kellymundy
Gold Member
Perhaps you should list his flaws like that and see how he likes it?
hurting (not about cd)
- Thread starter loselose
- Start date
kellymundy
Gold Member
Hang on a minute...it's fathers day...why is he round a mates house watching cricket rather than spending the day with his child???
EllieMellie
Silver Member
Wow. The man must be a saint to put up with you being a human being! I assume he is absolutely perfect? No?
Right now you are feeling hurt and vulnerable so you need to get some space to make decisions. But you should understand this - you don't have to stay with someone who doesn't think you are the best thing since sliced bread. Because you deserve better.
By the way - blaming you is only his way of absolving himself of guilt - it's not because any of what he says is true. If it was, Richard Gere would never have cheated on Cindy Crawford.
Ellie xx
caroline4013
Silver Member
""ive always forgave him in the past and he promised ""
Me again!!!! Just re-read this, so, he's done something like this before????
Come on hun be strong.....pack some of his stuff leave it for him on the doorstep and bolt the door.....let him know you are NOT standing for this treatment because truly he will just keep doing it again and again unless you put your foot down.
There are too few men around who understand just how hard it is to keep a good home, look after a toddler, look fabulous and be skinny when you are tired, you are run down and have such low self esteem and on top of that have little or NO support from your partner because he's surfing the net chatting up random women or out drinking with his mates!!!!!
DO NOT STAND FOR THIS SORT OF TREATMENT please xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]
Me again!!!! Just re-read this, so, he's done something like this before????
Come on hun be strong.....pack some of his stuff leave it for him on the doorstep and bolt the door.....let him know you are NOT standing for this treatment because truly he will just keep doing it again and again unless you put your foot down.
There are too few men around who understand just how hard it is to keep a good home, look after a toddler, look fabulous and be skinny when you are tired, you are run down and have such low self esteem and on top of that have little or NO support from your partner because he's surfing the net chatting up random women or out drinking with his mates!!!!!
DO NOT STAND FOR THIS SORT OF TREATMENT please xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]
loselose
Full Member
fathers day
he is more of a friends guy
his flaws
he never tells me he loves me
always on the laptop
caught him before talking to girls on the phone
doesnt want to have another baby when i did
takes all the shifts at work to stay away from me
never wants to go out with me because of my weight
finds little things to have a big argument
i can carry on
it really hits u whilst typing these that i am better then him ive never hurt him but he just keeps doing it
he is more of a friends guy
his flaws
he never tells me he loves me
always on the laptop
caught him before talking to girls on the phone
doesnt want to have another baby when i did
takes all the shifts at work to stay away from me
never wants to go out with me because of my weight
finds little things to have a big argument
i can carry on
it really hits u whilst typing these that i am better then him ive never hurt him but he just keeps doing it
EllieMellie
Silver Member
What if he does want it? So? Isn't this about what you want? And if he does blame you, so what?
You have a choice here hon...better to die fighting than to live on your knees xx
You have a choice here hon...better to die fighting than to live on your knees xx
loselose
Full Member
what if i do chuck him out and he loves it. il be left alone with my child. how will i cope
i stoped work 2years ago and not been out much always at home with the little 1. go down to family now and again as they live out of town.
it just scares me the thought of being alone
i stoped work 2years ago and not been out much always at home with the little 1. go down to family now and again as they live out of town.
it just scares me the thought of being alone
EllieMellie
Silver Member
God, he has really worn you down hasn't he?
What if you leave him and find that not only can you cope without him, you fly? What if you make new friends and get a new job and become completely unbiased by his view of you and suddenly realise that you are a wonderful human being?
No one can make the choice for you. I know it is easy for me to say, and please believe me when I say I am not sitting in judgement. But unless you can put your hand on your heart and say that your life makes you happy, you have a duty to yourself to at least consider freedom xx
caroline4013
Silver Member
Honey, I am so sorry to say this .....but if this is what he wants (most probably it isn't) then surely it is better to let him go than to have a man living with you that you will never ever be able to trust and that you always will think is stopping with you out of pity!!
You deserve so much more than that out of life
Good luck hun, we are all here for you to chat to X x x x x x
PS EllieMellie just read your posts, Totally agree with you
You deserve so much more than that out of life
Good luck hun, we are all here for you to chat to X x x x x x
PS EllieMellie just read your posts, Totally agree with you
Zoe.D
loving life
If he wants it and he's treating you like this just to push you to kick him out then it doesn't matter who get's the blame. You know it's not your fault and that he's the one behaving like a pig.
I'm sorry to say hun but if he cared about you he wouldn't even consider treating you, the mother of his child this way. You are worth more than that and don't deserve to be treated like a doormat. Leave his stuff on the doorstep and tell him you don't even want to hear it.
I would usually say try and work it out for the child's sake but I think your child is better off having a happy and loved Mum rather than two unhappy parent's. Good lucky sweetie. Zoe xx
I'm sorry to say hun but if he cared about you he wouldn't even consider treating you, the mother of his child this way. You are worth more than that and don't deserve to be treated like a doormat. Leave his stuff on the doorstep and tell him you don't even want to hear it.
I would usually say try and work it out for the child's sake but I think your child is better off having a happy and loved Mum rather than two unhappy parent's. Good lucky sweetie. Zoe xx
kellymundy
Gold Member
Is it not better to be alone than to have to live with someone that treats you like that?
Your bloke is just like my ex (guess why he's my ex???
) in that he uses mental abuse as a control. He's got rid of anyone that can stick up for you (your friends) and it sounds like he's been telling you how useless he thinks you are for a while, even though it's not true. It's all about control and yes he probably will tell you he wanted you to kick him out so he can blame you but that all falls in with the control. He will only say that to save face because he thinks that he's battered your confidence down so much he can do whatever he wants and you'll do nothing!
If he's like my ex (which I really think he is) then this abuse will only get worse the longer you put up with it hun.
Your bloke is just like my ex (guess why he's my ex???
) in that he uses mental abuse as a control. He's got rid of anyone that can stick up for you (your friends) and it sounds like he's been telling you how useless he thinks you are for a while, even though it's not true. It's all about control and yes he probably will tell you he wanted you to kick him out so he can blame you but that all falls in with the control. He will only say that to save face because he thinks that he's battered your confidence down so much he can do whatever he wants and you'll do nothing!If he's like my ex (which I really think he is) then this abuse will only get worse the longer you put up with it hun.
Sunshine Singer
Dropped White Sugar & Feeling Fantastic
You've had some very wize words here. He's made you very unhappy and this is your chance to do something for you. I would suggest you have time to yourself for a bit. Why should you wait till he comes home tomorrow to talk!!!!!! I'd tell him to stay the hell away from the house untill YOU are ready to talk to him. Sod his things, he can do without them for now. You are vunerable at the moment and men like this will make you come around by telling you what you want to hear. Can you get a friend (even one you've lost touch with, true friends will help no matter what)or family member to come and stay for a few days?
I feel for you and just want you to know I'm thinking of you xxx
I feel for you and just want you to know I'm thinking of you xxx
caroline4013
Silver Member
Sunshine Singer .....fantastic advice!!!! x
loselose
Full Member
i think il be ok on my own
my mind is everywhere i just want to shout and scream at him but he isnt here. i look at my boy and think he doesnt deserve this. i wont tell my family yet and my freinds ive lost contact for about a year now. since i move here ive always just kept myself to myself.
i just want to curl up and cry but i carnt infront of my boy. im sorry for being a pain.
my mind is everywhere i just want to shout and scream at him but he isnt here. i look at my boy and think he doesnt deserve this. i wont tell my family yet and my freinds ive lost contact for about a year now. since i move here ive always just kept myself to myself.
i just want to curl up and cry but i carnt infront of my boy. im sorry for being a pain.
kellymundy
Gold Member
You've not been a pain hun don't ever think that and you do have lots of friends, you have us!
Sunshine Singer
Dropped White Sugar & Feeling Fantastic
You're not being a pain at all and are entitled to flip out. Okay that's good that you're okay on your own. If i were you I'd tell your family. They will be there for you regardless of their opinions. Tell them straight out that you are fully aware how they feel about him and dont need to hear that right now. That you just need their support whatever happens. Also, a thought for the near future, call your friends hun. They will know why you lost touch and if they are true friends and good for you they'll be there for you. Even if it's just on the phone. You need your friends, they are so important. Also you WILL make new ones very soon.
Focus on what you want. Being alone is scary however being belittled my a bloke for the rest of your life will be hard work. This may be what you decide you want in the end and that's okay if it's truley what you want.
It's okay hun. You're a bit lost right now and confused. You're probably not the person you once were and that's not to say you havent had good times. But give yourself some TLC and some time. Everything will be cloudy right now. Just try and keep calm and relax.
Big Hugs, get a good sleep tonight and see how you're feeling first thing. xxx
Focus on what you want. Being alone is scary however being belittled my a bloke for the rest of your life will be hard work. This may be what you decide you want in the end and that's okay if it's truley what you want.
It's okay hun. You're a bit lost right now and confused. You're probably not the person you once were and that's not to say you havent had good times. But give yourself some TLC and some time. Everything will be cloudy right now. Just try and keep calm and relax.
Big Hugs, get a good sleep tonight and see how you're feeling first thing. xxx
caroline4013
Silver Member
You've not been a pain hun don't ever think that and you do have lots of friends, you have us!
Ditto X X X X :hug99:
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