Husbands beware

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by eye6769, 31 January 2009 Social URL.

  1. eye6769

    eye6769 Vegetarian who lives2eat

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    This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
    years.The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit
    of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.The noise would wake his
    wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

    Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because
    it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
    perfectly natural.

    She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would
    blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to blast them out!
    Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner
    and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had
    put! the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts
    and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs
    where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed
    covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and
    emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

    Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
    which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
    footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control
    herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After
    years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About
    twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained
    underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her Lip as she
    asked him what was the matter, He said, "Honey, you were right." "All
    these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
    "What do you mean?" asked his wife."Well, you always told me that one
    day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened"
    he said.

    "But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got
    most of them back in."



    :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:
     
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  3. Daisydee

    Daisydee FAT CELLS HAVE MEMORY!!!

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    :clap:very good!

    Daisy
     
  4. JaxieD

    JaxieD Silver Member

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    :8855:
    Jax
     
  5. shelgregs

    shelgregs Member

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    Omg what a cracker!!!!!x
     
  6. catznolan

    catznolan nearly there!! :)

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    pmsl should do that ta my fella lol xxx
     
  7. suepat10

    suepat10 I am one of the 63336

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  8. eye6769

    eye6769 Vegetarian who lives2eat

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    thought it may make you smile
     
  9. Barb

    Barb Gold Member

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    OMG - I love that one!
     
  10. niknaks

    niknaks Silver Member

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    LOL!!!!!!
     
  11. need2shrink

    need2shrink Full Member

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    :8855:OMG hilarious!!
     
  12. loobylou

    loobylou Reached Target. woohoo

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    That was brilliant, so funny. Thanks for that. xxx
     
  13. BevR

    BevR Full Member

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    i thought that was funny, hubby asked what i was laughing at so i read it to him, he was not amused. told him he had better watch out!!!!
    men have no sense of humour sometimes (only because they know they annoy us suffering with them farting - especially on the nice clean sheets - or is it just mine lol)
     
  14. Amber_Baby

    Amber_Baby I'm a raver baby!

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    Ewww! But that was hilarious!
     
  15. Marmalade_27

    Marmalade_27 Full Member

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    Nearly choked on my breakfast I was laughing so hard!
     
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