He's decided he doesn't love me anymore

[charlies_mummy]

Sorry you're going through this, hun. It doesn't help that he's still there. You think maybe he's being such a d**k, cos he wants you to throw him out, so he can say he wasn't the bad guy?

Either way, he needs to be gone asap, especially if he's getting violent and upsetting the bubs. And um, if he's not buying food, he doesn't get to eat, okay?! That's YOUR food. YOU bought it for YOU and your SON. Would you invite any other ex over for dinner? lol Didn't think so!
No more free meals, literally.

I know you're trying hard to be civil, but in all fairness, he's not. And the buck has to stop somewhere. Draw a line under things, tell him he has to leave, by the weekend, and I guarantee things will get better. Even the air will taste sweeter.
He's sucking the life and the happiness right out of you. It's up to you to stop that.

xxx be strong xxx

He gets his keys on the 1st October, and as much as I want him gone right now I need him here to look after our boy whilst I work nights. As much as I would love to kick his sorry backside out I can't and he knows it!

I am refusing to cook for him anymore, have had enough. Though we are running the freezer down as I can't afford to run it anymore so may make him a lovely stew from all the rubbishy leftovers mmmm cod, sprouts, hashbrowns, broad beans and a scone

Have actually been squirreling pennies away so that when he goes I have a little bit of money for food etc as the way it's looking once bills are payed I have very very little. Have actually applied to a charity for help with the car situation, they help nurses in financial trouble due to illness or family breakdowns, so fingers crossed they will be able to help a little with money towards a used car!

Thanks everyone for your kind words xx

8 more sleeps to go, and 4 of them I am not at home!!! xx

 

[louisedan]

thinking of you x

 

[fillymum]

I haven't been around for the last few days. Sorry.

You are in such a horrid place at present but with luck will come through it. You are strong, intelligent and dignified. Hopefully that will get you through.

I genuinely wish I was close to you and could be of some real help,


hugs xxxxxxxxx

 

[Shirleen]

He gets his keys on the 1st October, and as much as I want him gone right now I need him here to look after our boy whilst I work nights. As much as I would love to kick his sorry backside out I can't and he knows it!

I am refusing to cook for him anymore, have had enough. Though we are running the freezer down as I can't afford to run it anymore so may make him a lovely stew from all the rubbishy leftovers mmmm cod, sprouts, hashbrowns, broad beans and a scone

Have actually been squirreling pennies away so that when he goes I have a little bit of money for food etc as the way it's looking once bills are payed I have very very little. Have actually applied to a charity for help with the car situation, they help nurses in financial trouble due to illness or family breakdowns, so fingers crossed they will be able to help a little with money towards a used car!

Thanks everyone for your kind words xx

8 more sleeps to go, and 4 of them I am not at home!!! xx

What a shame you can't take a few days off and kick him out, oh and remind him the CSA will be calling! I have a few words for him that I'm too much of a lady to type!

 

[stmcalee01]

My goodness! I have just read through this thread and am outraged at his behaviour!

I admire your strength and determination. You will get through this. A good friend of mine says we are never given more than we can cope with. I know that seems like rubbish now but I promise you will see.

I want to share this poem with you. It WILL make you cry but I found comfort in it when I lost my baby.

What Makes A Mother

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today,
I asked, "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard him say:
A Mother has a baby,
This we know is true
But, God, can you be a mother
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can, he replied
With confidence in his voice,
I give many women babies,
When they leave it is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for the day,
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here.
He took a breath,
and cleared his throat,
And then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you,
What your child is doing Here...
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say,
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear,
but My mommy loved me so much
I got to come straight here!"
I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me,
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow is where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear,
"Mommy, Please don't be sad today,
I'm your baby and I am here"
So you see my dear sweet one,
Your children are okay.
Your babies are here in My home,
And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with Me,
Until your lessons there are through,
And on the day that you come home,
they'll be at the gates waiting for you
So now you see
What makes a Mother,
It's the feeling in your heart,
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.
Author Unknown

 

[louisedan]

:cry:x

 

[Shirleen]

:cry::cry::cry:

 

[stmcalee01]

Sorry, sorry, sorry. I meant it to offer comfort. I think when you have lost a baby it leaves a wound that never heals and although I am not religous this struck a chord with me. I really hoped it would help others x

 

[maypole]

just wanted to say I am thinkin of you xx

 

[charlies_mummy]

Sorry, sorry, sorry. I meant it to offer comfort. I think when you have lost a baby it leaves a wound that never heals and although I am not religous this struck a chord with me. I really hoped it would help others x

Please don't be sorry, it is a beautiful poem. Am not really religious, but love the thought that just because I didn't get to cuddle my baby, doesn't mean I never will. I have a beautiful picture of roses that I put in a box frame with a little dummy inside that I have near my bed so I can say good night to every night. Might seem strange but it does help me xxx

 

[Shirleen]

Sorry, sorry, sorry. I meant it to offer comfort. I think when you have lost a baby it leaves a wound that never heals and although I am not religous this struck a chord with me. I really hoped it would help others x

It was a beautiful poem, I should have said that.
Tears are comforting, it's the arsehole men who think you should be over it by now, that are the problem!

 

[xMandyDx]

A friend of mine got all the way to 23 weeks and then went into labour. She gave birth to a live baby girl, who died an hour later.
She coped by taking pictures of her little girl (which she showed to me while I was pregnant, freaking me out a little, but hey, if she was brave enough to show me, I was also brave enough to look at it for the gift it was) and keeping her little clothes.
She has them in a memento box that she occassionally takes out for a look through. She's never gotten over it. It's not something you ever do get over, no matter how far along the pregnancy is.
She went on to try again, and this time gave birth to a baby boy at 26 weeks, who has complications, but is thriving.

We all deal with things in our own way, and if you're not yet "over" it, who can blame you? You'll come to terms with that in your own time, and (going to be rude now) f**k anyone who tries to dictate when you should.

 

[Shirleen]

I still burst into tears after four years! It's been 9 years now it's not quite as painful but is a sadness I've learned to live with.x

 

[charlies_mummy]

Well the day has come... He is finally moving out! It feels so strange knowing he is not coming back tonight and I will be totally responsible for everything. Thankfully I have an amazing family who are all doing there bit to help me out, don't know where I would be without them at the moment.
Anyhow, had better get on with some more clearing away, packing etc!
Xx

 

[tallsarah]

Although it feels strange and painful at least you can now start adjusting to a new life without him and focus on you and your boy without the tension. wishing you well x

 

[Val123]

Hey hun - hope you're coping okay since he moved out. At least you now have some kind of closure and can do whatever you want and just please yourself and wee Charlie. It will get easier and easier each day and eventually you will realise that you are much happier without him. Just make sure that you make some time just for you each week and get out and about and treat yourself - you are a beautiful young lady and deserve to have fun and I'm sure it won't be long before you are in a place where you will be ready to meet someone else - I'm sure you won't be short of offers - and hopefully the next one turns out to be your knight in shining armour and treat you with the love and respect that you deserve. (Hugs)

Val x

 

[fillymum]

Big hugs :bighug:

Stay focused on just the two of you.

I am so glad you have your family about you.

 

[Missjlouise]

You are such a strong beautiful women... you have coped with this much better than I did. Not sure where your at in the situation but believe me after a while you start really enjoying having time for you, not having to think about a man in your life, arguments, tension, anxiety, and that horrible pit in your stomach when you KNOW something is wrong but you are too scared to change the situation yourself. I love been able to come home put on scruffs, watch what I want, cook what I want and when my boy is with me just having him all to myself.

These situations teach you to be content. Contentment leads to less expectation, and less expectation allows you to relax and just enjoy life and what life has for you.

xx

 

[charlies_mummy]

Thanks, it's nice that someone has confidence in me ever finding a nice man, at the moment couldn't see myself finding any man, let alone a nice one! Am so down on myself at the moment, and really can't see why anyone would want me even if I wasn't a single mum Am cross with myself for thinking like this but can't help it! Have never felt so lonely xx

 

[Beegee]

Oh poor you, I don't really know what to say but hang in there, things can only get better xx