how do you lose 2 thirds of your self?
- Thread starter broadsbean
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broadsbean
Gold Member
I am a trifle excited 
Matt recieved his first uni offer this morning
uni of leeds as long as he gets his predicted grades
that should spur him on
Matt recieved his first uni offer this morning
uni of leeds as long as he gets his predicted grades
that should spur him on
broadsbean
Gold Member
hmmm my day seems to be turning into a very good day
taken the dog out for a walk and for some reason decided to go the way which means having to go throgth a very narrow gate designed to keep bikes of the river bank.
Normally i don't go this way cos i don't fit
don't know why i did today but i fit :bliss::bliss:
means the dog gets a better walk cos don't have to walk down to the bigger gate on the lead which equals one happy dog :happy036:
meal plan for today as i am trying to refocus myself
B banana, yog with honey (2 syns)
L sausage (4 syns) with mushrooms and tomatoes, grilled hulloumi light and wm toast ( hexb1 hexa and 6 syns )
T chicken and apricot tagine (hexb2 and 3 syns)
doing couscous for the boys but as i wanted a red day I am not having any
I have just made up the tagine recipe
if its successful i will post it on here
don't always post my creations cos i just bung things in i am a bit of a haphazard cook and never sure if others will like it
taken the dog out for a walk and for some reason decided to go the way which means having to go throgth a very narrow gate designed to keep bikes of the river bank.
Normally i don't go this way cos i don't fit
don't know why i did today but i fit :bliss::bliss:
means the dog gets a better walk cos don't have to walk down to the bigger gate on the lead
which equals one happy dog :happy036:meal plan for today as i am trying to refocus myself
B banana, yog with honey (2 syns)
L sausage (4 syns) with mushrooms and tomatoes, grilled hulloumi light and wm toast ( hexb1 hexa and 6 syns )
T chicken and apricot tagine (hexb2 and 3 syns)
doing couscous for the boys but as i wanted a red day I am not having any
I have just made up the tagine recipe
if its successful i will post it on here
don't always post my creations cos i just bung things in i am a bit of a haphazard cook and never sure if others will like it
Lily42uk
Gold Member
:wow: what a fabulous NSV ....I bet you're thrilled as well as the dog :giggle:
Congrats hun, food looks fab too, will wait with baited breath, am still contemplating buying a Tagine...but have to be sure as Kitchen is full of pots pans and all kinds of cooking implements, etc...won't be any room for us before much longer :8855:
Oh and I wouldn't call it a haphazard cook, I would say very creative, cos you do exactly what I do, I rarely follow recipes but use them as a base to work from lol xxxxxxxxx
Congrats hun, food looks fab too, will wait with baited breath, am still contemplating buying a Tagine...but have to be sure as Kitchen is full of pots pans and all kinds of cooking implements, etc...won't be any room for us before much longer :8855:
Oh and I wouldn't call it a haphazard cook, I would say very creative, cos you do exactly what I do, I rarely follow recipes but use them as a base to work from lol xxxxxxxxx
MissClumsy
Dreaming of this dress!
WHAT? There's an American biggest loser AS WELL? And I've not seen any of it? What channel is it on? I also do a marathon on a Sunday, when my OH has a little nap on the sofa - last weekend he almost decided not to have his usual snooze so I had to talk him into it haha, I bet he was wondering what was wrong with me?!
Well done on your NSV by the way, and well done on your son getting his first Uni offer! I'm off to Leeds next weekend to see a band actually, LOVE the place and just wish I didn't live so far away! xx
Well done on your NSV by the way, and well done on your son getting his first Uni offer! I'm off to Leeds next weekend to see a band actually, LOVE the place and just wish I didn't live so far away!
xx
broadsbean
Gold Member
11 .00 am sat and sun mornings two episodes each morning
not that i am addicted or anything
broadsbean
Gold Member
well what a busy day yesterday
people have to realise they are eating into my minimins time
I went swimming yesterday morning at the gym was petrified went first thing in the morning and there was only me and my dad in the pool
I actually really enjoyed it and will be doing it again.
almost enjoyed 15 mins in the hydro pool more :giggle::giggle:
during the late morning and afternoon i went to my elderly aunts house while we started emptying it as it needs to be sold.
we found some amazing things including her fathers papers and a couple of letters addressed to him in france in 1917 !!!!!!!
there was also a little wallet with them containing some really old coins that have gone green with age we are wondering if they were with it because they are his effects sent back
my brother is going to embark on a fact finding mission to check who he was
we also found about 500 hankies, some war time stockings still boxed, along with what ended up as two carrier bags full of unopened assorted tights approx 30 purses and at least a dozen handbags.
so far we have done 1 room, i think this is going to take some time :8855:
then in the evening teen had his GF round for tea
need a much quiter day today
food diary for yesterday
B banana and yog prior to gym
L boiled egg on toast (hexb)
T minced beef pie with mixed veg,(hexa) baked persimmion fruit with figs topped with oats (approx 4 syns) but have loads to spare so not the end of the world if i am wrong
made the pie the same way as a cottage pie but topped with the cheese scone mix spread a bit thin on the top. turned into a sort of pastry it was really nice
will do todays menu later on
people have to realise they are eating into my minimins time
I went swimming yesterday morning at the gym
was petrified went first thing in the morning and there was only me and my dad in the pool I actually really enjoyed it and will be doing it again.
almost enjoyed 15 mins in the hydro pool more :giggle::giggle:
during the late morning and afternoon i went to my elderly aunts house while we started emptying it as it needs to be sold.
we found some amazing things including her fathers papers and a couple of letters addressed to him in france in 1917 !!!!!!!
there was also a little wallet with them containing some really old coins that have gone green with age we are wondering if they were with it because they are his effects sent back
my brother is going to embark on a fact finding mission to check who he was
we also found about 500 hankies, some war time stockings still boxed, along with what ended up as two carrier bags full of unopened assorted tights approx 30 purses and at least a dozen handbags.
so far we have done 1 room, i think this is going to take some time :8855:
then in the evening teen had his GF round for tea
need a much quiter day today
food diary for yesterday
B banana and yog prior to gym
L boiled egg on toast (hexb)
T minced beef pie with mixed veg,(hexa) baked persimmion fruit with figs topped with oats (approx 4 syns) but have loads to spare so not the end of the world if i am wrong
made the pie the same way as a cottage pie but topped with the cheese scone mix spread a bit thin on the top. turned into a sort of pastry it was really nice
will do todays menu later on
broadsbean
Gold Member
going to do my diary now cos have decided to try doing a craft project so want to get it started tonight.
auntie P has a mass of hankies in her wardrobe of all sortes of colours and designs so i have decided to make a patchwork quilt from them.
going to try and do it for crimbo and give it to her as a present. sounds wierd i know but hopefully it will look really nice.
the other plus is that i won't be bored or have time to pick xx
todays meals
B pb on toast ( hexb + 4.5 syns) banana
L chicken, roast pots, cabbage, leek, carrot, swede stuffing (2 syns) gravy (2 syns) syn free rice pudding
T minestrone soup
I have never done patchwork before so this could be fun xxxx
auntie P has a mass of hankies in her wardrobe of all sortes of colours and designs so i have decided to make a patchwork quilt from them.
going to try and do it for crimbo and give it to her as a present. sounds wierd i know but hopefully it will look really nice.
the other plus is that i won't be bored or have time to pick xx
todays meals
B pb on toast ( hexb + 4.5 syns) banana
L chicken, roast pots, cabbage, leek, carrot, swede stuffing (2 syns) gravy (2 syns) syn free rice pudding
T minestrone soup
I have never done patchwork before so this could be fun xxxx
*SugarPlum*
Gold Member
broadsbean said:going to do my diary now cos have decided to try doing a craft project so want to get it started tonight.
auntie P has a mass of hankies in her wardrobe of all sortes of colours and designs so i have decided to make a patchwork quilt from them.
going to try and do it for crimbo and give it to her as a present. sounds wierd i know but hopefully it will look really nice.
the other plus is that i won't be bored or have time to pick xx
todays meals
B pb on toast ( hexb + 4.5 syns) banana
L chicken, roast pots, cabbage, leek, carrot, swede stuffing (2 syns) gravy (2 syns) syn free rice pudding
T minestrone soup
I have never done patchwork before so this could be fun xxxx
I think making a patchwork quilt out of all the hankies is a lovely idea & such a personal Christmas present!
She will love it, something like that stays in family's for years!! Xx
broadsbean
Gold Member
well my anxious side has made a bit of a reappearance today:cry:
Think she needs kicking in to touch
have a counselling session tomorrow, which involves going to work first, the plan is i will go in on my own and "visit" the ward, chat to some people and then walk over to OH on my own for a session with the counseller to discuss how I felt
I am already panicing, really want to pick today but so far have just picked on grapes. I am swinging between feeling sick and feeling tearful.:cry::cry:
was alright initially this morning went to the gym and walked the dog and it just went down hill from there. I can't believe i feel this bad this close to going back to work. I have 2 weeks to get over this I really want to go back to work so am so cross with myself.
I can't take the buspirone tomorrow for 2 reasons 1 because i haven't taken it for almost a month and 2 because i won't be able to take it when i go to work so no point in creating an unreal trial.
Think i am a bit cross at hubby (quite irrationally) cos he goes out on a monday night and it hasn't occured to him to check i am ok or if i would like some company tonight he has been at work and is going out straight from work so have been on my own for most of the day.
tried to convince myself to go out but got really cold feet so didn't go.
I haven't really got anybody to blame other than myself and really am just feeling sorry for myself
ranting on here in the hope it will make me realise how stupid i am being
Think she needs kicking in to touch
have a counselling session tomorrow, which involves going to work first, the plan is i will go in on my own and "visit" the ward, chat to some people and then walk over to OH on my own for a session with the counseller to discuss how I felt
I am already panicing, really want to pick today but so far have just picked on grapes. I am swinging between feeling sick and feeling tearful.:cry::cry:
was alright initially this morning went to the gym and walked the dog and it just went down hill from there. I can't believe i feel this bad this close to going back to work. I have 2 weeks to get over this I really want to go back to work so am so cross with myself.
I can't take the buspirone tomorrow for 2 reasons 1 because i haven't taken it for almost a month and 2 because i won't be able to take it when i go to work so no point in creating an unreal trial.
Think i am a bit cross at hubby (quite irrationally) cos he goes out on a monday night and it hasn't occured to him to check i am ok or if i would like some company tonight
he has been at work and is going out straight from work so have been on my own for most of the day.tried to convince myself to go out but got really cold feet so didn't go.
I haven't really got anybody to blame other than myself and really am just feeling sorry for myself
ranting on here in the hope it will make me realise how stupid i am being
tillymax
Gold Member
You're not being stupid. It's a big thing you're doing and will make you anxious but you WILL do it
Look back to last time and how well you coped. You've come so far. You're a different lady to the one who first started posting on here.
What's worrying you most - arriving on the ward. talking to people, the counselling afterwards. Or is it something else?
As I keep saying, hubbies a man so he's stupid
I can't say don't worry cos I know I'd worry about it too but you're much much stronger than you give yourself credit for.
The patchwork quilt is a really good idea. I'd have loved looking through all her things and the letters etc would have really interested me. I think it's cos I'm nosy
Look back to last time and how well you coped. You've come so far. You're a different lady to the one who first started posting on here.
What's worrying you most - arriving on the ward. talking to people, the counselling afterwards. Or is it something else?
As I keep saying, hubbies a man so he's stupid
I can't say don't worry cos I know I'd worry about it too but you're much much stronger than you give yourself credit for.
The patchwork quilt is a really good idea. I'd have loved looking through all her things and the letters etc would have really interested me. I think it's cos I'm nosy
broadsbean
Gold Member
thank you tilly, i know I am getting my self worked up for nothing
I am convinced they are all going to be funny with me cos i have been off so long but really i should just wait and see
clearing out my aunts is fascinating and yes I am nosy too I love finding little snippets of her past. Today we have found the reciepts from her mothers,fathers and husbands funerals Its so sad really.
She is not a blood reletive in that she was my nanas best friend and when she died we sort of inherited her. she has no family of her own but has always been part of ours, which is making this all the more interesting unfourtunetly she can no longer remember most things and doesn't remember who a lot of the people are.
The world war one stuff I think we are going to give to the town museum cos it deserves to be preserved.
anyway meals for today
B boiled egg and soldiers
L minestrone soup, 6 cracker bread (6 syns) banana
T chicken and barley stew, muller yog and pomegranete seeds
S grapes,pear
I am convinced they are all going to be funny with me cos i have been off so long but really i should just wait and see
clearing out my aunts is fascinating and yes I am nosy too
I love finding little snippets of her past. Today we have found the reciepts from her mothers,fathers and husbands funerals Its so sad really.She is not a blood reletive in that she was my nanas best friend and when she died we sort of inherited her. she has no family of her own but has always been part of ours, which is making this all the more interesting unfourtunetly she can no longer remember most things and doesn't remember who a lot of the people are.
The world war one stuff I think we are going to give to the town museum cos it deserves to be preserved.
anyway meals for today
B boiled egg and soldiers
L minestrone soup, 6 cracker bread (6 syns) banana
T chicken and barley stew, muller yog and pomegranete seeds
S grapes,pear
JackieN
One day at a time, one step at a time
awwww Mandy :bighug: its going to be fine, just remember we are 'all' there holding your hand so you have nothing to worry about.
Remember your breathing 3 deep breaths in and out slowly is enough to calm a little
Do you have any rescue remedy? I prefer revival remedy from crystal herbs as think it works better (reminds me I need some for monday must order it tomorrow).
Just remember us silly anxious buddies - its the thought thats worse, and we are going to overcome this one little step at a time sweetie.
I wish I knew what else to say
I will send you a quick pm xxxxxxxxxxxx
Remember your breathing 3 deep breaths in and out slowly is enough to calm a little
Do you have any rescue remedy? I prefer revival remedy from crystal herbs as think it works better (reminds me I need some for monday must order it tomorrow).
Just remember us silly anxious buddies - its the thought thats worse, and we are going to overcome this one little step at a time sweetie.
I wish I knew what else to say
I will send you a quick pm xxxxxxxxxxxx
LoChan1984
Gold Member
Heyos Mandy hun - I hope the visit to work and the counsellor went okay :bighug:
The patchwork quilt sounds like a lovely idea, I'm sure your aunt will love it
Great news on your son's uni offer - is that his first choice? Hope it helps boost his confidence And your gate NSV is brilliant, how strange that you decided to walk that way when you wouldn't normally! Guess you must have known intuitively you'd bag yourself an NSV walking that way
Your persimmon pud sounds yummy! I've not used mine yet, they might have turned to mush already - poor neglected kitchen of mine
The patchwork quilt sounds like a lovely idea, I'm sure your aunt will love it
Great news on your son's uni offer - is that his first choice? Hope it helps boost his confidence
And your gate NSV is brilliant, how strange that you decided to walk that way when you wouldn't normally! Guess you must have known intuitively you'd bag yourself an NSV walking that way Your persimmon pud sounds yummy! I've not used mine yet, they might have turned to mush already - poor neglected kitchen of mine
broadsbean
Gold Member
My visit to the ward went, as i deep down knew it would, fine !!! chatted to a few people, checked my offduty, got my christmas off duty and after about 10 mins stopped shaking
Went to my counselling session and discussed how it had gone and why i had panicked yesterday
Also worked out what i need to change and what i don't need to change.
I need to see my self as others see me and when given a compliment or a critisem accept it
I need to stop viewing myself in a negative light and stop putting on the jovial personality when i am crying inside.
I have allowed you guys on here to see more of my vuneralbilty than I have ever let anybody, including my husband, see
I need people to see that it exists so they will understand the changes in me and not carry on assuming i will continue as before.
once again it comes down to that saying
" if you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always got "
one thing i have noticed on here is how many of you feel the same way and do the same things we put too much pressure on our selves to be perfect and supportive to other people.
We care more for others than ourselves which has resulted in some of our issues with food.
But do you know what, WE DESERVE TO BE CARED FOR TOO !!!!!
We need to take time out for ourselves and stand up for our selves.
We don't need to accept things for a quite life.
We are strong independent beautiful women who deserve to be treated as such
and her endeth the sermon for today
Went to my counselling session and discussed how it had gone and why i had panicked yesterday
Also worked out what i need to change and what i don't need to change.
I need to see my self as others see me and when given a compliment or a critisem accept it
I need to stop viewing myself in a negative light and stop putting on the jovial personality when i am crying inside.
I have allowed you guys on here to see more of my vuneralbilty than I have ever let anybody, including my husband, see
I need people to see that it exists so they will understand the changes in me and not carry on assuming i will continue as before.
once again it comes down to that saying
" if you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always got "
one thing i have noticed on here is how many of you feel the same way and do the same things we put too much pressure on our selves to be perfect and supportive to other people.
We care more for others than ourselves which has resulted in some of our issues with food.
But do you know what, WE DESERVE TO BE CARED FOR TOO !!!!!
We need to take time out for ourselves and stand up for our selves.
We don't need to accept things for a quite life.
We are strong independent beautiful women who deserve to be treated as such
and her endeth the sermon for today
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