how innapropriate would it be...

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by ColJack, 13 February 2011 Social URL.

  1. ColJack

    ColJack Gold Member

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    to tell a 13/14 year old girl that they look great?

    before you start calling the cops let me explain..

    at class a week or so ago we were doing the whole "how much have you lost?" thing and the girl sat in front of me ( with her mum ) said she'd lost 0.5lbs and the C asked "how do you feel about that?" and she answered "fat.."...
    my heart went out to her and I realy wanted to tell her she wasn't fat and that she looked great, but I didn't think that it would be appropriate for a 35year old man to be telling a young girl that..
     
    1974rach and sockmonkey like this.
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  3. time2bslim

    time2bslim Just doing it this time

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    isn't it sad when with all good intentions you can't say something like that .........


    It is also very difficult to tell someone who thinks they are fat that they aren't fat.

    My DD has lost 3.5 stones by calorie counting - she is now 8.5 stones and looks stunning when she goes out - however me or her dad says how lovely she looks she points at her 'small' tummy and says how fat she feels and how dreadful she looks when she looks in the mirror........................
     
  4. MommyNOriana

    MommyNOriana Full Member

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    Aww. I feel for u. Being a nice male can have such repercussions. Tell her mum. Just tell her that ur heart went out to her daughter and u think she's doing great. Double whammy. She will be chuffed too!!
     
  5. Kristel

    Kristel Full Member

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    If you ask me in our days we take pc way too far. There has to be something wrong if you cannot make an honest compliment without feeling bad and having to think about possible consequences.
    I agree with MommyNOriana, I'd tell her mom. I'm sure both of them will be very pleased.
     
  6. sockmonkey

    sockmonkey Full Member

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    I agree. What is the world coming to if you can't pay someone an innocent compliment? To be on the safe side I would focus it away from her appearance completely - in any case, most of us know that if you feel ugly all the compliments in the world won't convince you otherwise - and just say something along the lines of, that's a great achievement, you should be proud of yourself, losing weight is never easy to do. Even if you don't feel better for it now, you will do soon. And just leave it at that. I mean, goodness knows it must be difficult for a kid that age, what with peer pressures and all the rest.

    Coljack you are such a sweetie :)
     
  7. mommyB

    mommyB love it

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    In this context I think it's fine,you are only supporting her like you would any other class member, tho I agree that it might be better done in front of her mum. It is a shame that pc has made it such a minefield to just pay someone a well meant compliment
     
  8. Jennyonaplate

    Jennyonaplate Gold Member

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    What an awful world we live in where people have to think carefully about these things for fear or being branded as a pervert!

    (Makes me think of Ben Elton's book 'Blind Faith', set in the future, where is people call someone a paedo it sparks a witch-hunt, whether it's true or not!)

    Tell her you can see the difference, and that she's looking well. Obviously don't say she'd look smokin' in a mini-skirt, but you're at a weight loss class, if you can't tell someone there that they look good because they've lost weight then where can you?!
     
  9. 1974rach

    1974rach Gold Member

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    I'd just say well done on your loss, its and achievement and you should be proud.

    It is SUCH a shame when we are concerned about making a supportive comment for fear of reprisal - unfortunately these are the times we live in

    xxx
     
  10. *Emsie*

    *Emsie* Gold Member

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    I think this may be a good way of paying her the compliment without any embarrassment for anyone concerned :)
     
  11. charlies_mummy

    charlies_mummy all for my little man x

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    It is so sad that we have to worry about such things! If it happens again I would bring it up in a conversation with her and her mother that is she is doing so well and looks fantastic, am sure she would really appreciate it x
     
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