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Homemade Pizza - Roadkill on a plate!!!


Here to help :-)
An inspired young lady recently suggested how to make a delicious Home Made Pizza using a Tortilla Wrap as a base. Inspired! I thought, a doddle to make. Sadly, the young lady expected the reader to have a basic understanding of cooking and food preparation, I possess neither. I should have read the book "Pizzas for Dummies" before I attempted this challenging dish.:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: :D:D:D

I started well, by covering the Tortilla wrap with almost a full container of Passata. I may have overdone it on the Passata :rolleyes:

Next with a flourish, I cut up an onion and diced half a yellow pepper. I nonchantly spread them around the pizza creating a vision of colour to gladden the eyes. I then discovered some ham in the fridge, which was on the turn. I decided in order to boost my protein intake, I'd eat it before the dogs got it...

Then, breaking with my strict "No Dairy" Policy, I cut a Mini Babybel over this gastronimic endeavour. To complete the ensemble, I lightly sprinkled some sea-salt, black pepper, garlic salt and Oregano over what was set up to be a world-class Pizza...:cool:

I then expertly lifted it onto a wire shelf and turned the Grill on to Max. There it rested until the perimeter of the Tortilla wrap was almost burned, slightly singhed...

I then attempted to slide the Pizza onto my dinner plate engaging the powers of gravity, to deftly remove my creation from the grill shelf. That's when disaster struck. :eek::eek::eek:

The horrible reality struck me that I had erred. Firstly, the Tortilla base fused with the Grill shelf and became immovable :eek: Then the contents of the Pizza moved off the base in an avalanche motion, and slid through the wire grill tray onto the awaiting plate. At lightening pace, I grabbed a spatula and proceeded to remove chunks of the base and slide it through the wires on to awaiting semi-cooked veggie mess. All of this took pace in a matter of seconds. But I have to say, it has tarnished the presentation of the meal, somewhat, visually.:eek::eek::eek::D:D:D

The best chefs say, "You eat food with your eyes" On the basis of my recent experience, I couldn't concur, and i wouldn't recommend it.

I was tempted to take a photo of it and post it up here, as all you successful cooks do, showing off your successes, but I fear a lifetime ban & legal actions pending for Post Traumatis Stress Disorder from the victims who would have viewed my attempt.:D:D:D

Perhaps, I used the wrong device??? I might use the oven the next time, but what will stop the base from sticking to the tray?

There are some brilliant minds on here. I have every confidence that some enlightened individuals will reach out a helping hand to this struggling MasterChef! :flirt2:
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Omg just had to reply you... had my laughing my head off with the above very amusing recount of your pizza experience :)

I am no expert and take this suggestion with no garenteed and at your own risk haha lol but perhaps baking paper on a plain oven tray might do the trick? If not do the above and spray fry light on the baking paper then your pizza on top?

Happy cooking :)


Here to help :-)
Hi Laura, I like the suggestion about the baking paper (WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT???):rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
Any thoughts on the Grill Versus Oven debate???:D:D:D

I am not in favour of the Grill after to-day, and possibly cooking the onions/mushrooms/peppers before placing in the oven???

I'm convinced there's room for improvement here, I haven't peaked in my Pizza making career yet surely???:flirt2:
i'd fry off the peppers first before placing on the wrap..i make my own pizzas too,,i use 2 wholemeal pitta breads (5pp) don't cut them,,spread salsa over them (0pp) then top with ham (1pp) and 30grms of aldi mozarrella light (2pp) and pop under the grill,,my kids love these too:)


Silver Member

hi guys, CT your post was so funny I also lol when I read it you can buy baking sheets in Asda in thier £1 section they are like silcon sheets which can be used over and over and can be used for anything even baking on .soory about your pizza it sounded soo lovely too.x


Full Member
I made my own version of homemade pizzas using the new Warburtons wraps last weekend and I put them in the oven.....it worked quite well xxx
I would definitely pre cook your ingredients , then add on top of the wrap and on the baking sheet in the oven. I am a SW girl buy had to make a comment as your recall was hilarious xxx


Here to help :-)
Glad you all enjoyed my little piece of prose. Some good came of it. :D:D:D

The devil is in the details, ladies. What temp should the oven be at before I attempt another Pizza.

Sincerely ladies, thanks for all your suggestions.
Hilarious!!! Made me laugh out loud - if you need another career then I think comedy cookery writing could be for you.

Anyway in answer to your question about temp of oven - I'd probably try 180. Do let us know if you have another go. And I would only put a couple of tablespoons of passata on - just enough to cover the base.
Good luck!
lol this really brightened up my day, so so funny! I'm going 2 have a go at tryin a homemade pizza next shortly. Its put me in the notion now :)


Full Member
Ha ha skitting here reading this.. souned so nice tho mayne when you try it in even next time it will work out the way you imagened.. better luck next time.. :)


Here to help :-)
Glad to have tickled your funny bones ladies, my efforts have not been in vain. :flirt2:

I did warn you guys about my wicked sense of humour,;)

Yours humbly,

Conor (the Chef!!!):D:D:D


Gold Member
Haha! I just loved this post :D

I had a homemade pizza tonight - I make them quite often. I don't pre-cook my veggies, just chop and chuck them on a tortilla wrap or the new warburtons wraps (which are delish!) and then shove in the oven for about ten minutes. The edges so go crispy but I like it like that :)


Here to help :-)
Hi Mets, glad you enjoyed the post. :D Every so often the muse overtakes me and I commit my ravings to print :D:D:D

Seems like you had more success than I. Do ladies inherently KNOW how to cook as part of your DNA???

It baffles me...But I shall return to the battle field - the Kitchen and overcome my nemesis, the Pizza wrap... All suggestions and advice is welcomed and treasured.


Conor - The Hungry Chef :cool:


Silver Member


Full Member
Sooo funny!!

I have never made pizza from scratch before, but the other night I made the sausage pizza in this month's Weightwatchers magazine. It was surprisingly easy and really nice. I did add a few extra ingredients to what the recipe suggested - some red onions, chillis and a few more veg but it was lovely and all the more satisfying knowing that I made it.


Silver Member
I tried the square ish wraps today for pizza and it was tasty. threw on 4 points worth of ww cheese and some chopped up ham. really was light, crispy and tasty.
Seems like you had more success than I. Do ladies inherently KNOW how to cook as part of your DNA???

Nope, we just don't tell anyone when it's gone wrong :p

"Is this meant to be this hot/spicy/cold/smelly/green?"
"Of course, it's a new WW/SW/low fat recipe I got from Sarah down the bingo"

(I don't go to bingo, for the record)

Enjoy the pizza! Trial and error, with emphasis on trial :D

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