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HIV

#1
Has anyone had any experience of dealing with the waiting period of three months for a test to see if someone is hiv positive? I have a friend who has been told she has been exposed and they took the tests but just told her she would not be alone and they'd get her back in 2 weeks but she is in pieces each time I ring her she bursts out in tears and just sobs. I have no idea how to help, I don't want to make matters worse if there is anything worse!!!, Please if anyone has any advice i'd really appreciate anything that can make her accept this and at least get throught the 3 months. I know I can't make it better but I fell so totally useless all I do is ring her and hug her but it feels so little at this time when I feel she needs so much.
 
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S: 18st2lb C: 18st2lb G: 11st0lb Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#2
Didn't want to read and not post but I have no advice I'm afraid. Thankfully have not been in this position before. I guess just be there for her and hold her when she cries and hug her!!

Sorry I couldn't be more help
 

kazz

Gold Member
#3
OMG--your poor friend...
I have absolutely no experience of this, but like other things people close to us go through, the best I think we can do for them is to listen to them, let them cry on our shoulders and just be there for them. she may be feeling a bit isolated at the moment as well, so is there anything you could do to distract her? Like invite her over for dinner or a girlie night in with DVDs etc?

Sorry I cant help any more...
 

gaijingirl

has lying hips
#4
I, and my partner, had HIV tests when we decided that I would go on the pill and stop using condoms. We had them at our local GUM clinic. They offered lots of counselling services for people in this situation - do you know if maybe where she had the test offers something similar... they usually do. It could be a tough thing to take on yourself tbh...
 

Isis

Ancient Egypt Nut!
C: 18st3lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 39.9
#5
I, and my partner, had HIV tests when we decided that I would go on the pill and stop using condoms. We had them at our local GUM clinic. They offered lots of counselling services for people in this situation - do you know if maybe where she had the test offers something similar... they usually do. It could be a tough thing to take on yourself tbh...

I agree with gaijingirl, has your friend been offered any counselling/support/information or just the test and no aftercare?

It can depend whether she is the type of person who wants to be aware and informed of all the facts/statistics etc, or not. Some people find it gives them a focus while they are waiting.

It really is an awfully long time to wait, I know. Some of my clients can receive results in about 10 days but I know that is because of the system we have in our agency and that we are supporting injecting drug users.

You are obviously being a really great friend and doing the best you can. I don't think you can do anymore really than be there.

Lacey x
 

Mini

Administrator
Staff member
S: 18st2lb C: 16st3.5lb G: 11st2lb Loss: 1st12.5lb(10.43%)
#8
Hi Sam,

This is a very difficult time for you and your friend and I think just being there for her is what counts if she lets you.

As some friends and family can push you away when going through a crisis.

I have no experience of this but do feel counselling would help and prepare her if it were to be bad news.

Sending hugs and prayers for the both.

Love Mini xxx
 
#9
gaijingirl she went to the std clinic and they told her she wouldn't be alone and told her to come back in two weeks!!!! alone is what I think she is... I wish she had gone somewhere you and your husband went... Thanks for giving me an idea maybe I should ring around and try and find her some counciling myself.Thank you again
 
#10
isis I wish I was!! I feel so useless!!! I can't get it through my head she might have been given this because she trusted her husband!!!! I will try and get her some councilling on my own and hope she can get help when she needs it now and not in 2 weeks. Thank you for repling and helping.
 
#11
Thank you mini I hope you don't mind me posting something so far away from dieting but I really need help with this one and I thought of your forum first.I guess its because you guys just help and don't point the finger.Thanks mini
 

Isis

Ancient Egypt Nut!
C: 18st3lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 39.9
#12
isis I wish I was!! I feel so useless!!! I can't get it through my head she might have been given this because she trusted her husband!!!! I will try and get her some councilling on my own and hope she can get help when she needs it now and not in 2 weeks. Thank you for repling and helping.
You're more than welcome honey and your friend is a very fortunate woman to have a friend like you!!!
 

Kate

CDC/PT/PITA
#13
it feels so little at this time when I feel she needs so much.
But I bet it makes a world of difference to her, you being there for her, and her knowing that she has you in her corner.

I don't have any great advice, except to keep doing what you're doing, because I bet it's helping much, much more than you know.
 
S: 22st3lb C: 21st8lb G: 14st7lb BMI: 44.6 Loss: 0st9lb(2.89%)
#14
Dear Biggirlsam

I think you are doing a fab job of helping your friend - I bet each hug means more than a thousand words, you are so there for her.

Maybe she got so polaxed by the news she didn't quite take in how to get the counselling - if she has told you where she got the test done you might be able to contact that centre and ask some questions.

Personally, I would be so proud to have a friend like you
 

DQ

Queen of the Damned
#15
What an awful situation to be in - for you and your friend. I think just being there for her, girlie dvd nights, listening to her when she needs to talk, and above all, never underestimate the power of a quiet hug (which you are obviously doing - you probably don't realise how much that means to her).
 
#16
There's nothing you can do, apart from what you are doing already. Your friend is very very lucky to have someone like you!
 

KD

Gone fishing
#17
Aw, your poor friend. She must be so scared:(

The results only take 10 days. You can even get quick 30 minutes ones.

I think the problem is that you have to wait 3 months after exposure before they will test you...so perhaps she hasn't actually been tested yet?? Waiting to have the test?

Glad you are there for her. Bet she appreciates that.
 

LISEE

Full Member
S: 17st9lb C: 17st9lb G: 11st7lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#18
hi,

you are doing the right thing in supporting her and giving her comfort through the dreading waiting times....

i had a similar experience when my brothers finace was cheating on him for a year, and she told him that she had to be tested cos the person she was cheating with was a drug user and he was having a test.....

needless to say my brother was beside himself for a few weeks and cried uncontrollably some days... like you i gave him hugs and support... but i know its difficult as you can feel so helpless to relieve them.....

be there for her, and i hope the outcome is a good one.


x
 

Isis

Ancient Egypt Nut!
C: 18st3lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 39.9
#19
hi,

you are doing the right thing in supporting her and giving her comfort through the dreading waiting times....

i had a similar experience when my brothers finace was cheating on him for a year, and she told him that she had to be tested cos the person she was cheating with was a drug user and he was having a test.....

needless to say my brother was beside himself for a few weeks and cried uncontrollably some days... like you i gave him hugs and support... but i know its difficult as you can feel so helpless to relieve them.....

be there for her, and i hope the outcome is a good one.


x
This is touching and sound advice again and thank you Lisee.

Sometimes no words can be found and are not really needed. Just to hold someone...just a hug.

Lacey x
 

Isis

Ancient Egypt Nut!
C: 18st3lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 39.9
#20
Thank you mini I hope you don't mind me posting something so far away from dieting but I really need help with this one and I thought of your forum first.I guess its because you guys just help and don't point the finger.Thanks mini
Hi again Sam,:)

I just noticed this particular post and had to come back and reply to it, for a very important reason I believe.

I for one, am so pleased that you thought of Minimins first when you needed to speak about this potentially sensitive issue, and I'm pretty sure that Mini would be too.

It doesn't matter that it may not be a topic about weight loss. We are all individuals and we all have our lives to deal with as we go along our journeys. This situation is what is happening for you at the moment.......that makes it important to all of us. No need for apologies Sam.

If you have a browse in the forums I moderate and hold dear to my heart, you will see that no subject is taboo, judged or discriminated against. We all respect each other and our situations and experiences in life.

I'm honoured that you could post about HIV on Minimins and feel comfortable. It says a lot about our community.
Thank You...x:)
 


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