How do you deal with with bullies?

Discussion in 'Cambridge Diet 100% Posts!' started by khazarji, 28 July 2009 Social URL.

  1. khazarji

    khazarji Full Member

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    I am starting collage soon, and I will be doing a course full of teenagers, I am a girl in my mid 20 and I weigh 300lbs, I'm on CD, But I'm so scared I'll get bullied, what should I do
     
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  3. Witchypoo

    Witchypoo Full Member

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    Don't let them see you upset. I've been bullied in the past & the worst thing you can do is give them the reaction they want. It's not easy, and some nights I got home & cried. But I never showed how upset I was, and they eventually found another poor victim.

    You also should have someone, your tutor maybe, that you can talk to if this should happen.
    But with you being a few years older that the rest of the students, you may find they leave you alone.

    The saying 'what ever doesnt kill you makes you stronger' is spot on.

    And you can always vent on here, we've always got time to listen.:)
     
  4. Nicki-M

    Nicki-M Full Member

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    Hi Kharzaji,
    Hopefully when you get to college you will be with more mature teenagers who are at college like you to learn. I think you'll find that you have left the school bullies behind at the school gate. Bullie do not usually amount to much and generally end up leaving school and end up doing menial jobs.....they do not generally end up trying to further their education.
    I think you will be fine, you will always recieve good support and advice from this forum anyway...don't let it worry you. It is no use worrying about something that has not happened yet or might not happen in the first place.
    Good luck with your course and I'll bet you will be back here in September/October saying how great everything is going and that you have made lots of new and interesting friends. Not everybody looks at a large person and sees them as a fat person..usually personality overides this. If they do only see a fat person then they are not worth having as friends anyway!
     
  5. The Rose

    The Rose Rosie

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    Hi Khaz

    I work as a lecturer at college, and it is something that we do not tolerate at all. It is also much easier to withdraw students at college if they are in any way misbehaving or causing trouble. Your personal tutors will be really supportive and you certainly wont be the only big person at college.

    By September, you will be even slimmer, have more confidence, and be ready to take on the world.

    Very best of luck with your course and your diet journey.

    Rosie xxxx
     
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  6. Claudine004

    Claudine004 Oh Yea!

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    Hi Khaz,

    My advice would be to try and think postive. Yea you may be overweight, but there are a lot of overweight people out there. People may notice you but to bully you takes it to the extreme really.

    Try and think about all the fun you will have and the new people you will meet. Try to be confident too...you are doing something about your weight and that should make you feel good.

    If you expect to be bullied you leave yourself open to being vulenerable. Be strong, give off the right kind of vibe.

    Try and think....I'm a good person who deserves to attend college have fun and get an education and anyone who wants to mess with me will not succeed.

    If you are in that situation the college should be able to deal with it very quickly and effectively.

    Carry on doing your thing...don't worry about other people.

    Take care and good luck!
     
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  7. Sunshine Singer

    Sunshine Singer Dropped White Sugar & Feeling Fantastic

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    Hold your head up high and smile lots. If you smile at people they'll find it hard not to smile back. Think positivly about yourself and others will follow. You need to train yourself to think this way by thinking lovely things about you. After a while you'll start to believe these thoughts and they will become your beliefs. If you're happy on the inside then it will show on the outside.

    I would pitty the bullies as they have nothing better to do and won't get very much respect in their lives. Try and look ahead. One day you'll look back at them and feel sorry for them :) Also they are not worth wasting one single bit of your energy on. Save your energy for all those nice things you're gonna start telling yourself and you will build fantastic friendships with true friends.

    Hugs x
     
  8. BubblyPenguin

    BubblyPenguin Recovering Foodaholic

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    Hiya,

    I have to agree with all the excellent advice given here, especially
    Bullying can take place at anytime, any age, anywhere, BUT people who bully often do so because of their own insecurities, picking on people who appear 'weaker' than them to make themselves feel better. Give the illusion of confidence, even if you do not feel it, stand tall and look people in the eye- they will find it so much harder to intimidate you. I'm not saying it's easy, but the braver you are, the more confident you appear, the more you will believe in yourself and show others that you are a force to be reckoned with x
     
  9. XjigglypuffX

    XjigglypuffX Full Member

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    I have recently left college and it is different to school. There is far less bullying. If any. 99% of the students are more mature as they actually want to be at college, it isn't compulsory. And if you do get bullied, just tell your lecturer and they will come down heavy on whoever is doing it, colleges have more power in dealing with that sort of thing than schools :)
     
  10. towergilly

    towergilly Full Member

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    hi chuck well done for deciding to go to college
    i found it totally different from school people are there because they want to be - their a lot more mature everyone's new
    don't worry you'll be older than them but that just means you've had more life experience
    you'll be slimmer by the time you start and probably feeling more confidant
    so dont worry you'll have a great time and if you don't, don't keep it to yourself talk to your personal tutor and to us!
    much love and good luck x
     
  11. getting there!

    getting there! Full Member

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    Dukan... let's see!!
    Do you know i always thought people saw me as being 'fat', at 15stone i was pretty big as i am only short.......however after losing 3 stone some people didn't even notice!!! when i pointed it out to a few people they said 'i've never thought of you being fat'........ it just goes to show that sometimes we are far tougher on ourselves than other people!! As for people who do bully just keep in your mind that you are doing something about your weight....... They, however are not nice people and that is far far harder to change than weight.... especially as they are probably blissfully unaware of the upset they cause people......sad eh!!!
     
  12. chickenpie

    chickenpie Cambridge Diet Councellor

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    Darling, you haven't even started college yet and you are expecting to be bullied! You go there and hold your head high, if anyone does bully you it is THEIR problem not yours. Just keep at the diet and throw yourself into your studies and in no time you will have lost all the weight and feel fabulous! People only pick on others to make themselves feel better inside, it is often the bully who is the insecure one.
    Don't worry about those people, for all you know you will get on great with everyone and have a brilliant time at college!
     
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