Hi :)

[LowCarb]

I was posting in here a few days ago under a different name (lollycakes) but all the stored details on my laptop have been wiped and I can't for the life of me remember the password or the email address I originally signed up with. So, new name. And new diary, to avoid confusion.

Like my previous diary mentioned, I've a lot of weight to lose - I'm estimating it to be around 200lb, though I won't know for sure until tomorrow when my scales are delivered - and I am, for the first time in my life, 100% committed and determined to lose it as quickly as possible.

I've done a variety of different diets in the past, and the only one I found remotely enjoyable was low carb. So, I've put myself on a strict 1300-1450 calorie diet with approx. 25g carbs a day. I've also looked into intermittent fasting, and it seems like it will suit me as I've always been an evening eater and eating breakfast & lunch is a chore at best. So, I'm going to eat between 5pm-10pm and fast for the rest of the day, with a full day fast on Sundays. It's supposed to be a great way to lose weight.

I picked up some super cheap Atkins Endulge bars on Amazon this afternoon, which were £14.40 for 15 of the 35g peanut/caramel bars - the coconut ones & chocolate crisp ones are slightly cheaper if anyone's interested. I'm going to try my best to avoid eating them because I've heard they can stall weight loss, but I figured it is better to have them on hand just in case, rather than reach for something totally bad for me when the craving hits.

I'll use this first post to update on my weekly weight loss. My Weight Watchers scales should be delivered tomorrow (thanks for the free one day delivery, Amazon!) so I'll finally find out my starting weight. I'm sure it will be extremely depressing, but I suppose the only way is up, right? Or down, in this case.

I'm going to stop waffling and do my cardio for the day before I make something to eat. I'll be making the same thing every day - an egg white omelette with bacon, mushrooms & cottage cheese for my first meal, and grilled turkey steaks with steamed veggies for my second. I've got almonds & string cheese for evening snacks, too.

Anyway, have a good day, ladies. Stay strong, and as Kate Moss once said, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

17/9/2013 - 400lb
The scales I bought had a maximum weight of 400lb/28st 8lb but when I first stepped on them, it gave me an error message - meaning I was too heavy to weigh! So I can only put my starting weight at 400lb. I'm incredibly embarrassed to be over 50lb heavier than what I estimated myself to be. But, hey ho. At least I know what my starting point is now.

19/9/2013 - 394lb
After only 2 days, I'm down by at least 6lb and the scales I bought can finally take my weight. I realise this could easily be a natural weight fluctuation, but I've been very strict with my diet and I've been working out daily, though not as much as I'd aimed for - I totally over estimated my fitness levels, lol. But I've been doing something every evening, even if it's just one set for each of the 6 strength training exercises I can do. So, if I stick to this, I'm sure the weight will continue to drop off.

20/9/2013 - 392.5lb
I weighed myself again this morning - in the exact same way as I did yesterday - and the scale has gone down by another 1 1/2lb. I'm really pleased, although it could be water weight or a natural weight fluctuation, it's still going in the right direction which is the most important thing for me. It's probably not a great idea to log my weight each day, but I'm finding it hard to resist stepping on and checking if there has been a change. I think I'm going to keep weighing myself each day until Monday the 23rd, which is the day of my doctor's appointment, and then I'm going to stick to weighing myself once a week on the same day.

21/9/2013 - 391.5lb
Another loss. It's only a pound, but in the space of a day I think that's pretty good. Like I mentioned previously, I'm going to start weighing myself just once a week starting Monday, but it's kind of exciting to step on the scales each morning and see a change. Now that I'm certain that what I'm doing is working, I'm starting to think about setting myself some short term goals, but I'm not quite sure what they should be.

22/9/13 - 391.5lb
I'm disappointed that the scales didn't go down this morning, but they didn't go up, so I suppose that's something. I'm going to put it down to going off diet and eating a chicken shish kebab with diet Coke for dinner and two Atkins bars for snacks. I stayed within my calorie allowance as far as I'm aware (it's tricky working out the calories for takeout food!) but the Atkins bars are known for stalling weight loss. Fingers crossed tomorrow is better.

23/9/13 - I don't even know
**** these scales or my hormones or whatever has made the scale jump from 391.5lb yesterday morning to "error" this morning. I have NOT put on 8.5lb overnight. Even if I'd eaten a huge amount - which I haven't. It was under 900 calories for the day - it's impossible! I'm guessing it's down to a natural weight fluctuation coupled with being dehydrated, which oddly enough can make the scales go up. But it's incredibly frustrating. GO DOWN, SCALES! GO DOWN! I'm hoping the 3 litres of water I've been drinking throughout the day will help things get back to the way they were. I'll see what the scales says in the morning, but I'll give my body a few days to work out what the hell it's doing.

 

[GretaGrip]

Hello


Good luck with your journey.

I wanted to say that if you have approximately 200lbs to lose, you'd be far better setting your initial calorie allowance at about 1800/2000 a day. Dont set yourself up to fail. As you drop weight you give yourself nowhere to go if you start at 1400 or so. Starting at 1800 and being mindful of carbs should produce initial good results and you can reduce calories as you go along.

I've maintained at 9 stone 4 ish for a year now with calorie counting and moderate carbing, after losing over 5 stone. I think you've chosen the easiest( best?) method but just needs a bit of fine tuning. A poster called Tracy has lost lots of weight so hopefully she will spot this and advise you also.

Keep the faith : )

 

[chezz]

hi lowcarb
good luck on your journey hun x x x

 

[LowCarb]

Thank you! I meant to update this sooner, but I've had some stressful stuff to deal with, so I've been concentrating on trying to stick to my diet without reaching for a bar (or several) of chocolate and a bottle (or several) of wine - and so far I've managed to avoid slipping up. I've also updated my first post with my starting weight and current losses.

My diet isn't very exciting, but at the moment I'm really just looking to learn portion control and it's easier for me to stick to if I know what I'm going to eat each day. I'm going to change it up every couple of weeks to avoid getting too bored, though.

Current diet:
Brunch
6 tbsp egg whites
125g bacon - grilled if it's fatty, dry fried if it isn't
125g mushrooms - fried in 1 tsp olive oil
100g low fat cottage cheese
Ketchup & splash of Tabasco
Dinner
250g turkey steaks - they're lean but I grill them anyway
135g x2 steamed veg - I bought the bags of mixed peas/cauliflower/baby carrots
1/2 tbsp balsamic glaze or 1 tsp Schwartz Chinese 5 spice mix over the turkey
Snacks
30g almonds
Cheesestring
Atkins peanut-caramel bar & 50ml of milk - I'll only have these a couple of times a week with a cup of coffee (hence the milk) but it'll be in place of the almonds to avoid going over my calorie allowance.

So far it's easy to stick to. Bacon and eggs every day? Yum! And while grilled turkey and veggies might not be the most exciting meal in the world, it's quick and tasty and filling, which is the main thing. And if I do feel a little peckish, I drink some water and that helps a lot. I've been drinking between 4-6 500ml bottles of water a day, and I'm going to try to gradually increase that to 8-10 500ml bottles a day over the next few weeks.

 

[Nessa29]

Here to follow your journey xxx

 

[LowCarb]

Welcome aboard.

Today is horrendous. In fact, I'd really like to fast forward the next few days. Because this weekend, my best friend and the love of my life is going out on a date with another woman. And I'm heartbroken. Being fat has ruined my chances at being with the man I love more than anything else in this world, and I couldn't be any unhappier or any more angry with myself.

 

[Nessa29]

Welcome aboard.

Today is horrendous. In fact, I'd really like to fast forward the next few days. Because this weekend, my best friend and the love of my life is going out on a date with another woman. And I'm heartbroken. Being fat has ruined my chances at being with the man I love more than anything else in this world, and I couldn't be any unhappier or any more angry with myself.

Sorry to hear that Hun, you need to use that to focus you and drive you forward on your weightloss. Love is about loving someone inside and out.
You can do this!! Xxx

 

[LowCarb]

Right now, all I want to do is curl up in bed with a family size bar of Dairy Milk and cry until I fall asleep. Other people seem to handle heartbreak so much better than I do. It makes me feel pathetic. I don't want to move on or get over him or find someone else. I want to sort my weight out and be with him. That's really the only reason I'm doing this and it's the only thing keeping me from going off-diet in a big way.

 

[madferitchick]

I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time. Heartbreak is the worst, and you are doing an amazing job sticking to your eating plan...emotional eating is always my downfall. But, you know what, I obviously don't know anything about your situation but if he can't see your beauty, both inside and out, then he doesn't deserve you. I know that doesn't make it any easier though. So, go ahead and use him as your motivation to help you lose weight, but I'm pretty confident that when you get to goal, you will probably decide he had his chance n blew it and realise he's not good enough for you!! (((Hugs)))

 

[LowCarb]

I'd like to think that's true, but it doesn't feel that way at the moment. I think I need to focus on "whatever will be, will be" which isn't particularly comforting, but at least it's true. I'm also Googling for the best price on a trip to NYC. That's my goal - to get down to at least 200lb, if not less, and go to NYC in either late 2014 or early 2015. Because that's where he's living at the moment - which makes this whole situation even harder and a lot more complicated.

 

[chezz]

lowcarb sending love and hugs ((())) x

 

[LowCarb]

Thank you I'm feeling a little bit better at the moment, but I'm not sure how long it's going to last. The most difficult thing is that he wants us to remain friends, which is great, but it makes it that much harder to accept that we're not going to be together. It's like carrying around a huge slice of chocolate cake but not being allowed to eat it.

On the plus side, the scales went down by another pound this morning. I'm going to update the first post with the loss, and then order a chicken shish - minus the pitta bread - with an extra side salad and a bottle of diet Coke for dinner. I don't feel like cooking, so if I don't order in some food, I'll end up not eating anything at all.

 

[Nessa29]

Heartache is one of the worst things ever its like a kind of mourning. But it will get easier in time I promise you (I know it doesn't feel like it now)

I do really think you need to concentrate on losing weight for yourself though not because you think it's what he wants. If someone loves you then they love the whole of you inside and out and if a man needs you to lose weight before he can be with you then he really isn't worth it sweetheart.

I hope you don't think I'm being harsh just trying to give you some friendly advice you sound like such a lovely person and you deserve to be treated so much better xxxx

 

[LowCarb]

No, I don't think you're being harsh in the slightest. I totally understand what you're saying, and I completely agree. I do want to lose weight for myself, because at the moment I'm no where near the best I'm capable of being. My weight affects every area of my life - my confidence, my health, and now my relationships. It's very frustrating and disheartening. But when I say I want to do it for him, it's more that I feel like he deserves to see me at my best, and right now I'm no where near that, and not just because of my weight. The woman he's going out with tonight is gorgeous, though. Her figure is to die for. Is it ok for me to hate her on that alone? Lol.

 

[Nessa29]

No, I don't think you're being harsh in the slightest. I totally understand what you're saying, and I completely agree. I do want to lose weight for myself, because at the moment I'm no where near the best I'm capable of being. My weight affects every area of my life - my confidence, my health, and now my relationships. It's very frustrating and disheartening. But when I say I want to do it for him, it's more that I feel like he deserves to see me at my best, and right now I'm no where near that, and not just because of my weight. The woman he's going out with tonight is gorgeous, though. Her figure is to die for. Is it ok for me to hate her on that alone? Lol.

I do think its rather mean and cruel that he is rubbing his date in your face and you are most certainly allowed to hate her!! LOL she might have a lovely figure but I bet she has zero personality!!!! Probably thick as **** LOL

 

[LowCarb]

She's incredibly trashy & skanky, but she's also very pretty with a body to die for and that seems to be the most important thing for a lot of people.

Talking of which... I was texting him a few minutes ago, and he said he thinks she's going to stand him up, so I told him he could do better anyway. His answer? "If I could do better, I'd have evidence to demonstrate that" - so, that's awesome. In his mind, the fact I'd move heaven & earth for him, the fact I love things about him that very few people would understand let alone accept, the fact I've always supported him and have always been on his side, none of that is as important as a good figure and pretty face.

I've just eaten two Atkins bars and a stick of string cheese. I'm tempted to eat more but I'm trying to control the urge to binge eat. I think I'm going to watch the rest of Through The Keyhole and crawl into bed until Monday morning.

 

[Nessa29]

She's incredibly trashy & skanky, but she's also very pretty with a body to die for and that seems to be the most important thing for a lot of people.

Talking of which... I was texting him a few minutes ago, and he said he thinks she's going to stand him up, so I told him he could do better anyway. His answer? "If I could do better, I'd have evidence to demonstrate that" - so, that's awesome. In his mind, the fact I'd move heaven & earth for him, the fact I love things about him that very few people would understand let alone accept, the fact I've always supported him and have always been on his side, none of that is as important as a good figure and pretty face.

I've just eaten two Atkins bars and a stick of string cheese. I'm tempted to eat more but I'm trying to control the urge to binge eat. I think I'm going to watch the rest of Through The Keyhole and crawl into bed until Monday morning.

He sounds a bit shallow to me Hun.
Big hugs to you.
I'm watching through the keyhole too!! Xx

 

[LowCarb]

I'm no longer in contact with him anymore. Things blew up last night, and he said it was best we severed all contact. I tried to make him change his mind, but he blocked my number, my email and my Facebook page. I'm absolutely devastated. I didn't get out of bed until 5pm today. On the plus side, I have zero appetite so maybe that will help the weight loss.

 

[Nessa29]

I'm no longer in contact with him anymore. Things blew up last night, and he said it was best we severed all contact. I tried to make him change his mind, but he blocked my number, my email and my Facebook page. I'm absolutely devastated. I didn't get out of bed until 5pm today. On the plus side, I have zero appetite so maybe that will help the weight loss.

I'm sorry to hear that Hun I know it doesn't feel like it now but you are so better off without him. Keep your chin up. Plenty more fish in the sea one that will treat you with respect xxxx

 

[LowCarb]

I hope so. I'm just really sad that it ended like this, you know? It could have been so different. It should have ended on a good note, and now it's all just crappy. I'm trying to stay as positive as I can but I'm not doing a great job of it. As sad as it sounds, I don't want to give up trying to lose weight because if we ever cross each other again in the future, I don't want him to be even more disappointed in me. That's what I'm clinging onto right now - that I can still do this, no matter what.