll be your turn to have that last laugh x

 

[louisedan]

Hold on in there-you can and will get through this.He is the one who will miss out-not just with you but with the little one. You will be the one he turns to and that idiot will miss out big time in the future.We are here if you need us.

 

[2manycupcakes]

Stay strong, your little boy needs you, sending hugs to you both xxx