hurting (not about cd)

[Lynn8124]

Hello honey. I am with the other girls, he sounds like a manipulative control freak. You can do much better than him, if he's out of your life you can concentrate on you and your son, as suggested take a bit of time out for yourself, get to know yourself and build up your self esteem. You deserve to be free from this heartache.

 

[EllieMellie]

i really thank every1 advise as i was going mental abit ago

You are more than welcome and you are NOT alone. You are not a pain either.

xxxxx

 

[Serena A]

I feel so sad reading all this, and I think you've had some great advice.

To throw in my tuppence worth I'd be worried about the example your hubby is setting to your son - imagine in a few years time how much damage this man might do if he carries on belittling you like this.

You and your little one both deserve so much more xxx

 

[furrysmudge]

ive always forgave him in the past and he promised

Ahem, sorry love, but need we say anymore? xxxx

 

[LizzMB]

so sorry to read your post hun and couldnt not reply!

I agree with a lot of the previous posts...especially about whether he is someone you want to be around your little one?
I know he is daddy etc, but what sort of MAN puts cricket above his child? I think thats sick in the head!
Unfortanately, this isnt a situation thats just about you, you need to do what is best for you AND your son!!!! A man that doesnt value you or your lad isnt worth a thing hun!

Take the phone off the hook, and get the locks changed tomorrow! Let him grovel for your time and not the other way round!
He is NOT worth it hun, i know the pain is horrible at the moment but you will heal....and you will come back stronger!
The man sounds like a right D*ckhead!!!

HUGE hugs to you hun...

xxxx

 

[loselose]

thanks guys ive read the thread once again. im going to pack his things as i rang him to come and sort this out but hes not bothered,

il be back on later thanks again

 

[kellymundy]

im going to pack his things as i rang him to come and sort this out but hes not bothered,

I can hand on heart tell you that this is a complete lie, he will be bothered, maybe not by being kicked out but he will be bothered that you're taking a stand against him. Don't buckle hun you can do this, you need to do this for both of you.

 

[EllieMellie]

I agree with Kelly. If you stand up to him it will come as one hell of a shock to his system x

 

[Lexie_dog]

I can't really add more than what everyone has already said. I would also say the following though.

Do whats right for YOU. Staying together for the "sake of the children" isn't right. Kids can sense unhappiness. Rather live with one strong happy parent than two who are battling off each other.

Scared of being on your own? You won't be. You have family, you will have friends again once you pick up your self confidence. Without sounding horrible what if he died? You'd be on your own then, but life would still have to go on. I don't mean that to disrespect anyone who has lost a partner or a loved one, I'm not belittling that, but its a similar thing in that yes, it would be hard at the beginning, and at times afterwards, but with help and support they would start to get on. You'd cope.

If you are that rubbish a wife, do him a favour and let him piss off with one of his internet girls and cut him free then. Don't know why he bother to come home if you're that crap. Who does he think he is?

And if you do, by some small miracle, work things out, then fine. Don't avoid us, we won't think any less of you or think badly of you. Your reasons are very much your own and we would never judge until we'd walked a mile in the same shoes.

Most of all good luck. Stay strong whatever your decision and let us know you are alright, so we aren't worrying about you.

Again even if things work out, get yourself socialising more. Start with a parent and toddler group. Make some new friends. Look for a buggy fit class or similar. And start to improve your self worth for yourself. No-one is worth feeling crap for.

:hug99:

 

[irishangel]

Good for you ...get him the hell away from you & your son, both of you deserve so much better - he's belittled you & destroyed any self confidence you ever had hunny...as the other girls have already said contact friends & family - taking a stand against him will throw him into shock but remember that this gives you the upper hand - make sure you call the shots - not him.

ok, ok...I'll let you have my lifes motto ...make it yours hun - you're welcome to it - it has stood me in good stead since I adopted it at the age of 17...

it is - TAKE NO SH*T

Stay strong!


debs xx

 

[imagisal]

Whilst you may feel scared and unsure at the moment just think...maybe this man is the reason for YOUR unhappiness...the one that is keeping you from growing and making a lovely life for yourself. I left a very unhappy relationship 7 years ago..with a 7year old daughter to look after. I have never regretted it..I am free to be myself and to live life on my terms....not waiting on a guy to be the kind of man I wanted to live with...which he was never going to be. What has this man brought to your life lately? It sounds like he just puts you down and is crushing your confidence. No relationship is better than a bad relationship. Think this through and best wishes for making your choice.

 

[Greeneyes11]

11 years ago I threw out my ex husband, I had stayed with him for the children and he got more and more violent and controlling, although he never actually hit me.... but he would grab me leaving bruises, smash doors and once he threw me across the hall nearly breaking my fingers in front of my children. Although I had 8 children, I threw him out, he had told me I would never find anyone else, no one would want me and 8 children, he wouldn't even let me go out with my sister whilst we were married... and you know what, once I had thrown him out I actually felt a sense of relief that at last it was all over, even though I had to support myself and 8 children, and our heating and hot water was broken (worn out and needed replacing) and so we had neither and had to keep warm in one room and boil kettles to wash up etc, luckily we had a shower to keep clean.
You know what, we survived, wonderfully, and there was a company advertising in our local paper helping out single parents and carrying out work on their houses, and I qualified and not only got a new boiler, emersion heater and heating, but they spent over £10,000 putting in a new bathroom for me, I SURVIVED.... and then I met my now husband, and not only was he mad enough to take on me and my 8 children, he is also 15 years younger than me and we now have 2 small boys of our own, and are so so happy, and you know what, ex hubby is still trying to convince the children that they didn't see him throw me across the hall and that I tripped on a mat (that we didn't have)....
There is life after a controlling husband and that is what you deserve, of course you will cope, with the help from family and friends and for the sake of your little boy...

And the reason I think your husband doesn't want to come home tonight to sort it out, I think he is convinced you will just take him back like you have in the past and that everything can carry on as normal and he will walk over you, he doesn't believe you have the strength to get rid of him once and for all, he thinks he has total control over you.

Good luck in whatever you choose, just posted to show you that there is light at the end of the tunnel....

 

[Angela83]

Big hugs for you, I just cant imagine what you're going through. I hope everything works out for the best for you and your child.x

 

[caroline4013]

What a fantastic post Greeneyes11 you are sooooo inspirational X x x x

 

[devilishandsweet]

Can't really add anything to what already has been said, but just to wish you the best and be strong xxx

 

[Tinka]

Oh dear, try not to give up on the diet too. Because imagine his face hif he comes back sniffing around a month later and you have lost a stone. The more weight you lose the more confident you will become. I would take great pleasure in getting lovely and slim and then watch him grovel while i turned him away. Picture it. By sitting and comfort binging now you will make think he is justified by criticising your eating habits, you CAN show him that you are in control.

 

[Katycakes]

Just sending a hug, honey. And Greeneyes, such an inspiring story... thanks for sharing. Want to echo what Tink said, too... CD can actually help to get you through, hang on to it through the tough times and it can be your lifeline to the future. Good luck.

xxx

 

[size102b]

Hiya Im where you are,not married as he wouldnt 6 years on and Im leaving as he cheated on me at the begining when I was pregnant and 5 weeks ago he did it again,dont worry I got the ''its your fault'' its not our fault if someone wants to cheat they will and they give over their guilt to us to handle.
I have tried for 5 years to make it work but you cant live with mistrust it eats you up.....
Please pm me,I'll be there if you need someone hun.I've 3 girls and Im moving out and going it alone so I know what you are going through.
If you want to be with him ask him in black & white what you DIDNT do to make him want to look else where,then maybe get counselling if you feel he is right?((((hugs))))xx

 

[caroline4013]

Hi Hun

How are you today? Thinking of you xx

 

[Dragonfly]

Good luck, don't give up on the diet stick with it and you will feel a lot better. Its not your fault at all. I've had 2 cheating husbands. Divorced the first one but have stayed with the 2nd. Get someone to talk to, your GP or Citizens advice. See if you can get help. I hope it all works out for you. {Hugs)