honk if you were 100% today
- Thread starter Tummy Tamer
- Start date
Tummy Tamer
Full Member
Wow Miss D,
I take a day off the forum to make seedling pots out of newspaper and come back to find numbered paragraphs and talks of "important functions" !!! Sounds like you had yourself a bit of a "enough with the excuses!" kind of day. I applaud you, rationalising our approach to dieting is, I'm sure, the road to success.
I agree with everything you say, and would like to add a bit about paragraph number 1 , the "control" thing, this is a very, very, very complex issue and for me personally is key. I am a big fan of abstinence and the time it gives us carb junkies to examine our relationship with food. For me it has been a life saver. [Literally] However I think there is a danger that us carb junkies are also secret control junkies and that swapping uncontrollable scoffing for super controlled abstinence can mask some of our symptoms. By feeling that we are "in control" of food whilst in abstinence is not really being in control of food, cos we are not actually eating it ! Do you know what I mean ? Feeling like we have to fight food and beat it, shows the battle is still on , and that in our heads food still has some kind of strength of it's own. I think that the effect of carbs in my bloodstream and whatever rush, anaesthetising effect or comfort associations it gives me has become psychologically and physically addictive to me. I am trying to change the way I feel about food, not think of it as a comforter, recognise it's just nutrition, not see it as a reward, broaden my outlook away from food , not fighting it like a life or death wrestling match, but just putting it calmly in it's place, it's food, nutrition, an inanimate thing [ unless you eat live animals !] I do not need to fear it, I can just relax about it. I tend to get very tense thinking about food and stressed, although I often don't realise it. I am trying to recognise when these levels rise and try to remember to soothe my poor little inner carb junkie with calming rational reality checking phrases. "You're ok, just relax" being the most frequent and fairly uninspired but effective one. Very simple, but somehow I have spent years not doing this. I don't know why, I guess a little comforting eating became an unhelpful addiction over the years. So whilst I'm not saying , don't have a dinner after your function, also maybe think about the pleasures of the function as being more than just the meal [ I'm sure you probably are] not eating, is not deprivation, it is being good to yourself. I have done little brainstorms on paper in advance, when attending what appear to me to be food centred events, about what they are all about, and it's suprising when you prise your carb junkie mind open what other enjoyable stuff comes up ! friends, the venue, laughing, chatting, looking fab etc etc. We need nutrition, we don't need food to be happy. I try to just let food fade from the technicolour Hollywood music accompanied production it can appear to be in my mind and just let it fade into the background and let other things become more important. I hope I am not sounding too crazy, I find writing this stuff very therapeutic and it makes me feel less alone if it touches a chord with someone else out there. We are very complicated aren't we, but then if we weren't we wouldn't be soo FABULOUS would we !!! ENJOY LIFE !!!! HAVE FUN !! FEELING CONFIDENT AND HEALTHY!!! now back to my seedlings.
I take a day off the forum to make seedling pots out of newspaper and come back to find numbered paragraphs and talks of "important functions" !!! Sounds like you had yourself a bit of a "enough with the excuses!" kind of day. I applaud you, rationalising our approach to dieting is, I'm sure, the road to success.
I agree with everything you say, and would like to add a bit about paragraph number 1 , the "control" thing, this is a very, very, very complex issue and for me personally is key. I am a big fan of abstinence and the time it gives us carb junkies to examine our relationship with food. For me it has been a life saver. [Literally] However I think there is a danger that us carb junkies are also secret control junkies and that swapping uncontrollable scoffing for super controlled abstinence can mask some of our symptoms. By feeling that we are "in control" of food whilst in abstinence is not really being in control of food, cos we are not actually eating it ! Do you know what I mean ? Feeling like we have to fight food and beat it, shows the battle is still on , and that in our heads food still has some kind of strength of it's own. I think that the effect of carbs in my bloodstream and whatever rush, anaesthetising effect or comfort associations it gives me has become psychologically and physically addictive to me. I am trying to change the way I feel about food, not think of it as a comforter, recognise it's just nutrition, not see it as a reward, broaden my outlook away from food , not fighting it like a life or death wrestling match, but just putting it calmly in it's place, it's food, nutrition, an inanimate thing [ unless you eat live animals !] I do not need to fear it, I can just relax about it. I tend to get very tense thinking about food and stressed, although I often don't realise it. I am trying to recognise when these levels rise and try to remember to soothe my poor little inner carb junkie with calming rational reality checking phrases. "You're ok, just relax" being the most frequent and fairly uninspired but effective one. Very simple, but somehow I have spent years not doing this. I don't know why, I guess a little comforting eating became an unhelpful addiction over the years. So whilst I'm not saying , don't have a dinner after your function, also maybe think about the pleasures of the function as being more than just the meal [ I'm sure you probably are] not eating, is not deprivation, it is being good to yourself. I have done little brainstorms on paper in advance, when attending what appear to me to be food centred events, about what they are all about, and it's suprising when you prise your carb junkie mind open what other enjoyable stuff comes up ! friends, the venue, laughing, chatting, looking fab etc etc. We need nutrition, we don't need food to be happy. I try to just let food fade from the technicolour Hollywood music accompanied production it can appear to be in my mind and just let it fade into the background and let other things become more important. I hope I am not sounding too crazy, I find writing this stuff very therapeutic and it makes me feel less alone if it touches a chord with someone else out there. We are very complicated aren't we, but then if we weren't we wouldn't be soo FABULOUS would we !!! ENJOY LIFE !!!! HAVE FUN !! FEELING CONFIDENT AND HEALTHY!!! now back to my seedlings.
Miss Demeanour
I.P. Freely
Hello chuck, thanks for that. I appreciate it.
Yes I'm a control freak - it'll come as no great surprise to anyone who knows me! However the one thing I can't control is *me*. So taking a step back from my main addiction serves as a means of examining it, and have a rest from it. I do hear what you say about it being another expression of control-freakery though, and have slid into that mindset in the past. That's why I will have a break from it all occasionally, not least I don't want to develop a 'fear' of food. You can't develop a healthier relationship with food by hiding from it. Besides - food's nice. I just want to stop using it to feed my 'stimulant junkie' tendencies.
However - don't read too much into my comments re said function - There really is much more to it than the meal, I just mentioned that because if me, my parents (who live 140 miles away) and my OH (who currently lives 250 miles away) are going to be in one place for a day, it would be nice to sit down to a meal together, rather than sit in a corner nursing a sawdust bar. That's all it was.
Said event is my Law Society Ceremony in London, upon qualifying as a solicitor late last year. As I did it all part-time while holding down full-time jobs, it has taken a total of 9 years, (two of which as a trainee solicitor) and two law degrees (a 1st and a Masters), which involved a total of 15 sets of exams and a thesis. It'll be an event the parents never thought they'd see, a previously I didn't have a great track record of sticking anything out. It's like a graduation, and some. Gowns, speeches, photographs, chuffed (and somewhat poorer) parents. It was originally in January, but got cancelled because of the snow.
So it *is* quite a big deal, and not actually about the meal at all. In fact dealing with my weight was largely postponed over the last decade as I had enough on, and 'will sort it out afterwards', which is what I'm doing now.
Yes I'm a control freak - it'll come as no great surprise to anyone who knows me! However the one thing I can't control is *me*. So taking a step back from my main addiction serves as a means of examining it, and have a rest from it. I do hear what you say about it being another expression of control-freakery though, and have slid into that mindset in the past. That's why I will have a break from it all occasionally, not least I don't want to develop a 'fear' of food. You can't develop a healthier relationship with food by hiding from it. Besides - food's nice. I just want to stop using it to feed my 'stimulant junkie' tendencies.
However - don't read too much into my comments re said function - There really is much more to it than the meal, I just mentioned that because if me, my parents (who live 140 miles away) and my OH (who currently lives 250 miles away) are going to be in one place for a day, it would be nice to sit down to a meal together, rather than sit in a corner nursing a sawdust bar. That's all it was.
Said event is my Law Society Ceremony in London, upon qualifying as a solicitor late last year. As I did it all part-time while holding down full-time jobs, it has taken a total of 9 years, (two of which as a trainee solicitor) and two law degrees (a 1st and a Masters), which involved a total of 15 sets of exams and a thesis. It'll be an event the parents never thought they'd see, a previously I didn't have a great track record of sticking anything out. It's like a graduation, and some. Gowns, speeches, photographs, chuffed (and somewhat poorer) parents. It was originally in January, but got cancelled because of the snow.
So it *is* quite a big deal, and not actually about the meal at all. In fact dealing with my weight was largely postponed over the last decade as I had enough on, and 'will sort it out afterwards', which is what I'm doing now.
TT and Miss D - I have to applaud your eloquence and ability to put your thoughts down on virtual paper and make such sense to the likes of me who struggles sometimes to articulate what goes on in my head.
Thank you both.
Miss D - Huge congratulations on your achievement and I hope you truly enjoy your day of celebration.
Oh, and HONK - in the face of steak pudding, chips, peas and the meatiest gravy I have ever seen - being troughed in front of me by my other half this afternoon on a shopping trip. I had a coffee and a bottle of water and inhaled the steam off her gravy!
Bren xx
Thank you both.
Miss D - Huge congratulations on your achievement and I hope you truly enjoy your day of celebration.
Oh, and HONK - in the face of steak pudding, chips, peas and the meatiest gravy I have ever seen - being troughed in front of me by my other half this afternoon on a shopping trip. I had a coffee and a bottle of water and inhaled the steam off her gravy!
Bren xx
Tummy Tamer
Full Member
Was feeling pretty good about myself for having mastered the art of making seedling pots from newspaper, until I read Miss D's achievments !!
Forget the food, champagne by the jeroboam seems in order ! That is a truly superb achievment. Congratulations !!! That is real dedication and committment, which are much more worthy values even than having the necessary intellectual prowess. So best you take off that crown for not sticking to things track record and hand it over to a more worthy opponent, ie ME. You definitely do not qualify for it. When Yambabe gets on here she will no doubt do one of her clever little pat on the back smiley face things for you. I am doing it virtually. I really hope you do take the time absorb the magnitude of what you have achieved, you are a rare breed. I hope you feel proud of yourself. I have no doubt your parents are in awe of you. Sometimes life just doesn't take the straightforward and easy path that everyone expects and special people find their own path. That sounds a bit patronising, not to mention cheesey, but I do actually mean that sincerely. I hope you don't think I was really meaning to judge your decision to eat at the do, it was just a kind of handy example or link into something I was mulling over about the whole dieting thing as a result of reading your post. I meant it to be general not specific to you. It was more specific to me really. Everything is always about me,.... or is that a tad egocentric? [ I used a big word to try and make myself seem less of a loser, anyone impressed ?]
Forget the food, champagne by the jeroboam seems in order ! That is a truly superb achievment. Congratulations !!! That is real dedication and committment, which are much more worthy values even than having the necessary intellectual prowess. So best you take off that crown for not sticking to things track record and hand it over to a more worthy opponent, ie ME. You definitely do not qualify for it. When Yambabe gets on here she will no doubt do one of her clever little pat on the back smiley face things for you. I am doing it virtually. I really hope you do take the time absorb the magnitude of what you have achieved, you are a rare breed. I hope you feel proud of yourself. I have no doubt your parents are in awe of you. Sometimes life just doesn't take the straightforward and easy path that everyone expects and special people find their own path. That sounds a bit patronising, not to mention cheesey, but I do actually mean that sincerely. I hope you don't think I was really meaning to judge your decision to eat at the do, it was just a kind of handy example or link into something I was mulling over about the whole dieting thing as a result of reading your post. I meant it to be general not specific to you. It was more specific to me really. Everything is always about me,.... or is that a tad egocentric? [ I used a big word to try and make myself seem less of a loser, anyone impressed ?]
Miss Demeanour
I.P. Freely
Meh, I wouldn't even have brought it all up if it didn't illustrate the point - so no big plaudits or owt. At all. Please. Much any sensible approach a diet, I just took it one stage at a time, really. (Got fed up a lot, cried occasionally, wished things were different and/or easier, and sometimes didn't turn up to lectures when I'd had a bad week! No different to SW/WW really...) Parents are chuffed, but mother still finds stuff to nitpick about! lol
And dearest Yam and I go back some years, and she has been following my fledgling career (and feeling my exam pain, twice a year!) since about half-way through the degree.
And no, I wouldn't say talking about yourself or your own situation egocentric at all - a forum such as this is an ideal means of straightening out one's own thoughts and ideas, and in doing so can often assist someone else having an 'is it just me?' moment. For a lot of people simply the act of putting words down can help crystallise one's thoughts, which is often why blogs work so well...
And dearest Yam and I go back some years, and she has been following my fledgling career (and feeling my exam pain, twice a year!) since about half-way through the degree.
And no, I wouldn't say talking about yourself or your own situation egocentric at all - a forum such as this is an ideal means of straightening out one's own thoughts and ideas, and in doing so can often assist someone else having an 'is it just me?' moment. For a lot of people simply the act of putting words down can help crystallise one's thoughts, which is often why blogs work so well...
Last edited:
Tummy Tamer
Full Member
Sorry again but the "nitpicking Mother " award, is mine too, and I have the mental scars and bruises from bashing my head on the wall to prove it
Miss Demeanour
I.P. Freely
Oooh - only just noticed - Dorset - whereabouts?
Tummy Tamer
Full Member
Dorchester ? coming for tea ?
Miss Demeanour
I.P. Freely
When I'm next 'home' getting earache from Mother, I might need a bolthole.
Tummy Tamer
Full Member
Definitely welcome.
Miss Demeanour
I.P. Freely
What a top toppest honk!
Honkette. Bit hungry and down today. Just that sunday feeling, methinks.
Honkette. Bit hungry and down today. Just that sunday feeling, methinks.
Myr
Still Motivated
Honk ......
And Bren, you no longer need those carb nasties. You know now that your body functions much better without.
Incidentally did she feel bad eating in front of you? We have been out a couple of times and I know Mr Myr has wanted more than just his coffee but he worries that I will get upset.
Miss Demeanour, what a great celebration you have to look forward to and very well deserved.
Love Myr xxx
And Bren, you no longer need those carb nasties. You know now that your body functions much better without.
Incidentally did she feel bad eating in front of you? We have been out a couple of times and I know Mr Myr has wanted more than just his coffee but he worries that I will get upset.
Miss Demeanour, what a great celebration you have to look forward to and very well deserved.
Love Myr xxx
Honk (so far) no reason for it to change though. Except - been hungry today, must be all that fresh air down the canal on our walk this morning. An hour and a half and nearly had to carry both the dog and the OH back lol. Still no reason for it to change. Just had my soup and still have half a bar to go around 9pm.
Myr, my OH has no problems eating in front of me, she would fall over without sustenance and I know that so no worries really, it just smelt really good! Carbs, what carbs - will enjoy them once I get to target, but in reduced amounts than I used to eat. Half a loaf of toast is probably more than enough at one sitting.................
Bren xx
Myr, my OH has no problems eating in front of me, she would fall over without sustenance and I know that so no worries really, it just smelt really good! Carbs, what carbs - will enjoy them once I get to target, but in reduced amounts than I used to eat. Half a loaf of toast is probably more than enough at one sitting.................
Bren xx
Miss Demeanour
I.P. Freely
Had my OH here this weekend for the first weekend since starting the diet. I kinda timed it so I could deal with the first few weeks on my own. He was keen to find out, very supportive, and certainly noticed. Given that most of that which I fed him was either oven ready or microwaveable, not a huge amount of proper 'cooking' was involved.
Downside - my little home smelled of food.
Upside - I didn't really covet his dinner, it was *his* food, not mine. I'd have liked some, yes; but it wasn't quite the tortuous experience I expected.
However the proper awkward thing was that my usual method of testing for seasoning and temperature weren't available. That threw me...
Downside - my little home smelled of food.
Upside - I didn't really covet his dinner, it was *his* food, not mine. I'd have liked some, yes; but it wasn't quite the tortuous experience I expected.
However the proper awkward thing was that my usual method of testing for seasoning and temperature weren't available. That threw me...
Tummy Tamer
Full Member
Quak,
I think sometimes when you have a break from abstinence and then get back on it, the first few days are fine cos you are so well fed from the break and it's nice to be back in the routine, but after a few days your re awakened hunger can kick back in and it takes a few days for it to fade away again. It's sort of a delayed reaction. That's what I have found anyway. As you know the quicker you stick with it the quicker things get easier and the results come quicker. Your focus is very impressive, and I really value your posts, looking forward to seeing you get to goal. Perhaps we should have a forum party??
I think sometimes when you have a break from abstinence and then get back on it, the first few days are fine cos you are so well fed from the break and it's nice to be back in the routine, but after a few days your re awakened hunger can kick back in and it takes a few days for it to fade away again. It's sort of a delayed reaction. That's what I have found anyway. As you know the quicker you stick with it the quicker things get easier and the results come quicker. Your focus is very impressive, and I really value your posts, looking forward to seeing you get to goal. Perhaps we should have a forum party??
Hi TT - a forum party would be great, might have to meet halfway though as we are some distance apart! Am still hungry today but keeping up the water and black coffee and green tea intake to ease it where I can. I just hope it does give me a break soon but even if it doesn't, its not the end of the world. Am looking forward to my weigh in tomorrow, not been near the scales as I want it to be a (nice) surprise. Thank you for the lovely comments, it is nice to be valued isn't it?
Bren xx
Bren xx
Sounds like you coped well, sometimes the thought of it is worse than the actuality when you get there. I know what you mean about seasoning and temp, where I used to taste for temp I now just stick my finger in and hope I don't burn it (making sure it is clean first) and then wash it straight away before the desire to lick it gets to me. Seasoning can be left to whoever is eating it
Bren xx
